Is it time yet?

Sad story. Too soon.

Dafuq

Winrar

Too late

Mary Ann Rialeb

In happier times

don't post those dude, it's too soon

Other pic has no moles?

I wouldn't even consider myself xenofobic, not against poland, japanese, whatever, but I hate all americans with all my might.

I fucking hate americans. They are as bad as mexicans, maybe even worse. I hate them with the fury of 1000 suns, those hamburger eating fuckers. They are the cancer killing the modern world. Not only are they straight ugly and fat, they are stupid. They may run tech centers and shit, but they're so stupid it's rage enticing. Every time I see an american woman I want to throw up all over the fucking place. On top of this, they smell terrible. Every time an american turns to talk to me, the mixture of their BO and breathe makes me want to shoot myself to get rid of the pain. It's like they never bathe. I could take my hairy ass and rub shit all over it, not only would it be smarter and prettier than an american, it would smell many times better. Their food is disgusting too. I could mix sewage in with vomit and make better cuisine.

Their country is shit too. It's over crowded and smelly as a pair of old dudes balls. They're the cancer killing this world, they're like mexicans except they aren't as good at sports and they aren't quite as violent. Just as ugly, stupid fat and smelly.

>dead
She is dead in this picture. It is part of a series. People often say that you can tell she's dead, but honestly, she almost looks alive. Dead though.

sorry, you're right. We'll never overcome this tragedy

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

U live in the south?

more like too late. so post all you have user

Wos host Du grod von mia gsagt Du gstingada kloana Saugrattler? Du woast fei scho dass I schon aus da Grundi im Hochzug bei de Gebirgsjaga ois Besta aussaganga bin, I war in am Hauffa saugeheime Raffareien mit de Mohammedana und hob über 300 obgraglt, garantiert. I bin a drainierta Untergrundkempfa und I bin da beste Scharfschütz von da ganzn Armee. Du bist nix für mi ois a zui mera, I blos Dir so prazis Dei Liachtal aus wie's die Welt no ned gseng hod, host me? Du glaubst Du kanntst davokemma nachdem Du sowas von mia gsogt host aufm Internet? Da denkst nummoi drüba noch, Oarschgsicht. Grad wie mia redn ruaf I meine Spionage-Spezln im ganzn Bayernland zsam, und dei IP werd grod im moment zruckverfoigt oiso richt Di scho amoi her fürn Sturm, Du Wurm. Der Sturm der wo des kloane Ding ausradiert wos Du rührselig Lebn nennst. Du bist aufgschmissn. Kloana. I kon übaroi sei, ollawei, und i kon de auf mera wia siebnhundad Artn dagragln, und des aloa mit meine Handerln. I bin ned blos gübt im Wirtshausraffa, sondern i hob a an zugriff auf des ganze Arsenal von der freiwillign Feiawehr von Olching und i werd des ois hernemma damit Dei gstingada Hintan vom schena Bayernland runtergspült werd, Du kloana Schoashauffn! Wenn Du gwusst hätts wos Dei kloana "schlauer" Kommentar auf De runterreisst, dann hättst wahrscheinlich Dei voigsoachts Maul ghoidn. Aba Du hosts ned kenna, Du host Dei Mei aufreissn miassn, und jetzt zoist, Du gottverdammta Troddl. I scheiss an Grant üba Dir aus und Du werst drin dasauffa. Du bist komplett hi, Klona.

When I was 15 I used to take a shit and my dad had been occasionally hanging out around the toilet asking me why I was so silent. First time I didn't respond so he tried to force open the door shouting: "Why are you keeping silence, what's going on there?"

He started swearing and telling me he's gonna knock down the door, also he used to swear when I forgot to flush the toilet, not only after I took a shit, but even right after the shit left my asshole saying that it stank. He used to tell me: "When I just took a shi I always flush it down and you have to do the same!"

One day I was sitting on the toilet and heard that my dad stood right next to the door, so I wipe my ass and got on my knees - there's a chink under the door - so I watch through the chink and see my dad on his knees looking at me through the chink saying: "What's wrong with you? What the hell are you doing there?"

By the way dad always drinks some decoction which makes him take a dump often, like 5 times a day, then he complains his ass is sore and farts. That's fucked up! That's a real story I'm not a troll.

