>2 WEEKS AGO >friend calls me >didn't from her for 1 year >says she got depressed after we stopped talking >says she missed her entire 3rd year at uni because of the depression >says she wants to try to be friends again >I feel bad for her and still care, but don't really want to be friends >tell her I know she can make new friends, be happy without me, etc >she sounds completely defeated >she isn't convinced, but says she doesn't want to force a friendship if I don't want it >I remind her I care and wish her well
>NEXT DAY >she tried to kill herself >I call her >she sounds nervous, but not defeated >she insists she doesn't want to force me to help her if I don't want to >says she's worked on going back to uni >says she'll try to make new friends >asks if we can talk again in 7 weeks >I say yes, but I can't promise it'd be a regular thing
It's been 2 weeks since and I haven't heard from her.
How much can someone change in 7 weeks if they tried as hard as they could?
A great deal, speaking from experience. I've completely changed in single days.
Jose Howard
That's great to hear. Just curious, did your significant change manifest in action? I was wondering about demonstrable change, not just changes of heart
John Flores
bumping
Really don't want her to kill herself, idk if I did the right thing
Caleb Murphy
cut her off bro. you don't need this drama or bullshit in your life.
Jaxon Moore
I don't think it's drama or bullshit, I'm worried what would happen if I just cut it off cold turkey
Adrian Evans
not your problem m8
John Rogers
friends? is she hot? she probably like you. fuck her.
a chick i knew was suicidal and she used me for support. i saved her life. not that its much of one. she fell in love with me and i went with it till she was stable and ended it. broke her heart but she is alive.
you are not responsable for her but hey, is it so hard to help someone out when they need it?
Landon Ward
she'll throw you to the curb once she "gets better."
if you just cut her off her depression will likely worsen, maybe she'll kill herself or not. it really sounds like she is crying for help. you're not responsible for her though, helping a depressed person is difficult and emotionally taxing. you don't have to help her if you don't think that you can take that. though you should encourage her to go to a therapist and ask her family for help if she doesn't have friends.
James Anderson
It is drama, and it is bullshit
Josiah Edwards
>asks for advice >dismisses based advice
opisfag
Jayden Bailey
I know it feels all nice and warm inside when you are needed, and able to help someone. It makes u feel beter about yourself. But, trust me, it is not worth it.
Caleb Bell
OP here, just went out to buy some drinks.
Sure doesn't feel that way. I'm not the kind of person that can just switch off their feelings on this kind of thing.
Yeah she's hot, but I doubt she's looking to fuck.
>is it so hard to help someone out when they need it? I get it, but this is a lot heavier than just helping someone out
She wouldn't just drop me if I help her through this. I'm the one that ended the friendship initially, and she misses me a lot, it's just that I don't really feel the same way.
>helping a depressed person is difficult and emotionally taxing. I know, and it's hard for me to fully accept that she's not my responsibility. At this point I'm just hoping she'll change enough in 5 weeks to make me feel more open to being friends.
I'm not completely dismissing his point. Like I said, it's hard for me to just let this go.
Why not?
Jaxson King
Regardless of whether or not you think you should, do you want to help?
I feel like that should be your starting point well before you even consider whether or not you should help.
Hunter Thomas
Yeah she's hot, but I doubt she's looking to fuck. shell fuck you lol. your her only or best friend. unless your ugly.
how is it hard? what is she asking of you?
Samuel Brooks
I just got a complete change of mindset. I used to be a complete cynical nihilistic bastard but that changed literally over night. I just considered that "I can be this person, do I really want to be this way for the rest of my life?" To which the answer was obviously no.
Such a change can only result in doing different actions than before. I'm much happier with who and what I have become.
James Cruz
>taking advantage of someone in a very vulnerable situation literal psychopath or just edgy? just make sure, that she is not left alone. make sure she goes to a competent therapist and asks family members for help. if you don't want to help at least do the bare minimum. nothing else you have to do.
Andrew Gray
>Regardless of whether or not you think you should, do you want to help? I'm actually not sure. I agreed to talk with her again because I was still shaken up about her suicide attempt, but I don't know if I want to make the commitment to help.
She'd want to talk (not sure if she'd be okay with just messaging) a lot more often, and maybe get lunch every now and then. It's difficult because I started to feel uncomfortable with her, which is why I ended the friendship. I don't really want to force myself to spend time with her
Jaxson Mitchell
>taking advantage of someone im not saying rape her you fucking moron. sif she is dtf then fuck. whats wrong with you?
Nicholas Wilson
>to feel uncomfortable with her why
Adrian Sullivan
do you seriously not know what taking advantage of someone means? she is in a position where OP could easily pressure her into consenting or where she already feels pressured without him doing anything. you'd need to be very fucking egoistic to take advantage of her.
Isaiah Howard
she is an adult not a child you autist. she can make her own choices. so depressed people cant fuck in your mind?
grow up.
Christopher Ramirez
I'm really glad to hear that. It's unlikely that she'd change that drastically that quickly, but I hope she changes enough.
I'm happy for you too, user. Stay happy, friend. Keep focused.
