I fucked up Cred Forums

I fucked up Cred Forums
I ruined the only chance to ever have sex

>be me at community college
>have chem class with qt 3.14
>prof says we have to group up with 5 people through semester for projects and shit
>get into her group
>am the only male in group
>think nothing of it, ugliest one is 7/10
>we all hangout and shit is going great
>start talking/texting qt 3.14
>lets call her Angie
>me and Angie start hanging out a litle more
>after class we hang out in the quad or grab a bite to eat before going to our next classes
>one day mess around and tell her I'd like to have a romantic date with her
>"oh user thats a great idea!"
>ohshit.jpeg
>"awesome! where would you want to go?"
>"hmm. why dont you make me a romantic dinner?"
>fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.exe
>dont know how to cook and all the shit i make is cringeworthy
>"alright that sounds like a plan! lets try tomorrow."
>try and go on youtubes to figure what to make
>fanciest thing I can make is a decent grilled cheese with Kraft
>spaghetti carbonara? too hard
>lasagna? too hard and too long
>steak? too expensive
>get text from her
>"fyi my favorite food is pad thai ;)"
"dont know how to make it so decide to make it out of ramen
>go to local weeb store and try and find ramen
>pick 4 different kinds of ramens
>go home and decide to cook before Angie got home
>shit okay time to chef
>maybe I could make a creamy ramen
>I've watched enough chopped to put shit together
>start boiling ramen
>start with chicken pack
>gotta step it up
>add beef pack
>not too bad
>add the two remaining seafood packets cause it sounds good
>needs to have some cream so add 3 cups of heavy cream
>really liquidy so empty entire back of mexican blend cheese like 8oz
>kinda weird looking color but i know it needs peanuts
>get Skippy extra chunky peanut butter cause too cheap to get peanuts
>melt about 3 big spoon fulls in ramen
>alright we're ready

Cont.

Please cont.

You should have pre-typed this shit op

moar

Cont.
>10 min later Angie gets there
>she's dressed all skimpy with short skirt and hair done
>decide to watch a little tv before dinner
>cuddles up with me and start to get a little chub
>start to kiss that leads to making out
>me being proud of my Frankenstein of a dish ask to eat first
>put pot on the table and she gets really excited
>take off lid
>her smile was wiped clean
>get fork and spoon cause it looked fancy and place it into her bowl
>"wh..what is it user?"
>"It's pad thai!"
>pour her a glass of 3 dollar wine i saw at walmart
>she takes a little bit on her fork and smells it and could tell she was disgusted
>"Do you like it Angie?"
>takes one bite and could tell she hated it
>"we could always go out, I know I cant cook"
>"oh no its fine im just thirsty"
>downs her wine

Would have been easier to lasagna than all that bs

>takes another bit but was a forkful
>gags really bad and runs to the bathroom
>hear her through the door as shes puking her brains out
>"hey im sorry, we could order pizza and then have some sex?"
>opens the door and stares at me, grabs her purse and leaves
>next day
>no text back or call
>wait till monday to see her
>get cold shoulder
>all the other girls in group wont talk to me
>get told by prof im being moved to new group
>see that Angie is going out with better looking guy than me
>week later get a text with pic of Angie giving a bj to the guy
>"this is what happens when I get REAL pad thai"

I've been drinking heavily since Tuesday since then

...

>"hey im sorry, we could order pizza and then have some sex?"
Ya dun goofed

Shouldve told her straight away you didn't know how to cook OP.

>>"hey i'm sorry, we could order pizza and then have some sex?"
holy fucking shit, kek, i can't even

>"hey im sorry, we could order pizza and then have some sex?"
This is going down in Cred Forums history, let's never let this die Cred Forumsros!

Yeah, you fucked up bad.
But the picture was uncalled for

>"this is what happens when I get REAL pad thai"

Kys faggot. I kekked 2 hard.

Give us the picture and her name.

>texted you that picture
dodged a bullet dude but next time don't sperg out and be honest that you can't fucking cook

Post the picture you faggot

Well, you could have at least tried to make pad Thai, I'm sure she would have understood that better than your extreme fuck-up.

Yeah he dodged a fking pussy not a bullet.
Btw OP post a pic or i call it BS. you fucking faggot!

You deserve that user, she was a real trooper even trying it. Should have just cooked spaghetti and bought decent wine. Instead you sperged out, spilled your spaghetti instead of eated hers. Learn from your mistake onii-chan

lol literally every grocery store nowadays sells premade pad thai. you heat it up and pour the sauce in tard

No, the pic was absolutely called for

Seriously user, it's not fucking hard, buy some pots and pans, measuring cups, utensils, learn to follow basic instructions, simple shit. Out of all Asian style dishes, Pad Thai is fucking one of the easiest ones, not that much harder than Stir Fry really. Are you that autistic that you can't put some shit into a wok and mix it around until it is cooked? Really? Do you even know what a wok is?

I weep for my generation, cooking is fucking fun and rewarding. You make me sick OP.

