It's time.
No need for any context. Just vent and let it all out.
It's time.
No need for any context. Just vent and let it all out.
I once snuck into a dude who stole my gf from men's backyard and stole all the marijuana he was growing in his backyard. (I live in Colorado so it was technically legal) it wasn't ready to be smoked so I piled it in a school playground and poured gasoline on it and burnt it all. True story
Not being full of myself just completely honest I'm not terrible looking and I have a decent personality and I've always been a great friend but currently have absolutely no friends due to lack of social interaction and investing in the wrong people. I am not great at school and currently have no job and I am 18. I have a boyfriend who is a great scholar and will probably be very successful. Idk wtf to do with my life after breaking it off with my alcoholic abusive best friend
Even if that happened, I wonder what the point would be.
I fucked a suicidal girl last night who has big DD titties that are covered in scars.
It was hot af and now i have a scar fetish
The banks and the mass media are disproportionately influenced by the people on this list:
Also, if you want to know how the people on this list got to be where they are, start reading at page 12 in this book:
I WANT MY TENDIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE\
what a clusterfuck of an image jesus christ
I don't know why I suffer from such crippling depression.
I'm fairly well-off and am going to school. I haven't been betrayed, I get along great with my family. I have at least 1 good friend. But this pain has been going on continually for years. I don't get it.
same here. I guess it's just our brain that's fucked up or something.. Is it bad for you or manageable? I dont take any meds or something. Maybe i should. The only thing i do is drink myself almost into a come every weekend
This is my first time on Cred Forums in like 6 years. I missed you guys, everything here is different now but for some reason I was drawn back here, probably because I'm drunk. So did I miss much?
Working in the porn world ruins all porn for you forever....seeing how most of the girls need drugs to perform and hook. The rest just try not to have sex ruined for them.
control is present and the planet is dying
i thought i could understand why i am depressed, but there is nothing to understand for me. Dont get me wrong i know why i get my lows and the reasons for it, i know why i have the depression in the first place, but even with medication there is nothing that prevents me from having these low points where i cant do anything productive, with or without energy to do them doesnt even matter, i see no point then.
i ve given up on preventing them, i just try to anticipate them and to prepare, everything else is just useless
I went in to get 'help' when it started around 6 years ago, they basically told me to take meds and little else. I've heard horror stories from shit like that so I never did it.
It comes in phases, lasting about 2-3 weeks each. It has almost always been like this. During the best of times I can function, and even enjoy the little things in life; having dinner with friends/co-workers, flirting with girls, and so on. During the worst of times it gnaws at me and my mind like a feral hungry rat and never stops. It' I slack off at work and school and feel like there's this extraordinarily heavy weight around me at all times. The misery is so bad it actually physically HURTS. Like, really bad. It's the worst when I wake up, and before I go to sleep. And I never have any energy. I consider this one of the reasons why I can't get ahead, despite having fairly above-average intelligence.
Actually, I specifically stay away from alcohol during the bad phases. Usually I just play vidya if it's particularly bad do detract me from my thinking, or take a long walk in the evening. But that usually just makes me feel emptier. Still better than drinking though. Especially since several members of the family are or have been raging alcoholics. I don't want to deal with that.
I could go on.
How can circumcision still be performed on men?
It is illegal. Wouldn't that make all doctors that performed this procedure at risk of losing their medical license?
I FUCKING HATE THIS COUNTRY I MOVED TO! There is no such thing as customer service, if the waitress fucks up your order, you are shit out of luck unless you pay again for the food you originally ordered. The goddamn internet companies here are full of faggots who cant tell what time it is. Its too fucking hot here all the time, and there are mosquitos everyfuckingwhere.
I want a goddamn gyro, some goddamn tzatziki sauce, fries, and a cold RC cola. And i gotta settle for the shittiest verison of an americano hamburger with sweet potato chips with a lukewarm coke. Fuck coke, fuck everyone who likes coke, and fuck this place
I hate this world. Plug me into the Matrix, please.
damn son.. I can relate sort of. The thing is, i dont know how bad it is for me since i'm me and no one else.. I dont know how bad other people has it, but i feel pretty shit most of the time. I also have pretty severe anxiety issues so that's a BIG reason i havent sought help for this shit. Idk why really, if you have anxiety as well you probably know what i mean. I Know it can only help to seek help but for some reason it feels 'safer' or better to keep my issues to myself.. Anyway, Hope you are doing better soon. No one should feel this way, it's fucking garbage
Oh yeah, and then there's the viscous cycle of guilt which goes something like this: feeling depressed →feeling guilty because I don't have it that bad → trying to figure out WHY I feel this way and then → feeling guilty and even MORE depressed because I just can't figure it out.
And it doesn't help that I'm super-sensitive and get in a mood easily over stupid stuff. If anything actually negative were to happen to me, I'd probably be at the brink of suicide.
Fuck depression.
I miss her terribly and feel as though someone has died with her gone. Yet I also harbour lots of bitterness at the same time. It's very confusing.
i try to enjoy everything i can get as long as it lasts, while waiting for the next hit.
i know its properly just empty talk, but that stuff is in your head, not a part of you, you are not responsibe for what happens or why you feel that way
medication helps me deal with life better, its not a stop button, but it helps even the scales
>that no gf feeling
I'm 26 yeas old, and it's been 10 years. Kill me now.
I'm one of internet stereotype complete with depression and I hate myself for it.
>if you have anxiety as well you probably know what i mean
Oh believe me user, I do. I have to mentally prepare myself to make a fucking phone call.
Yeah i know that feel bro.. I actually attempted sucide one time while drunk and high as fuck.. 1/10 dont recommend. Pretty fucked up actually, i tried to hang myself and the old ass rope i had used snapped. i cried alone for probably 2-3 hours after. Dont try it please, the world will miss you im sure
Holy shit.
