ITT: Things you are too embarrassed to admit to anyone but anonymous

this man doesn't. He only takes Super Male Vitality™, BrainForce™ & Anthroplex™

26? why u want to know

there's still time OP

...

People do it in jail all the time. It's ok to bang dudes if you can't get pussy.

How about jacking off, you fucking retard?
I jack off every single day and have no problem keeping my sex drive in check. Not that I wouldn't wanna actually bang chicks, but if sex isn't readily available, jacking off does the job perfectly fine.

>It's ok to bang dudes if you can't get pussy.
I have bad news, buddy.

>6'3
>muscular
>attractive bone structure
>shitloads of acne so i avoid all human interaction

Im never really very horny. My wife wants it all the time. I'm just not that interested. Even porn doesn't really do anything for me. Even watching my wife eat pussy doesn't do much. I think i have low libido or something. I mostly just wanna chill. Idk. I think I'm broken.

Ever went to a doctor?
They have treatment for that shit.
If it's severe, hormone therapy is the way to go.
No matter how bad your acne is, there are ways to at least diminish it.

It's only OK if all parties are consenting (which I doubt is always the case in prison) but it's still gay bruh. Only closet homosexual prison rapists and other retards believe otherwise, internet friend.

Don't beat yourself up over it.
It's as you say: low libido.
That's not an illness. It's simply varying from person to person.
If you relationship truely suffers from it, get prescription meds.
No biggie.

Cut sugar out of your diet completely, avoid anything else that might contain or make your body produce estrogen, and start working our if you're not already.
You might just have a hormonal imbalance, easy fix with proper diet and exercise.

Yeah dude, I've had buddies who struggled with having a pizza face for a long time and while most people never really cared, it bothered him a lot.
He went to the doc and homeboy put him on low doses of antibiotics or something to that effect and it got rid of 99% of his problems.

It might be a pain to get out and go see the doc over something like that and find something that works for you but if it bothers you then i'm sure it'll be worth it. :^)

Avoid soy products like the plague, they're notorious for causing the human body to produce more estrogen.

some people smoke weed because it relieves anxiety, but did you know that it can also cause anxiety

I'm afraid to date girls because the size of my dick

Damn, thanks guys. First time i ever felt better after posting to Cred Forums lol.

Don't be ashamed of your micropeenus

...

I mean, if i'm high at work or some shit i'm sure i'll be anxious. Same as if I showed up to work after downing a fifth of KT or some shit.

Or are you referring to anxiety that is induced post-high by the consumption of weed?

it's not micro, thank god, but it's not massive, which is what I'm upset about

low self esteem + lots of porn = insecurities

Seriously bro avoid sugar for a few months, no soda, dessert, all that stuff. I did this and it actually improved my sex drive and I feel like I'm producing more testosterone (I feel more assertive, dominant, increased libido, etc.)

I'm more aroused by women with dicks than I am by pussy. I often dream about being in a relationship with a trap.

>gain massive anxiety from chest pains
>doc says everything alright
>coping by accepting death from heart attack at any moment
>makes me incredibly depressed
>lonely as fuck, can't really connect with people

Life is shit, could be worse tho I suppose

In all honesty user, mine is like 6 1/2" max, it's more about getting to that point, wits, charm, all that. Once you're both naked I doubt many girls will have a stereotypical "oh no it's too small blah blah" reaction you hear about on those "how can wyte bois compete" bait threads.

This user knows what he's talking about

honestly, it's an even 5" but average is like 5.5"
I'm just afraid of disappointing a girl in bed, not being good enough and not having the lengt to compensate, ya know?

but thanks for replying

oh man ..... you got the gay

This is probably the most pathetic thing I've read on here.

>upgrade my status to pursue women

You are in for a world of hurt, better find a small dicked boyfriend, atleast you'll have easy pickings.

I actually started a low carb regimen just to lose about 20 lbs.

Your first sex will probably suck anyway.
I'm the same size and it held me back all my life, stuff your small dick in them and feel good about yourself, sex is not the end game of the world.

Just know that you're a huge fucking faggot and you're good fam :^)

Research Tongkat Ali.

You're more of a faggot than OP

thanks man.. I guess Cred Forums ain't all that bad

i still miss my ex from 3 years ago and i can't hold a serious relationship because of it, i thought i would get over her after being with others but i just miss her even more.

that when i am happy to not be in a relationship
can't have to forget them they dosen't exist :)

how old are you?

