/brit/

Thoughts?

Well it's been literal shit so far so come on mate
no time like the present

pretty sure he was shot in the arse cheek hahaha

from what i can see of that guy's face, he looks like obama

wish obama would release a rap album

The gf said having creases from ironing on sleeves looks bad so she's using a sleeve board she bought when she's ironing my shirts lads.

It's only my fourth day at work with creaseless sleeves and ALREADY I have learned to look down on people with creases on theirs.

Truly a life improvement.

interesting how a paper can travel through the computer realm when you print it

i personally feel that the matrix and reality should never cross each other

officially fired from my job lads

Bet you look like a right twat haha

Mate you'd love a fax machine

Boys

Found out last night that this girl is literally in love with me but she's too awkward to message me, I'm also too awkward to message her

What do

1337 get

[spoiler] why are the posters in brit much less autistic than /cum/? girlfriends are mentioned in every second post [/spoiler]

Yes.
This is a normie thread

strawpoll.me/11326275
strawpoll.me/11326275
strawpoll.me/11326275

here's a fun poll for all of you, my friends, to vote in

fuck zico

Recommend me a book to read, /brit/.

>using Fairy

LMAO

Tesco Original Washing Up Liquid loyalist here

no fairies (users of Fairy because they're gay) beyond this line:
----------------------------------------------------------

>t. came here from reddit a week ago

a succulent chinese meal?

Which pony is your favorite?

Beat the Dealer by Edward Thorpe.

hmm most agreeable posts

No.
FONT

im quite fond of rarity desu

Nah, mate.
That place is the worst site on the web

Actually got this book for one of my pets in China.

Hoping to train her well to become my accomplice.

She is kinda cute and I managed to get her to get into a jealousy rivalry over me with this other cuter girl.

In the Buddha's Words: An Anthology of Discourses from the Pali Canon

tricked this yank laowai into thinking my accomplice and I are fighting over him lads

also he thinks we're in china but it's actually Chichester

this really gets the neurons firing

it's amazing how quickly the horsefucker thing took off and how moot recognised it as a threat so made a containment board, the fastest I've ever see a board implemented

it's amazing how quickly the posting from non anglo countries thing took off and how moot recognised it as a threat so made a containment board, the fastest I've ever see a board implemented

can NOT stand Englishmen lads

t. Englishman

can NOT stand girls lads

t. boy

it's amazing how quickly the criminals from anglo countries thing took off and how britain recognised it as a threat so made a containment island, the fastest I've ever see a country implemented

pls respond

interestingly enough
the Icelandic rescue teams arrived in Chile before the american ones did after the earthquake

What does a Polish accent sound like lads?

all me

she looks like a bit of a mong haha

>Millions have less than £100 in savings, study finds

Povvos

i hryev no idjeea

spent all my savings on coke tbf

Nerves would be shredded if I ever had less than £2000 in the bank

I think I fixed it lads

我知道你不是她。

她不会说英语。

*doesn't look this up*

>Work colleague just showed me a video of a woman utterly pulverising some bloke's bollocks with a baseball bat

Why would she show me this lads?

you must have been thirsty

gave her an ogre-ectomy

me in the video

Provided you aren't talking with an illiterate factory worker (average Polish immigrant).

Most prominent:
1) likely to omit articles (common with most Slavs)
2) stress on penultimate syllable instead of where it's supposed to be (specific to Poles, Polish is very monotonous and always stresses the penultimate syllable)
3) "th" sound pronounced as s/d/f... they just don't get this sound

also they're loud as fuck

business idea: become a pharmacist, get high off oxycondone every day

is getting a girlfriend as hard as I think it is lads?

desu

lads

bout to put one on lads haha

no literally just go on any dating site and find a mildly unattractive female with low self esteem and pretend to be a normal human being around her

not specific to poles at all

sticking a banana in my face hole

bit weird how you literally have to wear a badge if you want people to talk to you

Business idea: wear one of these and ignore anybody who tries to approach you

...

why are euros so shutin ;_;

2,3,4,1

is it your gimmick to do these backwards?

I'll just take the 4th please

Honestly all dogs but I have a thing for leather so

is it opposite day

4,1,3,2

I'm a feeder what's the big deal

*puts mine on*

runt tier fetish

got my badge lads

why on earth would I want to speak to londoner scum

not really

like to get really attractive 10/10 women and then make them fat so they will never leave me and then dump them to go onto the next one

they usually never lose the weight either because they're so torn up over me

>everyone having a serious discussion
>yank enters thread
>"hehe le cuck cuck meme islam Donald trump mexicans!"
Really starting to hate my own flag

*goes on the tube with a homemade Tube Shag badge*
haha alri girls

What the fuck is tube chat?

wearing a /brit/chat badge

>Sadiq Khan says post-Brexit ‘London work permits’ plans are in discussion

are khan

Can't stand females but want to have a wife and kids lads. Would NOT want my wife to work.