Guess you should start a circlejerk. You're the best OP

What the actual fuck is wrong with American women, how do you put up with this degeneracy?

OP here, I deleted the pic out of drunken rage could send some pics of her though

With your attitude towards such disgusting, shameless women, praising them and encouraging them, I can only hope one day you find your girl getting fucked by a nigger you degeneracy apologist numale cuck

well do it then faggot

read the file name

Both of have them have unkind shit-eating grins so I could expect such a move from either of them tbh famalam

...

the ugly one

her most current dude

Left

>qt 3.14

And what do you look like?

What kind of shit-tier pussy do you fucking attract

BJ pic faggot no one gives a fuck about this fake shit

A generic betamale probably.
God, OP is so pathetic he couldn't even tell she was a slut just by looking at her.

How old are you?

Funny that, I won't ever be in that situation, as I know how to cook, if I had been OP, that lady would have been in my bed sucking my cock after we ate delicious Pad Thai that I made. I hope you aren't seriously suggesting that cooking is unmanly. That would be the most retarded thing uttered on this board. The only step above that would be hunting your food, cleaning the kill, and preparing it for supper. That my friend is fucking manly, you degenerate.

>She looks just like the avarage dumb cunt called stacy who desires Jamal's BBC

Seriousley OP, you can get better than THAT.
what are you, a virgin?

This

wow whath teh fuck i literally have no words, thats probably the biggest bitch known to man kind

OP again, currently 24, virgin

post that pic you drunk ass ramen eating bitchboy

I never said it's not manly you fucking idiot. I'm disgusted at how you say it's normal that this whore sent that picture. People enabling such degenerate behavior is bad for everyone who actually wants a decent woman who hasn't had 50 ONS cocks inside her. Although someone like you would probably be happy with degenerate gutter pussy.

>"hey im sorry, we could order pizza and then have some sex?"
This cant be real. My sides are gone.
Also include me in the screencap.

This.

OP is such a faggot for not being able to make this dish and even admitting to being lazy while doing it. You did a shitty job making the dish so you achieved shitty results. I am so glad our world purges the weak.

text her a pic of u fucking a girl and then show a margarita pizza in the background

so unoriginal with hair, flipping your hair to one side is so basic

This. How hard is it to learn how to cook something as basic as Pad Thai. It's not like she asked you to cook her a three-course meal OP, she asked you to whip together some Pad Thai you useless fuck. Even if you couldn't do that, you could have at least made something simple like spaghetti, garlic bread, and maybe a salad with your boxed wine. You could have still saved face with that bare minimum effort, instead you made her puke with your unholy attempt. You're lucky she didn't throw it in your face (literally).

You suck dude, learn how to fucking cook, it's not hard.

Someone should post that whole story on /ck/, for the lolz.

one more before I start get shit faced

>Forgetting pic related
Wew lad

his face looks like he has plastic surgery its all creasy

>this triggers /ck/

>OP in the mid
kek

saved

>"hey im sorry, we could order pizza and then have some sex?"

>see a long ass greentext
>stupid uneccesary shit lines
>cont. at the end
>fuck off this stupid shit thread

kill yourself

OP! You dodged a bullet. Girl like that, even if you dated her, would be sucking dicks behind your back. Not worth it, another shameless piece of shit. Find a nice girl you fucking faggot. Now go drown your sorrows in some drink and then move on to a girl that *hasn't* taken 100 cocks, just in her fucking ass.

Fuck off to your trap threads. We'll be here making fun of OP.

they look terrible, get something better OP, stop being a faggot.

>OP is that you in the middle?

What kind of bitch assumes that the average dude knows how to make pad thai?

Still, you're a fucking idiot for not telling her up front that you don't know how to cook OP. You probably wouldn't have gotten laid then either but you also wouldn't look like an ass.

Thanks OP, I'm keeping this forever.

Why didn't you buy Chinese food and said you maid it you cuck.

Send the texted of pic to all the school bro.
Some guy in Italy did that shit bitch got famous, also she killed herself do it from another phone.
then microwave your phone.
shit that would be tight

but then he couldn't rope us into bell air
sage

>pic related
>it's what you feed stupid bitches that "fyi my favorite food is pad thai ;)"

>tfw when you're in the screencap
But user you forgot to include the post I was replying to when I called OP a betamale.

>>"this is what happens when I get REAL pad thai"
POST PICTURE OR LIES

Redditor faggot detected

pic nao

Aww shit man sorry

>not saving threads for future best of Cred Forums threads
One track mind detected

It's not that hard, pull up an easy version of it on the net and follow the recipe. Even if he didn't want to bother to learn, he still could have made something easy, like chicken with some veggies or spaghetti and garlic bread, etc, but he admitted failure and threw together some ungodly creation as an attempt to save face.

