I have a question. Discribe REAL depression. Not "I have depression look at me" shit

I'm reverse, I feel nearly nothing and mostly indifferent everybody.
I'm stricken with boredom. No wonders feft to explore, just to sit and watch humanity digress into madness and self destruction.

Depression is a deficiency in the production of certain chemicals in the brain,thats why you feel like a worthless piece of shit,cause your brain hardly can "feel" anything else,then we have the psychic one, but thats another stuff,more about traumas or mental issues

For me it's like a constant weight always pushing you down.
Not enough to completely crush you but enough to keep you from doing much of anything.
You're motivation and enjoyment for the most basic of things is just gone because this weight just won't let you feel anything more than apathy.

Pills and the constant doubt of everything you do. You constantly feel unmotivated and aren't able to enjoy anything.

See that's what I fell but it more like everything is just pointless, annoying, and worthless and all I can think about is how much I haven't don't and how lonely I am and will be as ever thing just fades into numbness with little spikes of empty enjoyment.

this faggot knows his shit

you ain't 'reverse' buddy. that's what it is.

>Have difficulty doing anything. Cleaning your room, brushing your teeth, combing your hair, doing your laundry, talking with people or keeping up with your social life.

>Nothing interests you anymore except occasionally something strange like getting up really early in the morning and going outside to look at the night sky turning into morning. It is quiet and nobody is around.

>You know you are broken but you don't know how to fix it. Nothing you used to enjoy interests you anymore.

Now you know.

For me its general apathy and bursting into tears for no reason on random moments during the day.
Oh also unbelievable mood swings.

Apathy, irritability, overthinking things.

The irritability feels like, suddenly peoples minor little stupidities really fucking stand out. And in your head you're like, "THE LINE MUST BE DRAWN HIEEER. THIS FAR. NO FARTHER." It's a sudden intense focus on the small irritations.

The overthinking things is that you analyze the shit out of your problems, and often your problems all interrelate so you keep going back and forth "if only i could fix B, then A wouldn't be so hard, but i can't because of C, if only i could fix C, then B wouldn't be so hard, but i can't because A, if only i could fix A, then C wouldn't be so hard, but i can't because B" And you just keep going 'round and 'round in your head trying to figure out some root cause, or at least a STARTING point, and you can't really pin down where to start. And it gets to feel overwhelming and you just want to give up and procrastinate fixing anything. And then you give up for a while, then you start thinking in circles again.

And the apathy is the really interesting one. You LEGIT cannot decide which of two alternatives FEELS more desirable. The emotion does not come. You cannot decide. You are like a computer that's hanging.

LOL

Fucking lil pussy

Kill yourself

Unmotivated, in bed all days, falling into drug abuse, lying to friends and family, breaking your own things, letting fines and payments stack up, spiraling down and realising but not giving a shit cause life in general doesn't seem for you.

See I'm not going to go into detail but I want to get better and feel like everyone else but at the same time I don't have a doctor or way of seeing one without some find out and I'd rather keep this to myself because I don't like explain my reason to others it's as annoying and angering.

Ah I see someone sees themselves in the mirror and they don't like it.

I wish you well user. Killing yourself doesn't end the pain, it just gives it to someone else.

it's like drowning. you can't go to sleep, you can't wake up, you force simple tasks, you're utterly dysfunctional, and every once and a while, and every time you try to feel something, it's always void of a color, and texture. It's the feeling of rejection standing on your chest, as if your mind is rejecting your body. You always dream about leaving, but the motivation is gone. Watching a movie about yourself, played by someone else.

This pretty much nails it

Depression isn't always paired with with the feeling of sadness that people expect.

I was hella depressed for the past couple years (just recently found my way out luckily), and it was essentially the same as this. Nothing seems like it's worth doing, you have no goals, no motivation. It feels like existing is just a chore. Almost like you're an empty shell.

Yeah, it's like this.
You dont wanne do shit. And everything you does feels so pointless.
A real depression fucks over your whole personal and social life.
Best is to tell your doctor.
Dont tell too much people about it, they won't understand.
I've been taken medecine for almost 1,5 year.
In a few months I can stop if everything goes right. Never give up. Doesn't matter how deep u were. Never. Give. Up.
These fags here always say 'kill urself' but they are just internet people lol.
Life is great. If u feel bad, talk to a doc.

And I alway dream about the things in my books and games one day happening to me but I know nothing will change and I most likely die alone.

You lose contact with all your friends. You don't want to do anything. You struggle with simple tasks. You feel like you have regressed.

its like a hole which u try to void but eventually u always fall into and trying to get out is like an impossible task . people walk indiffrent by or asking to help out or throwing down a rope just so u can climb halfway up just to see the person letting go of the rope . Time goes by the hole gets smaller and smaller and eventually it will crush u , while not having even the power to ask for help

Imagine existing for the sole purpose of existing, and feeling like you're not existing correctly.

Another feature is nothing seeming fun or interesting anymore, but you feeling bored at the same time. Everything you think of feels like more of a pain in the ass than it's worth. But nonetheless you REALLY want to do something to pass the time. You want to do something fun. But you just keep cycling options through you mind and it's like "ehhhnnn no" "ehhhnnn no" "ehhhh no", and you just sit there miserable because you're bored as fuck and you cannot IDENTIFY a fun thing to do.

But the most fucked up think about depression is that you often don't REALIZE these things are caused by the depression. You think the irritability is because something the person said REALLY WAS them being dumbfuck annoying assholes. You think your circular thinking REALLY IS this insurmountable obstacle in your life that you need to overcome or you're going to die. You think your inability to choose an alternative REALLY IS because it's a hard choice. And you think nothing is fun anymore because it JUST IS the case that life isn't fun.

The not realizing it is the worst part. Because just knowing it's due to the depression, you know it will pass. Your mind is lying to you.

Do your meds make you feel artificially happy or do you feel genuinely better?
I've always been afraid that taking meds would make me feel emotions that weren't actually mine.

I'll sit here and cry like a bitch thinking about things like killing my self but I know I'll never do it blaming my self for why I'm like this and telling myself it will change and going to sleep do it again.

From my experience it was artificial, but i had a bad experience from medication do to poor prescription and diagnosis.

I'm not OP, but I took meds for some time and didn't really like the effect they had on me. However, I recognize that depression is an illness that should be treated, and modern medicine offers solutions.

The largest factor in my recovery was finding a good therapist. Just having someone to talk to who's willing to listen, as well as offering solid advice, is a god send.

It's like repeatedly slamming your head in a door and refusing to stop so that the pain of your actions won't set in.

Your life is literally going down the shitter.

Your parents grow more distant every day.
Your stress levels build and nothing helps to push it down.
You try to make a point to remain happy but you can't.
You are the butt of every joke and you can't tell if anybody really enjoys your company.
You are failing at your occupation or your final year of schooling.
You are a kissless virgin and it's all your fault.
The way the world is going makes you want to leave this planet forever, but you can't.
Everything you do inevitably ends in failure, even if you do it perfectly.
Moments that take luck into account always turn out for the worst possible outcome.
You are scared to do anything for fear of making your situation worse.
You have considered suicide but have rejected the idea, mostly for the fear of pain and/or death.
Your situation could have changed not long ago had you not made several stupid decisions.
You can't talk to anyone about it because they always dismiss you, don't care or make it about themselves, no matter who they are.
You only have a small amount of time to try and sort your life out until the deadline passes and you are left with no opportunities, stuck in a gradually worsening life.
You can see yourself changing into a bitter and morally corrupt individual, and you resent yourself for it.