Because I like to ruin things, the girl in the pic is fine. There isn't anything wrong with her. Its just a picture of a nude girl.

The on-going joke is that someone posts this completely mundane pic, and everyone pretends that the girl in the pic is dead and vaguely references her tragic end, with everybody complaining that its "too soon" to post the pic.

Essentially the point of it is to bait people not in the know and have them ask what happened to the girl, only to be met with "too soon, how could you even ask that? whats wrong with you" etc.

Now you too can blend into Cred Forums without looking like a newfag.

Классика!

>everyone is out of town for the weekend
>have mdma and viagra stashed away
>ultimate fap weekend is a go
>pills kicking in, things are feeling good
>want to grind my dick on something soft, wander into sisters closet
>she a huge raver so costumes and fun fur is everywhere
>start rubbing cock on a fluffy legwarmer
>something inside me snaps, and i see a pair of her nylons
>start putting them on, holy christ it feels good
>pills hitting hard now, eyes are rolling
>put on panties, then pair of big fur boots, dick rock hard
>grab a corset and start squeezing myself in, every time i pull the strings to make it tighter i feel like cumming
>put on a fun fur jacket over it, then a poofy tutu
>oh god we arent done yet, she has wigs
>big sparkling pink wig goes on, i start playing with makeup and cake it on my face
>dick is dripping through the panties, im swishing around in her raver costume now and dancing
>she has a big fur hood, thats what i need to complete everything
>oh ho, whats this, a pair of handcuffs under everything, sis is into bondage
>without thinking i snap them on my wrists behind my back and start bouncing around, the drugs practically have me cuming as i feel the furry outfit squishing all around me
>trip and fall down, core strength is weak and the corset is tight, can barely move
>try to get up, its not happening
>fun fur and wig blinding me, cant shake them off
>terror strikes me just as the drugs start peaking
>oh fuck it, start grinding against one of the legwarmers on the ground
>within a minute i have a mind shattering orgasm and scream like im being sent to auschwitz
>sudden commotion downstairs
>"ARE YOU ALRIGHT"
>oh shit
>someones home
>im high as fuck
>im in a fur raver costume
>feet coming up the stairs
>rolling frantically off legwarmer, huge cumstain leaking out from panties onto floor
>door opens

This girl isn't dead. It's a stupid meme. She's not dead. Look on her wrist. She has a bracelet. She has a disorder that causes her to slip into comas. Some asshole took her from the hospital and did this to her. This is about 5 years old. People on Cred Forums like to say "too soon" for some stupid reason. It's not even a good meme or a joke or whatever you wanna call it. It's just dumb.

google: Perfection Girl

to soon

Today, I was lifting an old carpet, as we have a damp problem. Underneath there were hundreds of slugs and worms. My wife and I picked up about 40 slugs and put them in a pair of my wife's panties. I then put the panties on. The feeling was amazing. I got a huge erection and I could feel them sliding over my glans, and round my balls. Eventually I could feel one going up my bum. I knew I would come soon, so I let my wife tie me up, with my hands and feet speadeagled and attached to some furniture. She then took the panties down and about 15 of the slugs were crawling over my cock and balls. I came, spurting out loads of cum all over the poor things, but still couldn't move. My wife then took the other slugs out of the panties and placed them on my cock. She was careful to put some of them right on the opening of my cock, which was now covered in a mixture of sperm and glistening goo from the slugs. She opened up my arse and tried to put one in there too. I got hard again quite quickly as I thought of these slimy little things crawling over me. I imagined them biting me. One seemed to be trying to enter my uretha and this caused me to come again. That was 4 hurs ago. My cock is now very itchy, but I am about to give them another "feed".

ok

So here I am, sitting on the toilet desperately trying to shit. I had diarrhea and was shitting myself while I slept so I had this brilliant idea to shove some TP up inside my asshole assuming I could easily shit it out. Well, it ain't come out and now I have a slight pain right side near belly button. Any ideas? I shot water up my asshole which seems to barely break anything down. Don't see any shit mixed in though. Drank some milk knowing I can't digest it well hoping that a wave of shit will have enough mass and acceleration to make it through.

You sick fuck. This is too much even for b.

Go on....

No need to rehash the story. Protip: It'll give you nightmares. Move on to the next thread. Trust me.

