Things you wouldn't hear a black person say

Good day my negro

>Let's make a kid

I did it.

>I can't wait to see my children
>Thank you for the loan
>I got hired!

Hello dad

"a magic trick, what else is new"

Mayonnaise ain't that bad.

I said it first faggot

I know our people are so angry at the white man, but I'm not. After all, we'd just be in Africa right now if it weren't for them. I'm grateful for my excellent life in this country.

>This job sure is great, too bad I have to wait all day to come home and see the kids

"I don't want your welfare money."

I admit to using an illegal firearm, officer please take my in for further questioning.

watermelon and fried chicken are gross

Off to work!

Kek

"nah, i dont feel like going to Church's"

WE SHOULD GET OUR EARS CHECKED! IT SEEMS WERE ALWAYS YELLING... YA'LL NOTICE THIS?

I like obese white women

Our dicks are bigger than white dicks so their women belong to us.

>cuz cuckspiracy throrists are all honky-ass virgins

I have a micropenis

"I know we were oppressed and slaved at one point in time, but that is in the past and we need to move forward. We are no longer oppressed, and we need to fix our ghettos if people are to respect us."

I can start monday

Ayyyyy

NBA2k14 is the worst game I've ever stolen

Black girls are hotter than white girls.

...

I want a compact economical car with normal suspension and matching stock wheel covers, not a retired cop car or a land yacht.

"hurry up, we're in a crosswalk!"

I'm intelligent

Hi, Dad!

"allow us to settle this peacefully"

i laughed

Holy shit. That Mario dashing atop my screen spooked me. Is that was Hiroshima Nagasaki is apologizing for?

...

yes, i admit it, i stole it and it was wrong.
where's my belt?

"This chicken is just too darm spicy!"

"Madden 2k17 isn't "a good game

This bike? I bought it at Mountain Equipment Co-op.

"I like black girls and they are pretty with good hair"

I don't need those Jordans

kek

You win this thread. Have some Gold.

Just finished my computer science degree!

"oh shit, im sorry man, i stepped on your Micheal Jordan-brand footwear"

"it is ok, my man, i will just clean them"

Lol. They drive me crazy when they do this shit

>it's fucked up that the police don't have to face consequences for harassing, stealing from and even executing innocents and unresisting criminals, but to attack our neighbours and their livelihoods makes us no better than them, and only hurts us and our community

Hi Dad

KEK!!!

"Im so glad I dont screw around with every girl on the block and have no std's what so ever"

"Yes your honor, i did do sumphing"

.....

I need to top up my tan.

Hey dad, I love you.

"He wasnt a good boy, he did do something"

"Im sorry officer, i was acting like a real jerk-a-runi"

"I am your father"

Scared the shits out of me

5 keks

...

Why yes, I did vote in the mid term election

Pardon me kind sir but, might you have some Grey Poupon?

all of you are horrible and should FEEL HORRIBLE. I fucking hate black white and other races especially ASIANS. BUT WHY DO HUMANS HAVE TO MAKE FUN OF EACHOTHER!?!?!? ITS NOT OK!!! I FUCKING HATE ALL OF YOU. I DONT EVEN FUCING KNOW WHY YOU HAVE TO MAKE THREADS LIKE THIS BUT IT'S GOING TO STOP BECAUSE THIS PLACE WILL BE SHUT DOWN AND DELETED SO FUCK YOU ALL.

"Hitler was right, we should have been sterilized"

I have to get ready for work

You're right, only a faggot would say this. Not a black person.

I am HIV negative

"Both of my parents are white"

Jeenkies Scoob, let's play scrabble

Bullshit, black people spout this garbage on tumblr and facebook almost all the time.

God damn, read the fucking OP now matter what faggot wrote it before posting.

yes officer i will do what you say

>where's my fake tan spray?

I take responsibility for my actions

No, faggots got fed to the ovens. Hitler thought the googles were good for labor, but didn't want them mixing with Germans.

"My house cost more then my car"

I have a question that I would like to ask.

My 401k is really doing swell!

I don't care for fried chicken.

May I please borrow that?

That sure was a long day of work that I sweated through to provide for the family I love.

...

...

Look. No really. Look.

My nose is too pointy

...

>Black Lives Matter is a misguided movement with race as the basis of discrimination rather than acknowledging the fact that all US civilians are physically at the mercy of their government and its goons at all times

"may i please have ... thank you very much"

"i really do look like harambe"

Thank you officer.

"one of my parents is white"

'My name is Toby!"

"My mother left before I was born"

I finished a job application

Go to bed son. I'll take you to school in the morning.

...

my sides..........

Thanks for the warning officer!

/thread

"tyler perry is untalented and his stereotypical comedy is offensive, not funny"

"did you see that green flag photo finish this weekend?! good race."

"can I ask you a question?"