ITT times when we were alpha as fuck, I'll start

ITT times when we were alpha as fuck, I'll start

>be stroking neighbor's cat
>fucking bitch animal scratches me
>kick the little fucker
>run inside
>see neighbor later
>she tells me they had to have the cat euthanized
>thinks a car hit it
>lol fatality
>flawless victory
>alpha
>as
>fuck

How is that being alpha, asshole?

not me but more someone else who aimed this remark at me

>friend asks for admin
>im busy so i dont feel like sorting it out right now and tell him to let it go
>He doesnt
>he's typing for like 5 mins
>this

"Hey at least you don't suffer with depression, having to sit there and self loathe yourself regardless of whether or not you even want to. You make it sound like I want to leave and keep myself to myself when in actual fact I just don't want to be in anyone's presence while I suffer through that shit. It makes me feel worse because when I'm depressed and doing irrational things, I try to make myself feel better, and when I feel better I wish to be put back in the position I was when I was okay, but no, you give me shit for how I feel, user. I can't help it. You say "just mute the chat" or "just log out of Skype" but it doesn't feel the same as removing my presence from the group to alert people that I'm not okay and I don't want to be there.


litteral retard used his own depression for admin rights

fuck you

There's a difference between being "alpha" and being an insensitive prick.

>"Lewl, I killed and animal and got away with it, alpha as fuck, right gais??"

That's how retarded you sound. Kill yourself, beta.

>be me
>15yo sister in her room dancing to Miley Cyrus songs
>go in there, tell her to shut the fuck up
>she turns volume up and keeps on dancing
>I punch her really hard in the tit
>she starts crying immediately
>I unplug her speakers
>eject CD and throw it across room
>tell her I hope she gets tit cancer
>back to my room
>play My Chemical Romance really loud
>alpha as fuck

That's just being a dick

your just being a dick

>Turned off computer and went outside

>playing WoW
>really need to pee
>run to bathroom
>start peeing
>cropspray errywhere
>run back to computer
>mom goes in bathroom
>shouts at me for peeing on floor, tells me to wipe it up
>I say no I'm busy
>bitch
>she mops up my pee
>I'm a level 72 druid
>I got epic items
>alpha as fuck

Beta AF

I'm getting the feeling that you guys don't the meaning of alpha

glorious

yeah well you dont know the meaning of my dick

>Used to work as a cook at the Marriott
>This other cook was trying to impress a server by making fun of me
>I'm not a cockblock so I let the first few remarks slide
>After a while I fucking exploded on him
>Told him if he talked shit one more time that I was going to dislocate his jaw
>Server saw
>The cook turned beta as fuck and started apologizing
>mfw I got head from that server a few months later
>Mfw he's dating her now

>be waiting to use ATM
>some fucking cripple in a wheelchair in line ahead of me
>presses the wrong fucking buttons
>gets his card back, goes to put it back in the machine
>I tell him to get to the back of the line because it's my turn at the ATM now
>alpha as fuck

Same shit happened to me

> age 2-10
> older sister constant cunt
> would fight me and scratch the fuck out of my face
> to this day I have scratch scars
> any way I was like 13 now
> sister giving me the usual bull shit then tried to scratch me again
> fucking lost it. Gave her a punch to the gut 60% power
> fell the the ground crying
> I stood over her and looked down and told her she was lucky I didn't go full power. Then told her to go fuck herself

TFW she hasn't bothered me since

>be me, 22 playing beer-league softball in Washington, DC
>couldn't find street parking for my motorcycle, so rolled it up onto the grass by the game and parked it next to a tree
>totally violated the "no parking motorized vehicles on National Park Service property" sign
>openly drinking from red solo cups despite bans on public drinking, open containers, public drunkenness and alcohol on national park service property
>while holding cup, buzzed, US Park Police officer walks up to me
>(for the record, US Park Police are actual federal cops, with guns and arrest authority)
>who's motorcycle is this!
>its mine officer
>you have to move it, it can't be parked here.
>okay offer ill move it.
>I finish my beer
>take my next at bat, hit a moonshot home run.
>round the bases, then jog to my bike to start it up.
>officer is like.. DID YOU JUST FINISH YOUR BEER AND THEN HIT A HOMERUN BEFORE YOU MOVED YOUR BIKE
>Yes officer, I did.
>ALPHA
>AS
>FUCK