Lonely as fuck.
Still confused about sexuality because have been in an all girls school since ever.
Almost 18, virgin. (it's really that weird?)
Waste all life time in books, music And films.
Finds almost 70% people have know dumb and hates it because wants more social interaction but unintentionally have brain cancer when some open their mouth.
Praying for not develop depression.

Sauce

>so desperate to fulfill sexual needs, almost willing to meet up with 50 year old men for gay sex
>have before

reaaaaaaaaaaaaally hope this is bait and there aren't actually people out there that think similar to this.. but that would explain a lot in the world.

right there with ya fam

>vacuum cleaner noises for hours a day
Kek

>>so desperate to fulfill sexual needs, almost willing to meet up with 50 year old men for gay sex
Couldn't that also solve your money problems?

I like the way you think

>had gay experiences with best friend at young age
> dated plenty of girls since then
>good looks, seriously narcissistic, fapped to myself when high once
>question sexuality occasionally
>dating a girl for 6 months and I think I'm growing to hate her

Those aren't women and you are gay. There are males and females, and youre either straight or gay. Everything else is made up to make people feel good about themselves. You're a male, you like men. You're gay, own that shit bro.

Are you me

Why don't you just sell yourself on Craigslist to old men

I have a real substance abuse problem but I joke about it sarcastically so my friends don't think I actually have one.

Interesting. You good, I did it too and I wasn't even high. Who doesn't. Broke up with her.

Thanks fam, been weirded out about it since. Yeah, I probably will lol

If you want look for help until is too late.

Have you tried sucking dick

>Having sex to please someone other than yourself

I like to think we're all gonna fuckin' make it brahs, but shit like this makes me skeptical.

my dog died today & I cried like a little bitch.

No problem with that

I would cry like a little bitch too

>6.2
>210 pounds, lift weights and exercise every day
>have severe social anxiety and agoraphobia
>haven't left the house for years
>haven't talked to anyone for years other than the guy that delivers food to house once a week and that's only hello and thank you
>no friends or family, just my dog
>virgin
>32

Could be worse bro.

And a man liking this is straight, right?

Not the guy u replied to

For increased sex drive : cutting out sugar has nothing to do with ups or downs of testosterone level (no causality between both and most studies - if there is a causality - blame it on the fact that super fat super sugar consumers have low test due to lifestyle; not sugar itself)

What does help to increase test (naturally):
1. Exercise a few times a week, be physically active;
2. Don't do low carb, it's a meme diet. Ketosis (other name for it) is bad for your body. Eat 300-500 calories under maintenance if you really want to have an effect that you and your wife will notice. Add carb cycle to this cutting diet and ggwp (consume carbs (oats for example) in morning, consume carbs (white rice for example) before physical activity. For the rest: avoid carbs).

Healthy diet and physical activity helps most to increase test, i.e. 1+2. If you still feel low test (no gains, gyno rhino, fat, shitty body hair (latter is mostly genetically determined but can be influenced by test)) you should see a doctor.

Make an appointment to check test levels and (what I assume is correct if your libido doesn't change after #1) hop on TRT.

If you won't, your wife will cuck you buddy

Source: ex royal marine, now participating in nationals powerlifting

>lonely as fuck
>female
>dubs
just my type

bro...

>5'10
>good lookinh
>muscular
>drive nice car
>make decent money
>have fat annoying gf that I date because I feel sorry for her and she gives me money to stay with her even though she doesn't make me happy

Thanks for all that info. I'll put it into action. For the record, my wife will never cuck me. We have a great relationship. Thanks again

>sick cunt detected
We will all make it brah, even the little shit cunts. Time will tell. But in the meantime, you can't just sit on your ass. Actually put forth the effort! Fuark!

So tru

I feel like my dick is small too you just gotta know how to use it user
>Cred Forums
But seriously if your tongue game is good, bitches shouldn't mind.

this sick cunt inspired me to quit being a sad cunt, shed some weight and get ripped. lost 20lbs so far and working on Stronglifts 5x5. I'm admittedly weak as faurk, but I push through that shit cause that's what he'd want

>get lots of sleep
>drink lots of water
>wash your face everyday, once in the morning once at night
Maybe even use like a cream or somethin. Just my two cents

Saluted brah. It's the spirit of Zyzz

Alright mate, I just saw enough bro science for today and I've heard enough sad cucking stories so I do everything I can to prevent one more possible cuck from being created.