How the FUCK did this become a feels thread?
i dont even make phone calls . and i have to go to court this tuesday. I feel like im going to throw up every time i think about it. Having panic attacks and shit, fuck my life
because secrets are just the prelude for feels?
when i was 17 i took my dads pistol, made sure it was loaded, unlocked the safety, put it up to my head and pulled the trigger. gun jammed, so i put it back and never told anyone. i know ill kill myself eventually.
Dare i say, secrets and feels are the same thing
>dare i say
just how british are you?
My dad flipped his pill bottles upside down while he was away, and I was at home as a way to see if I fucked with them/took anything. I've never felt so disrespected and insulted.
I miss you
...
Reflecting on how socially retarded I was in High School
I tried to off myself a week ago.
I failed.
I have a meeting with a shrink arranged though, so that's nice.
I hate this place. I hate it yet I find myself coming back here every day
sitting in the park and a bunch of monkeys invite themselves and one starts pawing at me and touching my long hair. my mental illness does not like monkeys touching me but perhaps monkeys can learn to show some class and whiten up
I've spent every single day of the last 4 years of my life convincing myself not to kill myself.
One would think I have no reason to do this. I live in Norway, have amazing friends, have a girlfriend who loves me, a sibling that loves me, and constant positivity around me. However, my father is a war veteran from Iraq, or more specifically Kurdistan. He fought Saddam's army for years as a Peshmerga, and witnessed several of his friends and his older brother be murdered by the Iraqi army. As a result of this and several other famly issues, not to mention being a refugee, he ended up with an anger issue, which he would take out on his family. I've had my arm broken and burnt (which has left me with a scar that has been visible for 14 years), several bruises and wounds, cuts, and had to have get stitches because of him. Everytime he has insisted it was my fault for angering him, and as a result I have grown up always blaming myself for anything that has happened to me. I have been destroyed mentally by both my mother and my father, and temporarily disabled by them. Yet for some reason I kept quiet about it until recently. My father attempted to destroy my computer, one of the few joys left in my life, and I lost it. A fight broke loose, and I pummeled his sorry ass. He's currently in his late 40's, and has a plate in his back due to a broken back and shoulder. I then took him to court and he is currently serving a 10 year sentence for what he has done to me. I then contacted child protection services for my younger brother.
My life without my father is significantly better than what it was with him, but unfortunately I am still scarred. I have often panic attacks, and have been diagnosed with anxiety, depression and fucking PTSD of all things, by a professional Psychiatrist or w/e you native english speakers call it, in cooperation with my doctor.
I don't get "triggered" per se, but I have almost constant nightmares of my father. This has affected my ability to function in society significantly, and I am now a jobless wreck of a woman.
I'm currently living in torment and fear for the future, but I can cope. I'm no pussy. I am going through all the help that I can, and working towards a brighter future, because I want to be better. All the stupid cartoons and anime I watched when younger has given me this relentless will to keep going, and I am happy I did.
Also, I should mention I am trans and fully middle eastern by blood. All that is missing is puke green hair and I can scream "triggered" and "white privilege" as fucking much as I want to.
Too bad I'm not that much of a human waste, or maybe that is for the better.
Although I valued our friendship, it's become apparent that we can no longer be friends. I respect free speech and all that, but when you do nothing but bitch and moan about blacks, Jews, Muslims, and Chinese people all day, I really can't be bothered being your 'friend' anymore, especially now that you consider yourself a Nazi. I mean really though? You're not even white, but you're heralding the same white supremacy you used to be against earlier this year. You've gone full-Tila Tequila, and I can't be bothered to be associated with that kind of person anymore. I mean, how long before you decide to turn on me, your only non-white or Asian friend? How long until you no longer even consider me a 'friend?' You know I dislike 'niggers' as much as you do, but the line between blacks and niggers is clearly blurred to you, so I've been wondering how that affects how you view me. I sit back and let you go on and on about the things you like and don't like, but the minute I do it (unless it's ranting about niggers), you want me to shut the hell up about it. That, and/or you disappear for several months. And what if we actually were to meet in real life...would you be smiling and waving with one hand, with your other hand firmly on your colt revolver, ready to gun me down the attosecond you think I'm about to 'chimp out?' Not to mention, of course, I'd have to wear gloves just to be in your country, which based on how you're behaving, can't be any better than China or Korea socially (despite you constantly bitching about them being oh-so-racist).
But that's fine. All that's fine. I'll kind of miss you, but I had to get rid of you. I've already been the kind of person who hates entire groups of people for one trivial reason or another, and my life's a fucking mess now because of it. I don't want to join you in your hate anymore, especially when a good portion of it may be directed at me at any given moment.
cont
I need to pee but I don't want to get up
ganna break up with my gf in 2 days when i see her not looking to be in a relationship its not for me too stressful
the most horrible thing i have read all day
You crept into his backyard while he was creeping into your girl.
Go see a real doctor.
told a girl i love her today on facebook.... no reply...
m8 I'll be your friend
I posted here once about how I lost my virginity on the night that I graduated high school and I'm married with kids with that same person but she was my first and only. I wonder if I fucked up sometimes. I love my kids tho, it fucks with my heads
off by one faggot better luck next time!
where the fuck is this?
I sleep in my own cum
My doctor is a state professional, he recommended me to the psych and is keeping a close eye on me. The norwegian health care system is very good, so I'm not worried about that.
Which, might I add, is strange, considering even you said you've slept with a black guy before. And not just any black guy, but a straight up African; he apparently had his dick down your throat. Why was that? You say you hate blacks, yet you're sleeping with them. Wouldn't sleep with me, of course, because I'm such a 'weak-willed weeaboo' to you, right? I just don't know how you did a total 180º like you did, but that's fine; it's your life, your views, and I can respect your right to both.
But between you, those two Japanese girls, and those European friends (and that one apparent Chinese friend) of yours, I feel our friendship is not only in question, but also my own life and aspirations. I know the average Japanese person and Japanese culture aficionado (like myself) aren't bigoted like you and your friends, but you know what? I receive better treatment from my Korean friends than I do from you. Where do you get off talking to me like a child, when I'm over 5 years above you? Right, because I allow it. Just like how I allow you to tell me how 'racist' the Chinese and Koreans are, while you have no problem calling me and other blacks you know things like
>boon
>coon
>nigger
>jiggaboo
>porch-monkey
and any other new, edgy word you learn from Cred Forums. I allow it; I don't get upset when you do.
