ITT: we working in the same office anons!

Who was the fucker who put this in my briefcast, that's not funny guys

Yea uhh. Someone know how to open this website some guy told me to visit? Im on A website right now but i only see search results or some kind. Should i click somewhere orrr...???

I heard you yell allahu akbar fucking terrorist

Barry gave me authorisation to put it there.

I'm not your mummy, stop acting like a child and clean up after yourself.

Hey Tom. I want that report by 4 pm.
You can do it, youre closer to promotion. *winks*

Sam did it

are you retarded?

it obviously said Abarron

A Muslim?

working in an office?

Good one Simon!

I made cookies for everyone! Take one, please. Once everyone has recieved their first cookie, then you can help yourself to a second one.

If i find out out whoever has been putting their dick in my tacos ill suck their dick, be warned!!

Just because I was flirting doesn't mean I was sexualy harassing you

Just call the idiots on service desk, remember to be as rude as possible to those cunts.

Why are you people so lazy, get back to work or I'll let Barry know you're screwing around on the job.

Yes mother

Give me a break Norton. Do you shit without me

For fucks sake. Sam to my office now!
The rest of you keep working

Well aberron is a cunt

That's it, Barry AND HR are going to know about this.
Fucking Men.

im taking a handful sarah because you threw my cat under the elevator and crushed it you nasty bitch

Oooooo sams fucked

Back to your seats, Quick! I saw COO Jamari doing his routine checks.

Who farted? ??

Did I rape you Shannon?

Why is the boss never taking me to his office to give me a spanking..

re you kidding me?!?

IT WASN'T EVEN ME, FOR FUCK SAKE

Sam did it

Shannon.

Halo i am the new interrn here

The fuck you are you little bitch. I told you Sam threw him! I was trying to help!

If you still want to, enjoy your hospital trip. Those cookies have peanuts in them.

Shit *Starts typing random shit in keyboard looking concentrated*

Who's bringing the rohipnol to the Xmas party???

INTERNS GET OUT

RRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEE

We are going to die here.

You're one floor up trevor

What up players? Hey guess who got lucky with Rebecca in the break room like right now ayyyy. Steve!! Steve?! Smell my fingers bro!

Barry, Richard is harrassing me again.

Just don't even talk to me.

Keep your tone down Sam.
Okay boy thats the last one i want to hear about you two, next time ill give you unpayd extra work

i don't know what you're talking about but im snorting jamaican crystal urine on the Xmas after party.

actually that was me, my bad bro

also can you cover for me while I take a shit on the bosses desk?

did you 69 sam?

that's ok ive been choking on nuts since i was 6, this wont kill me, the gypsy with the missing eye in the shady alleyway outside the building said so

I need you to work this weekend.

I promised the client a better product with new bells and whistles.

If you need me, just call me; I'll be at the beach with my girlfriends this weekend.

Sam called Shannon fat!!

Alright, I brought three boxes of munchkins. Each of you can only have a max of 3, and please use the napkins.

give it all to me u whiteboi

Sam forgot to buy napkins tho

fuck, only if you show me how you do that thing with your tongue

Is it me or does the IT guy make anyone else nervous?

We're both black, Tyrone.

Sam's been fucking up lately...

I swear to God if I get blamed for one more thing I didn't do, I'm going to
nuke this whole building

Hey intern can you print out the gif I just sent you? Haha check this out guys

I know what you mean.

the number of clocks he has in is office is scares me

Stop being a faggot sam, this is why nobody likes you

>Why won't Sam notice me
>maybe it's because he's a misogynist
>next time he does anything, I'm reporting him to HR

Sam you're so funny

I need to speak with you for a minute about the wage gap.

Don't you think Sam and Shannon are a good pair?

What did I just heard? Nuke my floor?
Okay big guy I think you need to talk
with Claire, our psychologist.

B-but I had plans to go to.... Yeah, y-you can count on me boss.

Yep, that's fine Linda, but I'm a little busy right now, send me an email about it and I'll look into it.

O look helga showed up today

Haha.. gap....

Oh, sorry I didn't see you there. I was just tidying up the PowerPoint for next week's presentation...

I'll take it jeff

shhssh man she might hear you...
She's even worse than Shannon, she'll report you for anything but worse still, she's actually friends with the HR bitch.

But I *really* need to talk to you.

It's Helen.

No, Shannon's a lez. She's basically a leather jacket away from being Billy Ray Cyrus

Why with the pickles? I just quit smoking, and you ruined my day.

I'd help too but I'm meant to see the psychologist then.

it doesn't help because she always has to play psychologist with me.