Hi, how are you?

Meds help your brain making stuff again your brain stopped making. English really bad.
First months are hard because you trouble with good and bad moments.
But you have to give it time.
I now feel good, eventho somethings in life could be better, but you know. I'm happy now. You dont take pillz and everything is gone. You also have to find out why it is.
Trust me, I've been deep. Talking with someone professional really helps!

Once they start working how they should, after 2-3 months, You will feel like you've been feeling when you were younger.
But I'll be happy when I can quit, because its still a stigma to talk about it.

Op is here I've just been reading and putting in my experiences oh what it feels like.

Yo fag, dont do it. Not cool.
Go talk to a doctor.

A fully clothed man sitting in the shower while eating chef boyardee ravioli from the can

Sadness r8ing 69/8

shit... this is me...

>Discribe REAL depression.
For me it is feelings of hopelessness that aren't based on reality at all. It sort of hurts inside, but it is more like... all the things that make me happy are gone. My brain won't give me the feeling that things are good, no matter what I do. I can't exercise. Jamming food into my mouth sort of works... that can trigger a bit of the ole dopamine. I'm tired. All the little pains and emotional hurts everyone has - my brain won't give me the good stuff to pour on top of that. And the worst part is I am convinced this is ALL there is to life. Even though I was happy yesterday, and will probably feel ok again in a few days... it feels like eternity - my entire life will be like this. I firmly believe it.

This is _with_ medication, when I have a bad spell. Without meds, it is that crushing, hopeless feeling pretty much all the time - the exception is that I can find things that break through the pain/numbnes - drinking can push me to feel things, drugs can take away the pain or caring especially heroin. Cocaine can help too. but obviously those are short term fixes.

Source: Struggling with depression today.

Yeah there are a lot of pillz, I tried 3 before finding the right one. It takes time. You can expect from the pillz that they work immediatly. It takes time to heal something, because one does not fall into a depression. One slips into it, very slowly, without noticing

I wish some one like you was always around for time like this thank who ever you are and to all the people taking time out of the existence for me thank you.

it's like ceasing to be human, like taking a huge step back and observing all the emotions and senses you used to take for granted. you observe them and realize how trivial and pointless they all are in relation to the absolute indifference of the sleeping universe coming back to claim you. depressive suicide is really fucking weird cos it's not some hysterical thing where you're like "I can't take it anymore wahh *bang*", it's like a true and alien understanding of how trivial and pointless life is without feel good senses working properly and day to day fantasies distracting you. killing yourself becomes a logical conclusion, not a hysterical one. in my case, I resisted only because I had memories of how life used to be when I was truly happy. I at least had that to help me. I think those who have no solid and foundational good memories are the ones who actually go through with this logical conclusion and check out early. it's really traumatizing to pull out of it too, cos it's kind of like a dream in a way: when you finally pull out it enough, you forget the details of the depressive logic while you were under. you forget the details but you recall the feelings, what it all felt like, and it's a really fucked up feeling. this is why a lot of people relapse back into depression if they don't really tackle their problems at the root. the memories of the feeling is always floating on the back of your mind and it's sad cos you know you'll never be the same again even after you've recovered and are living a good life again.

Depression isn't feeling sad. It's feeling nothing.

Here's one that's hard to explain to people who haven't experienced it. Depression isn't wanting to die. It's simply not wanting to live anymore.

What they said.

being pushed down by reality which is possession and feeling down are often lumped into the same boat. They're very different life disorders and they work in very different ways.

No worries mate

I might be considered a bitch because of this but I area desided that if nothing happened before I graduate I'll just end it and the reason I'm going though with school is because I feel I though at least complete something be for I'm gone.

Nope. It could be an effect of it, though.

I always forget how bad it is, until I'm in it. my GF is really good at reminding me "it will pass", over and over. We do this for eachother.

When we are depressed, the rule is - you can do anything that doesn't hurt you. stay in bed? fine. call up mom and yell at her? not fine.

I struggle with this concept. There is a pain to my depression, but it isn't like any other emotional pain I know. There should be a word for it. Literally "the pain of depression".

>The irritability feels like, suddenly peoples minor little >stupidities really fucking stand out. And in your head >you're like, "THE LINE MUST BE DRAWN HIEEER. >THIS FAR. NO FARTHER." It's a sudden intense >focus on the small irritations.

HOLY FUCK this. happened. today. blew up at girlfriend, for relatively minor thing. and I can't stop thinking about. I don't know how to apologize, because she did sort of do something wrong. and I hurt and wish she would just come in here and touch me on the shoulder.

For me the irritability is the first part of the depressive swing - I think it comes from the rising depressive pain, and my mind trying to fight it. IM NOT DEPRESSED LOOK AT THIS ENERGY I HAVE LOOK IM DOING [explosion][collapse]

If you take one piece of advice take this.
I am 28 at your age I genuinely wanted to kill myself too.
It does get better if you put some work into it.

this. it really helps having someone around who knows / is willing to help with this part.

OP, imagine being irrevocably, utterly DAMNED. Marked, if you will. No one else can see this mark, this weight, this fucking brand, but you. You can see it, dark and black and full of pain. It swallows up all joy like a black hole devouring light. Never mind proof or cause: you just fucking KNOW it's there. You fucking KNOW. Down in your bones, and the pit of your stomach. And this blemish or mark ensures your failure. Your guaranteed mediocrity at everything you do.

For the rest of your life you carry it, until it's more than you can fucking bear, and you die.

I won't pretend to know your life but chances are it's not worth killing yourself over.
You only get one and there aren't any do overs; take each day one at a time and just keep moving forward.

Depression can be feeling so numb you cant feel a thing to feeling so much you feel so full of emotion

I'd just tell her that you had a mood swing and you overreacted and you're sorry. That's technically true, and doesn't imply that there was nothing to react to.

I had an awful reaction to prozac that was over looked and i had a large number of the side effects including serious dissociation, hallucinations, which was looked over and when I told my psychologist/iatrist about it, they added an anti-psychotic/mood-stabilizer. Then later on when i switched doctors, they had me on a cocktail of welbutrin, trazodone, and paxil, which went horribly.

Ended out going to general care and getting diagnosed with ADD instead, works excellently/10

Ever see the movie groundhog day? It's like that, every day is exactly the same, even if the events are different, it is the same shit on a different plate. You'd think, okay, I'll just learn from the painstakingly obvious mistakes I keep making, but that is the brutal part, you're too apathetic to actually change for the better. You just solidify in your patterns because they're familiar and less strenuous, and you lack the energy and motivation to actually apply yourself at becoming a better person. I feel like the past 3 years have been the same thing with different people, a girl comes into my life, I feel happy for a while, but only because it's something new and I'm not entirely alone, as the months pass it loses the newness and becomes routine, I begin to stop caring and trying, or I care and try too much and drive them away, but at the end of it i'm left with a swiss cheese heart and a total disregard for trying to be happier in the future because it all seems so futile. Like, how many times can you go through the same shit and be hopeful for it to turn out differently? I see the strings come loose before the knots are even undone

keep trying man - honestly, if you can get some halfway decent meds - life can be pretty decent. I used drugs for years to deal with it - started drinking at like 12, and was a heroin addict at 25. I didn't even realize I had a depression problem until that point. I got some some meds, and while my life was REALLY fucked up ( rehabs / h addict ), I started feeling normal for the first time in my life. things felt good, they also felt bad... and I had to learn how to cope with both of those sensations without falling back into drug use.

but yea. I still get hit at the start of Fall every fucking year. sept-october the depression seeps back in.