Have a nice night, I'm going to sleep.

bro that's still pretty fuckin gay

Lol thanks dude. Yeah i don't get the whole cucking thing

>>so desperate to fulfill sexual needs, almost willing to meet up with 50 year old men for gay sex

Cute dog.

i look like this guy with my shirt off

27
virgin

This is me except:
>Be 38
>Be dad to 2 y.o.
>Be 300 lbs
>Convinced im going to die and it makes me so depressed and anxious

what does sociosisfag mean?

im not new ive been here since "long cat is long"

6'1
6 inch dick
skinny fat
worried about my visa.
hate being black, i will never be able to look normal to white people.
virgin at 22.

I know the feel man. I just try and do super active things and when I survive I like to say I am not doing xyz. It is pretty comforting

scoliosis is a disease of the spine.
his spine is curved sideways.

t. also scoliosisfag

underage b&

youre a fucking mage

...

how do you monies?

then get dieting and change it

do you want your kid to tell other kids at school he has no dad cause he died after having a cardiac arrest?

I have been around Cred Forums since I was like 13, too late for that now.
Anyways my bd is like in 10 days.

Every try legal drugs? Paxil helps with social anxiety.

it would be so funny if you got permabanned in this thread then

Yes.

I'm 27 years old and I was a virgin till last year. I met a mtf trans girl while gaming on steam, started having lewd chats with her, find out she's in a sexless relationship with her boyfriend and desparately wants someone to fuck her ass. I oblige and drive 600 miles to secretly meet her while she's away from bf visiting her parents. She lies to bf and parents so we can arrange 2 nights together in a hotel. I lose my virginity inside a trap's ass. I visited her one more time and we got to spend two whole weeks together. That was about a year ago and I haven't had sex since. Also, I fell in love with her even though she still wants to make her relationship with bf work :/

cuked by a fuckboi

Don't worry, user.

A dude with an average or bigger dick who thinks that's the only requirement to satisfy a woman is way less desirable than a man with an average or smaller dick who actually puts forth effort to get her off.

Fuck it, this will be cathartic

>35 yrs old and browse Cred Forums
>been in relationship for 12 years
>fiancee works hard
>I dont.
>Been addicted to opiate analgesics for 12 years
>been addicted to sleeping (15mg zopiclone per night) tablets for about the same
>bully doctors in bongland into prescribing me strong painkillers because fuck it why not
>eat strong painkillers every morning before taking my kids to school
>look younger than I am and have lied about my age to fuck dumb stupid drunk 17 year old sluts on occasion.
>smoke too much weed but enjoy it too much to quit
>am extremely right leaning so have to hide my degenerate addictions lest be branded a hypocrite
>come from fairly well off family but have not lived up to my potential, instead being a lazy and hedonistic cunt.
>have literally no excuse because had really good upper middle class childhood with strong family unit and everything given to me.
>only real talents are manipulating women to do what I want and painting miniatures
>degraded an ex of mine and fucked her up by making her do pervy shit to the point she became a fucking feminist sjw type after we split up
>spend more money on drugs and warhammer 40k for myself than I do on my own fiancee & kids
>sometimes when my fiancee is asleep on her front I creep into the bedroom, pull down her pyjama pants and fuck her while she is asleep, then leave her with pants round her ankles and all cum dripping out of her
>I once pissed in a cup of coffee I made her because she annoyed me.
>I once put chocolate between her arse cheeks while she was asleep then fooled her into thinking shes shit herself
>sometimes treat my fiancee like shit because she got chubby after having kids & I still want to muh dick teenagers
>turn into a violent cunt when I drink

Scoliosis is a spinal deformity which causes your spine to curve into an S shape (severity differs between individuals).

Well, I did have sex with "her" and the bf is the one providing food and shelter, so I kinda cucked him.

People in this thread are reaaaalll losers lol, the type of people who you would lift your top lip UpTo.

the reverse secret cuck

Just shut your fucking face.

... Sorry, do what? That sounds like some kind of old school Shakespeare insult there.

You are in a /b Cred Forums thread and wasting your time with a comment that will disapear of people's memories probably in less than a day.
You are already a loser too.

no you suck my cock

>good job
>pretend I have a normal live with co-workers
>actually can't stand being touched
>have to cut my own hair
>have a dentist willing to knock me the fuck out to work on my teeth
>haven't had sex in ten years because I can't stand being touched
>all I do when I'm not working is run/hike, fuck around on the internet, and get drunk.
I don't know what the hell is wrong with me but I am content.

