Any Cred Forumsacks here? This got removed off of Cred Forums, so I'm just gonna paste it here

Any Cred Forumsacks here? This got removed off of Cred Forums, so I'm just gonna paste it here.

Is anyone here to cope with heartbreak/breakup? I think I might be.

I had the choice to stay in my city and go to college, or to move to the one my at the time girlfriend was at. Being a 17 year old retard feeling love for the first time, you know I went. We had been dating for 6 months, and we talked, and she said we'd most definitely stay together if me going to that college was a possibility. So I plead my case to my parents, and they reluctantly accepted. I had driven up the day before classes started with the last of my things, and as I hadn't seen her in a few days, I had planned a "one more before school starts" date. I went to pick her up, and right there by my car, less than an hour after entering this new big city to be with her, she broke up with me.

I died inside.

I started my first year of engineering the worst possible way. I wasn't functional for a few days, and have only now (over a year later) started to feel close to where I was before. (I've realized our time dating was a 6 month serotonin/dopamine high as well). In the coming months, I drifted to Cred Forums. I don't know why. Maybe because she was extremely bluepilled? Because Cred Forums is everything against what she stands for. I also went from 190 --> 150, started lifting 6x a week, and became "beautiful". Something she was always striving to do. She was always interested in the debate team - and after her I always found myself drawn to a debate, maybe because it was another thing I wanted to prove that I was better?

So Cred Forums tell me. Was I drawn to these things by coincidence, or is this some sort of defensive mechanism that my emotions/brain has created for me to cope.

Any other analysis is welcome.

Bad women have a tendency to redpill good men.

But it's so... Weird that a bad breakup has led me on this journey.

If I met myself while I was dating her, as I am now, I think old me would hate this one. I've been down this redpill road long enough to know that it's not where the happiness lies. And I'm trying to very wherever the happiness is.

>being redpilled
>being happy
Pick one

Welcome to the ride user.
Heil Hitler!

Mr. Skeltal, can I ever get off?

there's only one way off this ride

Considered it. Where do you find your solace?

Me personally?
Alcohol (not recommended)

I used to live for video games. Maybe because I'm growing up, or the redpilling, it's just losing its appeal. Everything around me that people enjoy just feels like some manufactured nuance, and that genuine fun and joy are near impossible to come by. I don't know if I'm extremely cynical, or just about ready to be done with this earth, but it's getting arduous.

Hey OP, 3rd year Psych Student here. Your story and expirience during and after your breakup are completely normal. You don't have to be an hero, because good news, you've already done something to better yourself.

The loss of weight (in a healthy way) at the rate you did on top of lifting to boost YOUR self image is a huge step in the right direction. As long as the weightloss and getting swoll doesnt become an obsession (i.e lifing 5 hours every day, 30 different supplements and then looking in the mirror and being disgusted) then youre on the right path to bettering yourself.

The drawing to politics you claim to be because you want to feel empowered by being in control of something. You want to be better than her at something, and in most cases that comes from abusive relationships, people who NEED to be in control, or even just wanting to outdo someone they admire and who drives them to do more.

Tl;dr you bettered yourself, good on you. Even if you did it to "win her back" in a way, its still mentally healthy. The draw on politics may be a subconsious thing to impress her, but i doubt it. Youre fine m9, good on you for making something of yourself

I thank you. I really do. I don't know if you've been exposed to any data on it, but depending how deeply in with someone you were, it can take the better part of a year to be decently over them.

The whole reason this came up was because I noticed her sitting in a study hall and went and spoke with her. We hadn't seen each other since the breakup over a year ago. We just talked casually, but while doing it (and once my heart rate slowed from the initial nervousness) I felt relieved. As if something was lifted from my chest, or I faced one of my demons, because until now the thought of running into her terrified me - but I really can't figure out why.

Holy fucking shit you are 110% right that what I want most right now is control...

I reported your thread and suggested you post it in /r9k/ with the other autistic fucks. Here's a free bump for your awful thread. You will likely need it.

why did the Cred Forumslack submarine fleet sink?

What happened to your /mlp/ and how to take a screenshot? And you got Firefox?