Yeah, I did talk to her about that stuff. She said she doesn't want to talk to her family about it because of shame, and she'd consider seeing a therapist, but it doesn't feel like telling her that stuff is enough. Like you said, it's the bare minimum, but I don't feel like it's right to leave her with only that much
She just started becoming more and more awkward, not as funny or witty or clever as she used to be. She explained 2 weeks ago it was a result of anxiety issues
Christopher Mitchell
>She just started becoming more and more awkward, not as funny or witty or clever as she used to be. She explained 2 weeks ago it was a result of anxiety issues lol wow. you sound like a real shitty friend. anyway hang with her for a while if you dont like it bail. simple.
give it a chance what do you have to loose.
Caleb Foster
>she is an adult not a child you autist. she can make her own choices. an adult in a compromising situation. adults can and are very often pressured or manipulated into doing actions they wouldn't do if they were in a better situation. of course depressed people can fuck but you are suggesting to use her depressing so she fucks OP. am i being baited here? you need to make up your mind wether you want to help her or not. i'm getting mixed messages here.
Elijah Gomez
>anyway hang with her for a while if you dont like it bail great way to get her to go for another suicide attempt...
Logan Jackson
lol do you treat everyone you know like a little child? how insulting.
chick wants to fuck and you say know shes going to the bar and getting fucked. you ever afraid a chick will say yes to your advances while your depressed and that youll be taken advantage of? you fucking puss. you patronize women. i believe in equality.
Samuel Bennett
Is her name Becky?
Joshua Cook
Might help if you sit her down and ask her who she wants to be and what she'll do to become that person. If she can't self-reflect to ask those questions of herself, having someone else ask her those questions might give her the push in the right direction she needs.
With depressed people, generally doing things just helps. With her it might help doing things for herself that she at first gets acknowledged by a third party. Just start real simple and praise her for it, then do bigger things gradually.
"You had a good breakfast today and did some chores? Very good, you're doing great!" Since it is better than not doing those things. Depressed people tend to be sloths/negligent of themselves.
David Rogers
shes a manipulative cunt trying to control her environment with passive aggressive behavior and playing the victim. it's that simple. the sooner u realize and let go the better. if u start thinking that sorting her shit out is your responsibility u already lost. best u can do is refer her to a therapist and a psychiatrist.
Nathan Walker
as opposed to leaving her high and dry? its the same thing.
Ryder Perez
It sounds kind of shitty, but I mean I put up with the awkwardness for over a year. We hung out and talked and I really tried to have fun, but it just got progressively more difficult. I initiated things less and less.
That's why I'm really hoping she changes! Because I do miss the way she was before, and I honestly think she can be like that again.
>you need to make up your mind wether you want to help her or not. i'm getting mixed messages here. The conflict for me is because I still care about her, but I don't know if I want to commit to helping her. I'm starting to lean toward putting in the effort, though.
Levi James
> manipulate her and turn her into your slut > easy asf with deppresed chicks
James Phillips
bullshit assumptions. is that the only thing you have left to say? nah, giving her hope and then just dropping her like a hot potato is going to be pretty devastating for her mental health. >I'm starting to lean toward putting in the effort, though. i'm glad to hear that. if you do though, please make sure you won't change your mind halfway through. google for tips on how to deal with depressed people, i'm sure there is lots to find.
Carter Smith
Nope.
Those things sound like it could help her a lot. I really see how the "negligent of themselves" thing lines up with what she said. Saving this post, thank you very much, user.
I might've been more inclined to believe that if she didn't actually try to kill herself. And it's hard to draw the line between playing the victim and legitimately asking for help, but to me it really felt like she was legitimately asking for help.
Andrew Gomez
This is a stupid fucking thread!
Aiden Rodriguez
More than likely its just a chem imbalanxe with the brain she can be completey back to normal in 7 weeks or still a fucking wreck either way you should have tried to get nudes you fucking faggot
Ian Cook
well, is she dead? no. typical attention seeking. no doubt, she needs help. professional help. key word professional. depression is a very serious illness. if she broke her leg u wouldn't try to fix it yourself, u would bring her to a doctor.
James Wright
You sound as fun as a blanket some homeless dude peed on
Aaron Davis
>i'm glad to hear that. if you do though, please make sure you won't change your mind halfway through. I won't. I really care about her and I know I'd have to really commit to it.
>google for tips on how to deal with depressed people, i'm sure there is lots to find. I will. I didn't do it before because I didn't want to get too emotionally invested before I knew what I was going to do, but now that I really think I'll help her out, I'll look for more info. Thanks for all the input, user.
>if she broke her leg u wouldn't try to fix it yourself, u would bring her to a doctor. I did already recommend she see a therapist, and I think I have more influence over her depression than broken bones, but I get where you're coming from. This might sound dumb, but you brought up a really good point about depression being serious. I'll recommend a therapist to her more strongly next time.
Leo Gomez
Depends if i had a doctor also firat aid is a thing your example sucks and your mom dresses you funny
Nicholas Morales
OP i have experience with that kind of things. but in your situation theres only one thing you can do. it may be a tough move but it might be the only right one. and this best move is to post nudes of her