I'm going to go try and exercise very slowly... I've been trying to build up habits when I feel good, so when I feel bad maybe I'll stick to the habits.

ps: anyone who says "you just need to exercise" doesnt understand fucking depression. Of course it helps, but when you are depressed, you can't just choose to go eercise. I fucking hat that shit.

this is seriously what i tell people. it took one moment of "why the fuck do i care", and find a good output for my emotions (playing live music) to fix most of my depression.

Yo I cant deny what you say.
I can only say Wellbutrin worked very well with me. It sucks to hear, but depression has several causes. You have to find what part of the puzzle is missing and only then u can find the fitting piece. Hope ur better now

>
but she did do something really irritating, I just over reacted to it... right now I'm just trying to be nice, and not get caught up in it. thanks for the advice though.

So what's your question

These are all statements.

My life is great and that's the problem I'm given all I need to strive but I just sit there rotting sliding through my responsibilitys looking at my life and saying "anyone could do so such more with this" and just wollying in self-pity

>I have a question. Discribe REAL depression. Not "I have depression look at me" shit.

when I can't even jack off I'm so depressed

by the way, don't take antidepressants they don't work and they will end up fucking you over more than the depression. I developed permanent tinnitus from taking buproprion and the fucking shit didn't even help with the depression, probably made it worse. so I went through hell x2 plus now I have a ringing in my ears which never stops and will never stop for the rest of my life.

say no to antidepressants, they don't work.

After you apologize, she'll be more receptive, and you can note what bothered you. She'll probably apologize back to you after you deliver your apology.

This is accurate

If you want to know how it feels use a good amount of MDMA. The feeling you have the next day minus the remainder of the awakening effects of MD is how i would describe it.

when u want to an hero but you are already in bed and moving is too much effort

Thank fuck someone with sense. This.

Having no drive to do anything. Feeling like shit but not knowing why. Actually considering killing yourself because you have nothing else to do with yourself.

What you Discribe as depression.

Found the bipolar patient.
Get meds before the only person who gives a quarter of a shit about you is the state.
Even your family will eventually abandon you, get help user.

have you also taken bupropion?

hey user serious question here. im on 150mg XL bupropion for about 2 months now and I dont see any effect. however im not excersising or going out at all. i just want to feel better and these drugs are supposed to fix the chemical imbalance in your brain. any thoughts?

thanks. she doesn't do that though. I will definitely apologize. I just want to calm down a bit about it, so it is honest, and I dont get all resentful.

Even when you're better, it still aches and i'm sure you understand completely. Kind of like addiction?

The problem with Wellbutrin, was it was cock-tailed so hard, and it acted as a non-amphetamine tri-uptake-inhibitor. At that point, they were basically trying to treat ADD with Anti-Depressants; skipping the middle man, i did just that, as ADD, Anxiety, and Depression, all intertwine i figured it was worth a shot, and i was right.

>the doctor's face when you start talking to them about brain chemistry and they have to start explaining their answers to your questions.

Well I have the ol' bipolar. I completely ignore it, bit when depressed you get really tired, and even if you get a good 8-9 hour sleep you get fucking canker sores and bags under your eyes, put on weight etc. So the physical effects are real, but if you're not a pussy you can deal with it. Its no way near as bad as the flu or something. You don't enjoy stuff, but having fun isn't everything

Sorry that was your experience. They have worked with me, and I would probably be dead, or just incredibly miserable, probably back on smack.

It hardens you, leaves you emotionally drained. No love. No hate.

hey user serious question here. im on 150mg XL bupropion for about 2 months now and I dont see any effect. however im not excersising or going out at all. i just want to feel better and these drugs are supposed to fix the chemical imbalance in your brain. How long were you taking it before you got tinnitus? any other thoughts?

were on bupropion? if so what dosage?

more about the psychic one

For me depression is like a bind. It physically feels like I'm being crushed. It physically hurts. It first binds the stomach like some sort of cramp, then the throat and makes breathing difficult. Then it drains energy from my muscles and feels like I haven't slept in a couple of days.

Generally it starts with either making a mistake or boredom, and then a lot of bad memories just start pouring into my head with no way of drowning it out and it just gets progressively worse.

For me it usually passes within an hour or so, sometimes less depending on what I can find to shift my focus to clear my head of it. Music can help, but other things/tasks that require focus that aren't too difficult can help too (the reason I say aren't too difficult, is when I'm in that state of mind making a small mistake becomes an end of the world scenario.

I get it on average 2 to 3 times a day. I just slave through it knowing it will pass.

It's hard to describe. You feel better. You don't feel happy. But you don't feel. broken.

Lol shouldn't laugh but I can relate

I was talking more about meds in general. But I am currentl on 300 mg effexor and 300 buproprian. been on effexor for like 8 years, and just recently added in the wellbutrin because Effexor isn't working as well anymore.

test

I went on a fishing trip with my dad and sisters when i was depressed. the ocean was cold, the sun was brilliant, the sky was blue, and the views of san francisco were breath-taking. we caught tons of fish. but i felt. absolutely nothing.

It depends on what you mean by "real" depression. Some people experience depression of the clinical sort, intensely suicidal swings in emotion aren't uncommon, many people suffering depression also report a general fatigue and wearyness that they can never shake, as well as a general inability to muster any kind of drive.

im on 150 bupropion...and its been 1.5 months and i cant feel a difference...what do? (its the only drug im on)

you feel like there's no point to anything. not an edgy sort of "there's no point to anything" but literally like if your body just stopped breathing, you'd be ok with dying right were you were. The idea of sitting up in bed to go to the kitchen and get something to eat seems utterly pointless. "Sit up" briefly enters your mind and you dismiss it, much preferring to just lay there even if it means you stay hungry. You don't want to interact with reality, you just want to go away, to be separate from everything.

Been on flouroxatine then citalopram (fuck spelling) for 10 years. It is artificial, but it's still you. And it's better than the alternative.

Legitimate Apathy. Not "Oh, I don't care" more "I can't feel strongly about anything".

I was 14 when i started anti-depressant medication. I'm now 22. I've been on and off different medications since then. The most harmful one i experienced was Prozac, and specifically, the resulting Abilify. That doctor was going to have me diagnosed with Schizotypal Personality Disorder as soon as i turned 18. That medication cocktail made me more psychotic than I was on just the Prozac, and i still have random muscle spasms/spine chills, and slower speech.

Medications i've personally been prescribed as follows;

Fluoxetine
Aripiprazole
>
Bupropion
Trazodone
Paroxetine

Now i take 60mg Adderall IR, and Temazepam (if i'm not drinking or something) to sleep.