But, I digress. As I've said before, if this is all you're about, I don't want anything more to do with you. I'm sorry it's come to this.
Det ordner seg! Ikke gi opp!
...
Tusen takk!
I WANNA FUCK EVERY BIG BOOTY WOMAN IT DONT MATTER IF IM A HUSBAND FATHER I JUST WANT SOME PASSIONATE FUCKING FOR FUCK SAKE WHILE SHE SUCKS MY CUM OFF MY DICK N KEEP SUCKING IT
I have no experience with the opposite sex. I can talk to women easily enough and I'm not bad looking (6'3, athletic, Army Vet). I see all of this hotness around me at school, yet I find it difficult to make a connection with any of it. It seems like I am missing the key to getting these girls in the sack and I would like to find it. Lost my virginity to a hooker a few years back, and periodically fuck them just to reorient myself so I know what I'm doing. What is it like to share your life with someone who genuinely enjoys your company as much as you enjoy theirs?
POTATONIGGERMULEHORSECOCKSHITASSFROGCUNT
it's starting to hurt, but not enough to motivate me
also, I'm watching Naruto even though it's terrible, I just needed to understand what it is. So I'm not even entertaining myself or doing anything worth while
I fucking hate my social life. I don't have many friends and the ones I do have constantly flake on me, disrespect me, and pay me no mind. The only reason I'm semi-popular in school is because of the fact that I have a twin and people see that as "cool"
>"Durr what's it like having a twin?"
>"Are you twins?"
My parents are awesome. but when they get angry they 180 and are equivalent to Satan himself. Every day is the same fucking drivel as the last, and I'm so fucking tired of it. I go on this site for comfort and then get repulsed because of the shit on here. Every single day it's the same cringy s/fur, trap, "you jelly whiteboi", rekt, and fluffy abuse threads. Every so often there is a golden nugget, but not often enough.
I ruined everything. They're both better off. They will live happier lives than I would ever hope for. I'm going to throw my life away to support her financially. Even if she hates me for it, even if it kills me.
I'm lonely
im depressed.... dont know why im even here
>I once snuck into a dude
Well you're not alone
get a job?
meet people there
pretty fucking obvious
good job dropping the alcoholic friend, that's hard to do, but is the best choice for sure
Hallelujah
*activate VPN and Macspoof*
im going to kill my father one day, and it shall be gud
I fucking can't wait to move out. I'm so god damn tired of this shit house and my unemployed family. I'm 17 and the only person in the house with a job, all my money goes to my parents and I wanna off myself at this point. The second I turn 18 im moving out with some friends and we're splitting an apartment, and that can't come any sooner.
it's everyone over 20, maybe 25, on here
I want to fuck my friends niece so badly. She's 14 bit she looks like 17 or 18 and she's thick, her ass is so round. I'd love to feel her ass in my hands. She's so fucking cute too it's ridiculous. I can't stand seeing her. I die every time I see her. She honestly gets me more riled than the 18 yo cutie at our church. She's just so full, her tits are big I want to suck on them so much.
Even though i'm substantially successful in my career, I hate may life. I know I will kill myself once my mother passes because she's the only person I don't want to hurt.
Radiohead suck. So does Neutral Milk Hotel.
Everyday your a faggot.
I moved across the country , I'm alone. I am on mushrooms (good trip) however I feel so alone ..been single 12 months .. Just feeling rough cuz I feel it doesn't matter if I express how I'm feeling , it will take time ...ugh
I had a dream about my wife putting a dildo in my butt and I liked it. It was super vivid, seemed completely real, even hurt a little
I want my gf to lick my asshole clean. I also want her to fart on my mouth and let me rim her ass at the same time.
I'm 20
Just got back on my meds after two days off them because a friend has liver cancer and I went to visit him in the hospital in another city and had to go a few nights without my meds. I wanna kill myself and I don't want to feel this way and it sucks. Life sucks.
>All other boards vs. Cred Forums
I kinda miss the voices. Sometimes they weren't that bad, just someone to talk to.
I'm so fucking happy that I stopped smoking weed. I fucking hate what I was now that I'm sober and supported. Fuck that bullshit disconnection that was my entire being.
It was really just me vs one person. She's out of my life now....I hope.
my life is pretty awesome
I have an excellent job, where I get to work from home and barely do anything 90% of the time, and I make 80k (US) plus a yearly bonus that's usually around 8k
I married a genuine 10/10 last year, who I've been with for almost 10 years and have barely ever fought with and she's amazing in bed
We're having our first kid soon, and I love kids
We bought our first house recently and it seems like it was made for us and didn't need any work at all
everyone in my family gets along and helps each other
I have great friends that support me
damn, that felt good to get off my chest!
I think I'm a sociopath, and i fucking love it.
Why? Noting will come of it. Instead, try and experience more. Nothing is stopping you. Just ignore your own bullshit and you've won 75% of the battle.
it feels great
I recommend it
ask her to do it
the rimming at least, farts are nasty
I still miss her
same.
we miss you too
I'm 45 and have made so many bad choices in life. I wish it was over.
Niggers are trying to start a race war.
We owned them with whips and chains. Imagine today's tech.
How long you been here?
I reached that point after probably three years, but didn't come often up to that point
Do you think your experience with your parents pushed you in the tranny direction?
I have no interest in her any more because I know we aren't compatible; it was painfully obvious to me once we started getting intimate.
It bugs me so much that after we broke up you went and fucked a guy and now are having sex, saying I "unlocked" you. I get so fucking jealious every time you tell me about things.
_____________________________
Also the other one was amazing but I know she'd cheat on me again and I can't take care of the kid now even if it's all I want to do. I just can't. I know he's better off where he is now. Fuck.