>mom be giving me a lift to the mall
>I'm eating a bacon roll in the car
>we take a detour through Jew Town
>girl waiting at bus stop outside kike elementary school
>I flick a piece of bacon gristle at her
>alpha as all fuck

>girlfriend invites me out to go shooting
>her family has a ranch so we can shoot as much as we like.
>burn through about a thousand rounds of ammo in various calibers and gauges
>make love in her room while her parents are downstairs
>we're going raw today
>tell her that today is the day I knock her up
>her pussy immediately starts convulsing on my dick
>dump about a quart of semen into her
>drive home
>sleep until noon
>posting on Cred Forums
>alpha as fuck

...

>Talking to some blonde sorority chick on tinder
>Cock tease to the max
>The type to make plans to meet but never show up
>Get home around 12:30 and she starts talking about visiting me
>Knew she was bullshitting me
>Sent her my address and told her if she wants to come let me know ahead of time, if not I'm not wasting my time
>Start playing destiny with some co workers
>2 Hours later I get abtext saying she's 5 minutes away
>FUCKING SPEED CLEAN MY WHOLE APARTMENT
>She actually shows up
>Netflix, Smoke, Fuck
>One of the best asses I've ever fucked

>implying animal abuse isn't faggy

>be me, on omegle
>come upon a 7/10 girl. kinda chubby, wearing a T-shirt and panties. Obviously horny
>she types "hey daddy princess has been a bad girl"
>I type, is it shaved or fuzz
>she responds "well its fuzzy daddy, is that ok?
>I type "clean that up. nobody wants to see that." and hit next
>alpha as fuck

Every time I make this thread, you dumb pricks think it's serious

checked and kekd

You keep using that word "Alpha". I do not think it means what you think it means.

all words are made up at the end of the day

Was not bad until my chemical romance, as if the whiny fags are any better

>Driving to pick up my girl from work
>Buffalo wild wings next to a cclub at 2 am
>Some dude starts trying to hit on my girl
>Triggered
>Stomp out of the car and get in his face about it
>He backs off into his group of friends
>As I get back in my car I hear him say "You better leave"
>Pull a wrench from under my seat and start bee lining for him
>Ask him if he wanted me to fuck his life up
>Says sorry in front of all his friends
>Go home and fuck my girl

Beta as fuck
>be me
>message married chick on fagbook
>she messages me back
>arrange to meet in car park in her lunch break
>she turns up
>looks good end up fucking in her car
>see her 3 more times
>go to her house husband at work
>fuck her more in there bed
>tell her to leave him just for the LOLZ
>next day she throws him out
>1 month on they sell the house she moves closer to me.
>the day after she moves i fuck her one more time then i dump her ass
> Alpha as fuck

>be ITT
>See anons not understand the joke
>post actual dumbshit stories of them being alpha
>they also ask why other stories are so beta
>mfw
>decide not to post because Cred Forums is full of dipshits
>alpha
>as
>fuck

normie.

Why was that so funny

you'r*

If you have to call yourself Alpha then you're not. this was not alpha as fuck if at all

>corrects user's grammar
>makes a mistake in his correction
>beta as fuck

cool you had to use a weapon, you're real tough m8

check'um

beta
beta
beta
alpha
beta
beta "used to work at the marriott" = beta
alpha
colossal beta
Alpha as fuck. Also 13 confirms alpha
neutral on this one. funny but not alpha.
the real alpha part comes when you're a good dad
alpha
alpha
beta because you had a wrench
alpha and kek
alpha as fuck