I'm sorry, Tyffani, but I simply can't give you a raise just because you identify as female and wear dresses to work... You're getting paid the same as everyone else who's held your position for less than a year, and you're gonna have to be happy with that....

hoo stol stronk akkordion? my akkordion.

Yeah?

When is bring your hot teenager daughter to work day?

>Looking directly at Chris

O my bad hannah

Classic Jimmy

If i find out whoever keeps taking my salad and carving "Hugh Mungus" in the container i'm going to file for a sexual assault complaint. I am a woman in the workplace and i do not deserve this treatment.

Sam!
My office, NOW.

Fuck, this office needs some tunes.

(brings out bluetooth speaker)

*click*

youtube.com/watch?v=Vm7x20U412c

*Clearing my throat and being beta*.. uhh nothing

Sam! Why the fuck you put this shit in my briefcast. You got austism or something

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

alright then....

Cmon John,pull yourself together Hannah isn't scary at all you could take her

She wants me

how about... no

Hey i think she is named linda

WHO THE FUCK THIS FUCKWIT IN THE BUILDING!
rick-IT

Guys, the life of senior management is a lot tougher than you think... Even though I'm out of my office for the next six weeks cruising my yacht through the South China Sea, that doesn't mean I'm not still working! There's a lot of shit we've got to do up at this level, too!!

Seriously......

Now, if you'll excuse me, my 20 year-old supermodel wife and I got some sun-tanning to do on the aft deck...

Somebody wanna join me on making crystals?
I've just found this guide on the internet-thingy!!

WHO THE FUCK ATE MY LUNCH, IT WAS CLEARLY LABELED CALEB

hey that's my child you're talking to

Sam Jr

Jesus Sam you wanna fuck up again cuz that's how you fuck up

Sam did it

Pack your shit, and get the fuck out of my sight.

You ever see how she eats her sandwich? Like the fucking cookie monster. Definite deal breaker bro

That is Edward he probably fucking crazy
or born premature and drop 3 times as a baby
also where the fuck is my pen?
-Jimmy IT

Hi, I'm here for the job interview.

Goodness me, it's too hot in here.

You know that's a he, right?

shut up Tom you fat shit, we all know it was you

My wife just had twins, who wants to see the baby pictures xo

You're hired.You can work with Sam

"She" told me to start addressing "her" as Tyffani, with the fucked-up spelling actually pronounced (teefanee?)....

I don't get it either, but she's gonna have to suck it up... I can't just hand out huge raises just because someone feels they deserve it because they wear dresses instead of pants... "Social Justice" is just not the real world....

Test

Uh oh Sam must not of napped after he ate

no please it was a joke, see I'm in your office now

..guess I'll just set the building on fire then

Send that mr goldstien that fucking jew
gotta gas them all

Fuck you Sam

who here likes my business card?

He was probably too busy eating caleb's sandwich boss

Nobody likes you guys.

You're fucking with me, right. Oh men i think i'm gay, i didn't notice it she is a guy

user, the police officer on the phone told me to strip search you.

I'm done working with Sam.
Did I mention I am really good at reducing the cost of the labor force?

Damn Kyle nobody asked you to talk

did you just assume Sam's gender?

Got my new keyboard for my computer. I hope no one steals it.

Srry did I say Sam I meant Shannon and hannah

We've received multiple noise complaints from the office next door, and as the sheriff of this county I'm going to have to ask you to keep it down, okay Sam?

Sam, youre a fucking asshole, clearly labeled my food and then you blame Tom.

Dammit, Terry! How many times do I have to tell you!? Our accounting staff NEEDS to be Jewish!! Otherwise, we won't be making near the margins we are!!

Stop trying to gas our accountants already!!

Hey, screw you John. You're just mad I fucked your ex wife.

Sam here, giving you all a big fuck off. I'm going to be the co-host of an online kids show and i'm going to be super famous especially now people realize Sam can be a girls name too!

Btw whoever brought pasta into work for the past 2 years, i was the one who kept stealing it. Come get me now you ass rat.

don't mind me, I'm must waiting for someone to say some shit like how I'm going to steal it or
something

Fuck this place. I go to McDonalds. Who comes with me?

ALLAHU AKBAR

We all did

You mean sam's son sam Jr's son Edward the fuckwit
-Rick IT

I didn't realize it was a mass reduction in force.

I am going to need special tools for this.

it wasn't me! why would I want your lunch when I've brought my own?

Kyle you know I left her cuz Sam gave her a std

Someone pulled the fire alarm.

Aloha snackbar?? ahahah sanjeeb calm down you prankster

I was running late and I didn't have time to shower at the gym. I hope no one minds.