OP got what he deserved. I'm through apologizing for millennials who are too stupid/lazy to learn the most basic of skills. Cooking is one of the first things you should learn, I'm already having my daughter help me in the kitchen, and she is 5. If my 5 year old can help me make pancakes, this little bitch can learn to make Pad Thai

/rant

>implying youre not stroking your 1 inch cock over the thought of uploading this to r/Cred Forums

>tfw you're a nigger from the ghetto and the only food you've ever cooked is ramen noodles and cold chicken mcnuggets in the fridge that you nuked

> bitch LITERALLY sucks dick in exchange for noodles

you dodged a bullet, op. spread the beej picture around everywhere you can, see if she an heroes like that dumb italian whore.

Stop screencapping every unfunny shit you see on Cred Forums you fucking tryhard

Left

Jesus dude.
>mom's spaghetti everywhere
No just OPs Not-so Pad Thai

I've always thought the point was that threads are gone forever, you had to be there kind of thing, like all of our posts.

You know what to do OP

Update it dumbass

>What kind of bitch assumes that the average dude knows how to make pad thai?

That's what I was thinking. It's almost unbelievable that anybody would assume that anybody else could make that.

>we could order and pizza and have some sex

Oh sweet Christ.

>"this is what happens when I get REAL pad thai"
Wow, and i tought 10 dollars whores were cheap

She sounds easy. Saved some money on Valtrex. No doubt. Shit happens for a reason. Man up.

Back to /ck/ you fucking homo

It's a millimetre actually.

Most adults know how to cook.

It's thai version of spaghetti and meatballs. It's literally the easiest shit in the world to make.

>hey im sorry
>could we order pizza and then have some sex

>mfw

>>"hey im sorry, we could order pizza and then have some sex?"

HOLY FUCKING SHIT user

Pad Thai

Heat oil in a wok. Add the garlic and stir-fry until golden brown. ...

Add the noodles. ...

Push the contents of the wok up around the sides to make room to fry the eggs. ...

Add chiles, peanuts, garlic chives and bean sprouts. ...

Plate to serve

????

PROFIT

Oh man, that shit is rocket science!

wow i love true stories that people work really hard on to make sure that people can tell it's a true story

who cares? that whore sucks dick for a fucking ration of shitty ass noodles.
She must have like 36 STDs

This. It's not worth cooking for scum just because it has a vagina.

What an ungratful bitch asking you to make pan tai, this is why you weebs need to learn how to cook properly. Olive oil, cast iron hot skillets and spices. But the real fail was you if you had been alpha you would have just fucked her then ordered a pizza. Next time make a gonnchi, pan seard flat iron with wine, spaghetti and meat balls ie learn to cook.

Literally too much work (and who the fuck burns garlic like that?) for some stupid bitch who would be fine eating mcdonalds quality pad thai then suckyour your chode until you blow your load too fast and she ends up fucking chad anyway?

you used a gay meme/frog you deserved it drop the memes grow the fuck up and find someone better and dont be retarded simple

That guy looks like bob barker, i wanna fuck him and im a guy.

>i wanna fuck him and im a guy.

more like i wanna fuck him and im a gay

>"hey im sorry, we could order pizza and then have some sex?"

are you fucking retarded

kek If you can't cook you don't deserve to fuck. Pic related. learn from the king OP.

chemistry class? she's like 25. are you in slow kid retard school OP?

...

I call bullshit

>chemistry class? she's like 25
are you retarded? Literally the first line user.

Yeah. still havent seen the text.
YOURE FULL OF SHIT OP

Im not gay bro but look at that zero percent bodyfat, i bet that man knows how to sear his meat if you know what i mean. Op is probably 300 pounds getting a pitty fuck from the local whore, and he fucked that shes probably fucked every guy but op.

Sorry, no. A true neckbeard fedora type would actually defend such a slut. They whiteknight all women, they aren't able to differentiate between a rotten whore and a decent girl. To them, if it has a pussy, it must be defended and worshipped.

of COURSE it's bullshit, are you really so autistic to think that girls send pics of themselves sucking dick to random losers along with messages like "this would have been you if you had given me noodles"?

>>week later get a text with pic of Angie giving a bj to the guy
>>"this is what happens when I get REAL pad thai"
>I've been drinking heavily since Tuesday since then
yep, that happened

>are you really so autistic to think that girls send pics of themselves sucking dick to random losers
No that's why I made that post user

I would make it again if I were you

you already have the "a generic beta male" post

but to really perfect it you should include the pic of OP near it

lrn2meme

how can you be THIS autistic, holy shit

also, screw that bitch, she is probably full of STDs anyway, you probably dodged a bullet there, OP

Roll of faith.
Even = Yes
Odds = No

What possesed you to think you could made pad thai when you couln't even make a fucking sanwich? let alone ramen,

Thank god I know how to cook shit. I'm going to use it to lure qts.

I'm the king of memes kid

Sorry non USA fag here. I keep hearing about this Ramen, can't be fucked to Google it. What is it? Is it like those packet noodles you boil in water we get here for about 25p?

yes, its exactly that

Thanks user.