Also - love you mom :*

Something something too dense?

screen doors dude... screen doors

It could just be as simple as you dont like confrontation. Maybe all the "what ifs" that float around your head about her stick with you. The chemical reactions in our brains around vagina fucking suck man. Maybe you still have feelings for this girl, these questions are something you have to ask yourself and figure out if you ever truly want your inner demons surrounding this situation gone. If anything, do what's best for you in the long run. Live for your happiness, and it looks like youve started already.

I'll switch it up sometimes and use this one.

Thanks mom!

If you sit down and tell yourself all the accomplishments youve had the past year, like going to the gym, losing weight, good grades, having a great self image, then in all reality, you really are in control. Don't let a failed relationship outweigh your success.

I fear subconsciously I might still have some attraction to her. I read somewhere that we always cherish our first love and never fully let go (whether that's true or not I don't know). But let's assume I do still have some sort of feelings for her. I'm never seeing her again, and honestly, I feel as if I made myself "fall in love" with her (and fucking fall I did) so I could get some pussy.

She originally was some non threatening easy date to prom...

Sorry to fragment our discussion into two streams. As in control as I may feel, I still believe I'm down on myself because I'm not in a relationship anymore. I'm literally depriving myself of a drug. (like I've said before, that 6 months was amazing) and Im beginning to think that until I re-achieve what I once had, I will never be content (which I acknowledge is about as doable as a meth head chasing his first high.)

You're right. Scientifically speaking our first actually relationships wear a special place in our thoughts and feelings. A bad first realtionship sets unreal expectations for all other relationships (i.e they abuse you, ergo all other relationships must be like this). Its fucking stupid but its a reality. My first high school girlfriend still crosses my mind from time to time and we broke up 6 years ago. Theres nothing wrong with that. All these emotions people feel after a breakup are a normality, even if it feels like youre alone, you really arent. If you let the way one relationship went and obsess over that one girl and never move on, your life will be a hell. My advice, talk to ladys at the gym, try new things, use MeetMe or something of that nature. After a few girls if you still have feelings for the first girl, maybe its time to talk to her?

As to not being content with that pheromone high you had with the first girl, you NEVER know until you try. Get out there, fuck some willing girls, make new friends, love new people, and maybe youll have an even better high. Youre longing for a before the heartbreak feel, because subconsiously you think love will never be the same again. It sounds like a shitty cliche, but its not. Give love a chance m8

I've been fooling around with tinder, as it's very hard to find things with vaginas on an engineering campus. Tinder has made me realize that there are so many low quality women... Whereas young me saw anything with boobs that talked to him as a potential lead.

Just makes the search a little more tougher when you're no longer wading through dirt to find your gold, you're wading through shit.

Your phrasing makes me feel great about your future. You have standards, meaning you still believe you have a self image and worth. Thats great! But in all honesty, those girls on dating apps for one reason, to net anything that come by. Go to bars, go to parties, even your campus must have a party or two.

This is a picture of my ex...

>but my first love ended badly and I've convinced myself love is a Jewish meme as a defense mechanism and women will leave you for Chad and take half your shit and fuck guys on the side and western women aren't worth it anyways

/r9k/ and Cred Forums aren't good for your mental health. The redpill stuff on there can be interesting, but the constant barrage of defeatism and pulling out of participating in society is, like I said, bad for your mental health.

Get off Cred Forums for a bit, and replace the urge to browse with the urge to go talk to a girl. Even forming a platonic relationship is a good starting point, because you learn more about new women, without the threat of sexual expectation to sour it.

And then you bang her, because you're good looking and listen to her shit ;)

You're fine op.

Ripped it from a pol thread this afternoon...

>this
Do you have any more?

Her name is Meriah Strickland

Honestly man, finding intelligent life on Cred Forums is rare, so I really thank you for your insight. Whether your posts are some pathological altruism to bullshit people into thinking all is well, or you genuinely believe I'm doing good for myself, I appreciate it and it made me feel better, and a new direction to focus. :)

Same goes for you

I'm melancholy about the state of things at times, but if I had to quantify I'd say I'm far more happy than I ever was before. I'm much more sure of myself and my goals.

