/brit/

>bullying builds character

southampton solent university
manchester metropolitan university
birmingham city university
de montfort university
nottingham trent university
sheffield hallam university
leeds beckett university
liverpool john moores university
etc
etc
etc

if you have attended or considered attending or associated with those who have attended one of these universities you are a pathetic runt who is directly contributing to the downfall of this nation

going to a city's second/inferior/shitty university is embarrassing

>2 interviews for wagecuck positions tomorrow
>In dire need of a hair cut
>Half of my skull has disintegrated after using Head & Shoulders
Hmm... Do I embarrass my self today, and tomorrow, or just tomorrow?

who /waiting for their parents to kick them out/ here?

Me in the 'tache

by tar coal shampoo and cut it short on the sides tapered upwards into a short swing, assuming you're not a native curly haired bastard

i dont even know what i'd do if they did, probably just wander into the bush and get eaten by a crocodile

Actually I hung about with the pakis are work and they are genuinely some cool guys, pretty funny too

...

t. paki

>tfw i did a wagecuck interview with 2 months of hair growth, 1 month beard growth and got the job

oh well that's alright then
*opens borders*

prove that you're not a paki

wish i was a doggo

what a great, easy, happy life

wooof

>when you know you will die a virgin

Why even live?

>paki in work try to stop me cooking bacon in the kitchen
>tfw I still cook bacon to this day

>you will never be a doggo

go on wsg

hate crime

don't care much for sex ΤβΗ

There's some playful banter between English, Welsh, pakis, jamaicans, etc but they all accept each other as brits.

I've got ~£8k saved. Reckon I could probably survive for a short while at least, perhaps living out of a Premiere Inn or some such place.

yeh who needs nurses, physiotherapists, paramedics, occupational therapists, social workers, mental health workers, diagnostic imagers, teachers and all the other vocational focused courses and practical training that are done exclusively in old polys.

no use to them at all.

no we fucking don't

>tfw I'm a weirdo

Got any sauce for that?

My utterly Londoncentric ex wants to go to Leeds uni

Bit weird this

>>wish i was a doggo

youtube.com/watch?v=H833o5lnB2E

Blacks commit 50% of murder while they are only 13% of population and 93% percent of black homicide victims are killed by other blacks. 12 percent of white and hispanic homicide deaths were due to police officers, while only four percent of black homicide deaths were the result of police officers. the police officer is 18.5 times more likely to be killed by a black than a cop killing an unarmed black person.

>got my Civilisation of Greece and Rome lecture in 30 mins

Ah, yes. Feels good studying what I love.

Nah mate they lot are all pakis

This is an abnormie general and it's abnormie hours. You're not alone.

You racist piece of shit. Black people are oppressed.

thank you for these american statistics

...

leeds is a good uni city
lots of third eyes open round there

fuck off yank

fucking hate posters like you

it's /brit/ not /cum/, fuck off with your american statistics and american discussions and american everything

cunt

>European criminals who commit even minor offences will be deported and banned from the UK for up to 10 years for the first time.

>Making the announcement at the Conservative Party Conference, the Home Secretary said the Government does not need to wait until Brexit to introduce the measures.

alri Lenny

No this is normie lunch hour and in this hour the thread belongs to us

Dunno if I should do OT tonight or not lads

good post

>>got my Civilisation of Greece and Rome lecture in 30 mins
>Ah, yes. Feels good studying what I love.

My mum works for the rozzers and says an astonishing amount of crime is committed by white eastern europeans.

>tfw smelly willy

goooks gooks gooks

haha thats nice man
*waits for you to turn around then strangles you with a garrote wire*

Brilliant news

>get the daily email about OT, "hit night" and other such time-and-a-half shite
>consider taking up the offer for a microsecond
>remember that I don't give a single shit about my work and that I only do the bare minimum to get by
>ignore the email

*laughs* I'm wearing a neck guard

*skips off*

More of this sort of thing

Just had the CEO of Skips UK on the phone. We're negotiating a deal so they can bottle the scent of my very own jeb-end for their new and improved prawn cocktail Skips.

Hope they extend it to British criminals too

...

new pokemon trailer in a wee bit lads

/r/kpopfap

Absolutely no arse whatsoever.

How can I do exercise in my room lads?

Joining the uni jim is expensive and i'm a poor fuck

Nice body
Arse too flat imo

hello jamal

HOLY SHIT ITS HAPPENING

MAJOR SILENT SINGER HAPPENING

THIS IS NOT A DRILL

A HAPPENING IS UPON US

they all have an ashen grey look to their skin that I find a little off putting.

like they don't have good circulation or that they've bleached their skin.

also, i don't like dark eyes.
nicedubs wall pushups, planks

Watched the new Star Trek film earlier this morning lads (legally, of course).