I'm doing much better.

what were your experiences with bupropion? its the only drug im on 150mg, any advice? (im depressed)

I'm glad to hear you're on 150mg, please stay there and do NOT go higher, or take 150mg x2 or anything like that. the 150mg x2 is what gave me tinnitus, and the shit is permanent. actually they banned the 300mg dose I think because it caused a total shit storm from how many people it was fucking up, there's actually an article about it on forbes: forbes.com/sites/davidmaris/2012/10/10/fda-recall-points-to-serious-problems-at-the-fda/#667b632b357d

here's what I recommend user: plan to stop taking that stuff, and start eating healthier and start exercising. I recommend doing sprinting workouts, google all the insanely good benefits you receive from sprinting. plan to make life changes somehow. figure out what is making you so miserable in life. it's a lot of hard work but you can do it.

and that's a fucking understatement that can't be helped. a lot of work = years of agony and wondering if you're getting anywhere. you have to just keep pushing forward, you have to agree that you're going to strive to be healthier mentally, physically, spiritually(you don't need religion or to believe in any mystic bullshit to be spiritual about life).

that's the big trick really, you have to stop doing stuff you know is bad for you. a lot of people seem to wanna continue their lifestyles that caused the depression in the first place. your lifestyle is shit, the evidence is your depression. say no to toxic bullshit for your mind and emotions and have the courage to look elsewhere.

and I know it's hard when you are on the meds and when you're in the thick of depression to think well, but for now I would recommend to exercise, seriously.

start exercising like, intensely. it does a lot of good stuff to your brain. exercise and start eating healthy, whole foods. learn to cook if you don't know how, the core of your human existence is being a function human being: you're supposed to be healthy and fit.

good luck user.

was spam refreshing to see if you were still in the thread. i really appreciate you taking the time to respond. i honestly do not feel any better after 2 months of taking it (Maybe cuz my lifestyle is still shit?) but im gonna do what you said while getting off the meds cold turkey.

Its waking up one day and just noticing that everything's pointless shit. You ignore the eery feeling and carry on with the routines because that's what you've always done. But shit gets worse. Everything looks the same, everything feels the same, food tastes the same... Failures are emotionally harsh and victories are not victories, they're just not failures... As times goes on the feelings become more intensive and emotionally wrecking.

It's just an abstract unpleasant feeling and mindset that grows like cancer and turns everything into grey goo. It's not even one of those bad day things. It goes on for months, maybe even years.

It's like being stuck in a nightmare where nothing of interest happens but at the same time everything sucks ass.

dry mouth. disorientation. Energy, and looking back, odd almost abstract moments where I'd act out differently, I'd go on more walks, I even regained my lost libido from the Fluoxetine/Abilify cocktail. The main thing i didn't like about Wellbutrin, again - in retrospect, was the fact that i became incredibly strange in mannerisms, clingy to girls i'd just started talking to, overly emotional, etc., I acted off, said weirder than usual things, to people who didn't know me very well. With paroxetine and trazodone it was simply too much. I started getting the shits, stomach cramps, etc, and quit taking all of them immediately.

Moral of the story, it made me really strange, and act in the "this guy could possibly kill me in his car, or is just a little eccentric" vibe.

also if you're still here how long did you take it before you noticed the tinnitus? im reading the article and its pretty scary shit. thankfully it was the generic version that got recalled and not the version im using right now.

Different user here, same 150 XL single day dosage of Welbutrin. It's very mild shit and I still have some of the issues that I had prior to taking it, however, it's also very noticeable when I miss a few doses. It's not for everyone but try spreading out and weening yourself off instead of going cold turkey.

Your advice is excellent user

user here again. cold turkey isn't a good idea. try tapering off in a very gradual way. for example start out taking it every other day for a week, then once every two day for a week, etc. even only two months, there's a chance cold turkey will mess you up and that's the last thing you need is some cold turkey back firing and making you feel worse.

the biggest thing i like about it is the energy it gives me. before this i was fucking drained 24/7 never had energy and would get tired after 1-2 hours of any type of work/reading etc. idk if i should stop taking it and go back to that or keep taking it. le sigh

For me it sorta feels like that mix of anxiety/fear/dread the night before an exam you're certain you're going to fail, and it lasts all day. Sometimes i dont give a fuck about that damn "exam" and i go about my day, other days it finds its way into everything

but you would say the best idea is to gradually stop taking it then? even with the 150mg dose?

Having never had it myself --- I have been told depression is a cognitive disorder, where mental computing is slowed. So, your ability to think is hindered. I have also been told it is not 'just being sad' or anything to do with emotions at all.

Hope that helps.

I got it during the first week. I was just lying there in beed on like, day 5 and it just came on like someone flicked a fucking switch. first the right ear then the left ear a few seconds later. felt like my inner ear just unfolded or something. but yea, it just popped on and hasn't stopped ever since, which was over two years ago now

yea I think it would be wise to gradually come off it, tho start the tapering now/soon

It's an invisible wall

Btw does anyone have advice for possibly getting off of prozac and trying something else, without it being a complete shitstorm? Feels like its been losing its effectiveness lately

Talk your doctor. Tell them it's losing effectiveness, and you'd really like to try something else.

If for some reason they insist on keeping you on it and pushing up the dose, tell them you're experiencing negative side effects, and you'd like to try a different medication.

okay so you know that thing you like doing so much? yeah your favorite thing that you probably do everyday. whatever it may be, imagine feeling so dead inside that not even doing your favorite thing in the world cheers you up. hell you don't even have the energy to consider moving your body in order to do it.

that is real depression.

i hope it gets better eventually user. thanks for your time.

I'd say it's had about the same effect on me actually and I've been taking it for about 6 months. If you're concerned about the possible medical complications, talk to them about it, and work towards dropping the meds. My only advice from there is if you haven't tried behavioral therapy or seeing a psychologist, you should. They work best in tandem but, as the other user said, learning how to manage yourself better can do more things than meds ever could.

Personal example of this being- Critical event happens in life, entirely untreated the height of my depression lasted about 4 months. After therapy, next time it happened, 2 weeks. With the meds? Days. I still get the little shit, but haven't gone nuts since.

how does one tackle the problem of there being a lack of dopamine in the brain tho? these drugs are supposed to increase that, is it do-able without drugs?

American psychologist Martin Seligman initiated research on learned helplessness in 1967 at the University of Pennsylvania as an extension of his interest in depression.[4][5] This research was later expanded in experiments by Seligman and others. One of the first was an experiment by Seligman & Maier. In Part 1 of this study, three groups of dogs were placed in harnesses. Group 1 dogs were simply put in the harnesses for a period of time and later released. Groups 2 and 3 consisted of "yoked pairs". Dogs in Group 2 were given electric shocks at random times, which the dog could end by pressing a lever. Each dog in Group 3 was paired with a Group 2 dog; whenever a Group 2 dog got a shock, its paired dog in Group 3 got a shock of the same intensity and duration, but its lever did not stop the shock. To a dog in Group 3, it seemed that the shock ended at random, because it was his paired dog in Group 2 that was causing it to stop. Thus, for Group 3 dogs, the shock was "inescapable".

In Part 2 of the experiment the same three groups of dogs were tested in a shuttle-box apparatus. All the dogs could escape shocks on one side of the box by jumping over a low partition to the other side. The dogs in Groups 1 and 2 quickly learned this task and escaped the shock. Most of the Group 3 dogs, which had previously learned that nothing they did had any effect on shocks, simply lay down passively and whined when they were shocked. This is a dramatic example of the retardation of learning that typifies learned helplessness, as defined above.[4]

complete tasks.

amphetamines.

or take amphetamines, and complete tasks for better dopamine release.

thanks user. im gonna give CBT a shot

just download another video game you faggot

Increased dopamine is a symptom, not a goal. You can't just fix things by increasing dopamine. You can increase dopamine by getting drunk or taking tons of cocaine. That doesn't fix anything. You need to complete goals and tasks to get natural dopamine rewards. You can't take a shortcut with drugs.

amphetamines as in adderall? got dose reccomendations for that?

For me personally, it's living everyday and spending any free time you have putting yourself and fantasizing about the day you'll eventually hang yourself. You can have a job and minor hobbies that will temporarily distract you, but in the back of your mind, you know that eventually your relentless desire to simply not continue bothering with living will catch up to you. You always tell yourself "hang in there for a few more months" and sometimes you feel alright but some tiny little thing happens that embeds itself into you psyche that throws you into a downward spiral that you never know if you'll come out of it this time.

