Itt we are all in the same office, Sam went and burnt down the last one
Itt we are all in the same office, Sam went and burnt down the last one
sorry about that guys but I didn't bring a dozen methane canisters to work unlike frank
Tom checking after break want to see my videos
...
Dammit Tom start running on break or something that's disgusting
-Felix
thanks Tom
that's exactly what my eyes needed
Was anyone seen the peek a boo guy anywhere I think he is stalking me
-frank
Np coworkers I even went swimming
nope I totally forgot about him
...
...
Floating more like
Wow Sam, WOW, YOU SPILLY JUICE ON A KEYBOARD 30 FEET FROM YOURS, HOW?
this is why your never invited to work parties
Ughh Greg get out of here
God damn Sam why you have to be so rude
That and there'd be no damn food left
hmmm maybe because I didn't and the fact you have a half empty mug of juice gave it
away who actually did
It was probably Greg and it's probably not juice
I leave plenty of vegetables you whiny bitches
you chucked a plant pot at Nancy the other day
that's a bit rude in my opinion
at least its not on my keyboard
SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Nancy definitely deserved that
-Felix
Nancy deserved it she said you didn't throw the stapler
so close Sam Jr
you just need to add M at the end and you'll finally be able to speak at least one word of
English
CAN YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP EDWARD JESUS CRIST SOME OF US ARE NOT A RETARED FUCKWIT!
-RICK IT
Sam fell in the well boy? I guess we'll leave her
but I thought we all agreed that it was Abarrane who did it
You're think of his dad which is sam jr
he is Edward you know from the last office that was burned down by SAM!
-jim IT
you little prick I'm right here
also how did you know my son was a boy?
Sam there's a whole video
Cuz I'm your coworker you dipshit
all I did was leave the oven on in the kitchen, I wasn't the person who decided to block the
door with methane canisters
"will everyone please stop looking at my tits" - Stephanie
Ya sure Sam
This is why we can't have nice things sam
Stop wearing low cut tops
-Felix
Thats your job tho
wait so you're a guy?
why are your breasts so flat then?
it was probably steve with the can
I think he is trying to burn down the building right now
-frank
Shitters clogged!
Why is there a plane heading right towards us?
what about the cake I cooked for the whole office
sure Tom ate the whole thing but its the thought that counts right?
JIM PUT MY STAPLER IN JELLO AGAIN
Hell no be right back I'm gunna roll Tom on top of him
-Felix
SAM'S job
NO STOP YOU'LL KILL HIM
I tom will get it for you
Sorry boss I forgot
Sam!
I put up with your shit
but I'm not touching your shit
That's the idea!
but I'll get the blame
Uhm guys, why is there a party van in front of our building at this hour?
Dammit what'd Sam do this time?
God damnit gery what'd you do
Uh I got a delivery of 20 pizzas.
I've been working with you for the past hour,
how could it of been me?
Quick everyone help me hide this stuff from Tom!
"Working"
its probably for Tom, just leave them on Alice's desk over there
We don't even work in the same department
MICROWAVE EVERYTHING
WHAT!!!!!
sorry I'VE been working while you've been rating our employees tits again
Who is going to pay for it?, the total is $327.28.
No wonder why you got a 0/10
Dammit guys walk quickly we can escape if we move slightly quick!
Stephanie will
just walk up the stairs, he'll never catch us there
Anyone having any tech problems right now? I just finished fixing the server.
Who is Stephanie?
...
...
OH SHIT, Toms opening fire on us
Hi, Stephanie? Did you order the 20 large all meat pizzas?
Uh ya, Ted keeps getting on my computer can you help me secure it?
-Felix
Hello is this the krusty krab?
...
isn't that of some cartoon or something?
Change your password, oh and the new password requirements are 1 capital vowel, 1 capital consonant, 3 different numbers, 2 symbols, and a length of 15 characters.
No that was Sam
Where can I find Sam then?
Ugghh damned management always screwing with me
She's probably causing trouble somewhere
Evening niggers
Get out of here Tim
-Felix
Whats up cracka ass bitch?
Im not Tim my name is Harry
10 years and I still haven't received a raise!
I'm not and I didn't order any pizzas
>Little does he know there is no password requirement and I have been using his computer to look at porn then blaming Ted.
Someone here owes me $327.
Halo again i escaped the fire i'm OK
felix do you know who ordered the pizza's?
Sorry the guys in the van out front said they'd cover it! They look scary but they're really just a bunch of softies.
-Felix
I wish you were burned alive in the fire the way your complaining
Has someone seen my pizza?
aren't you that stalker dude?
Shut up Nancy nobody likes you! Even Tom can't stand being around you.
I think Tom has
No u
Fuck this I am out of here.
>Drops the pizzas on the ground and walks out.
HA fooled you again, I am not Nancy but actually Sam
the lovable goof
HEY! Which one of you fuckers took my pen?
Great free pizza
Nobody loves Sam
Its time to get spooky
you can be my partner, don't worry although everyone talks shit about me, I'm actually a cool guy
Yessir i'm the intern stalker Halo to you
Nice dance moves david
why do you smell like Wendy's?
Helo
can I pekk a boo at you?
...
You're nice, don't come to work tomorrow
Someone is in the toilet but I dont he works here and I think he made a glory hole
-frank
I thought drug tests were mandatory ?