Dubs don't lie

>be me
>10 year old
>in school, math class
>got pretty good grades around those days
>hot teacher tells me to sit with the "cool kid"
>he's pretty fucking bad at maths
>i'm kind of friend with him (he is a very close friend to my best friend) so I agree
>several minutes pass, bell is about to ring, class is about to end
>sitting in front row
>he stops writing
>he looks at me
>he opens his mouth
>"How long is your dick user?"
>wtfnigga.jpg
When I was a kid I was very shameful about sex and stuff, so I didn't really liked to talk about it. Probably it was because my granpa once told me "if you masturbate when you're a kid, you will be short and bald when you grow up". That shit fucking scared me.
>i stare at him confused af
>bell rings, break time
>i didn't hang with him until the next class
>fucking art
>i fucking hate this teacher and I can't remember why
>we can sit on groups of 4-6 if we want
>sit with best friend and another three friends
>one of them calls the cool kid and invites him to sit with us
>thisgonbeawkward.png
>let's call the cool kid Luke
>Luke joins
>we're just drawing with crayons like a bunch of faggots when the teacher leaves
>Kids running all over the place
>one of them fell and broke his elbow
>fucking faggot didn't even know how to run
>the only Kids who are not running/fucking around are us, we're just talking
>eventually Luke broughts it up
>"Hey guys, how long are your dicks?"
>they answer in a very natural way: "I don't know, like 7cm?", "Probably 6cm or so when hard" and things like that
>boys around that age have small dicks you know, so did I
>then he asks me "how long user?"
>"I don't know m8, I'll surely check that out today"
>Luke starts laughing
>we're all confused
>"You small dicked faggots haha I bet you can't even cum!"
>then he starts telling us all of these fake-ass sex stories
>I call it bullshit but play along
>ffw to late evening
>ruler in left hand, dick in the right hand
Cont.

This is it boys, I've seen it all. The sucking of a prolapsed anus is the pinnacle of debauchery, it has to be. The thing of it is, I didn't even flinch at seeing it and now I am genuinely curious as to what it would taste like. Who would not rub their pinky around the smoldering and steaming crimson treasure until that little indentation is found where the tongue could most easily rest and find the greatest piquancy of delight? Only this heroine, being a woman incapable of summoning creative energy, did not think to pinch the little apple imitation to see how it molds around the fingers. Who among you gentlemen would not squeeze just until you hear a yelp from its gracious host; the yelp of course would serve as a signal for us to replace our tight clasp with our teeth. From here one may delight with patience for once the prolapsed anus is caught between a man's teeth, there is no rush, no rush at all. From here the sanguine jewel may be spread between the clenched teeth by a gentle movement of the jaws. If one so pleases, one may bite down just hard enough to rupture the prolapsed sanctity and release from it the juices which would render even Bacchus envious. One has to be careful here not to mistake the taste of blood for the splendid, unique flavor of the fruit's substance; once the distinction is made, the tongue can never again know pleasure unless it comes from the innards of a prolapsed anus. Yes my brothers, this is a fine sight but alas, the banality of woman prevents us from truly enjoying it.

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

I sexually Identify as an "SS-18 Satan" Intercontinental Ballistic Missile. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the Atlantic ocean ready to release my destructive cargo on filthy commies'. People say to me that a person being a weapon of mass destruction is Impossible and I'm -blam!-ing retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having ex--godwinslaw!- scientists install tungsten plating, 3 stage rockets and a Nuclear warhead on my body. From now on I want people to refer to me as "ICBM" and "WMD" as my preferred pronouns and respect my right to wipe entire cities and cultures from the face of the Earth. If you can't accept me you're Hippy-Trash and need to check your rocket privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

I sexually Identify as a meme. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of being uploaded onto the imgur website and linked into the reddit threads. People say to me that a person being a meme is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a computer scientist put my brain into my computer like johnny depp in transendence, equipping me with the dankest of pictures from the internet. From now on I want you guys to call me “Sir Danks-a-lot” and respect my right to meme from above and meme needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a memephobe and need to check your internet privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

I went to McDonald's yesterday and got a Filet-O-Fish combo and a Jalapeño Double. I was eating it in my vehicle in the parking lot and listening to an audio book when I glanced up and saw the McDonald's worker I ordered from was outside having a cigarette.