I feel mostly empty and disconnected from everyone, with occasional emotion.
Family is a fucking chore to associate with, wish they would just cut me off.
I force myself to socialize with friends, but it only makes me angry and frustrated knowing that relationships of any kind shouldn't this huge effort
I get frustrated at stupid little things like 90% of the time I'm sitting down I'm uncomfortable, but the fact that i get frustrated only pisses me off even more because I know how stupid it is and it leads to chain reactions where i just explode into pure rage
I don't think i know what sad feels like, death in family and the breakup from my only GF (im 19) left me wanting to feel like shit but honestly all i felt was relieved. Glad that I didn't have to pretend to give a shit about them anymore.
I recently lost my drivers license because of drink driving and both times I've been to a doctor, they pin it on that and my recent breakup and claim im simply "dealing with bad life experiences"
MDMA works as intended, but it's not real happiness, even in the short time it lasts for. I need a reason to be happy

strenuous exercise and experiencing new things are two natural ways that fix the dopamine problem.

by "experiencing new things", I mean it could be anything from exploring a new part of town, going to a new restaurant, trying to meet new friends, trying out a new hobby, walking down a different path in the woods, etc. keep feeding your brain new experiences.

there is science behind both of these recommendations you can easily look up and these are two big things that therapists will recommend as well.

>implying there's even anything worth playing

>implying im not depressed enough to not download another game.

>implying implying

this actually..makes alot of sense. ive been looking at it the wrong way and thought drugs would help even though my lifestyle is still shit. thanks user.

Drugs sometimes slap a bandaid on the wound but unlike your body, depression won't heal itself over time. Drugs can help you pretend its not there for a short time but it won't go away without change

You can do it. Start with small goals. Literally anything. Even cleaning a 1 foot by 1 foot square of space on your desk. Literally anything that requires you to take action and see the result of your action. That's all it takes. It's a starting point and you start to build progress from that small starting point. It's all about taking control of your life again. It starts small and grows. Like a guy who starts doing 1 pushup a day and winds up doing 100 a day a few years later. Small steps done continuously lead to long term change.

Some really soild med advice in this thread.
Just always remember to taper medication with a short half-life.
If you're not sure, ask your doctor.

Also, try and avoid fluoxetine. It's a fucking shit SSRI. It fucked my libido up and gave me some horrible withdrawal symptoms.

ill try both of these things. all ive been doing is fucking gaming on WoW private servers. time to find a new hobby. thanks user and welcoming any other suggestions.

I used to suffer from tinnitus. Its basically a feedback loop in your temporal lobes. I got over it by weeks of listening to music at very low volumes and diligent meditation. That was 2 years ago. Now I don't hear it at all.

Damn accurate

ehh, for me, everything is short term when i shouldnt be. I dont think of "yeah I only have to do this for a little while longer because [reason]"

it's more of just a "i only have to do this for a little while longer"

will i eventually kill myself? i dunno. maybe. I hae a friend who says that she relies on me but i doubt that. probably just says that to make me feel better. work sucks and family is non existent. oh well

You should also know that even 60 second of very strenuous exercise a day can have a profound effect on you physically and mentally. Vigorous exercise burns stress hormones which prevent you from taking action. When you burn away the stress, you are free to do more. When you do more, you feel powerful. When you feel powerful you can start to lead a more successful life.

sfgate.com/news/article/60-seconds-of-intense-exercise-may-have-same-7381399.php

yes i take adderall. dose recommendations, if you've only ever taken uppers as in caffeine, start low on an XR or low IR and it's noticed immediately.

Low being anywhere from 10-20.

I take 60 mg Instant Release, Daily.

Don't forget to eat, hydrate, before it tapers off into the end bit of the medication. I drink energy drinks frequently but don't recommend that for anyone who's not used to them, and don't recommend the heavy duty ones like Spike, as your heart may explode; however, from experience i also don't recommend Expresso.

but dosages starting low will shock you at how effective they are if you haven't been on anything upper/ADD treating before.

Also expect to feel confident, quick learning (i learned Guitar from beginning/keyboardist to a stage in a year), euphoria, focus, complacency in repetitive tasks and a feeling of success, a bit of emphasized insomnia, and without eating (you may have to force the food down), expect to feel the deepest, most empty sadness (not depression) or irritability you can fathom. I have a ton of experience with this medication, and it's helped me endlessly.

Blindboy you're a monumental faggot. I'm watching you. Know that.

Being Finnish. Even the seasons here are like depression. By default its cold and dark. Sometimes it gets a little brighter and warmer but deep down you truly know its only temporary and the darkness will come back inevitably. Some grow to love it and find comfort in it, some people don't and they will move away or succumb into madness or suicide.

same, user. it's also the most "barbie doll" feeling i've ever felt per se. you feel plastic.

yeah but in summer the daylight lasts all night in Finnland, doesnt it?

bla bla bla everyone is depressed

god i fucking hate you faggots and your need to label shit, just slap the depression label on there and you have a solid excuse to be a self loathing piece of shit.

same user here again. one last suggestion, a specific one: go to the zoo. if you have a zoo nearby and have a little money, make a day of it and go check it out. take your time and just look at all the animals. there's so much to think about and realize at the zoo

try smoking crack i hear it's great

no energy
constant thoughts of dying and or death
self hatrid to the point that you feel others lives would be better without you
staying in bed all day or sleeping for 10+ hours
lack of willpower to do anything, even doing the dishes are a huge ordeal
no sex drive and/or masturbation done as more of a "routine" than out of any desire.
self-sabotaging behavior, e.g. not seeking help
not enjoying your hobbies.

stuff like that.

I have ADHD and have been off my meds for almost a year. I can't believe I lived like this for 20 years of my life, being like this is making me want to kill myself (seriously)

I have this phases too between the sadness. I feel empty and cant rly express emotion. These phases are the most dangerous. At least for me, if i dont care about anything its easy to go.

tinnitus user here, I'm interested in the details of your method if you don't mind sharing. I'm willing to try it

that shit sounds amazing.....are there literally any downsides to using this? my favorite part about bupropion is the energy it gives me....if i can get that with adderal and avoid all the ways bupropion can fuck with me ill gladly do it. thanks user

can you please elaborate a little? are you saying you were great while being on the meds for 20 years? and then once u stopped taking them you feel like shit after a year?

For some, it's a label used to get attention and sympathy.
For most, it's a total disassociation with emotion

What most people call depression is just having a realistic view of humanity and life in general. Life is a great thing, on the level of species and ecosystems. For individuals, though, it really sucks. Individuals only survive by killing and eating other individuals-- even plants will choke each other out at the roots. But pursuit of this natural imperative to kill and eat, take and fuck is our developed complexity which requires and results in cooperative competition, and organization of individuals into groups. We form these groups because we could not be as successful without doing so. Yet, the good of the group often means the sacrifice of the individual. If you're only loyal to the group insofar as it individually benefits you, then you're a mercenary, not a member. No one will trust you, or share the benefits of being in the group with you. But if you are willing to be sacrificed for the group, there's a good chance you will be sacrificed for the benefit of others.

The life of man, to quote Hobbes, is solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short. Everyone you think is on your side is using you, or you are using them. Every friend will betray you. Every lover will cheat on you. Every supervisor will sacrifice you. Every subordinate will take you down.