>ITT: Things you are too embarrassed to admit to anyone but anonymous

>5"0 manlet

To whom would you admit that? I'm pretty sure everyone but this 'anonymous' knows that on sight.

>actually can't stand being touched
Relatable.
You have it nice anyways, if you are happy stay in the comfort zone.

I mean... I guess as long as you're taking care of yourself and you're not distressed by the lack of contact, it's not really a problem. It is odd, though.

What do you feel when you're touched? Anxiety? Disgust? Physical discomfort?

>attractive bone structure

>No friends and no gf
>People seems to assume I'm completely normal and ask me about both
>Have to bullshit a story each time

What do Cred Forums?

I havent been sober at work a single day for the past 6 years and nobody has ever noticed or said anything about it.
Now works offering me a raise and the chance to move overseas. The shit part is that its a country with prohibition in effect.
I'm terrified of taking the offer

i only make ~1000 USD per month and im a lvl 30 wizard

What's the matter, user? Why drink so much?

if you find a dick attractive you're gay, don't fool yourself. sure the dickgirl has a female body and may act like a girl. you still want to reach around and touch a dick

I have a FWB and he's a bit of a masochist (enough to satisfy my desire to hurt someone, i.e. I don't have any need to injure people, just cause pain). When we're having sex or foreplay, and I dig my nails into his back, I imagine ripping his muscles from his body and it damn near makes me cum.

I literally work everyday for the past 3 months, because management won't fucking hire anyone.
I come home tired as fuck and go straight to bed, wake up and get a shower and browse Cred Forums and other sites for a couple hours. Go back to fucking work. My diet consists of whatever is in the vending machine. Even when I did have days off it was miserable because I was never off when family were and have no friends because being single and 35 sucks. Financially, I've slowly been saving for a vacation and getting by. I just feel alone, depressed and sometimes when I drive to work I imagine myself just hitting 100mph and turn into a tree to end it all.

>I'm terrified of taking the offer
if you actually like to drink just dont take the offer. prioritize what makes you happy.

but if you drink because of reasons maybe you can take this as an opportunity to change stuff for the better?

Can't stand being around people. Their voices annoy me, them bumping into me pisses me off, even I fucking hate the way people smell.
The only times I'm sober are the times I'm at home.

Try and get a new job, or talk to management.
Move somewhere else.

Oh, okay. I understand. I love you.

sue sue sue bro , unnecessary work place stress if it effects your life out side of work to the point you stop eating and have thoughts of harming yourself or others that is basis for about $5500 easy

I like girl butts

Is that weird?

Lowcarb=\=keto

Thanks
A lot of it is anxiety. I used to love going going to barber shops and getting shaves, massages, Asian women shampooing my hair, etc. The last few times I tried to just get a haircut I panicked as soon as that cape gets strapped on. I travel for business, so I end up at a lot of places with my co-workers where the waitress isn't dumb and she knows we are going to tip a lot. Attractive women will touch me in a pretty innocent way and it makes my skin crawl. I don't know why.

To add to this, I feel like I can't fucking let go when having a conversation with anyone. The only person I can do this with is my mom, but it feels like everyone else puts me in this weird situation where I'm not normal, and I don't know what to do.

Would LSD help? I have no clue what my problem is, but I just can't talk to people normally. I used to, but not anymore.

I've had drunk sex with my girlfriends doughter once

Gabriel?

>spit out blood on a semi regular basis
>tell friends but I've the sort of personality that makes people think I'm always joking or I'm being sarcastic
>don't wanna tell parents because they will ridicule me, tell I'm just imagining things, say it's my fault and they will never look at me the same way again
Could go to a doctor and get it checked out, but I think at this point I'd rather not know if it is what I think it is. Knowing would just confirm a countdown for me, that scares me, not knowing is fine

Are you asking the doughters name?

Yours, but that's an interesting response in and of itself...

get a diagnosis user, you could fix yourself

probably a peptic ulcer. Can be fixed with tablets. Dont be a faggot - see the doctor.

quit dairy

not the other guy but the high gives me anxiety
used to smoke a 20 bag a day for about 4 years and be absolutely fine and then one day it just switched and every time I got high I'd think I was having a stroke or something and get a massive panic attack
haven't touched the stuff for a year now and much better off

what if it's more serious than that? I can't afford treatment, neither can my parents. It would be devastating for all of us to just watch it happen and being helpless. Besides, if it ends up killing me then at least it'll happen before I can react, knowing will just make me anxious for however long I'd have left

I was in love with my ex up until i cheated on her and ever since then ive been making girls fall in love with me just to leave them so i feel good about how fucking miserable i am. I tried to kill myself last week but failed. Im not even in a bad place i have everything anyone could ask for basically. And according to the women im extremely attractive

I still can't get over her.

you won't just suddenly drop dead if it's something more serious. it'll get a lot worse and a lot more painful. at the very least a diagnosis would mean you could get meds and shit to ease the pain

The kinds of things that make you cough up blood for a long period of time will kill you slowly and probably painfully. Unless it's something dumb like the peptic ulcer the other user mentioned, although that'll be perpetually unpleasant.