Ofcukno.png

>This is why it's good to hire combat veterans.....

*starts masturbating looking at Sam*

Shit when did we hire that Paki programmer?

dude why must you keep dragging my name in the dirt

woman to power

Im down with that john. Im tired to deal with the Sam's shit

Watch your language with me son, or you'll be facing the law

Who wants to suck my dick for free
-carl unemployed

I thought you took care of Shannon wtf man

Why are you eating your coworkers food, throwing your stapler at people, and screaming Allahu Akbar so goddamn lout that the fucking poilce had to to come due to a fucking noise complaint?! Answer this shit now, or I'll have your shit packed for you, and thrown out the goddamn window, making sure it hits your shitty 2007 Honda Civic that's 3 months late on payments.

Shit... It was a prank?

Well.... Sanjeeb just bled all over the break room... killed him with a plastic fork.... Sorry 'bout that........

how do save a drowning baby?

take your foot off its head

im sorry, i just really want you to fuck me

-Mike

Oh shit Sams going postal!!

Getting real tired of your shit sam

That was Sam and then I was called into a workplace ethics meeting.

Cause youre an asshole Tom we all know this

Not as cute as a Planck keyboard

What the fuck did I do wrong just called a retard who has reeeeing loudly a fuckwit
-Rick IT

it's cool, I've got more

how do you get a baby out a blender?

nachos

Hey is it the famous "ohh myyy" guy ?

Dibs on being office whore

Dan Schneider just became your supervisor.

What do you do?

Going postal has lost a lot of its meaning.

Honestly glad he's dead, he kept asking me to read some book called the Corranne and how it'd save me from this hell.

Now it won't be awkward to hand back that book, it was covered in squiggles he called Arabic but i think he mightve been dyslexic lol

Sam I swear to god I'm going to throw another stapler and blame it on you

*types away at computer* DAMNIT! What is my job?!

with theses trips can I stay in this office sir?

No I think that carl not getting his dick sucked
-tim it

Sweeping the floors lee geez

Dammit Tom! Pull your pants up you lard!

Start getting pedicures and hope i still look young enough to keep my job

Step 1. Who?
Step 2. Make fun of his hair
Step 3. Make fun of his fat
Step 4. Make fun of his clothes
Step 5. Make fun of his faggotry
Step 6. Mention all this to his superiors, take his position and watch him get escorted out...

>hostile takeovers can be quite entertaining...

Who the fuck ate my lunch , I wrote hanks meme full , now I don't have the skills to produce dank memes

Bring a virgin offering

Bend over, no one can resist Dan "The Hymen Divider" Schnieder

don't bring your offering to close to Tom.

That fat shit will eat it like he did with everyone's lunch

I tell my wife to stop dropping off our daughter at my office.

One more goddamn time, Sam, and I swear you're out of here, and I make sure you never become employed at another office/store/whatever the fuck you apply for again. Mark my words.

Stop trying to blame that on me Sam I know you take all the food home to feed your 23 cats

thanks boss

Proselytizing religion is not allowed in this office environment....

Strangely enough, however, proselytizing Islam is not frowned upon because tolerance or some shit...

Bash his brain in and fuck while he dtill moves around twitching
-gary

Oh for fucks sake Sam, you're promoted.

we all know I get more pussy than you Tom, you don't have to tell the whole office

Damn! Sam! Is always you. You need another hole in you crack. Off yourself

this is too real i dont like this game anymore

narly

Tom if Sam is eating all the lunches please explain why you have a whole condiment spread on your shirt
-Felix

I didn't know you were into beastiality sam

I like ketchup faggot do we have a fucking problem?

A religion? I thought it was some shitty book club lol

Oh god he's going to sit on me someone get a forklift!

Shut up, Tom, or you're gonna attract the attention of that fat smelly weirdo furry dude from IT....

I get what I can

I'm not fussy

i break the news to jennifer, the teenage volunteer who is trying to earn community service hours for her high school graduation requirements

OH MAN!! this Garfeild the cat is hilarious!!

I hate Mondays haha

Jeremy isn't that bad just get to know him sam

rawr xdd

did anyone say furry hahah im a spiritual transwolf pigeon on deviant art hit me up if u wanna yiff off some time

Can somebody CC me the Aderson account info mail?
Bucky's gonna have my head if I don't make the deadline.

Thanks in advance!

Hiiii jeremy

Sure thing sending over the Sanderson files right now
-Felix

I got you jim

hey who wants to try out my new condom?