Depression is knowing that most people both know and do not know this. They suspect it, and they know it is important that they not act like they believe it is true. Once you know it, it is impossible to be close to anyone, or laugh at any joke, to relax in any company. And you can never forget it. Whenever you try, people will always remind you.

To not be depressed is to be willfully and dangerously delusional.

I cried all the time and couldn't leave my home before my doc gave me meds. Now i can leave my home most of the time but im stil crying and i still feel like this little piece of shit that has everything, had no major trauma, but still cries all the time about... well, not really anything

depression of any kind is real. the only difference is in the duration and intensity.
also, although one would assume depression is sadness, anger is usually involved as well, namely anger at yourself.

however imo depression and pretty much every mental condition shouldn't be treated as a condition and more as bad habits. our brain is constantly changing with every action we take, so this "illness" view of it is complete BS tbh. it's never real in the same sense that a cancerous growth in your anus would be. although i see how the psych community can help patients, they're going about it in a way designed to suck as much money out of people as possible.

hard work and healthy relationships are the best kind of cure, generally speaking.

I went un-medicated until I was 20 years old, when I was diagnosed with ADHD that everyone else had told me was depression.

I was on adderall, 15mg 2x a day for about 2 years, then, due to circumstances with my health insurance, I lost the ability to get those meds about 8 months ago.

I am useless now, I can't do anything, anyone with ADHD that has been medicated knows how day and night it is. I fucking hate how much discrimination and sideways looks I get anytime I try to push to get my medication on my new insurance (low income) and it's driven me to such a state of real depression that I have stopped even trying. I hate everyday.

Uh... details, details... there are none. Just listen to your favorite music at a volume barely detectable by you, you can leave it on while you browse the internet for hours.
Meditation is a must, you gotta heal that brain, grow that grey matter. What helped me the most, I think, is that I treat the ringing as the absolute lowest background that can exist for me. Radical Acceptance, really. You'll notice while meditating that the world is absolutely FILLED with noise. There is no such thing as true silence. Once you realize that, it kinda...doesn't exist anymore.

Everything is basically just gay men fucking in the street.

Oh, also I sleep with the ceiling fan on, for background noise.

fucking this.

Started these medications within the last four years, learned to play guitar, became more social, left a toxic romantic relationship, and got the closest i can ever say i've been to happy; even after being on anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, etc., this is the closest I've come to escaping depression, but i don't know if I've escaped it, or not? I'm not sure that I was ever happy, and depression/anxiety both can be linked to ADD.

Unlike people who start early in life, Adderall took me from what my old psychologist called "stage 4/5 Depression, and nearing 5, catatonia", to working, i've moved out, had a car, dated and see people, started playing in a band, got productive, and i started feeling like a person.

kill your self

people that think ADHD real drive me up the fucking wall, just because doctors are lazy and misdiagnose a ton of children with it, people think it's something only children have or that it can be grown out of.

It is a real mental disability, if you have ADHD, you are disabled, and medication is basically the only solution.

But no, because of the media and lazy doctors, those of us with ADHD have to be looked at like we're fucking drug addicts.

God, I hate people

im sorry to hear this user. how did you feel while on the adderall? did it give you energy? what else? im thinking i might be similar to you, they telll me its depression but i lack focus and motivation and energy to do simple tasks.

Free Hot Dogs?

Talk to your general care about ADD.

There are downsides, it can become habit forming/addictive. The come downs will be rough when you first start using it, and if you have anxiety it could/probably will get worse. If you don't keep with your health to some degree or over exert yourself, you could damage your body by not noticing your over exertion, or become generally burnt out from dehydration/lack of eating. You may lose weight, or seem out of touch to some people because you'll be too focused in what you're doing. If anti-depressants aren't working for you, I urge you to see another doctor, or talk to someone and talk to them about re-evaluating your diagnosis, ADHD, ADD, Depression, and Anxiety, go hand and hand, are three things that are overly misdiagnosed, and they're usually one or the other, and so on.

can you describe what ADHD feels like? is it similar to depression?

thanks user, im going to do this asap.

life is shit, you're shit, everything is shit and you cant do shit about it.

depression can be enlightening but it's not as if people become depressed because because they peeled back the veil for the first time.

I hate how the trendy brainscanning crooks in psychiatry say it's simply a "chemical imbalance", but it is certainly true that there are a lot of biochemical factors at work which keep people stuck. any state of mind is not inherently permanent. depressed states of mind are enlightened to certain aspects of the absolute but they are still just as delusional as a non depressed mind.

Same user.

Seriously. People need to check their diagnosis, sometimes the depression and anxiety are due to ADD/ADHD, sometimes the lack of focus is due to Depression or Anxiety.

It's all about what direction your brain is looking, too far forward (anxiety), too far back (depression), or up in the clouds somewhere (ADD/ADHD).

>> Don't want to eat
>> feel tired a lot
>> See no point in anything
>> Nothing makes you laugh
>> You feel broken
>> You feel guilty for being this way
>> When you are with people you are a let down and always the one to be negative (shitty outlook)
>> Troll posting is the only way to get a rise out of people.

I can't describe what ADHD feels like because I've always had it. I have no "normal" to compare it to.

But I can try, consider trying to read a page in a book, you read a sentence and realize you weren't really reading it, you were thinking about the font. You read it again but this time, you were thinking about how silly it was that you didn't read it, each time you try to read it your mind seems to pull away to other things, the harder you try to focus, the harder it becomes, like quick sand.

On medication, it's like you have manual control over your focus, which is what a normal person has (or so I'm told, again, nothing to compare to)

On top of the mental issues there's also the physical issues that are caused by the chemical imbalances, which basically are the same as the physical symptoms of depression, fatigue, general lethargy, sleeping a lot, always feeling tired, etc.

im depressed to death but i still laugh at everything. not a happy laugh just like a dead, forced laugh

I'm still on Adderall (2 30mg IR's Daily).

I feel productive daily, and I am able to move through my day motivated, I have a girlfriend, I have friends, I keep up with my life, I learn quickly, and keep track of myself.

If i had this when i was in High-School instead of Prozac and Abilify, I would be so much better off, so I'm still doing catch up on my life. (I started having episodes of psychosis on them, and they told me not to return until it was under control. It didn't until i stopped seeing that doctor/taking those specific meds.)

youtube.com/watch?v=xfo1tZ95Ypk
It's like being born a crack addict.

How so?

Don't strawman it, either. If I was objectively delusional in something I wrote, point that out, and show why.

reading all this thread, never been to see doctor. I feel like i have depression, idk how did it start why is it... Man, im too scared to go see a doctor. What are my options ? All this shit with being very nervous, smoking weed, smoking cigs, im like a chimney, just puffing nonstop. Spending all my money on weed and b oring food. Barely can go to college, my homewroks are stacking, havent payed bills. Feels like i`ve been stuck and cant get out. Im just here sitting and being jelly on other people. This is so stupid, all these people... I want to die but im too scared to end it. How do i get out ?

Exactly as the other user that responded said, and on top of that, then with each time you try to read it and don't actually do it, you feel like a failure having not been able to remember it.

The same scenario with "I just had it in my fucking hand a second ago..." But on a near constant basis.

i think I understand. I have to re-read things 2-3 times to really understand what im reading. im gonna talk to my doc about adderall. thanks user

"I just had it in my fucking hand a second ago..." holy fucking shit this is literally me. My memory is complete shit if im not repeating it DAILY to myself to try and remember it. could this be ADD? my memory used to be very good but the past few years its gone to shit im 24 been diagnosed with depression.

determine the route of your problem, focus, anxious, emptiness/depression.

if you can't, talk to your general care, and then perhaps a psychologist (they just talk to you and write a diagnosis, and suggest a psychiatrist who, depending on severity, will prescribe medication).

