Court is now in session, counselors please present your opening statements

Court is now in session, counselors please present your opening statements.

Ladies and gentlemen of the court, today I come to ask you leniency for my client. Sure we have him on video double fisting his ass in a walmart, but... cmonnnnn... you aren't a loser are you? I'm sure you'll come back with a not guilty verdict.

That's great, it starts with an earthquake
Birds and snakes, an aeroplane, and Lenny Bruce is not afraid

Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn
World serves its own needs, don't misserve your own needs
Feed it up a knock, speed, grunt, no, strength
The ladder starts to clatter with a fear of height, down, height
Wire in a fire, represent the seven games
And a government for hire and a combat site
Left her, wasn't coming in a hurry with the Furies breathing down your neck

Team by team, reporters baffled, trumped, tethered, cropped
Look at that low plane, fine, then
Uh-oh, overflow, population, common group
But it'll do, save yourself, serve yourself
World serves its own needs, listen to your heart bleed
Tell me with the Rapture and the reverent in the right, right
You vitriolic, patriotic, slam fight, bright light
Feeling pretty psyched

It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine

Six o'clock, TV hour, don't get caught in foreign tower
Slash and burn, return, listen to yourself churn
Lock him in uniform, book burning, bloodletting
Every motive escalate, automotive incinerate
Light a candle, light a motive, step down, step down
Watch your heel crush, crush, uh-oh
This means no fear, cavalier, renegade and steering clear
A tournament, a tournament, a tournament of lies
Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives, and I decline

It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine
I feel fine

The other night I dreamt a nice continental drift divide
Mountains sit in a line, Leonard Bernstein
Leonid Brezhnev, Lenny Bruce, and Lester Bangs
Birthday party, cheesecake, jellybean, boom
You symbiotic, patriotic, slam but neck, right? Right

It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine

OP is a faggot, Case Closed

Op is a faggot.

One more outburst like that and I'll find you in contempt.

Be that as it may.... cmoooonnnnn

sometimes I think people like this are feminazi's who are wholistically devoted to trying to destroy any fun or entertainment on this website for the sole purpose of slowly trivializing the political concepts that have been prominent on this board and website. By destroying anything that could turn into a great thread they remove any fun from the website and thus remove and encouragement for people to congregate here. This would ultimately result in one less place that free ideas and thought can be passed around without moderation so that they left can push and pursue its political agenda without any opposition.

TL;DR

on these grounds I'd like to hereby hold these two defendants in violation of the first constitutional amendment and hereby seek justice for society at large.

it's three lines of text faggot. Is Your attention span limited to trap threads?

Will the defense be making any further notion to dismiss?

Order! You're on a very short leash, counselor, I suggest you stay on track.

sorry your honor. I just wanted to make sure all parties were focused on the subject material of our court session today.

frivolous allegations!

Tech support, feral army
In a cave on a failed bit of terraforming

4 corners of paranormal
Get shorn for a thermos and pair of thermals
In the warehouse air where his dairy curdles
St. Vincent de Paul trying to square the circle
Circle the source of his power
Foresight born at the corner of Howard on sale
Cherry pick blue in the pale
It's a blue-nose chewin' his tail
Losing his coat
Schmoozing a high and head-rush
Hack up bile over H1N1, and then some
One eye on the breadcrumbs
Other eye on the Drencrom
Other other eye on the income
Good knife and a grin
Shoot dice with the lice and the ring worms
Peg leg, smells like Medellin wake in the night
Make a pipe out of anything
Take 5, take a dive in the cellophane
Turn 5 into 5 6 7 8
Back out, black out somewhere fancy
Shaped like the backseat of Aesop's Camry
Dude... seat full of chips and sandwich meat from the crypt
In the end, if you give an address in a river of piss
Don't question the mystery fish
Just picture shrimp on a pillow of grits
Close your eyes, lick your lips
I'm at the cafe ordering a cup of fresh
Sarah gave me 2, I gave one to Rex
He said, "Fools ain't shit plus fuck the pigs
They could never understand what Sumner is"

OP is a faggot

The jury will disregard this statement.

The court finds you in contempt, you are hereby sentenced 10 days confinement.

Today I will prove without a doubt that the accused you see before you is 3 kids in a trenchcoat and absolutely double fisted his ass in a walmart.

His DNAs are all over the scene including in this can of juice and on this bag of skittles.

I will show over and over that not only is this 3 kids in a trenchcoat a sexual offender but also 3 kids in a trenchcoat.

I'd like to call my first witness: Sasha Grey!

You may proceed counselor.

Thank you your honour. Now miss Grey. Could you tell us what kind of act is being shown on the television on the screen right now?

Counsel: Ms Grey, Please discribe what you saw on the day in question.