>be me in high school
>see 9/10 standing behind me waiting in line at cafeteria
>turn around and say "excuse me darling, you have something behind your ear!"
>pull a couple quarters from behind her ear
>I perplexed her further with a series of riddles and magic tricks
>she was basically on my d
>she blew me in the theater room later that day then fucked her raw
>cash was so shit
>walked outside
>security guard (this is America) said "you can't leave, you'll be truant"
>I punch him in face bitch I do what I want
>Go home, sister says "what are you doing home?"
>bitch fuck off, I punch her in the face in my alpha rage
>I get a Capri sun from the fridge and Go on runescape to tell my clan chat about my day

>be me at college
>mandatory 50% chapel attendance
>swipe student ID at start of chapel
>walk down the aisle to find seat
>walk past the chapel seating to restrooms in the back
>walk out the side door
>go get a latte

>see this shit
>turn off computer and say thats too much faggotry for today

Thanks for the quick reference guide

My parents paid for me to go to a christian university. Olivet. Lots of hot girls with no parental supervision

>Be out tailgaiting with my grill
>friend asks if him and buddies can toss their hotdogs in
>I tell him to back the fuck up this one's mine and ain't no ones meat going anywhere near
>He looks at me like I'm fucking joking and starts shoving it in
>I kick the shit out of him and the rest of these drooling assholes
>Fucking blood everywhere, people screaming but no one coming at me now
>Once up done I get up, whip it out, and stick my dick on
>Sizzle and fire but fuck it I'm going to make my claim in front of everyone
>I finish before the cops arrive and haul me away
>Manly tears shed
>Ain't no one gonna sully her now
>ALPHA
>AS
>FUCK

>kid talked shit about me and my girl at the time on social media, this was junior year of hs
>started messaging him, spooking him, told him he's gonna get ran up on
>he said it was a joke and he's sorry I said idc ur getting your ass beat
>see him the next day at school
>punk him in front of everyone, got him to call himself gay on camera in front of atlesst 120 kids
>bitch slap him and backhand him becuase he said he wouldn't fight back
>kids at school post video of me slapping him on Twitter and it got like 400 retweets, everyone saw it and he gets called a bitch everyday for talking shit than getting slapped and doing nothing about it

The best part is after I humiliated him he texted me apologizing asking if we were cool

newfag

>Be me, driving on "dangerous curve" where speed limit drops from 45 to 25.
>continued to drive 45
>get pulled over
>tell cop i didn't see any sign that indicated the speed limit was 25, and since it was a divided highway i assumed 45 is the speed limit
>cop gives me a ticket.
>i request a court date
>i go back to location and find sign that says "dangerous curve ahead. speed limit 25"
>note that there are streets after the sign
>make a map showing this
>tell officer that i turned onto street AFTER the sign and i had no way of knowing the speed limit was 25 because its a divided highway
>judge throws out the ticket
>may i approach the bench your honor
>you look hot in that robe
>see me in my chambers
>blow hot cum all over her honor's face
>all true but the sex part

>Be me
>in collage
>working my ass off and have no food
>only some nature valley bars to eat
>eat nature valley bars without a plate, paper towel or anything
>still manage to not drop any crumbs
Alpha as fuck

>be you
>waste quads
>tell us about that time you were "in collage" but you can't spell it, unless you mean you were in some kind of art project made up of several images bound together.

quads

everyday hero

barrels of KEK

>be me
>29
>just bought first house/mini-mansion(richfag)
>last Saturday night is my first night there
>invite hot girl I've known and wanted to bang for quite some time over for a "first night in the new place celebration"
>we drink a little
>we drink a lot
>she gives me cocksucker eyes when we're curled up on couch and asks what I'm thinking
>"just how hot you look and that I wanna kiss you"
>we make out
>pause & back to cuddle and cocksucker eyes for a few minutes
>she asks what I'm thinking again
>something inside me switched on that said you gotta fucking own this answer. Don't be a bitch.(I'm kind of passive most of the time)
>"just how much I wanna fuck you on my new bed"
>she says "then why are we still in here"
>pick her up(petite) and basically drag her down the hallway undressing her along the way. Throw her on the bed. Give her the most dominant 2 hour fucking ever, similar to forced sex porn videos only 2 hours.
>sun comes up
>I cum in her because she's on the pill and idgaf if I had to pick someone at this point to have a kid with it'd probably be her anyways
>we sleep for an hour
>wake up and drink another beer as I send her off
>she wants to come back over this Saturday for a repeat.

