So Cred Forumsrothers, how to I politely wake her up and kick her out?

Start playing with her ass and tell her it's time for your favorite morning anal.

scream "FIREEEEE!!!"

Tap shoulder, tell her you have to go to work or have an appointment etc, can't be late, time to go. Or pull a gun on her. Your choice

hivemind

Wake her up and tell her you had breakfast plans with your mother

actually, this.

Tell her to get out quick, your wife's on her way home.

Show us her ass and face

>how to I politely wake her up and kick her out?
Yell "Your husband's at the door!"

Ha. Check them trips bitches

inb4 rape

Stop creeping into your mums room you fucking cretin

This is now a get thread, check my dubs.

All of the eggs.

Dressed. You didn't get any.

>ask her if she's okay
>"you don't have to tell me what happened, but you do have to eat this" as you hand her a bowl of eggs
>ask if she needs a ride home
>tell her to take care

nice dubs XDDDDDD

...

Hivemind

dubs get

>not knowing how to kick someone out of your house because you've never had sex before

Most reasonable response. Just start getting dressed loudly. When she wakes up, say you have an appointment or whatever. Its Sunday. Do you work on Sundays?

Also more creepshots

Get back in bed. Get boner. Poke her with it. If she's cool you get laid again. If not tell her she's got to go.

congratz m8

...

I just woke up and im still half asleep. No joke, i glanced at that picture and thought it was a fat dude in a grey shirt and khaki shorts. Also looked like he was sporting some form of a fanny pack with his nuts falling out.
>I need a cup of coffee.

This or suck your dick if she wants to leave alive.

33 get

Fuck her, then say you gotta get ready for work

66

Smack her in the face with your dick and say "cock a doodle doo, this rooster is telling you its time to get up and get the fuck out of my house"

This, tip some fried eggs on the back of her head.

same lmao

yeah i thought this was a flashing thread at first glance

this

Check these!

gtfo "XDDDDD"

Y haven't we nudes yet? U a faggot or something?

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Rollin for this 1 funniest shit so far

I'm going with this plan. Or the force feeding of eggs.

Tell her your psychotic girlfriend is on the way over

I use this, set your alarm to sound in two minutes. You say out loud: Shit! I'm late! and tell her to dress quickly. Say it's you uncle funeral.
Go out with her and say: fuck, have to go to the bathroom. I'll be back in 15 minutes, you better go. I'll give you a call.

And winnar!!!

I thought the same, but imma need another cig

Get a funnel or some sort of tube next boil some water or any liquid of choice then take funnel or tube and shove it in her poop cutter. Massage her nipples while humming the office theme song to get her moistened ballon knot pulsating. You're going to have to make room for the boiling water so first suck up some of her shit through the straw.
Once this is complete you're going to have to dump the boiling liquid in as fast as possible. This should get her out of your house

take a picture of her ass

>no timestamp

Are you even trying OP?

Winnar!

leave the room, go get shower or something but slam a door as you do so she wakes up and gathers herself before seeing you. go back in afterwards with a coffee

lets see if your choice was really so bad.
lift the sheets and we'll see.
for now i'd say she's ok

Don't do this, yell "My husband's home you have to leave, get in the closet" then burn the house down

Fart on her

Start cooking something with bacon, the smell will wake her up, when she walks towards you directly or indirectly tell her you want something serious. That will do, you welcome my friend.

landwhale

Why would you need to be polite about it

dubs of truth

I kek'd

Leave cab/uber fare. Tell her you got shit to do, and she should lock up. Then just leave. She'll think you're a big adult with important shit. And also shell fuck off

Hey where did my tv and xbox go?

lost

winrar

WHY XDDD

I hooked up with one chick who ended up camping out at my place all weekend.
Brought her home friday night, fucked her. Woke up saturday morning, shes still asleep thought id be nice and let her sleep a bit.more. bitch sleeps all fucking day, wakes up at 5 pm and wants to fuck. Repeat this for sunday snd she was not leaving. Told her i had to meet a friend for lunch and left the house with her. Walked around the block and went back home

Shit the bed, smear some on her ass, lay down and scream what the fuck

not going to lie, I thought that was a picture of a guy's nuts hanging out of his pants. I thought the blanket was his shirt and the pillows/sheets were his pants, and the girl's arms/shoulders were his nutsack.

why did this guy disappear... I missed him so much.

'Hey, I hate to wake you but the fumigator a are going to arrive in the next 30mins. We both need to leave.

thank god it's not just me

Stab her dead
Throw corpse out window
Dance hard techno

>wake her up
>"please get the fuck out of my house, you fat cunt, if you'd be so kind"
>hold the door for her

OR buy a fumigation bomb let it out and as is going off tell her that kek

me too. what's our problem?

Uderrated post.

only reason I stopped scrolling

We all did, fam

derp

>make an awesome breakfast eggs bacon pancakes French toast fruit coffee juice
>she will wake up from the smell
>if not bang some pots and pans that will do the trick
>when she comes to the table give her a bottle of water (u don't wanna be inconsiderate) and tell her that it's breakfast time and you have to eat so she should make herself scarce
>if she looks confused use your fork to point her towards the nearest exit

...

I see you been around my friend

I had the opposite problem.
Woke up at a girls place, and she would not let me fucking leave.
Like bitch I'm hungover, I want to go home and watch terrible TV and eat garbage.

make her some fucking coffee tell her u have an appointment... make small talk, scuttle her out the door.

pic op?

time stamp!

How about you don't get yourself in this situation in the first place, you dirty little slut.

Wow, i though this pictures was of a man's crotch with his nut sack hanging out.

Was very confusing.

Psssttt...hey *tap tap tap on her shoulder* looks like a beautiful day outside, the fuck out you were a mistake

YOU HAVE TO EAT THIS!4!!!

If that doesn't work progress to. I think it's too soon for you to meet her. Backed up by I'm embarrassed to be seen with you in the light of day

Coffee!

Spectacular, it's always nice to see an artist at work

better.

LMFAO!!!! DOOOOOOOOO IIIIIT FAGGIIIITTT!!!!!

Take more pix op!!!!

See how far you can get.

Eventually she will wake up, be creeped out and go.

Post on /b. Winrar.