It's alright. Quite sexually attracted to this spunk druid.

...

Played twice for the Sunday League pub team and got two man-of-the-match awards. Am I a normie yet?

>jim

>spunk druid.

mate, the words are the supposed to rhyme or at least sound similar.

thats the entire premise of the meme.

think on lad.

need someone to put me out of business

I'm going to bill you for the seconds you wasted there.

Copping Jamie Vardys autobiography lads

I'm down to 6 check shirts, gonna buy a red one and a green one

apparently if you click the 'return' button it takes you to some strange board called Cred Forums. should i try it lads?

I liked the bit where Khan called her a fucking stupid slut and raped her in front of Kirk.

Get some dumbbells for like 20 squid.

just had a cheese and tomato sarnie lads

was alright 2bh

gf just told me she's going to love me forever
wew

you're a dumbbell

Maybe when it was fresh and new. We're in the post ironic phase now.

...

>arse
Well Da'quanshius, how did you get into Britain?

Where from?

Does Tesco sell them?

Gonna fucking long to carry them back to my room.

>spunk druid
literally glass yourself

they're meant to rhyme
for example, fluid druid

then leave me behind because it sounds shit when theres no alliteration or rhyming present.

Buying a euro rail pass for 300 euros
5 travel says within 15 days
Getting a flight to Budapest and making my way home from there
Going on my own too should be a laugh

confession: i don't even get the point in irony and just love doing funny posts in the way that someone who isn't like me would post

t. Reddit-tier meme merchant

Extremely rude. Apologise right this minute.

Get some secondhand ones if you really want to save some dosh. Metal is metal is metal. No amount of previous use will change how heavy they are.

Tesco does sell them if you insist on new ones. Just don't get the shitty rubber/plastic women's ones.

confession: *runs in and tackles you to the ground*

I was a gym rat for the past 7 years or so but I've recently given up my membership and do it all from home now, so I might be able to give you some tips. It all depends on what you want to achieve though - are you some /fit/ retard who just wants to put on muscle, or are you wanting to become ottermode masterrace? The former is pretty difficult without weights, whereas you can achieve the latter quite easily just doing bodyweight exercises.

Really have got to get out of bed at some point

Only attractive brit in the whole world and she isn't even real

Who is this sperm witch?

*keeps things ticking over in midfield*

how can you post this symbol of race hate and keep a clear conscience.

Nah I just want to lose some body fat tb h

>ayo if she aint got a fat booty she aint my gurl u know what Im saying my nigga

>Brits will NEVER have a funnel cake

Or it gets rid of the weak ones.

*switches the play*

Don't none of you care I'm going railing around Europe?
The continentals might get me

I'm not the person you're replying to but I'm interested to hear what can be done fron the bedroom

>ottermode masterrace
First off: Kek at that delusion.

Secondly: I guarantee you're just plain skinny and not ottermode at all.

"cake"

i caked your mums funnel last night

>legally

of course

*gets goalside of the number 9*

what happened?

the vast majority of those things you've listed shouldn't require a degree

*watches as you get pass our defence and in on goal*

OI SWITCH IT!!!!

*you cross it to me*

hehe...runt...

...

This doesn't even make sense.

*wanders into thread*
well howdy partners

if you say so

fortunately your opinion is not listened to by anyone important.

had one while on holiday as a kiddlywink

was quite nice but it's just fried dough?

>don't none
Everything beyond that just became irrelevant. Stupid Frenchie.

If I were to go further North it would definitely be Durham or Leeds desu. I doubt she will enjoy the wide open third eyes, hers is calcified beyond repair.

umm sweetie I'm positioning myself infront of the number 9 because they're building an attack and might try and play him through

*tipetoes into the thread*
be vewwy quiet, im hunting wunts..

*hands you off and offloads to the wing*

pfft
try playing a real sport, cuck

>frenchie
working class inbred mong actually so FOY that's how we speak

>londoncentric
>third eye blindness
to be expected

Mums are fucking insane

posting the rare verse 4 of the National Anthem lads

Should foreign foe e'er sight our coast,
Or dare a foot to land,
We'll rouse to arms like sires of yore,
To guard our native strand;
Britannia then shall surely know,
Though oceans roll between,
Her sons in fair Australia's land
Still keep their courage green.
In joyful strains then let us sing
Advance Australia fair

ummm sweetie, that's not what goalside means. If you were goalside of the number 9 you'd be behind him, because he'd be offside if he was goalside of you before he got the ball.