I'm socially retarded and it makes me want to kill myself. Had this beautiful girl hit on me today but I'm to busy trying to rationalize in my mind that she's just being nice because why would she ever be into me? What's the point of life if I will never be able to close the deal with a female, it's fucking terrifying.
I was 15, she was 14, we were together for 7 years, almost 8. She lived in another city at the time when we broke up, she started going out to parties, find out from accidental pictures on her friends facebook page she'd been flirty with some guys, and apparently it was nothing new
It's been 10 months now since we broke up and I still haven't talked to another girl, not even tried
In any way
She moved back after being done with school, lives with her parents
I still drive her around some times when she wants to go shopping
She makes me happy but we'll never kiss again for sure
Never anything, anymore
Welcome back user.
The biggest news is recently Moot sold Cred Forums to Hiroki, the bloke who runs the Japanese 2ch and Niconico. It sounds like some joke, but I kid you not.
Cred Forums doesn't really have raids anymore like we used to back then. We don't even really storm social media anymore. Usually >>Cred Forums does that shit nowadays.
In terms of memes, trollface is out of fashion. You just never see him anymore. People post various manifestations of Pepe now.
Cred Forums has lost its teeth and has basically become a porn and roll board. I can't even remember the last raid. I guess we've gotten more docile in our older years.
I have considered watching this show for the exact same purposes. Never really had access to it when I was a kid, and now it's on netflix. Went one episode in and turned it off.
I honestly can't say I see that much of a correlation. Why? Do you think my experiences could possibly warrant that?
My girlfriend of two years left me and I'm seriously turning into a NEET. I'm thirty years old and don't know anyone in the area so I can't get any drugs to forget about how shitty life is. I have the most horrible and bizarre dreams every night and constant anxiety and depression about literally nothing at all. I pretend like I'm doing okay but inside I just feel like curling up into a ball and crying. I can only really be honest about how I feel with people who don't know me.
I don't really expect any input or replies, I just feel like I have to get it off my chest because sometimes it feels like it's smothering me.
I did the exact same a while ago, then I was wondering if maybe it got slightly better, since they are just kids at the beginning and I thought it might mature a little
it does, but not enough
one out of 20 episodes is interesting
I'm watching everything that's on netflix though, I will complete my research
I just moved to season 4
I have no idea how I'm gonna swipe my v card before I'm in my 20s at least
You're young. If you're not being tormented by your parents, just be happy. You're gonna look back on high school and wish you had more balls so just throw away any reguard of social status and do. Try and fuck the hottest girl you can, and just go down the line till someone takes you.
i know she's too young for me but if she wants it she wants it
I know the feels. I'm sorry user.
Max?
Pussy is the answer.
She's got another dick to keep her company, and from the sound of it much better company.
No kys like Feeling is not mutual believe me.
Hypocrite faggot.
tl;dr
You should write a book.
Fuck around it helps.
Who doesn't.
Niggradomas
No one cares what you do, especially her.
I watched bleach too
it wasn't quite as bad, but still bad
Fuck my life
>Niggradomas
>
What are you 40. Post creepshots you fucking lowlife I know you have them.
Ugh what a faggot
Totalled my car
This girl I fucked when I was in the air force in 1999 is claiming that her kid is mine and I just 2 weeks ago got a notice that I have to get a DNA test done so I can pay child support. The kid was born in 19 fucking 99. FUCK everything about this
I like a girl but I've fucked up so much she thinks I'm a closeted gay
Not for so long
I started hating myself cuz i know that i'll never going to be good enough for my parents, or anybody else
I thought I was the only one
How so, user?
Hey I'm a 30yo neet too, welcome to the club friend! Is it your mother's basement or guest room you are currently occupying?
I cringed so hard my asshole almost came out of my penis. Cut it cold turkey you stupid fucking idiot. Some people omg smh
I have a wide range of emotions that i use music and reading to relieve. Im very emotional in private so then im not an emotional little brat when i interact with people.
Thanks user. Sorry you know the feels as well.
Spare bedroom that I rent. I actually pay for all my shit, so I guess there's that, but still. I was renting a shed behind a friend's house for a while, but he bailed and left me with the full rent for the property (which I couldn't afford) so it was either move back in with my parents or go back to the streets, and I swore I'd never do that again. Feels terrible.
Fuck yeah, keep on doing it man!
I'm 30 and I was 12 in '99. Godam your one old nigger. If it's not yours it's not yours what's the big hullabaloo
I wish I knew how you felt about me. I wish I could tell you how I feel about you.
If all of Japan is really as bigoted as you two broads, I might as well just focus on learning Mandarin and Korean.
Your not a neet you fucking poser get out of my club this instant.
Difficult to say. Any Neuroscience says that a decision like that is based on a mixture of both genetic predispositions and experiences in life and how they shape you to react to ideas. As long as you're happy I suppose.
Why the fuck didn't they sell a sturdier rope?!
GOD DAMN IT
I joked about it once and she took it serious and now tells me about all the cute guys she sees and says I need to find a guy for this dance coming up
user here again. I actulally liked bleach, but only because it was the first anime I ever really got into (excluding dbz, pokemon, and yugioh cartoons as a kid).
> Sorry for stalking you Mrs. X. I had social anxiety and the only way I had to interact with women was with phone calls.
> I'm getting a 20% raise with my new job . . . I fucking deserve it.
> LGBTQIA are OK in the abstract, but I don't wanna be around them.
> A few strategically timed deaths would make me a rich man . . . here's hoping!
> tom green is a fat nigger x 6
Oh I see. I do believe it was a choice of mine to become trans, as I have yet to see evidence for it being a biological factor that influenced me to do this. So maybe it was the experiences. I've been told that I act too feminine by my parents countless times, and been restricted from a lot of experiences because of their inherent that comes with Islam in general. That may be part of it.