Don't be afraid, user. Seek help when you lose control of your life.

same user here, does ADHD also cause shitty memory? like the only way you can remember things is by revising them many many times daily?

go see a doctor faggot. you most likely won't be able to go through this alone.

It's like being Rikimaru with Gondar's track over you. For the rest of your ENTIRE life.

careful with those edges bud.

>What most people call depression is just having a realistic view of humanity and life in general.
nah what you describe (which isn't the cause of everybodys depression btw) is more of a naive understanding of the way the world is and how it works.
it's exactly when you have no idea what is going on that you pre-emptively say fuck everyone because you're scared and confused.

of course there are people who will fuck you over, but there are also people who will have your back and you really just need a handful. if you actually get out there, talk to people and get a better understanding of how the world works AND how to function in it it won't be such a big deal anymore.

every edgy person/writer/philosopher ever is always a lonely autist who writes off the entire world before they can write him off.

Yep. My memory is shit and I can't remember most of my childhood. It's very upsetting.

ADHD and poor memory are well known to be highly correlated.

A strong sativa helps me a lot. I only need a few hits a day to get over the depression for a week or so.

I'm depressed and also struggle with anxiety.

The problem is that i'm too anxious to make an appointment to see a doctor. I drink almost everyday and pass out. I know i need to see a doctor but i feel embarrassed

Does the adderall help you retain information easier/for longer? does it help with remembering things?

So, looking down on people is a large part of maintaining the delusion of a cooperative society?

I agree.

being intelligent can cause depression, true, but it's up to you if you decide to dwell on the horrible things about life.

If Stephen Hawking can manage to crack jokes then I think most Cred Forums users can find a way to be happy while still being as intelligent as they are.

ADD is basically that, plus what the other user said about re-reading the same lines, losing things, forgetting things, depression, lethargy, helplessness because it's not your fault and your parents think it is, you simply cannot focus, even to a point where your eyes go out of focus and you can't read. You'd find yourself doing other tasks, when going somewhere for something very specific, perhaps even important. Hungry? Go to the kitchen and make some coffee and go back to the room you were just in OH YEAH, i was going to make some food. But constant. It happens to everyone, but it's debilitating. You're reading a book thinking about the font. Then when someone tests you on the book, you notice it's in the same font, but don't know what the book's about, failing the course, making you feel like a failure. You could possibly be great at English, but you keep thinking about Times New Roman, what does that shit mean anyways.

I want to go outside.
But ... I would need to take a shower first. My shower is clogged. Because I pee in it. Because I'm so dumb I lost the toilets keys and I am too afraid to ask for new ones. Because the keys are somewhere in this mess I live in. I should take the trash out. But the bin cannot take more than ten bags. And there are about 40 in here. What if someone sees me emptying such smelly trash ? I'll get kicked out.

My memory is shit as well and can't remember most of my childhood. Though I don't really have a problem with focusin, most of the time. Noises and moving images might distract me at times, though.
I got diagnosed with depression and I'm seeing a psychiatrist right now. We want to talk about medication, being anti-depressants.
Would it be better to go see a doctor again for a diagnosis, or can all of this occur with depression as well?

>The problem is that i'm too anxious to make an appointment to see a doctor (..) I know i need to see a doctor but i feel embarrassed
this is me

and you find that Adderall helps with this memory problem? losing shit, forgetting where you put shit, etc all those things you mentioned. thanks for still responding btw user

It was very hard for me to admit that I needed help. But when I finally did it was because I felt like I would kill myself if I had to suffer alone one more day. And I didn't want to do that to my family. Try seeing a therapist to talk to. I found a good one and now it's easy for me to open up and say things.

Shitty memory could be from anything from ADD, depression, drug abuse, up to cancer treatment.

I would talk to your general care about ADD, or describe how you've been feeling to them. Be honest with them to receive the best help.

It helps with short-term memory, yes. When on medication, it's very easy to remember things from the day without writing them down. Remembering what I just read, remembering something I learned, yeah that all works.

Long-term memory? Eh, not really.

That being said, anything you learn while on the medication does seem to be retained, so it helps with the long-term of learning.

Being intelligent causes insomnia, depression, ADD, and Anxiety.

Welcome to the "hand in hand" disorders, and the virtue that's buried in it.

Honestly sounds like you are reading this from somewhere. You don't know shit.

lol

I really have no option but to strawman it in this case, but you can tell me if the strawman actually resembles you or not

you loosely defined depression as people having a realistic view of humanity and life in general. I'd say this is inaccurate because a lot of people experience the symptoms of depression without actually thinking too far into it.

even in this thread, many people only describe the basic experiences of living under the influence of it. it's a common condition but not every experiences it the same way.

this is where I say it would be delusional, perhaps detrimental, to assume so.

also I think it is not true that it is impossible to be close with people again once you have certain knowledge or experience. in my experience, depression makes it seem that way but it is a passing state of mind if you survive it and work through it.

it took me years and I'm still on the mend, but things have improved and there's a light at the end of the tunnel. this light is a return to my baseline.

my point is, viewing the rest of the non depressed world as deluded automatons is a flawed viewpoint. this notion simply isn't true.

You can't make you move to do simple things, like turn on the light etc. You thinking about doing somthing but you never do it.

Crippling indifference to everyone and anything.
Even your own wellbeing.
No energy.
The depressed isolate themselves and without help will simple die, either by their own hand (if they can muster the required energy) or just by neglect. Lack of water, food, exercise etc.

Why do you want to know?

it depends, some ADHD is milder than others, so you may have a mild form and may not need medication, or might need a mild medication.

Welbutrin is an anti-depressent that helps with mild ADHD, though it is not labeled for ADHD applications. So if you are depressed and have mild ADHD it might be a good thing to try.

i get the drift. i had that problem too. got diagnosed as mildly depressive when i went to the doc (for another diagnosis) in 2012.
this year i'm finally seing a psychiatrist. took me 4 years of hell and my state just getting worse.
i eventually had the courage to go, after i had several mental break downs and realized that i couldn't take care properly of myself nor my enviorment, even starting to question reality.

Not sure if you've found help yet but I remember when I thought like that. Get help. Pls.

Yeah, completely flat mood you feel like a mindless drone

It's helped my memory a lot.

I also cannot remember most of my childhood though, but i remember finite details of odd things, very often. I could tell you a dream i had as a two year old, but none of my childhood addresses.

I think you know that doesn't resemble me.

I explained what it is like for me, because that's all the experience I have of it.

I never said they were automatons.

Now that you have explained yourself, I feel that your critique doesn't pertain to me or to my post.

Not gonna rant about my experience, and if you're in a depressive spell right now it'll probably sound like bullshit - but you CAN claw your way out, I swear it. And you don't kill yourself not because people will miss you - let's face it, some people really do have absolutely no one that cares about them. You stay alive because you've seen that your greatest foe in life is your mind, and nothing, NOTHING even comes close to being as challenging as that.

If you come out of it, you can be fucking invincible. Just know that the personal hell you struggle with every day does have it's value. Learn to use it. You feel numb towards the pain and misery of others? Find a job where you get paid a shit ton to deal with emotionally heavy shit. You might feel no passion towards anything, but here's the kicker when it comes to say, work - it matters less what you're passionate at, and more how good you can be at it. Find something, anything where getting good at things gets you noticed. Get so good that you cannot be ignored.