*wears dirty underwear and doesn't wipe*

*gets into the rugby scrum*

>women thinking men wank to replace sex
Delusional.

Go for a run then

>Vaginal opera

She's probably just shit in the sack

/vp/ is about to go doopin' mental

play a little five on one
hit the kitchen, mix a batch
feed the ducks
distribute some free literature

Wank socks

Concerned about dinosaurs

Exactly my lad, get a bit teary when I think of the little smile she used to have when we got together, her fun loving nature and her wide open third eye. Sadly, she left her sixth form and started studying at some inner city hovel """college""" and it all went downhill. She does her makeup like a drag queen, obsesses over the Kardashians and goes clubbing every week now.

Did a cheeky little look at the people who follow her on normstagram and it's all just chavs and beta tier blacks

Ripped off by her sister in law.

you did it again! just disgusting behaviour really.

>had neck problems for years
>realise today I could have a brain tumour
>now I'm fucking anxious

your brain isn't in your neck, idiot

Ok, first and most obvious thing to do is cardio. Personally I do a 10km run 3-4 times per week, but if you prefer cycling you can do that instead. Distance doesn't really matter if you're only just starting off, just make sure that you stay out for at least half an hour, and that you're sweating by the time you come back. Keep trying to push yourself to an intensity that is difficult but manageable. Cheating and lying about distance is pointless because you're only cheating yourself. In terms of exercises for your bedroom, keep it simple at first. Press-ups, sit-ups, tricep dips off the edge of your bedroom, unweighted squats and calf raises, things like that. Try to do 3-4 of these bodyweight workouts each week, focusing on one muscle group at a time. This will build real muscular endurance and core strength, instead of just boosting faggy mirror muscles.

At the moment I'm doing 3 different bodyweight routines, 2 times per week (i.e. 6 sessions per week). The first is mostly chest (normal press-ups, diamond press-ups, tricep dips, incline press-ups, decline press-ups), the second is mostly arms (diamond press-ups, knuckle press-ups, progressing towards one-armed press-ups, tricep dips, bicep curls using a resistance band), and the third is mostly legs (pistol squats, lunges, feet together squats, squat jumps, calf raises, wall sit). I do all these exercises in a row without any pause, and repeat the set about 5 times per session. I'm still pretty new to it, but am enjoying it so far and feel like I'm actually building functional strength. The good thing about all these bodyweight exercises is they target different muscles and help to build core strength.

I am skinnier than I used to be because I'm doing lots of cardio and am unironically vegetarian so it's hard for me to put any weight on at all at the moment, but I still have noticeable muscle and am not skeleton-mode.

umm no sweetie goalside means me standing in between the striker and the goal (on the goal side of him)

do you even Sunday league

It's at the top of my neck so could be brain related desu.

Also get headaches from it.

>yanks

um...h-howdy, i guess.

can confirm you've got brain damage
fucking mong

yuck just watched his latest video and he's just wandering around in his underwear

ummm sorry to break this to you honey but if you're between the striker and the goal, then you're not in front of him, you're behind him, because he wouldn't have his back to the ball, now would he sweetie?

>lots of cardio
>no lifting
>vegetarian
Yeah, you're just skinny. Abs =/= "noticeable muscle"

when I caught bacterial meningitis it first manifested itself as a horrible neck ache mate

just a heads up

*walks into /brit/ with my runt hounds*
*hounds start going berserk*
*draws M1 Garand*
A runt is nigh ...

*holds up a mirror in front of you*

I don't think you know what "core strength" is lad. You realise that none of the shit you listed builds core strength outside of squats and lunges, right?

*Squeaks*

*Tunnels away*

my erection is roused.

redpill me on arkansas

I bet you've got legs like a fucking flamingo you scrawny wanker

are kansas

pronounced arkanaw

>IMF now says Britain will be fastest growing economy (1.8%) in G7 this year

ah yes

Are Kan Saw

*saw

I came to realise that 'lifting' is a complete meme for insecure people who just want to have big muscles because they think it will help make up for their terrible personality. Mirror muscles don't really have much of an association with strength in real life, hence why military training programmes around the world tend to focus on calisthenic workouts like the ones I described.

Press-ups don't build core strength? You want to do a bit of research lad.

Actually my legs are at a perfectly decent size, not scrawny at all. I think that's down to genetics though, because I've not done any heavy-weight exercise on my legs for about two years.

core = abdominals
chest = pectorals

(((IMF)))

>I came to realise that 'lifting' is a complete meme for insecure people who just want to have big muscles because they think it will help make up for their terrible personality
You tell em lad. Those grapes aren't even nice anyway.