I am 28 and relatively well-off (inherited a house, make £42k)

What should I do?

Stomach cramps AGAIN after a night on cheap red wine. Am I allergic or something?

...

Leftists are Triggered by a cartoon frog

be yourself mate

I want to have sex with her

especially her accent turns me on

gf is hot but also quite mentally ill haha

alice.jpg? who the fuck is alice?

redpill me on the chemical changes in a man's mind after he orgasms

remember the sneezing gimmick from last night

thought it would last a few days 2bh

the best kind of gf

do you go to bed worried she's gonna murder you in your sleep sometimes?

Ahh yes, because brexit means not one single person is allowed to enter the UK unless they have a london work permit

stupid fucking paki twat

do you have hayfever or do you prefer not to say?

currently watching food detectives on BBC

bbc.co.uk/programmes/b077rgc9

your IQ drops 0.001% every time you orgasm

that's actually a fact

Do a bit of light old Hansard reading from time to time.

It's fun lads.

>mid-morning weekday /brit/
>asking neuroscience questions

mental

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alice_Roberts
Doctor Archaeologist TV Host Lady

haha pepe doesn't know what the f*** is going on

such a cutie lol

No she's just very tortured and insecure

I would be concerned about her murdering a girl who tried to make a pass on me

nah sorry was too busy getting fucked off my nut desu

I prefer Kate off of Food Unwrapped

there's behavioural change but not intelligence

Are Kate's got some lovely juicy melons

desperately want to punch her every time someone talks to her on that show and she does her 'OMG that is SOOOO interesting!' face.

not bad, lad

...

I honestly have no idea what thoughts go through the mind of a liberal to make this a reasonable idea.

>Melons
Hmm yes I don't believe you've really been paying attention to the content of the television programme

dough hand exit briefcase sun?

update on tim lads?

more like NSFW amirite hahaha

any tim news lads

DOA

It's bake point leave baggage heat

Yoga 710 a shit

matched with a girl on tinder that reminds me of princess Beatrice

hot

*walks towards you*

"alri"

bet old sadiqi thought this was a great idea

NEED YOU OUT OF BUSINESS SUNSHINE

myself on the left, District line to Richmond

personally ironed that shirt on the right

Why does getting (you)s feel so good?

[spoiler] p-please respond :( [/spoiler]

she looks quite uncomfortable

nice tits

committed to a buy on ebay then found i didn't have enough money in my account haha x

...

>ahh yes doing a wank haha mentalist

dopamine or serotonin release
can't remember which one

weeeew lads tim is getting lewd

twitter.com/TimmyUk/status/781416397633101824

>1:52am

GO ON SON GET IT OUT FOR THE LADS

why does he do so many camera tests?

The most unbritish idea I've ever seen.

Gotta test the camera

What's for dinner, lads?

Chicken fried rice for me.

ratatouille and lamb steaks

Who else here depressed but hate it when some normie they know comes out and reveals they've been 'suffering from mental illness'. Jesus christ stop whoring for sympathy and go back to living a miserable life without feeling the need to let the rest of the world know about it desu

Going to go get maccas I think, cbf trying to cook at this point

ah yes, let's call being a little sad and lazy a mental illness, then complain when other people talk about the subject

>fried rice

kysmm

I am not attracted to the physical realm. I could care less about your video games. I am attracted to raw psychic energy. Really anyone can watch television. I want to know what you know beyond the realm of the physical. And only meditation and large amounts of DMT can give you that intelligence. We've got time. Lets sit on the rooftop at 2am and introduce me to your third eye.

brown or japs?

>could care less
FOY

>could care less

fucking REEEEEEE shut up you stupid fucking cunt

>could care less

why do americans do this? The sad thing is they do it so much it rubs off on me

>could care less

aaaaah yes

makes perfect sense

That's really odd
I just want right over the "not" it didn't even register

"Headed" is just as bad
Further proof that the yank is a lesser being 2bh

sitting on the toilet pooposting because i don't want to go to uni and do my homework

telegraph.co.uk/science/2016/09/28/th-sound-to-vanish-from-english-language-by-2066-because-of-mult/

i don't want to WORK
i want to look at cool stuf on /BRIT/

yeeeeah
thats cool

>Given the status of London as the linguistically most influential city in the English-speaking world, we can expect to see significant changes between now and the middle of the century.
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFT

Maybe in the 18th century

recommend me something to eat for lunch lads

...

ice and lemons

think I meant this one instead

this week is taking forever

Respond to this post.