You're almost off the hook anyway right? Next year, the little guy will be all grown up amirite?
inherent sexism*
The twin thing happens to me too even in my friend group of about 6 people (one being my twin) they refer to us as "the twins"
I'm tired
>user here again
>I actulally liked bleach
the cringe matches well
Not in school, don't work, not in training. Neetbux for being fucked in the head is the only thing that keeps me afloat. My dad always compliments me on being so punctual about paying my share of the bills, but it feels like being complimented for not being a useless piece of shit. Except, well, I kind of am. I wish I weren't terrified of going out in public and talking to people. I wish I could take a vacation from life and come back with a clearer head.
I'm studying abroad in Japan and my host mother has been eating my cum in her food from the first week I got here. I want to stop but I can't
I fucked a whore last night without a franger in my delusional drunk state
very fucking worried right now
I want to leave my fiancé because I now have depression and am slowly leaning back into suicide, but I don't feel like I can because we have a child together. She doesn't seem to want to change from her own depression and it's now spreading to me.
The first arc was the best, never saw it coming (didn't realize it was a common trope in Anime because this was really my first one). All of the arcs after that, especially the filler, wasn't as good at all.
IDK, what else would I say. "Me here again", or "hey I'm the guy who said this again". Seems like 'user' fits pretty well
Despise my father, mother, and brother.
Not w/o reason.
I wonder if I'm as big a piece of shit as they.
never saw what coming?
I didn't even recognize anything being a surprise
and I'm honestly curious, maybe I'm just not remembering
Iv shit my pants on purpose
nothing...
it's pretty obvious (and doesn't even matter) that you were continuing a conversation
good job making sure I didn't confuse you with the other anons
Oh ok. I'm rent free. I never leave my house, just walking my dog makes me feel awkward, thinking everyone is looking at me and wondering what it is I do all day. Been here almost a year and I haven't met one new person. But I have my PS4 and you fuckers and life isn't so bad.
I've failed my first year of college and I can't afford rent. I'm stupid, I've made terrible choices.
Leaving my ex-wife probably saved her life because it allowed her to hit rock bottom and start the road to recovery from her alcoholism. She may never realize this, and will probably hate me forever for leaving her. I regret it for my own selfish reasons every day.
i never really do anything that special for my girlfriend, since i've moved from Florida for her.
but I text her saying tomorrow i'm gonna have special surprises for her tomorrow our cab driver gonna be a rich man, i sent a random emoji to annoy her it was the panda one, she assumes im gonna take her to the fucking chinese buffet thats $10 per person because of it like how low do you think of me
i told her nah its way over 200 and tell her its offensive she thinks special surprises mean a fuccin $20 chinese buffet that we've been to way to many times.
then shes like chill fag ttyl your pissing me off
lol!
At least your not a faggot.
also it sucks how i got my first job for her to continue living 10 minutes away, and she doesn't even say ''how was work?'' she isn't even concerned.
yesterday was shit though
I hate my job because I don't do anything all day. But whenever I tell people that, they think I'm crazy for not enjoying standing aroud for 10.50 an hour.
walmart ?
you're a faggot for saying your
Never saw Aizen being the big bad guy at the end of the Soul Society Arc. Though he was dead and the slit eyed dude killed him. This was around 2007-8 when I first watched that part in the series. I thought it was pretty good, just wish they would have ended the series better. Not really into anime anymore, though occasionally I will go through a 26 episode series on netflix, or rewatch a classic.
No, delivery driver. But there aren't many deliveries.
I absolutely despise my life. It's horrible. I've been living in my car on and off for over a year. Gf keeps kicking me out. I'm too broke to get my own place so I just have to deal with it. I don't have anyone I can talk to about this because it's just so horrible and pathetic.
I stopped hanging out with all of my friends a few years ago to make things work out with her, only it just keeps getting worse and now I don't really have anyone who I can turn to. My job sucks because she's my superior there so when she's pissed she takes it out on me there. Oh my god it's so horrible.
I don't know if I want to live anymore.
I'd like to think I'm pretty thorough, even if it does reach the point of being redundant.
Nvm, your a faggot too.
I fucking try so hard. I always put on this big douchebag charade whenever I'm in public to go with how I look. But I have severe image issues and the only time I can look myself in the mirror is when I'm lifting. Everyone tells me I'm big, handsome, awesome, cool. But if it's all a fucking mask that fades as soon as you get to know me what's the fucking point. I tried so hard to be popular but im in college and somehow don't have any close friends every girl I ever find attractive has a boyfriend. The only person I ever cared about moved on and said they regretted no being with me. I wish I had never started lifting and was still the insecure little fatass I was 4 years ago. At least than when I went outside I could be myself
I'm growing more dillusional for every day. I'm trying to deny it but people are starting to notice it.
Currently talk to one girl (I'm majorly socially autistic ) so this is a big achievement for me. Been talking to her for almost 200 days now, at times I feel we are really close but then at other times I feel like she doesn't give a flying fuck about me. Finally got the balls to ask her on a date to movie ( I,was being really fucking retarded in asking and I think she knew that and sent me a photo of her fits) she said yes. This was about 2 weeks ago and I just haven't got the balls to do this (probably due to my depression kicking in) and I'm contemplating just blocking her on,everything and say goodbye before blocking
My roommate just dumped a chill dude to go out with an alcoholic. Bitches are dumb as shit
pic of dick or u lying
that's called autism
*you're
Jessica, you made me believe in Love again.
And then you crushed it all and confirmed my insecurities with one message.
Fuck you.
I'm fucking tired. Want to sleep for ever.
Im always sad and I dont know why
But all I know is I want to die
Everyone I love ends up leaving
Fuck It
I can never talk to people normally or hold normal conversations, i have no friends that actually know me because the only way i fit in is by acting like the funny, edgy guy of the group that laughs at himself, that is the only way i know to talk to others, I'm the scrawniest, tallest guy you will ever meet, i am very insecure about my hair and my overbite, and the only place i feel like i can talk to others without worry is over the internet where i spend most my time, i have never had a person of the opposite gender casually talk to me and i often feel depressed going to bed wondering what it would be like if i were to of been more social growing up and if i would be happier..
>"You were a mistake."