She waved at me and I nodded and had to wait 7 minutes before she went back inside and I could eat in comfort again. I don't think that employees should be bothering or even trying to socialize with customers outside of the McDonald's restaurant or drive through, but that is another story.

I went to McDonald's for dinner last night and got a Big Mac combo and a 10 piece Chicken McNuggets with barbecue dipping sauce. As I was driving to the second window the same girl was still working. She was acting somewhat obsequious and attempting small talk when she asked, 'why don't you come eat inside instead of in the parking lot'.

That really bothered me for many reasons. First of all, I don't want my routine or actions to be tracked by a fast food employee. Secondly, she should not try to tell me how I should live my life. I do not want to eat inside because I find it less comfortable and would much rather be inside my vehicle listening to an audiobook and enjoying myself and my privacy.

Overall, I think it was very unprofessional to bring this up. I should have a clean slate with each drive through visit, not have to get the third degree because I committed some sort of faux pas. Which I don't think I did, because I often see people eating in fast food parking lots. How does she know I am not busy going to work or somewhere in a rush?

How do you feel about eating in your vehicle in the parking lot of a fast food restaurant versus eating inside the restaurant?

Look who it is again, ID Heaven. I'm fed up with your shit faggot. The other day when you called me a newfag, yeah, haven't forgotten about that yet.
Fuck you I've been on here for months and probably get on here more than you anyways. Don't you know that you make yourself look like a newfag when you call others newfag?
Just because you learned how to hack your name and change it to "Heaven" does not give you the right to disrespect anyone at any time.

"Gott mit dir, du Land der Bayern,
Heimaterde, Vaterland!
Über deinen weiten Gauen
walte Seine Segenshand!"
Singende Grüße an den Nachbarn im "Osten".

Mein Neger

Maybe she just likes you? Also professionalism from a mcdicks my sides.

I'd just like to interject for a moment. What you’re referring to as Linux, is in fact, GNU/Linux, or as I’ve recently taken to calling it, GNU plus Linux. Linux is not an operating system unto itself, but rather another free component of a fully functioning GNU system made useful by the GNU corelibs, shell utilities and vital system components comprising a full OS as defined by POSIX.
Many computer users run a modified version of the GNU system every day, without realizing it. Through a peculiar turn of events, the version of GNU which is widely used today is often called “Linux”, and many of its users are not aware that it is basically the GNU system, developed by the GNU Project. There really is a Linux, and these people are using it, but it is just a part of the system they use.
Linux is the kernel: the program in the system that allocates the machine’s resources to the other programs that you run. The kernel is an essential part of an operating system, but useless by itself; it can only function in the context of a complete operating system. Linux is normally used in combination with the GNU operating system: the whole system is basically GNU with Linux added, or GNU/Linux. All the so-called “Linux” distributions are really distributions of GNU/Linux.

trips.

Bei euch die Stimmung im Moment auch so angespannt?(also in der Bevölkerung)

too soon user

Nice

In meinem Dorf mit 1100 Seelen ist alles total ok. Wir haben 10 Fluechtlinge, die in ner alten Vorkriegsschule wohnen und die benehmen sich vorbildlich.

Koennte nicht besser sein.

Ich schaetze mal, dass es in den Staedten anders ist. Ich lebe in einer Region, in die Andere in den Urlaub fahren.

Ich bin kein Bayer, btw.
de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ülpenich

I hate bayern.

wrong thread?

so basically if you don't know all the inside jokes you're a newfag

hmm also noch etwas mehr heile Welt. Wie stellen die 10 so an?

Selber hier Stadtbernd(zusammengewachsene, noch, getrennte Städe mit 82k und 50k Einwohnern - Sindelfingen/Böblingen, Württemberg).

Hier wird es deutlich mehr, Polizeifreund beschwert sich auch bereits und viele links-liberale Freunde scheinen aufzuwachen.

Denke 5 Jahre bei aktueller Stimmung.

Time for a new cringe thread? Cause that's what I'm seeing.

I now have a boner.

>Wie stellen die 10 so an?

Man sieht sie manchmal beim Einkaufen, oder an der Bushaltestelle. Ansonsten bemerkt man sie eigentlich garnicht.
Hab mal hier und da mit ihnen gesprochen und sie sind super gluecklich, dass sie aus dem Krieg raus sind.
Das sind "echte" Fluechtlinge, die vorm Krieg geflohen sind und keine "Wirtschaftsfluechtlinge".
Hab kein Problem mit denen und bin froh, dass die kleinen Kinder aus der Scheisse raus sind.

