I haven't had sex in nine months and this is the longest ive ever gone without sex

almost 25 years here. and im fuckin pround of it. im clean as fuck. no drugs, no sex, no alcohol.

Fuck off, I haven't had sex in 386 days...
Worst thing is that I don't even want to count it, my head does it on it's own.

Well whatever you do come on b/ to get advice because that's sure to help with your whining complaint.

We're in the presence of a wizard.

rofl

being a virgin doesn't count because you don't even know what you're missing

Who is this semen demon?

this is different, child

Living without sex I can bear, but no alcohol?! Are you insane?

being a virgin is different from having a dry-spell

27 only had sex with a hooker. Hold me /b

>Rofl
You should kys
Although soldi argument, Still, kill yourself faggot

I havent had my dick in a pussy in over 2 years, I have sucked some tittys and eaten a girl out within the year but dicking a girl down, its been over 2 years... Miss it but I dont miss the pregnancy scares

well Im kinda virgin too so I dont know what Im missing

maybe there's a bit of anxiety 'cause Im 26 but still

i don't want to fuck a hooker idk
i want some fine-ass pussy

Goddamnit

you're such a fucking pussy manlet.

obviously all you have to to is workout for 3-4 weeks. Maybe even just 2-3x a day. on that 2nd week you'll start to really feel it. By week 3-4 you will turn into a semi-alpha version of yourself and bitches will start throwing themselves onto you.

*Tipping fedora to you*

You had sex last than 9 months after you were born?

I'm sorry to hear you were raped as a baby.

I jack off to the porn on the World Wide Jew, I just don't give a fuck. Keeps me sane.

ya im considering it
life without sex is a fate worse than death
also i hate masturbation because of my mutilated jew dick

man must of sucked being raped repeatedly throughout your life by i'm assuming family from the day you were born

Fuck an expensive hooker then.

i worked out for three months
actually, that was the last time i had sex
i was quitting drinking and working out a bunch
i only got laid after 2 weeks of working out
i didnt get laid or attract any ladies the next 2.5months of working out
there are no women to attract
it's all online

>B8ted meme spouters pls go back to facebook

im fucking dirt poor
good suggestion though
there's some fine-ass pussy for $300
it's illegal now though

-_-

you should really lose it
then fuck 20 girls to make up for lost time
never too late

how have you not offed yourself yet serious question
although it does get easier the longer you stay worthless because sexless
you're not a man unless you're getting laid
sexless men are not men and should kill themselves

analy

Listen to me OP.

Stay in a hostel. Get a private room. Travel somewhere in Europe (Barcelona, London, Prague) by yourself. Do a free walking tour that are promoted at the hostel on pamphlets. Good English speaking ones are best because they can naturally engage with English speaking tourists and give good atmosphere. Get social with people your age and try click with a group. The walking tour group always have a night event and will promote it at the end. Tip them as well and get friendly with the host. They are good with attracting people to these events. Find out if people you met what their plans are and if they are going. Go to the event, get chatty with girls you fancied earlier that day and see how it goes. The only thing you need to do is make sure you never think with your dick or wanting to get laid until you are very sure she is into you. Girls see straight through that if you are showing overtly that you just wanna fuck. Your aim is to have as much fun as you can and think of that mantra when you are out all day and night. That will pull people towards you. It worked for me a few times and got laid or had great memories.

andrzejek wszędzie

that sounds like fun
i'm too neurotic for that now though, i think
i can't have sex with people i know
i don't even want to talk to a girl before fucking her. there's nothing to say.
some people are only capable of saying "me"
i'd definitely like to travel when i'm off probation, though
so there is hope
maybe i will get laid when i'm not marginalized and oppressed and living in absolute poverty anymore lol

I don't drink alcohol too.

op here
ya same im straight edge
also im going off of antidepressants right now

Do you meant 20yo girls or literally 20 girls?

literally 20 girls

hire a prostitute and lose your virginity to demistify sex, it's nothing special to have sex

why live

i don't even know
seems like the only reasons to live are pleasure and fear of death

life is really simple
you survive and either pass on your genes or don't
eventually you die

I dont think it works like that dude

Just practice talking to people. Never think about sex as a goal because then you're just shooting yourself in the foot. If you can just have a conversation with people, especially women, things will progress naturally.

idk i remember my one buddy lost his virginity and fucked 17 girls within a year or two
i've had sex w/ 35 women
feels like im a fucking kissless virgin though

please tell me how you continue to live life.

Y'all count?

man, i used to talk to people, but i'm just too depressed
also, everybody is fucking stupid as fuck. they're not even worth talking to. it's easier with a hooker, because you don't have to maim language in service of your sexual desires, demarcate language in order to essentially say "me. you. sex?"
i feel like it'd be better for your mind if you smashed your head against a stone wall vs speaking to people

well maybe 'cause you're giving it so much importance and comparing yourself with someone else

what

see, this is what i'm talking about
everybody is fucking stupid as all fucking fuck

right, that's why i don't get laid
people are fucking retarded
girls only sleep with you when you're black-out drunk or always doing coke- in other words, when you're a brain-dead idiot
because women are brain-dead idiots
getting laid is easy if you're a brain-dead idiot
maybe some brain-dead whore will fuck my corpse in the morgue one day

Then you've found your problem. I mean, not that it's impossible to get laid while depressed or in that lonely state. But it's just harder imo. I get laid all the time now with my current gf but before I was a wreck. Communication is key with any kind of hook up or relationship.

But yeah, people are stupid.

you know, maybe people around you isnt the real problem
maybe you are overthinking it a lot and still give it too much relevance

i literally talk to literally no one, ever
i'm completely alone
:'(

people are herd animals

Try in /soc/

I am turning into a wizard next year, make sure you get things going if you want to because i seriously lost interest in even trying after 25-26.

Yeah Im almost 27 and Ive lost some interest in it