I can't stop smoking weed. I hate the mexicans I work with, but learned to be manage those motherfuckers. I should inherit my fathers comany so fuck those dudes to begin with. I got married way to early but I love every moment with her. My father has more than 15 children, I'm the last child but it doesn't make my father any closer to being a father. My mothers a drug addict with an abusive mafioso fucking cunt. Oh well. this is why i cant stop smoking weed. LOL
there's this girl i know named rose and i love her, she's like 5'11 with perfect legs and a perfect face and perfect hair and she's half black/white so she has perfect skin and we used to be really good friends but she and i are drifting apart and even if we were together or dated or whatever it would never be true and i hate it so much because i see her every day and i love her so much she's just so wonderful and she hardly even cares about me
Why does my dick even matter. Its not even that big. Like 5" hard tbh
She's looking for back payments....17 years
MY SISTER IS WEARING NOTHING BUT HER SHIRT AND PANTIES AND HER ASS IS HALFWAY OUT IS THIS AN ACCIDENT THING PURPOSE THING i.e. I CAN WEAR WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT AT HOME OR HEY I'M TESTING YOU COME FUCK ME HARD
I have a steam library full of games that I play off and on, and that helps sometimes, but every so often I get in this rut where I just can't muster the will or interest to do anything. Just a few weeks ago I spent a whole month lying in bed and doing absolutely nothing - no talking to people online, no gunpla, no games, just taking my meds and sleeping as much as possible. It's times like those where I just feel like I'm being suffocated by some enormous crushing weight. I don't want to die, but I don't want to just exist either. If I'm being perfectly honest, sometimes I wish I were normal and able to actually function more than an arbitrarily short amount of time. The highlight of my life is when my youngest brother comes to visit me for a day or two every couple of weeks and I don't feel so alone and pathetic.
I've been considering checking myself in to a psych ward again to see if that helps, but honestly that scares me as well. Being cut off from everything that even semi-reliably keeps my mind occupied and away from that vault of shit in my head I try so hard not to think about is a terrifying prospect, and part of the reason why I swore I'd never go back to living on the streets.
I wish I were a robot so I could just turn off all this useless shit in my brain.
>I'm not a robot
Took her long enough to figure it out - even though I asked her several times along the way if she was just fucking with me.
Fuck it all. I blame myself more than anything.
Honestly everyday i contemplate why we exist and if i could be happier if i just reply to this post or your mother dies no immunity, you know??
that was a shit haiku
i don't know if i actually still love him after all of the shit we've been through recently. he's trying, but i don't think it's enough.
i don't know if i should keep faking it or bail out, but i don't want to lose all of our mutual friends
I really don't know, no. You sound like a faggot.
faggot detected
PICS NOW YOU COLOSSAL FAGGOT WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Ive been starting to get to know this girl. And shits been going well. I only recently opened up to her about how i felt. and she turned me down saying she wasnt ready for this kind of stuff yet. we were still going to be friends. but as it turns out when we went out as we made plans before i said anything. that she had feelings for me aswell. since then we havent seen each other since that night but we have been talking heaps.
Shallow as Fuck, his friends are why you stay? I can't even deal with this kind of selfishness
>A
>make up your damn mind
>stop pulling that "I am not sure" bullshit, you played me twice
>Every time I hide you somehow come back
>I just want to stop caring about you
>Stop worrying about me getting high, does more than you ever did for me
>stop "caring" about me and saying how much you love me while talking about how unsure you are about him if he's cheated on you 3 times yet you got back with him every time.
>Please Hailey, make up your fucking mind and stop playing this godamn game. Im tired of this.
>Please just get out of my fucking head.. Its been 3 years and I cant let go.
I let her back in again. I know she's just going to fuck me over, why am I so stupid Cred Forums?
Thank you Cred Forums.. Have a nice night Cred Forumsros
Damn I'm nowhere near that bad. I just masturbate a lot and watch anime/play games. I hate it when my niece and nephew visit, I always lock myself up in my room. I sleep like a baby every night too, even on bad days. I may have some minor form of persistent depression or something though as none of my neetness seems to affect me.
I'm scared to leave. I know there is a huge support network where I'm going, but I will miss being here a lot. I just want to find somewhere there and be happy with them, even though its hard for me to be happy with myself. Time is an elusive deity that dictates so much fear and joy at the same time.
I fucking hate how businesses will say they're hiring, you go in, do the interview, wait a bit, call back, get nothing, and months later, they're "still hiring." I also hate the notion of being 'overqualified' for a position. Seriously, what kind of qualifications do you need (or not need) to sell books or work in a fucking bakery?
life is all but a haze in a maze, just don't get lost between all the traps, fags and gold loving jews
tbh i was just trying to be funny. Was going to go with 'you got a lil dick' before i decided on that one.
it is your fault, but no need to blame just keep moving and on to the next pussy with legs and a nice smile
I love my girlfriend so much and she loves me and we have an amazing relationship together but lately she's not sure of what she wants and it's really taking a toll on me; she doesn't have a lot of money but she still doesn't do anything for me anymore and I'm not sure if it's fair/worth it for me to stay with her. I keep telling myself she will get over it and not feel this way anymore, and lately it seems like things are going back to normal, but I just don't know.
when I was in middle school my dad and my step mom lived in a condo by the beach. There was plenty of hot women and I would go out on the balcony and check out all the women. I asked my dad for binoculars for Christmas and i got them when it was so obvious what i was gonna do. so every weekend night by myself I went out to the balcony and spied on all the people in their apartments and hotel rooms. I saw a lot of people having sex, Girls topless, etc. we moved to another apartment. and i did the same thing. but this time I went to the windows and peeked in. I would see a few girls changing but thats it. I did this a lot until one day i peeked in and thought some one saw me and ran fast as fuck back to the apartment. next week when i go to leave to go peek on girls, my dad tells me to wait and hands me a paper saying that on camera they saw a man peeking into someones window and running away in the apartment. Almost shit my pants but it said the incident happened on a day i wasn't there with my dad. nothing ever came up but after that i never did that shit again.
stupid faggot piece of shit with no concept of self-worth or integrity
You have to pull the slide back first you dumb shit
maybe shes cheating on you. Sorry to plant my own insecurities on you, but thats how my girlfriend started acting towards me when she slept with someone else.
the only reason I'm still alive right now is because my habits just happen to sustain my body
you just have to be smarter that your employers..
add a few things on your cv, do some research about the stuff you've added ... now you are just as wise as them, and once they've hired you, you will just have to learn as much as possible in the 1st month so they don't chase you away.