Grey: I was in walmart and there was this kids head sticking out of a trenchcoat and inside the trench coat there was distinct back and forth action. I moved closer and the front was undpone. The head sticking out the top belonged to a young boy that had two little girls fisting his asshole. It made me a little wet.

Shit forgot my top notch image for this.

>random squirrel is discovered hiding under the prosecutor's bench

And being in your kind of profession you would consider yourself an expert at recognizing anal fisting?

Indeed. It was pretty savage.

What profession would that be?

I OBJECT!

Objection! There is clearly no proof that the defendant was indeed three kids in a trench coat, or that his anus was penetrated by two fists, his own or otherwise. The video was clearly doctored. My client is being framed!

> Walks over to accused.
>Opens coat.
>Three children, 1 boy, 2 girls
Is that so counsel?

fuck you balding ass faggot

Y...your Honor, the defendant would like to motion for recess.

This is a weird thread

You're right.. Better get back to the nearest trap thread

DASSSSS RIGHT BOI!
I GOT YO BITCH ASS ON THE BACK FOOT!

ORDER! The children will retire to my antechamber and the court will adjourn for recess until further instruction.
>unzips

I never said it was bad I meant it was random. I've learned to ignore the trap and boxxy threads

Right, I left after I posted and you guys ran with it pretty well

I sue drunks
I'm Jim Shapiro
The tough, smart lawyer
For the victims they hurt
For the survivers of those they killed
I hunt them down
And I wring out every single dollar
No matter how long it takes
If a drunk has wrecked your life
Call for a free appointment
Jim Shapiro

...

Your honour, I'd like to call in my next witness. An expert on children Michael Jackson!

Proceed, counselor.

There is not a court in Heaven or Earth where Horace Rumpole is not ready and willing to appear. On the Day of Judgment I shall probably be up on my hind legs putting a few impertinent questions to the prosecution.

You don't like trap threads and traps on general?

Oh god i hate court, id rather suck my own wonk

I have a structured settlement and I need cash now.
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he he. I like this court session. But I do think that they are not in the wrong. hehe

Mr Jackson, as a known conisour of children, you would certainly know what one looks like. Would you say that the accused is in fact 3 kids in a trenchcoat?

I dindt know she was 12

a man arises from the jury

"LOOK HERE YOU COMMIE BASTARDS, RETURN MY CHILDREN AND LETS US WALK FREE AND NO ONE GETS HURT!"

They're deplorable

Jesus christ, everyone get down he has a gun!

"DID I SAY YOU COULD TALK?!"
Man shoots the fag in the head.

Objection. Your Honor, the evidence provided in the video is questionable at best. It is not clear how many fists are in his ass at once. This may have been a different group of children in a trench coat.

Mr. Crazy Jury Man please excuse me for my replying to you. I am not mean to offend. How is it that you are wanting your children back?

But the communists were famous for not having trails and straight killing their opposition. If you wish to stand for freedom, you should allow this trail, no?

"I RIGHTFULLY TOOK CUSTODY OF THESE 3 CHILDREN WHEN THAT GIRL TRADED ME FOR THOSE BUS TICKETS! IA M THEIR LEGAL GUARDIAN!"

I GOT THIS GUYS!
HANDS UP AND I WONT SHOOT!

Sorry image.

I'm Jim Shapiro
The tough, smart lawyer
I'm hard nosed; hard boiled; hard hitting
I'll hunt down whoever hurt you and settle the score
I'll get you every dollar possible, as fast as possible
Every single dollar
Call and I'll talk to you free
Remember, they started it, I'll finish it
Jim Shapiro

I don't think so kiddo this is a robbery, give me your wallet.

Now hold on there son, how could you possibly have traded bus tickets for children with a girl if you're too much of a faggot to even talk to a girl?

DONT BE A HERO JEFFERY! - Jeffery's Wife

SWAT team on site, waiting for orders to breach.

I am being sorry for hearing your misfortunes Mr. Crazy Jury Man. Are you having proofs of what you say? I am not questioning you Mister. Understand please that I am thinking we need to show a proof of what you say. I am saying this because I am wanting to help you.

Your honor in the case entitled "State of Cred Forums V. Reginald "Pepe" Frog" docket number 704308888
The State wishes to prove the Mr. Pepe, dispite having faithfully served the community for many years, has become too main stream and all around basic for the state. We feel the evidence available is enough to convict Mr. Pepe of 1 count of basic bitchery, 4 counts of main stream usage, and myriad of lesser charges to include; cuckery, faggotry, and general niggerings.
We hope the court will agree with our findings and see fit to convict Mr. Pepe and exile him from our community until such time that his status is once again congruent with the states status quo.
Thank you.

GO GO GO

You mean like Cred Forums pre 2010 before the fappening, the ratemy face/dick/tits/ass/ex/sister, the million fap and porn threads per day and the faggot mods?
Yeah i agree, so weird.

OBJECTION!!!

There is a long standing legal precedent of OP in deed being a faggot