WAKE ME UP
WHEN SEPTEMBER ENDS

Alri cat yank

haha good post

liked the other one too though

It's nearly over, yankfriend

Your (You), sir.

If I wanna sit in and drink super tennents in the day I will, no one's gonna fucking tell me jack

thanks xo

bellend smells of skips lads

*slips polonium 210 into your tea*

hehe

*slips yoga 710 into your tea*

hehe

anyone else a postgrad neet

doing a masters right now and if I end up a NEET after this I'll probably jump off the railway viaduct

what is the mandem and why should I care
in 8 words or less

...

The mandem is a small island in the southern Pacific know for its vibrant community and unique exports.

graduated from manchester, hired by a multinational in korea (learned korean on my own; now fluent), youngest in the whole company, getting very big paychecks

ㅎㅎ

stop killing them

>paychecks
fuck off yank

>postgrad
yep

>neet
nah

aint a dirty yank senpai

I'm one of those autists with no Facebook profile picture

Any ideas for first one lads?

wow, this is powerful
truly makes you think

>tfw saw an incredibly beautiful girl sucking on a popsickle in a bus
Still can't stop thinking about it. And those eyes, man... Gotta fap or smth baka t b h

>welshnotbritish.com

These people piss me off. I love Wales, I love being Welsh, but if any cunt tries to tell me I'm not British, and that we don't share an extraordinarily close history and culture to England they can fuck right off.

>not going to the SIC today
fuck sake lads
people should be shot for canceling plans at the last second

not impressed at all.

How about a picture of your face

youtu.be/Uj2JQWhiFS0

literally incomprehensible weed induced drivel

...

>we

>The sun is beaming outside
>I'm still shitposting on Cred Forums

how do people in britain know what the poles that they're beating up look like?
they all literally look like the exact same overweight, circular head, bald retards

Finished my MSc a few weeks ago and am likely to get a distinction. Been applying for jobs for the last few months but haven't even got an interview yet, so I'm still working as a barman part-time for minimum wage. You better hope that your postgrad degree isn't in a meme subject like mine was, else you'll be just as unemployable as before but with even more student debt.

degenerate individual he is

>distinction
wow mate, worked hard on your btec didn't you

*opens /brit/*
ah yes, the runts are doing well.
*closes /brit/*

New South Wales isn't Wales m8

VAPE NATION

youtu.be/h4OiCUkxGto

bellend smells fantastic desu

Haven't seen my m8 for a while so I messaged him asking if he wanted to go for a beer sometime. He replied that he's bored of going to a pub and says we should watch a film instead. How do I tell him that I don't want to spend £15 on some Hollywood shit, especially as it'll look to all onlookers like we're on a date (I am DEFINITELY not homosexual), without sounding rude?

decided on going to subway lads

Ainsley Harriot

fuck off murderer

*angrily squeals as I try to get out to bite your face*

"don't think I can come lad, somethings come up"

Hahahahaha xD

theintercept.com/2016/09/29/u-s-military-is-building-a-100-million-drone-base-in-africa/

ah yes, very impressive
the military colonisation of africa

4>3>>>>>>>>

:^)

Wouldn't expect an uneducated runt like you to understand, but the grading system for master's degrees works on a system of Fail (70%). Now never reply to one of my posts again.

Just asked my mate to the cinema, he's a bit of a lightweight so I hate going to the pub with him because he just embarrasses both of us.

Hope I didn't come across as a bender

>he's a non murdering soft cunt

>hang out
>sit in silence

ahhh yes, brilliant catch up session. you two may as well meet up to practice your mime skills.

Just tell him you mug, how old/toffy are you that you might sound "rude"?

dunno mate, I haven't even graduated and I've already got a 32k grad job offer

enjoy you're meme subject x

Still want to meet up with the lad, just want to have a few ales and a chat, like ordinary people.

>implying I would EVER be friends with (you)

>No Man's Sky is being investigated by the Advertising Standards Authority

dear oh dear lads

won't be able to make rent and bills on that lad

nothing to do with us haha

let me just pop a sticker over that "multiplayer" label :)

finally got one

might touch my willy with it

had a bit of a regretful shag last night lads

Brita have thin upturned noses, while poles have big honkers

*investigates (You)*

had a terrific shag last night lads

sick of being messed about by this bird

Reported to MI5 hun, that's the Queens face on that

Imagine if Africa wasn't so poor

*imagines a whites only inhabited africa*

ah yes

...

SLRs and M14s are the most aesthetic post-war rifles
The SLR looks better with the short barrel and wood furniture though

In Starbucks

Music is Ben Howard

Ah yes...