Way to be on top of it felix

I'm not Sam, I'm Ted.... And I've tried a few times, but he's just so......

Eugh.... See what I mean, Tom!? I just can't deal with that........

Heyy haha im thinking of coming in my fur suit for halloween, what do u think :3

It's ok Ted I understand

Please don't I'd rather not have to tear my eyes out. thanks.
-Felix

...

Ah great, thanks Alex!
Oh and of course thank you, Felix. But I needed the Anderson file, not the Sanderson.
I made a similar mistake last week haha lol XD

Me too bro

Gregs here

Who the fuck is this guy
-frank

Ah, darnit. See, I'm proned to make mistakes as well. Oh well, no harm no foul XD

When did you get here frank?

Frank that's Greg

He's the office autist he shows up randomly and yells random shit
-Felix

Hey guys! Hugh Mungus here, it's my first day and I'm a little nervous. Anything I should know before getting to work?

Stay away from sam

ill fucking cum in your empty eye sockets then you lowlife fuck i know exactly what youve been browsing in your spare time and your wife would not be amused

wow haha ^__^ you look hawt in this pic

Hugh Mungus what?

His name is Geg, Chad, you fucking autist

I don't think you do, Tim.........

I mean......

I don't like to tell anyone this, but......

A few years ago, my dad was working the Chicago furry con.... He died when some fuckhead made chlorine gas in the stair well....

Furries killed my father, Tim...... Furries killed my father.......

H-hey user. Do want to go to McDonald's with me?

YOU SON OF A BITCH IT WAS YOU

The fuck somebody got on my computer again I swear to god Ted do it again and you'll regret it
-Felix

I arrived at 10am and try to OD from this hell of wage cucking but I didnt
-frank

10-4

Beware of Sam's shit. She is such prick furry lover

Guys Samantha's giving birth In her cubicle, can someone get the janitor?

...

Ted would love to

that's my name. all the kids used to give me shit for it when i was younger...i hope things will change now

it's Sam
and wtf have I done to you peter?

Call Jerry from IT and he'll set you up with some new security.
Just make sure you don't make too much eye contact, he's a bit twitchy

-Carl

I thought Ted was Vegan?

Isn't the janitor the one who raped her and got her pregnant in the first place??

Thats so romantic

So is he the brother of Edward or just a fucking retard

I'm tom you dumb shit why haven't you been fired

The bullying must've been a Hugh Mungus burden

Thanks dude

man that chicken salad was good. sorry i'm new here.

Thanks Carl I'll have to do that
-Felix

You throw my food out, I'll have your car towed Faggot.

hey guys, what do we actually do here?

Don't bother me. I'm reading about the Brangelina breakup on Twitter.

sorry Tom
I was nearly fired today to be fair but maybe because I actually get the Job done

heyyy, that's pretty good!

We're making America great again!

I don't think that's gonna change anytime soon, although I'm pretty sure you'll get free drinks at the bar down the street if you show them that ridiculous name on you ID
Hahaha

Tom is going to be pissed the fridge is his domain better run new guy.
-Felix

>farts

He'll just order a salad

Get away from me you filthy dickface and have stoke also how many retards are there?
-frank

Came here to ask the same
gj user

Well I can just about see its head and it's a niglet. So pretty sure it's his.

you compliment Sam for being a darn good employee

oh, sorry Sam. I heard bad things about you..

ALLAHU AKBAR!!!!!!!

I opened 500 fake bank accounts today. My CEO is going to get his bonus.

Is he that really overweight guy that smells like sourdough? He smells like a Hungry Howies.

Shut up sam

HEY. BARNEY. Stop looking at those fucking gossip sites for 5 fucking seconds or I'll have Corporate breathing down your NECK.
GET TO WORK

well i can always drown my thoughts and tears in alcohol. thanks fellow coworker!

Suppose it wouldn't be the first time he's tossed salad with someone in this office...

That'd be him
-Felix

sounds great!!

Hey, that's a bit uncalled for.
I have a glandular problem, just so you know...
assholes

No I'm tom and I smell like roses everyone makes fun of me because they hate my rolls

Tom you fat bastard i might believe that if you'd stop eating my lunch every day!
-Felix

He's the Social Media Specialist. Now stop complaining and get back to work.

Hey everybody! Drinks are one Hugh!

Alright everyone, stop the chit-chat.

You're being paid by the hour.

Anyone who I see not being productive will be fired.

FAT IS HEALTHY FAT IS BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!

but it's nearly my lunch break

Oh fuck off Felix.
You know I can't eat dairy products

Well don't tell him about me stealing milduds out of his desk drawer. That guy could probably eat me whole!