Best of Cred Forums thread

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sure ill dump some

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favorite chiller thriller killer

>live in Tolerance Zone #65
>be nu-trans fourth trimester transsensual Angst Profile ZETA-8 genderqueer pseudo-dyke reformed lesbiophilic heteromollusc
>see cis white male at the zoo
>ask "mommies, what's that?"
>they don't know
>Genderless Polyamorous Parental Unit #2 takes me into a Safe Zone and engages the Feelings Shield
>tells me that it is a monster from the beforetime
>tells me not to be scared, because the monsters' penisocracy was smashed by the forces of the LBJQGTA5 Coalition in the Patriarchy Wars
>start to cry
>s/he opens his and/or her rainbow mesh vest and retrieves an estrogen pill to cheer me up
>feeling the calming femininity wash over me
>s/he tells me that the monsters aren't allowed to hurt anyone anymore, only to work, to support our glorious society
>throw Privilege Peanuts at him
>everyone laughs
>take some soma
>go home and read some consensus-approved feelings-safe literature
>mfw

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>Decide to go on holiday to America
>plane lands at JFK airport
>all the American passengers start clapping as the plane comes to a stop
>GOOD JAAAB, GOOD JAAAB CLAPCLAPCLAP
>Hamburgers start falling out of the overhead compartments
>American passengers start paying tips to the other passengers based on their in-flight performance
>clapping intensifies
>fireworks and streamers burst everywhere
>Fuck this, quickly make my way to the exit of the plane
>other americans also making way to exit
>they see the captain
>"GOOD JAAAB, YOU WERE GREAT, AMAZING FLIGHT SIR, GOOD JAAAAAB"
>enter the terminal building
>hamburger music starts playing
>greeted by immigration officer
>he already knows my name, age, address and the exact time (to the second) i took my last shit because NSA
>still hear faint clapping and screams of "good jaaaab" coming from down the other way
>the immigration officer says i need a cavity search
>he sticks his fat sausage fingers into my arse
>im in so much pain, his fingers are easily as girthy as a pringles tin
>OK SIR, GOOD JAAAB WE'RE ALL CLEAR HERE
>hands me a 20% tip
>walk out of the cavity search room and are greeted to a round of applause from a group of overweight americlaps
>GOOOOOOOOD JAAAAAAB
>mfw

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This will never happen again

> I was in that thread

sad but true...also this

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1/6

2/6

3/6

4/6

Same

5/6

6/6 oc btw

I think I lost even though this isn't a YLYL

Reminds me of this

I probably would've done something similar in that situation hahah

I swear I was in that thread

%triforce

Gay^niggers
~~Fuck~~

my job here is done

newfag

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1/2

%triforce

kek

2/2