Just a protip though; If you're going to accuse people of being insecure, don't sound so insecure when you do it.

>Has skipped legs day for two years
>Thinks he should be taken seriously
Post pictures famalam

What do you think you use to stabilise your body while in the various different types of push-up positions I listed? Jesus christ la this is elementary stuff.

>gym rats getting this upset

deary me

>We will reduce immigration this time. TRUST US

heard this Tory song before

Post pics of your body so we can laugh at you.

legs and arms
legs and arms ≠ core

OOGA BOOGA

I don't skip legs day, I just do bodyweight exercises and cardio now, instead of weighted exercises. Also I don't have any pictures of myself saved and CERTAINLY won't be taking any specially for a group of runts on a Mongolian image board.

I've transcended insecurity m8, it's all good.

This is just plain wrong. Press-ups are a very good core exercise.

alri DeShawn LaMarcus?

Still waiting on that picture of your body. You're not too insecure to post a picture of yourself, are you?

the gf is sending me pictures she finds funny
the problem is they're only funny in denmark apparently

you're thinking of decline planks
and that's not grandma tier 'exercise'

>transcended insecurity
Reality too if you think you're anything more than gazellemode.

Karen

good post

Reminder that eighty years ago today Mosley was BTFO at Cable Street

This is the best I can do, although the pic is old. It was taken while I was travelling, and for the 3 months prior to it I hadn't been doing any muscle-building exercise at all, just occasional cardio. I look fairly similar now though, although I've maybe put on a small amount of muscle and toned a bit more seeing as I can workout every day now I'm back to doing nothing with my life.

Both the upper and lower positions of a press-up are also plank positions. Just do the press-ups (incline, decline, or regular) with control and you'll definitely be working your core. Loads of articles about it online, here's one I picked at random.

fitness.mercola.com/sites/fitness/archive/2011/04/08/for-killer-abs-try-some--pushups.aspx

According to the article that is about a British woman, German men are too passive compared to Brits. Is it true that you are more offensive dating wise?
Is this British girl right?

Fuck off nazi cunt

>Is this British girl right?

no, that's a paki

>calling a german a nazi

is this your first day on the internet?

As you can see, the article explicitly refers to her as a British woman. Can't you spot a British woman if shes right in front of you?

yes

leicester is britain's second city don't let anyone tell you otherwise

>that
>ottermode

>all that pre-emptive damange control because you know how embarassing it is

>toned a bit more
>TONED

/brit/ seems very slow lads

I want this car and can get a good deal on it. Only 19k miles but I don't like the go-faster stripes.

Going to the shop lads, want anything?

It's 3 o'clock, everybody's in work or college

It sometimes seems to me that brits are even more racist than we are

...

looks like shit

I thought you said you had it a couple threads ago

I met a lad in Omaha who told me he would rather live in England because of how racist Americans are
I was like mate... haha

You could paint the hood black (not like it's practical anymore, but it's an idea).

What body type is it if not ottermode then m8? Also, post yours for comparison.

Cross me and so help me god I will decimate you and everything you have ever loved

I was going to buy the one I posted but then I found out about a massive dent which the seller didn't disclose.

What would you lads do if people found out about all the photos of them you'd saved from normiebook?

I'm not sure what I'd do but I'd be damn frightened

yeah lad grab us some permanent separation between northern ireland and the irish republic. ta x

nothing because i don't have any pictures saved you autismo

That's my christmas wish

It's absolute average. This is ottermode.

/lit/ told me Bukowski was some bullshit tumblr coming-of-age shit but he's damn decent on reading

Grabiz some united Ireland lad, cheers.

The only thing worth doing is pic related

Obviously that's a very good example of ottermode, from a good-looking actor who can literally devote all day every day to sculpting exactly the body type that suits the role he's preparing for. I hadn't worked out for months when that photo was taken, it's incomparable desu.

>Average person under 25-mode

They didn't have any mate xo

>you will never watch K-on for the first time ever again

Hold me lads.

Lads, just got a private caller who immediately hung up when I answered.What's going on? How do I find out who it is?

Now that the dust has settled... Fifa 17, how is it? Worth buying?

doing rancid farts

...

Just rang some random and hung up hahaha #banter

You'll find out when they kill you

>K-on

At last, diversity

>statiscically

Must be quite sunny over in england these days

>This absolute delusion
This fucker actually thinks he's ottermode.