Jesus Christ.
All that baggage is why we don't want fucking refugee sand people immigrating into the free world.
Time to go back.
ex-girlfriend now that is
did u watch user
I wanna eat my cum but I'm a pussy
Nah there is no way its that, her father cheated on her mother and she is SUCH a great girl, I know she would never cheat on me.
Madison I'm in love with you
>went home after long night drinking
>someone starts discussion with arab guy
>me half german half egypt sitting there watching them
>rndm guy comes over
>rndm guy starts telling me stuff about me stealing his job, his money, his wife, his land
>starts calling me a fucking kanak
>starts telling me to get a good beat em up 1o1
>me asking him to get out to finaly start this
>him being pussy
>punch racist fuck in the face till he starts bleeding and go of
still not satisfied because there are more...
all women are whores, unless you feed them and spend all your money on her as she demands, she will be content, but as soon as you run dry she will show her true colors .
we know it , they wont admit it
I'm a habitual liar and I want to stop but I just cant sometimes. It's like the lies are coming out of my mouth before I have time to stop them. I'm getting better slowly but I just want to stop completely.
What habits?
Trips confirm, eat your cum you pussy bitch nigger
Ana i Rlly love u, even if i never talk to you
i don't have any other friends, and i'm just scared they'll hate me, since he'll probably turn them against me :/
jewish cock nose detected
plus, learn some engrish cuck
Try communicating more then bro. Tell and show her that she means the world to you then. If you don't want to lose her then you might need to make some sort of change. People don't stay the same over time, so you have to either grow with them or learn to adapt to who they become. Then again, maybe you guys are growing apart and its best that your lives spread out.
I hate myself because I have no confidence and am overweight.
I'm a vegan
I do the same things, they just don't always work. Sometimes they do! And when they do, things aren't so bad, I guess, but when they don't I'm miserable. I do have a few friends I talk to online that try to cheer me up, but when I get in that dark place I stop talking to them and worry that they'll just leave like all the people I've called friends before. I know that shutting them out isn't going to help, I know that, logically, but for some reason I just 'lock up' and keep making it worse by avoiding them for longer and longer. I can't hold a relationship (friends or otherwise) down for shit, but I can't live with absolutely no form of closeness with anyone. The emptiness gets to me after a while. I can't seem to find a place that feels like home (the shed was the closest I ever got) and I can't seem to find my niche in the world. I don't have any real goals or aspirations, I just want to live a quiet life without poverty or neurosis. Sometimes I lie in bed at night and hope really hard that no one else feels like I do because the thought that others suffer like this makes me feel even sadder.
Join the club
where is this jewish stuff coming from?
stop eating too much junk food, and go for a walk every morning for 30min, after 6months you would have lost a lot of weight .. you can also try smoking weed... but just stop eating shit
I did this probably the third time I came
what's wrong with you?
it came out of your body
next you're going to tell us that you've never tasted your boogers, ear wax, and urine
I'm working on the overweight problem and having a fairly easy time at it. Confidence isn't something I can work on by just stopping doing something. I'll never be confident.
Thanks dad
it depends what you wanna be confident at?
you must just not give a FUCK what people think of you, most people are jealous backstabbing sons of bitches, not being a faggot like 'them' should bump that confidence level a whole lot, regardless of your outer appearance .
Anytime kiddo. Wanna throw the ol' pigskin around? Just you and me.
But that's the thing: I see people with NO degrees getting the same bullshit-jobs I apply to, even though I'm about to have two related degrees. It's like they're worried I'm going to outclass the manager(s) or something.
never heared of a jew fighting
ok
I've stopped feeling depressed and now I just feel lonely...
...
Sorry but I'm dead.
you not watching the news fgt or wot?
ISIS is mossad, which consist out of 98%jews and the rest is nigger freemasons..
my gf is bored of me
That's not love
haha
That's true. Thanks for the advice man
Best of luck
Dumb fucking bitch doesn't respond to my texts, she should suck a million cocks and kill herself
kill em all
USE A MOTHERFUCKING TURN INDICATOR YOU CUNTFUCKS!
Satan giving you false hope
I was doing work on a local water department's computer and used diskpart to format the drive on the machine, forgot I left the external HDD plugged in, and formatted the main HDD. I cost them about 8 months of labor in having to get all of their bills back since they were all stored locally on the machine, but I never signed anything indicating that I agreed to work on the machine so I walked away and haven't talked to the department since.
i had my dick sucked by men a few times and now i'm paranoid my family and friends could find out somehow and i will be the most embarrassed person in the wordl. i even had a dream aboit it and it was horrible.
Am not a fag, got a wife and a kid and am afraid something like this will harm them and disappoint them. sucks.
Prob doing a bit of the first part now while you cry here on /b
being this retarded
sucks dicks
I'm not saying I'm not retarded, but realized my story doesn't make sense.
The External HDD had a backup on it and I accidentally formatted the main drive. When I went to connect the backup, it turns out the HDD failed and was making corrupted backups so the External HDD had a corrupted image of it. There was no retrievable data from either drive.
never sucked a dick.
only got my dick sucked :/ it was not worth it.
I'm tired of all these BLM "protestors" starting so much shit.
explain to me how you "accidentally" format the main drive
I, too, would enjoy some tendies.
I just wasn't paying attention at all. I meant to format the External HDD in Disk 1, but it turns out the HDD was connected to the wrong SATA port inside of the computer so the Internal Drive was Disk 1, the External Drive was Disk 2, and my flash drive I booted from was Disk 0. Had I looked at the capacities, it would have been prevented.