Better to know, surely?

>Im 19 y.o
>Pedo sick fuck, tons of cp on harddrive
>Kissless virgin

No job i go to college but i lie to my parents about how good in doing when im not even going

No friends

You sound like a real wanker.

kill yourself

No, symptoms will get worse, you wont be able to hide it, youre gonna end going to the hospital. Then if its bad theyre gonna do tests and your anxiety will be a hundred times worse. Assuming its something like cancer theyll have you and your parents sit down and tell you youre fucked. Youre gonna regret it alot. Just show your parents next time it happens.

Cenk from the young turks?
Fat brown buffalo

I always think on killing myself before i fall asleep

My name isn't Gabriel

>Refused to go with 2 friends to watch a movie yesterday
>Afraid he would invite somebody else because social anxiety
>He actually did it
>Crisis avoided

>Not so much being type 2 bipolar
>Having a heavy sexual appetite that comes with it
>Only girl I fucked was a whore with a huge vag for 5 mins (not satisfying at all)
>pedo (anywhere 6-60)
>Enjoy talking but I don't want to visit anyone or go anywhere
>Wish for death by aneurysm possibly at 60
>I can't get girls (should be obvious by now)
>Barely middle-aged and work at fast food restaurant
>Don't know where I'm going in life
>Lost interest in doing anything but sitting on my computer
>Find eating as a necessary chore to live, not an indulgence
>stopped playing games for the last 6 months and been looking at porn the entire time instead
>Am a wasted soul

I'm pretty sure that's exactly what he would say in this situation.

this

You sound like a real asshole. I think you'll find one day that karma is a bitch. Not that I give a shit about your wife or kids lol, but good luck..

You should probably go cold turkey with that porn

...

JUST DO IT
DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT

I know this sounds super whiny; but im too fucking anxious and depressed to do anything; im frozen in place.

You're an Ass Man.

Welcome to the club, brother.

Research "not falling for stupid Dr. Oz level scams"

>It made me happy to some degree that my father died

You qualify to turn into a sissy. Do it and the reward shall be great.

Kira Yoshikage just wants a quiet life

You need therapy; im a lot like you.
You were coddled too much as a child and not forced to grow up; so now youre a self involved narcicist with peterpan syndrome.

Counseling.
Its whats for dinner.

21 yr old 5'11" prince charming here, except with crippling depression. I have a job, I go to school, i work out, green eyes, 7/10 on average day, humble as fuck, good manners, comedic personality (when in public), 7.5inch cock too

thing is, ive never had a girlfriend in my life, and the only woman I've had sex with is an escort. I honestly dont understand why women arent attracted to me, as of recently I've been severely depressed because of it, and I even cried for the first time in my adulthood ever. I dont know how much longer i can put up with this

fuck i even tried tinder, girl ive been going out with isnt even interested in me anymore and makes me feel like a bigger piece of shit, i seriously think I'm either cursed or im just meeting all the shitty women in my town

somebody gief a Cred Forumstard some advic3 plox

>humble as fuck...
youre delusional.

If you want to think that's my name then go ahead I don't care

youre not as charming as you think you are.
Youre obviously a bad judge of your own character.

Wow, DJ Khaleed.. you've fallen far.

The salamander sings on Sundays. He knows not the struggles of perestroika.

This. Get some self awareness homie.

yup, exactly the same here, but it was 7 years.

My sister tryed to do that to me. I just put a finger between my legs and she thought it was my dick.

Is that some kind of code word lol

lol you sound like that half asian fuck who did a school shootin or whatever like a year ago.

...

It gets better, I promise

>Jack off to traps and gay porn (no homo)
>Play Pokémon TCG online for hours every day
>Usually go to bed around 5 AM, wake up around 2:30 PM
>Have a small penis
>Have no idea what to do with my life
>Spend close to a $1000 on on home delivery in the last few months