Have some more actual ottermode and realise how fucking deluded you are to believe you even come close.

gf mailed me a goosebumps book so I can read it to her over skype

Bit cute

>tfw your capital city isn't the same ethnicity as the rest of the country

>you will
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Memory_erasure

She sounds insufferable tb h

May someone explain me: why has he got an EU flag?

Seriously lads

Doing a bit more thinking about the statistically white meme.

Most of the white people in London would be 30yo+ and wouldn't waste their time on Cred Forums since they have money to actually go out and do things.

It's more realistic that 90% of London posters are non-white.

It has better be a choose your own adventure

im like the irl chabuddy g

you sound a little gelatinous tibby aitch

Ahh yes, it's those hip, modern and cool Muslims I've been hearing about

yeah but Cred Forums has an overwhelmingly white audience

It's the time travel one!

Absolutely haraam
My sword is already sharpened for them

>londoners WILL defend this

Absolutely haram

you dont know how samples work

Is this the best damage control Londonistan can muster?

*swings into the thread*

alri lads

i prefer to receive anal sex when i am having relations.

YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS slayyyyy

cute

>tfw friends with muslim lads at uni
>they talk about this trans guy who wants to join the Islamic Society because he's decided to be muslim even though he is white british
>to her face all the muslims are accepting and non-judgemental because they would get fucked by the uni if they rejected her
>minute she leaves the room they curse him and say he's going straight to hellfire

They're not so different from us lads

pakiloving scum

What the fuck are you gonna do about it

:3

business idea: disown London, then annex it and take all their money

stop politicizing everything lads it's bad for the soul x

new capital in Exeter yes?

reminder: not being mates with a tranny or muslims is the patrician choice

not from london

and i live in a whiter area than you could ever dream of

Lads. I'm gonna need a serious answer here. What's going on?

can feel my third eye bulging from my head

like youre going to do anything about it fuckboi.

inshallah

90% of it is owned by saudis tho

It also happens to be propping up our """"recovery"""" with it's massively inflated house prices.

except they have poo coloured skin you paki loving twat

need to write a magazine article and unsure what to write about xx

suggestions lads?

pic related it's me

>Exeter
>Only labour MP in the southwest
Nah

>unable to separate the personal from the political
>I don't talk to people unless they agree with me

Fucking normies christ

getting the 2 for 2sdays in lads

both the major parties are functionally identical apart from jez lid

The decline of the white race and the growth of right wing frogs

>normies

I think /brit/ is a pretty cool guy. eh walks towards the camera and doesn't afraid of anything

>pepe appropriating black culture

hmmmm

What is the subject of the magazine?

Me getting up the day after a night out with the lads.

k-on

It's for Uni, so a magazine of my choice - just so long as the article is relative to the general content

Basically means I can write about whatever I want

student city and well educated/rich

course it votes labour you pleb

remember

ah yes, that also explains the labour stronghold of Bradford

k-on-ill yourself hahahaha

*hooks you hard and fast in the sternum*

pls

yes please
only death can free me

best paper yet??

we dont fucking know jfc mate

Expose the hive of scum and villainy known as /brit/

>The delusional normie who thinks he's ottermode has fucked off
Finally

>the hive of scum and villainy known as /brit/

>Hi, we've received your CV and we'd like you to come in next week to see us so we can discuss the role further

Tights girl at work has started spending lunch with another guy

So, write about the anime. About the harm of the anime. ABOUT DEADLY ANIME INJURY.
As our magazines do.

listening to hilltop hoods

politics of the north is above my pay grade
you lanks have yank-tier race-over-class party affiliations

didnt get enough attention the last time you posted this? fuck off

Write about why you thnk abos are utter shits and the fact that Britain was the best thing to happen to them.

giz 1 la

want a maccies but i had one yesterday and the day before lmao. i'm 10 stone 4 lbs at 5 foot 11 too so i can eat whatever the fuck i want

Pfffft hahaha

lovely

Ahh yes the so-called Alt-Right

it's a check to see what time you're usually at home

t. pathetic neet

...

Its called a chuddy you mong

Sounds cool but I have no idea what you should write about.

don't EVER post pictures of my gf again

This reeks of underage

nah the last few things have been very political I need to write about something else

plus the tutor is a right qt so I want to include sex in the piece as a subliminal hint

currently in a (You) drought

*lawrence of arabia theme starts playing*

Wells is the patrician choice

How exactly is that so different than mine? If anything I'm slightly more muscular than that guy, who doesn't seem to have much in the way of shoulder muscles or lats at all. Obviously this guy is more toned than me (which is hardly surprising as he appears to be a model of some sort), but I unironically think I am more ottermode than he is.