>be me
>nerd, plays world of warcraft
>browse 4chins, lurk Cred Forums
>see darkweb guide, set up tor, browse dark web markets
>fast forward couple of years
>have beer with distant cousin, he's a drug dealer, in with some heavy people
>mentions price he gets it for
>i browse darkweb for better price
>mfw I become the supplier, by just buying bitcoins and ordering drugs to their drop
>take a nice cut everytime
>buy them guns, get paid heftily
>mfw i get paid more than a decent job, and I do nothing
>sometimes they give me cocaine, not a heavy user
>give it to cokewhores to fuck me
>everyone see's me differently because I go out with these guys
>we go on group holiday every few months to Thailand
>still a nerd, still play wow
>still browse Cred Forums
>have enough money to retire, and still fucking bitches
>alpha as fuck

Thanks Cred Forums

>be me
>be idiot
>typing while still eating nature valley bars
>roll quads
>fucking hell
>see I fucked up on spelling college
>still quads/10
>still alpha as fuck

>Be me, 33, jewish af.
>don't observe the stupid jew rules about food
>don't observe the stupid jew rules about working on sabbath
>don't observe the stupid jew rues about paying off the rabbis with bribes and kickbacks
>heal the sick and feed the hungry
>walk on water
>jew leaders get pissed because i can do shit and they just talk about it
>jew leaders have me killed
>3 days later i come back from the dead
>alpha af

>be 18 or so
>be walking around with bud
>he collects pop can tabs for a wheelchair charity thing
>picks up empty beer can on street to take tab (backwater town)
>cop rolls up
>"is that open liquor?"
>"no sir, just taking the tab off it"
>radios for back up
>take can from friend, whip it in to the bush
>cop shoots me a dirty look, drives away

I kind of like what you did and somehow hope it is real. proof by bitcoin wallet pic or by market transaction pictures.

You're* autistic

>my chemical romance
>alpha as fuck
nigga you're fucking kidding me?

can't show too much, but this is one that's just been done today. Ordered this for one of them and they're paying me £500 which is like 700$. For 5 minutes work.

Leave home without a word at 18, brother abusive and is a fucking ass and is 4 years older. Go home knock brother out, leave again.

> Be me
> always argue on facebook with pc faggot uncle who lives in africa
> mothers younger brother. She literally used to protect him from bullies he was such a bitch
> "Muslims are nice, trump is a meanie, tumblr genders are real, safe spaces bla bla"
> Family get pissy at me
> He decides to visit one day
> probably 150 pounds, 6'2'', in his 50s, rich white guy who managed to pull a 20 year old 9/10 black girl as a trophy wife
> So she says. Not even sure shes 18
> At family reunion
> Everybody being super polite, everybody gets drunk
> He picks an argument
> I go off, shout, call him a pathetic cuck, he literally cowers and sulks to bed
> family get pissy at me for being a "bully"
> Whatever
> Taking a piss an hour later
> See uncles trophy wife
> Go to apologize
> She says it's good to see someone stand up to him
> I end up fucking her

tldr; I cucked my uncle

friend in the north, part of my family lives in silloth. chances your guys have such contacts in southern germany, which could use your type of service too?

>be in college working retail part time
>8/10 track runner chick gives me googly eyes
>ask if she's down to smoke some time
>hellyeah.jpeg
>fast forward few days, Friday night get text
>go over, smoke fat bowl start watching some shit movie
>look over at her "wanna make out?"
>fucked her on her couch.
>left