ITT: Patrician classic rock albums

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I'll also offer this suggestion, even though it isn't really "rock".

I disagree and I really like Cosmo's Factory.

Motorhead count?

I have no idea why no one here every discusses this band, especially as much as people freak out over Zappa and Captain Beefheart.

This. Holy shit.

let's get real shall we?

Pet sounds and abbey road

Any similar recs to this album please? It is simply fantastic.

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Hmmmm, you might enjoy Blood, Sweat, & Tears.

I'm disappointed that nobody has posted Aqualung yet.

>AC/DC
>patrician

Yea. Cred Forums is truly dead.

Stand Up [Island, 1969]

People who like the group think it's a great album. I do not like the group. I think it is an adequate album. C

I love his reviews so much

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Another early review of his.

Grand Funk [Capitol, 1969]

This group is gaining popularity apparently because they play faster than Iron Butterfly. That's a start, I suppose. Me, I saw them in Detroit before I knew any of this. I found myself enjoying them for 10 minutes, tolerating them for 15, and hating them for 45. This LP, their second, isn't as good as that performance. C-

how does mu not fucking love this guy, he's great

Audioslave [Interscope, 2002] *bomb*

Out of Exile [Interscope, 2005] *bomb*

In one of his columns, he said something to the effect of "Ian Anderson's skepticism and atheism might come off as refreshing and bold if you live in a small town in the Midwest, but in New York City it doesn't account for much."

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>powerage
More like underage.

His taste is fucking garbage and he's a literal pretentious dickwad

Come in and Burn [DreamWorks, 1997]

Success doesn't suit this drug addict, who will only quit caffeine when they synthesize rage itself. As someone who enjoyed Rollins' spoken word twofer "The Boxed Life" which recalls a lab assistant's job among other homely pursuits, it should come as no surprise that this thrash-and-churn is his metalest metal yet. It's all the more puzzling why Spielberg and Katzenberg decided to make him their flagship rocker--for all his corporate clout and cult cred, he was off the charts in a couple of weeks. As pathetic as it is for aging Spinal Taps to fabricate an adolescent rage they remember mostly from groupies and fan mail, it's even more pathetic never to feel anything else. C-

You don't have to agree with his personal, subjective, taste to enjoy his writing. He likes lots of albums I hate and vice versa. He's still amusing. And it's extra amusing when our opinions happen to overlap.

Frontiers [Columbia, 1983]

For those who truly thought the jig was up this time, I'll remind you of how much worse it could be--this top 10 album could be outselling Thriller or Flashdance or Pyromania. My suggestion is for Steve Perry to run as a moderate Republican from, say, Nebraska where his oratory would garner excellent press, and then, having shed his video game interests, ram the tape tax through. D+

Christgau isn't always wrong, you know. :^)

Through the Fire [Geffen, 1984]

Calm down, it's only corporate metal. No need to get upset at these four grizzled dildos. Still, you'd think their merger would at least produce a good name for a law firm. D-

Motorhead always count

youtube.com/watch?v=PDBOwPORHGU

this whole album I cant stand still

youtube.com/watch?v=s8uVuLQGLTQ&list=PLNsydrw6OBAF-J-p7GWa9CtqQ4hFoXrcE

whichever album it ain't me was on

Master of Reality [Warner Bros., 1971]

As an increasingly regretful spearhead of the great Grand Funk Railroad switch three years ago, in which the critics defined Grand Funk as a good old fashioned white boy blues band, even though I knew of no critics, myself included, who actually played the records. Grand Funk are American--dull. Black Sabbath are English--dull and decadent. I don't care how many rebels and incipient groovers are buying, I don't even care if the band actually believes their own Christian/liberal/Satanist muck. This is a dimwitted, amoral exploitation. C-

Chicago at Carnegie Hall [Columbia, 1971]

I'm not claiming to have actually listened to this four-disc set--you think I'm a nut? But an event this monumental is too big to ignore and Chicago is a C minus group if I ever heard one. The packaging on the album certainly fuels my suspicions--the lack of liners and the incredibly loose shrink wrap means that unsuspecting individuals buying it as a Christmas gift for their girlfriends will think that they have a review copy. In the end, the only way to avoid scratching these plastic documents is to put the whole shebang out on the coffee table and never touch it again. C-

I like dadrock but I genuinely find that album completely unengaging and boring.

Funkadelic [Westbound, 1970]

(Side one, cut one) Q: Mommy, what's a Funkadelic? A: Someone from North Carolina who discovered eternity on acid and vowed to contain it in a groove. (Side two, cut three) Q: Mommy, what is soul? A: The ham hock in your corn flakes. Now eat your breakfast, dear. C+

Incorrect

Even trips can't save you

Pic related is the obvious one

And this is the obvious one out of the grumpy one's discography

Does Christgau actually ever write any reviews where he actually tells you anything important about the album, or does he just write some wiseguy comment and call it a day.

All you need to know right here :'-)

Paranoid [Warner Bros., 1970]

I suppose I could learn to enjoy them as camp--the title cut is certainly screamworthy. After all, their audience can't take that whole Lucifer bit seriously, right? Anyway, I always suspected that horror movies catharsized stuff I was too rational to care about in the first place. C-

Follow the Leader [Epic, 1998]

Korn deny they're metal; that's Judas Priest, all four-four pomp and guitar solos. But they nevertheless demonstrate that the essence of metal--an expressive mode it sometimes seems will be with us for as long as ordinary whiteboys fear girls, pity themselves, and are permitted to rage against a world they'll never beat--is self-obliterating volume and self-aggrandizing display. Now calling up death-metal's signature groan to prove only to prove he's authentic, poor not-actually-abused Jonathan Davis raps, recites, scats, and sings dull tunes landscaped with eerie licks, odd bridges, and a hyperactive rhythm section. How much his fans identify with "My Gift to You" ("I kiss your lifeless skin"), "Cameltosis" ("You trick-ass slut"), or the tragic "Seed" ("Do I need this fame?") remains unclear. But I'm parent enough to hope they can find a more fully formed designated someone than a guy whose idea of transgressive art is netcasting soft-core s&m to any teenager with a logon. C

>ptrician
>classic rock

"waaaah, the board doesn't conform to my specific autistic tastes! it's DEAD!"

kys, autist.