Very happy my girlfriend broke up with me, holy shit I've been having so much fun since then
:'(
Waifu claiming threads are not bad, but ops of loli threads should kill themselves.
Move on! You acting like a child about the breakup you wanted only makes you look like the fool. And until you move on, it's going to be like this until you find someone else who you think is, 'the one', until you find every flaw and let it eat at you.
I actually really want to visit China and North Korea someday.
>be 32
>start talking to 19 yo gril
>fuck the age difference
>everything lines up pretty awesome
>same sex drive, interests, ideals
>after being with her a few times reveals she's 17..
>imdead.jpg but it's okay.. still legal in this state
> continue because degeneracy.
>reveals that she lied again.. actually 16
>my arteries can't take this shit
>still talking to this gril
>accept my pedo pin and still fuck her like a whore
I may be going to hell but at least it tasted good along the ride.
How to stop feminism and SJW?
I cant take it anymore I don't want to live anymore
I fucking cant do it.
I'm tired of being reminded about everything I hate about myself.
It's ok fam talk to me
I wanna suck >pic related
my dick is 7 inches long and 5 inches in girth. i'm a kissless virgin
Should have pissed on them without disturbing the bottles.
I mustered the courage to talk to another girl and again, I was rejected. Either her reason is legit or just an excuse to "let me off easy". I don't want to turn into a "nice guy", but it's getting so discouraging. I've gone through so many girls and haven't had one date yet. I try so hard, but it just won't come to me. Meanwhile, it seems that some other people can get girlfriends at the drop of a hat. What am I doing wrong? Was I put on this earth to just be a symbol of tragedy? Is my entire existence meant to be an embodiment of the lovesickness and heartbreak?
I miss her so much.
I hate that I can't figure out any of the women in my life and if I tried I'd be risking having an awkward social or work enviroment. I wish my life had less precautions to it, I'd be myself more
I feel you bro, I'm in the same boat just too afraid to ask because it may fuck with my life
same
Yah I agree I miss /b's older days
I don't know whats wrong, but thats the problem!
Im 25 have a beautiful loving wife... I have an addiction of having phonesex with random girls from omegle I cant break.....oh and sad part is I dont even feel bad or guilty
>Been having dreams of an ex girlfriend of mine.
>Normally I'll get these dreams when I'm incredibly stressed.
>Start craving the feeling of being wanted by someone again.
>try talking and going out.
> it all ends the same way. they're either to dumb and fucking shallow or incredibly fucked up.
>Constant failure sending me in a spiral.
>now i listen to sad songs and watch tear invoking anime.
>Dunno Cred Forums, maybe we aren't supposed to be satisfied with life,
> But what if instead were supposed to give a sideways smirk and pretend like it is all ok and go on to die.
>I dont wanna live a life where I always fake it to get to the next day
Your thoughts?
Had that problem...do what I did be the nice guy and let the mediocre girl with a slightly damaged history fall into your lap...she will love you like no other.....but then youll start getting noticed by hot chicks and hit on by them all the fucking time
I am harder on other trans people than anyone has ever been on me for being trans. and that includes /lgbt/.
I'm so sick of hearing about white privilege. I had no electricity , gas , or water turned on in my house when i was in school because I couldn't afford it . The whole time watching these dum fucking niggers get a free ride from my tax dollars as I also worked full time because they were minorities . Then on testing day they can't pass after multiple tries because their just ignorant apes. Now I make almost 90k a year pay 40% in taxes and have to listen to these fucking niggers tell me it's white privilege and I couldn't possibly understand their fucking struggle. I hope cops kill everyone of you fucking kinky tops so we can once again have a civilized society without niggers killing niggers . Awwwww that felt great thank-you op
I don't feel close with anyone anymore. I became so jaded from being depressed that everything us now empty. I wish I could be happy or at least always be high. I'll probably steal an ounce from a friend and smoke all of it in a week in an apartment somewhere then kill myself.
If you kill yourself just know that you'll be remembered as a douchebag. How about you just buy the ounce? You won't need the money when you're dead.
i'm fucking terrified, and i'm weak.
if i stay, i'll have the knowledge that i did the "right" thing, but i'll be unhappy for the rest of my life.
if i leave, i'll probably feel like a guilty piece of human garbage for the rest of my life, i will have perpetuated the cycle of fatherlessness that i lived through, but i'll be free from the crushing monotony and her endless need and i'll finally be able to leave this town and only worry about myself, and maybe find some happiness before i die.
both options are bad, but it's my fault that these are the options. i created this situation. i fucked myself into this corner. she never lied, and i knew what i was getting into.
if i was a better person, i'd stay and be responsible and be pleased with my simple comforts and being able to provide and protect. if i was a shittier person, i'd be gone yesterday and not think twice. but i'm just cruel and selfish and weak enough to want to leave, and human enough to feel too guilty to do so. in my head, i've already decided that i'm going to stick it out and commit and give up on chasing the dream. i'm going to settle for what's in front of me. but the idea of leaving it all behind won't stop calling me. as much as i try to put it out of my mind, there is a burning desire to get out that permeates every moment of every day, thumping away steadily in the background like a heartbeat.
i've been on this fence for years, and i'm afraid that i'm going to die here.
I'm at a point right now where I don't know how I feel and I don't know why I don't know how I feel. I'm perfectly happy, am in a great state as far as school goes, have plenty of hobbies and friends, but there's still something in the back of me that still feels like there's something missing. Perhaps it's love, perhaps it's just another one of those teenage things. It's an odd state of purgatory, where I feel awful but also feel like I have no reason to feel awful and know for a fact that i don't truly feel awful in the first place... I've just been struggling with that fact for a while, and I'm not sure how to go about consulting this problem, especially since i find it so difficult to even put it to words, let alone understand the cause.
I useat everyone I know they all tHinkley I like them but that I'm weirdlying quite sometimesure when really imake just planning out a way for me to come out on top with the least required work
I kinda want to kill myself for being such a sociopath