@65493265

fuck off

always wonder what jfs are doing in my threads
don't you lot have your own generals
why are you here
what do you want

We're trying to recreate real-life england online, gotta have a lot of foreigners

just ate 2 nectarines, 2 bananas and 2 apples

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER

you a fruit lad?

just got my australian visa
see you soon bruce :)

no im a human being you idiot
what kind of a question is that

just asking lad
seemed you liked your fruit, so I thought I'd ask if you were a fruit

oversight committee hearing begins in an hour lads

yesterday's was four hours long

cancelled on me again wahey

cancelled a date with some idiot i met on tinder

peep the new fit, lads

fresh y/n?

baiting the fuck out of some EU shitters lads

he does seem like a bit of a fruit
i reckon he's lying

incredulous

EU? more like pee-yew

hahahahaha
mad man

Since breaking up with the so called gf she keeps slapping makeup on and tight dresses and putting her finger between her lips in photos to make them seem bigger

Bit weird

EU more you ew

caliphate

practically begging for BBC

i recommend you unfollow her or you'll see that heartbreaking photo of her grinding on Jamal McNig at the night club

eu more like cheese stew

going to fuck you in the face next time we meet hun xx

I don't follow her on anything desu, just had a cheeky look

She isn't even white she's gook, she begs for the BWC but the only people that like her photos are rasheeds and gimpy blacks

good post akhi

seriously though i'm getting stupid (You)s just from playing the ignorant american

>haha i was only pretending to be retarded

concocting a devious scheme

alri billy no (You)s

looking for a pepe I saw the other day where he's doing quotation marks
anyone know what I'm talking about?

Poo (I am doing one)

the alleged so-called proverbially metaphorical euphemistically colloquial """"""""""""gf"""""""""""

>looking for a pepe
bloody racist

i get more (you)s daily than you've eaten hot meals in your whole life, yanki boy

Doing a poo

Yep
Give me my white supremacy frog

love the tie and pinstripe suit combo x

while i have that one i am afraid im on my laptop so this will have to do

lads do i buy adipowers for $225? i can get them at that price until saturday and then they're like $248 again

help ree

fuck sake
close enough I guess

What year were your parents born in?

bet you wouldn't last 5 seconds in the ring with me though

>Energy drinks have loads of calories in them
Hmm. Why did nobody tell me this?

i would break the ring

DOWN IT, DOWN IT, DOWN IT!

Dad, '67
Mum, '74

just had a zero calorie monster desu

drink coffee pooplord

that stuff gives you ball cancer

fucking hell how underage are you

alri rockstar cunt

Thanks mate x

Morning reviewbrah

I'm 23 fuck off

TIL you can get salt and pepper on your sandwich at Subway

>74

That's a woman having a kid at 24 years old to make him 18 ar you a retard?

...

And vinegar

your mum's a bit of a slag

The Great Reddit Reddit-Off

whaaaat

It's gross desu

Vinegar is good though

your mum mustve been a right slag having a kid at 19

anyone whose parents were born in the 70s is underage tbf

ibtimes.co.uk/no-mans-sky-being-investigated-by-advertising-standards-authority-1583799

>mum was 19

howling

I know

She had a kid literally 11 months before I was born too
I have a brother 11 months (minus one day) older than me

Kpop thread?
Post kpop in uk.

good

the entire gaming industry needs to be slapped around

too many game companies taking advantage of young people

and the gambling is especially bad

My mum was 22 and my dad was 21 when I was born.

the gf

Mum, '63
Dad, '67

...

I posted about this earlier

it's a multiplayer game with no multiplayer :)

mom hates me because she had complications at birth and it rendered her infertile

dad hates me because i'm not his kid

kek

also a bit runty, but acceptable especially as people used to get married earlier

>tfw good at remembering names

slagcore desu

Best place to poo? Thinking of going to Costa desu

...

wonder how many stds she's had

dad's made a cheesecake lads
anyone want some?

They weren't married either, there's pictures of me at their wedding lel

RuneScape/10

MTX and in game gambling are a cancer. It's too easy to wash it off as some kids using daddy's credit card, when in reality it's just an insidious way to take advantage of underage children via a legal loophole.

In a toilet you utter barbarian

Maccies toilets are always spotless I find.

ah yes, businesses making money by taking advantage of idiots
shocking stuff

My name is xander

PLOP IN SHOP

church toilets are nice if you fancy a bit of a change. can be a bit cold in winter but you should be alright today.

>being a bastard

EXTREMELY runt tier

Can /brit/ recommend me some fun movies. Just fun movies about NEETs or nerds or gamers or something, I need something light to watch while I drink, the weekend is starting for me.

hi zander

done a new

My name is xavier

yeah, that's basically Cred Forums or Cred Forums

welcome to the N.H.K.

watch that Swiss Army Man movie

it's really fucking stupid but good for a laugh

This one la?

I'd have to go outside though, or watch a screener. Is there a good webrip or dvd rip of it?