>Cont.
plz do

That's the joke

bad joke

Nigger fucking deliver already!

...

Genial hahah

Only jealousy could burn that hot m8.

newfag.

DSFARGEG

Fuck this meme

gb2/russia, faggot

You now know that this meme is an actual famous German entertainer on par with Jay Leno or Conan O'brien

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harald_Schmidt

da bin ich bei dir. dankbare, "echte" flüchtlinge, die sich freuen nicht mehr durch tod bedroht zu sein, sind auch gern willkommen und mir lieber als HarzIV-Vollzeitler...

Talking about fdsfgds and not dsfargeg sorry forgot to mention that.

gibt es einen Begriff den man nutzen kann um solche "Problemfälle" (also das Gegenteil von deinen Flüchtlingen) zu beschreiben?

"""Deutsche mit Migrationshintergrund""" laut Merklel..

top kek.

aber ernsthafter, wie nennt man dauerhaft negativ auffallende Personen und nein "Einzelfall" ist schon zu verbraucht.

Der "Einzelfall" ist echt laecherlich, wenn er fast jeden Tag passiert, oder?

Ich kanns nicht mehr hoeren.

Tew sone, man google it

Wir haben den Begriff "Gefaehrder", der aber nur fuer etwa 500 Personen in Deutschland benutzt wird.
Meiner Meinung nach sind es eher 50000+.

absolut.

google.com/maps/d/u/0/viewer?mid=1_rNT3k2ZXB-f9z-2nSFMIBQKXCs&hl=en_US

für mehr kotzen.

The fuck?!? No!!

Die Seite hab ich direkt mal gefickt verspeichert fuer zukuenftige Argumentationen. Danke dafuer. :3

>mfw there are so many "einzelfalls" that firefox nearly crashes on my 8 core cpu while trying to load

Fuck..

wichtige Info: alle Fälle sind belegt und durch Pressemeldungen der Polizei(Blaulichtreport) bestätigt(Link in jedem Einzelfall findbar.

Werd mich informieren. Danke nochmal.
Die Karte werd ich jedem Linken direkt in die Fresse feuern.

use chrome - way faster on it.
but yeah shitload of them.

Ich bin noch nicht mal rechts, btw. Diese Scheisse muss einfach aufhoeren.

>embrace the botnet

Top lel chromefag.

dutchfag here, can even read this, WTF?

du musst nicht Rechts sein um zu verstehen, dass das kein akzeptabler Zustand ist.

ich würde mich selbst als faschistoid ansehen, habe jedoch auch viele ausländische Freunde.

Die sehen die aktuelle Situation ähnlich wie du es beschreibst. Es kann nicht sein sich vor Fakten so zu verstecken. Ein paar dieser Freunde sagen auch deutlich, solche Personen rücken Sie ins falsche Licht und das darf nicht sein.

What is this thread about?

things.

vakantie over?

anyway welcome to germanic and why some languages are easier for us to understand

the premise of "oh look a squirrel" fomenting a conversation describes 95% of human non-sexual interaction....and eventually leads humans to sex or an hero.

why try to stop the tide ?

What things?

alright u fuckin wankers, i've been browing Cred Forums since april 2016 so i'm pretty experienced. now i want to know what the fuck happend to this girl, and don't say ''too soon'' cuz i have no idea what the fuck that means, show me some fukin respect because i have been browsing for a long time now so tell me what the fuck this picture is u wankers

doof

some.

wow april 2016 fag.

2006 masterrace here.

you were born 2006? lmao gtfo underage faggot. MODS

when I browse that long, my wife stops buying me potato chips and coke, and I have to go get them myself.....ripping the sweat matted chair fabric from my naked ass really hurts.....

Such as?

Don't open The pic

newfag here, whats the story of that girl ?

That's an interesting thing to say

I'm your dream, mind astray, I'm your eyes while youre away, I'm your pain while you repay

jew

too soon ,..

My God! I just fapped to her.

Salsa?

go on, then....

finally, a decent answer......should anyone care to notice.. and if they could bear to be satisfied.