Hshdhdgshshshshshshshshssbdbdfhfhhfhfhdhdhdhhdhdhddgsvvdsvvsvsvwvsvdhdhdhdhdhdhdh
They are, but Greg here must've had some help getting around it
don't worry, your secretes safe with me, also there's no point as I'm going to be blamed for it
anyway so I might as well see what happens
OI!, You fucking cunt you better not have told anyone about that lady or you're dead
-carl
he wasnt on drugs when he took the test he is just fucking retarded
-dan
Due to drugs he wasn't born like that he and Edward aren't actually related
Look at this funny picture haha
its quite easy to get around the drug test on Thursday though, as Joe's never in to do it
WTF is that?
which drugs are we testing?
begause i had sex with Wendy
Holy shit is kush is fucking good m8 anyone wants a quick puff of it?
Sorry I'm late, there was this huge cocksucking contest on the 41.
Honestly i think it's a sham made by management I think they just dump the samples
-Felix
its cool, the boss isn't back from the burnt building yet
Ya I don't think he made it out
Wait if he is dead then why the fuck
are why doing are jobs than
-frank
Well, how do we decide who is the boss now?
Roman Senate, anyone?
I vote for me Sam
To smoke some dank kush m80
most of us don't even work to begin with
Ofcourse
Your vote that Tom and Sam are out of the running
Greg or edward and maybe frank and that kush guy
He doesn't pay us that comes down from regional
at least I'm not the only one hated now
The strongest shall rule
yeah maybe someone who took a lot of blame for the burning of our last office
hey guys. still raping pens-bob
If I'm elected Stephanie will be required to wear a skimpy uniform to work everyday
and what about Sam?
I, Gaius Augustus Cocksuckicus Iulius Caesar, vote for myself as boss of this office. Those who pledge their loyalty to my leadership, say, "mentulam suge"
Oh shit, boss is in the hallway
I will vote for frank I mean he is the most working guy here
To be executed
Fuck you then, you've lost my vote
Se will be forced to wear a button up jacket that exposes nothing
Wasn't me
Has someone seen this man?
Ya pretty sure I saw him get in a van out front
-Felix
yeah you just showed us him
Uh, my name is Sam, I'm new here.
OH SHIT I HAVING A BAD TRIP
I'm gonna go suffocate myself with C02 in sedan, anyone want to join me? Have room for three more
Sam is not new here get out
Inshallah brother
Sorry? I don't know what you mean. This is my first job so I'm pretty nervous, is this some sort of office prank?
wow momma, that's my name, how about we call you silly?
trust me it's best you don't keep that name around here
Ugh...Gary took a shit on the copy machine's scanner again...
-Jeff
Grt our now there so much retards and weed smookers RUN!
-frank
Well thanks stranger. We can call me Jack, that's my middle name.
Dammit Sams go clean it up
Don't be mean. He's the new kenyan intern.
how about instead I throw you out the window
sounds good?
Well jack best to meet Edward the ski masked weirdo
Hahaha this is Tom bitch
Hey guys and gals! I'm the new guy on the block over in HR, the names Case but you can call me Ace hahaha! So anyway, who y'all voting for this year?
I've fucked up
...
How about you go choke on a bag of spiked dicks you waste of fucking office space and filtered water?
Nobody wants HR here we are doing fine
-Felix
I can't vote, they've banned me
Ya you did
Guys come on I'm just new in town and just want to make the whole work place a family :-) you know what, I'm going out to Bufflo Wild Wings this Saturday to watch a game, want to me there around 7? I'll buy you a beer!
FAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGOT!
fuck you Case i'll set fire to your kids
is it alright if you invite Tom?
Bribery bribery only Tom would fall for
HOLY SHIT EDWARD JUST SAID A COMPLETED WORD HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK!
-FRANK
Sure anyone can come if they want! Guys I'm giving you multiple chances but I'll say it out loud now just so we have the ground rules; I'm quite uncomfortable with these threats and vulgar language. Please do not have these in our workplace and we'll be set! :-)
No, fuck Tom, that asshole ate my lunch
And it made sense damn it's a miracle!
-Felix
i'm gonna use your ass as a hand puppet and make you perform shows for your family
- Felix
WHO SET HITLER AS MY DESKTOP BACKGROUND!?!
Okay fellas, let's go have a meeting in my office! Come on let's just go talk these things out :-)
It was Sam
WHY WOULD I DO THAT TO MYSELF?
that'll be tom again he's going through a bit of a phase, thats nothing you should see what he did to the showers
Nah I'm busy setting an unregulated password on my computer seems somebody keeps getting on it and tech support is no help
-Felix
for some reason I want to know what he did
Probably bill form desk 88 IT
well I guess that's the truth
Ya it probably was
Forgot pic
well joe goldburg told me he switched the pipes from the water to a homebrewed form of mustard gas, you know tom always the prankster
Tom must be hanging out with this guy
Classic Tom, always good for a laugh
>mustard gas
the irony is strong
Btw Tom had a cake in the fridge so I decided I'd get it out for everyone
-Felix
that's it guys, my shift is over
it's been fun being the scape goat but I've gotta get back home.
see ya
~Sam~
Great now we need a new scapegoat
Did someone say goat cheese
Rick
This is just the van of the dealer from this three retards who burnt down the old office.
preddy goud
And Rick volunteers!