OP, I went through a similar thing at the same age. It was wholly unhealthy. We hardly saw each other, but spent hours on the phone talking about meaningless nonsense. I didn't enjoy it, and I could tell she didn't either, but I had myself convinced that I loved her because of how familiar she had become to me. Honestly I was always far more interested in a friend of hers whom I had briefly dated a few years before (and wanted nothing to do with me since), and I got the impression she was only with me so as not to be alone. That relationship combined with some other things in my life resulted in me being constantly depressed, doing absolutely nothing all day but watching television, playing video games, masturbating to progressively more degenerate content, and spending hours looking on fucking google maps street view fantasizing about just running from all the people I knew. Eventually the girl broke up with me and shortly thereafter killed herself, and I just didn't feel anything other than self-pity, and I hated myself for it. I was numb. I withdrew entirely into a spiral of , and for about a year the only people who saw me were my immediate family. I hardly left the house, and when I did I rarely went more than a few hundred feet away.

Nah, I just enjoy helping people, which is why I'm (trying to) make a career out of it. I hope all goes well OP, good luck with finding out what you really want in life, its a lot easier to say in a text post than to actually go out and better yourself, but youre already 3/4 of the way there!

At some point it changed. I don't know what switch flipped in my head but I stopped feeling sorry for myself and looked objectively at my life and the influences on it which made me the way I was, and I began deconstructing them. Looking at the influences on previous generations, and the results of those influences on their behaviors and attitudes. Fell briefly into a sort of Kaczynskiyte mindset that was equally as unhealthy as my last one, where I hated almost every aspect of modernity, and myself for being a part of it. But many of the habits I formed then set me on the path of improvement. I started reading again, and not mindless fiction like what I read before, but philosophical texts, essays, political manifestos. I started exercising regularly, and eating more (I had always been underweight and at the height of my depression was near auschwitz mode), and made incredible progress in my physique. I gained responsibility and began just doing anything I saw that needed to be done. If I didn't know how, I'd learn. In a few months I had learned basic carpentry, bricklaying, tiling, auto repair, and some other skills, and used either them or brute force to help my parents sell their junker of a house for a good $200,000 more than they would have gotten otherwise.

After the hatred for the entirety of the modern world faded, I was left to examine again (this time with an intellectual base to work from) all the aspects of it, and their value and validity, and decide which elements were absolutely intolerable for society and for me. I searched around, eventually came across a few different communities on the internet with radically different ideas.

How are you doing now? What did you do to handle it in the year or two afterwards?

I immediately identified with one figure in particular, who eventually let me to 8/pol/ in November of 2014. They've had a drastic decrease in quality since, but the incredible discussions happening there at the time were just what I needed. I hashed out every aspect of all the ideologies represented with anyone who would engage me, and formed a sort of amalgam over the next year based on the results of those arguments and their level of applicability to real-world events and figures.

So the outcome of all of this, my journey of the past few years, is that I am physically, emotionally, intellectually, and politically FAR more developed than I ever was in what I now think of as my previous life. If it's a coping mechanism, it's a damn good one. Keep improving yourself and the happiness will come, brother.

>$200,000

20,000

typo

Very noble and well done. But your last bit there would indicate you've regressed the forefront of your thoughts into obscure corners of the internet - and not into real life.

Hang in there user

Hey, sauce on the girl? She looks familiar to me

It's a coping mechanism, just like when daddy touched you and suddenly you love the sports teams he hates.

So I guess the take way from your posts is that I'm in a transition phase? My happiness reached a local maximum, and now as I ride back up to the next "maximum" I should just find my solace in the things I have around me, and focus on my improvement. Rather than trying to shoot for absolute happiness right now, I just need to be content with my improvement phase, and happiness will come eventually as a product of this.

Is that an idea you'd like me to grasp from your story?

Some Cred Forums thread sorry, I just have the one.

I suppose that's true to an extent. I'm living in my head a lot more than I have at other points in my life. But it feels fresh, and healthy. I wake up pleased with life and looking forward to new challenges and experiences. I think the insularity of it is just because I only have one other person in real life I can discuss this sort of thing with without alienating or scaring them.

Perhaps I'll look back on this period in a decade and wonder what I was doing wasting my time with this crap, but I doubt it. I feel fulfilled and proud of myself for the first time in my life.