Take a little dark pleasure in seeing the ridiculous trivialities that weigh down normies. Oh my boyfriend dumped me, my workmates gossip and bully, waah life sucks. The kind of problems they will never, ever fix because they haven't seen true suffering and have absolutely no self awareness. You are self aware and you can see things about people that others can't. The practical advice I can give - get outside. Your room is comfy but it IS your 'safe space', and you don't want to be an SJW faggot.
Eventually, once you cut down the time you spend doing nothing, you won't have time to feel depressed. And suddenly the days you waste being depressed will become fewer. For me it's one day a week, if that.

And even if everything you build up as you recover comes crashing down, you can start again and it will be far easier the next time because you've seen what you can do.

You are wading through the fires of hell and surviving and that makes you strong.

you must be living in your head because i have no idea how you got that from what i wrote.
i think you quoted the wrong guy.
nah it's being an intelligent idiot.

My clothes smell as bas as the rest. I can't store them in the closet becausr the whole floor is covered with 1m of trash, thedoor are blocked. I'm hungry. But the fridge door is also blocked. I think I have some cereals in my bed. Yeah... molded. But that or nothing. I should go outside. And eat. I can't. I'm going to die in my trash. I am not worth anything else anyways. This room is still cleaner than my soul. I hurt myself, I hurt other people...
In a way it is a good thing I cannot leave. It protects others from knowing me. It is a shelter. It feels safe in here. I will not leave. Let's order sushis instead. Eat and sleep. It is the easy way out for those like me who are too shitty to kill themselves. I amnot worth dying. I should suffer and endure this.

And this goes on and on. You even end up liking this lifestyle. You end up liking boredom. You become boredom. It feels... empty.

people with ADHD, do you basically have it forever? and if you stop medicating at any point you fall back into a pit?

It doesn't hurt at all which in a way hurts the most.
The worst thing for me is that I see myself above most people but I don't want to upset them but telling them their ideas are shit. My pain comes from wanting to punch the living shit out of most people knowing that I'm not allowed to

So much. SO much. No problem, I'm awake and i was actually depressed, found this thread, and decided to try and help people where I can, I have a lot of experience in all of these issues, and to give anyone hope makes me feel better >>> which is also something i wouldn't be doing, had i not been prescribed adderall.

Thanks, user. I'll go and talk to my doc about this as soon as I have my next appointment.

Laying in bed for more than 4 hours of your day for stuff other than sleeping
Going into autopilot while walking or taking the bus, for school or work
Either completely void of thoughts or constantly filled with them

i think, sometimes i get really close to mental breakdowns, the feel of pure screaming, anger, fear, jellyness and toughts on the fucking retarted people. Sometimes i just wanna scream for no reason...

honestly i think depression is far too tolerated. most people i know with depression are beta social inepts who would rather sit and mope about their cause than actually find a solution

sure, there may be the very few who have serious hormonal imbalances but most are just attention seeking faggots

grow the fuck up

If you actually have it, then yes, you have it forever. It is a mental disability.

the people you hear about that "overcame" it or "outgrew" it were misdiagnosed. they are the reason there's so much misinformation about the disability, and yes, it is a disability.

SAME! I stopped taking meds 10 months ago. I don't see my therapist anymore but I did for 1 year b4. She was amazing and it was so nice to have someone to talk to without judgement. Now I can open up with my family and friends. At the same time I realize I can always improve.

That sounds like a cool story....can you give me your email?

Best way I can describe it is your either gasping for air or drowning when everyone else is breathing fine

>But you gotta keep going for your waifu

try weed. Less harmful then heroine and is medically proven to help the brain in producing dopamine.

t. fellow an hero aspirant

That's more bipolar. It's a different form of depression but I could be wrong. Everyone handles depression differently. I would be apathetic and I could enjoy or do anything. I wasn't even able to play games or read or whatever to cope with it. I couldn't see the point in it and knew nothing will make me happy. Taking meds now, I feel less anxious and I can at least have fun with my friends. I still know it's there, but at least it helps. The other part is for you to make the effort now. The pills give you motivation, it's up to you to make the decisions.

Personally, I feel quite empty and upset, but I struggle to put a finger on what *exactly* it is that makes me feel that way.
Whether or not it transcends a level that I'd actually think about like "I don't have tonnes of friends" or "I have no fucking money", to a level of having a general dissatisfaction with life and what it has to offer me.

this

but self loathing is cool now and we can't tell people to get over it anymore.

You defended what I call a delusion by calling me an edgelord and an autist who lacks life experience or understanding of the real world.

Point well-made. Having an out-group is an important part of feeling like you're part of an in-group.

That doesn't mean you're not delusional about your in-group, though.

When I was single and jobless it felt like every day I would wake up feeling like the biggest waste of space. When I would try to fill in job applications I would get upset enough to the point that I would just stop filling them out. Every time I would think to call my friends a little voice would tell me to stop and that I "wasn't worth their time." If I had a shot of hooking up with a cute guy I would destroy my self esteem and go home.

>Eating? Voice in my head tells me how fat end disgusting I am.

>Masturbation? Reassure myself that this is the ONLY way that I would ever get off.

>Friends? Those aren't your real friends.

>Need someone to talknow to/your therapist? They don't care, just end your life you worthless remnants of abortion scraps.

>Sleeping? You'r safe... for now.

>Waking up? Hello darkness my old friend.

If i cared enough about how much you claim I don't know, I would take a picture of all the medications I've had, or how my life was destroyed by medications, depression/ADD, I don't post on threads often enough to bother reading it from somewhere and lying. Aside that, I escaped through playing music primarily, and being re-evaluated for ADD. I'm on here giving advice, and my advice to you is to try parachuting crack.

We can discuss here just fine.

alright

my aim wasn't to debate or critique you more than it was to say that the feeling of permanence and isolation fades over time. I only wish there were some way for me to convey that in a believable way because I remember when I had similar thoughts as what you wrote.

Depression is characterised by either :

Lack of interest in previously interested activities or

Depressed mood.

If you have either of those then you're likely to be depressed.

Then there's other things that go with it such as

Guilt
Psychomotor retardation or agitation (when you feel sluggish and don't want to move)
Decreased or increased appetite
Sleep issues, either early waking or sleeping too much.
Fatigue
Issues concentrating.

That's the medical definition anyway.

This user could be right
>Diagnosed Bipolarfag reporting in

body acting on suggestion, mind's simply compliant.

add/adhd is total rubbish. focus takes practice and everyone with add wants to have a disease to make up for their laziness.

Why quit? The thing you have to learn is realize when you are having a bad day and how to fix it. It gets easier to do each time. Also keep the therapist. Even if it feels like you have nothing to talk about, trust me. I stopped seeing mine and now I regret it bc I have no one else to talk to.

I've always tried to view depression from a rational perspective.

But I believe depression would be best not strictly defined, but perhaps a metaphor. Depression's a fog that clouds all judgement, every thought, a fog that influences all thoughts trying to go through one's brain, and usually relatively negatively :\.

albeit foolish, sometimes one will allow themselves to be so overwhelmed in their emotions, usually combined with a lack of grip on reality, and could view suicide as a 'way out'

Realistically, this destroys me. Every day, and even though I am not suicidal because of how vast the universe has proven to be, it hurts me daily to think that people out there are contemplating ending the only thing they will experience, Living.

no amount of words describe it because it's a personal hell for anyone with it. the people who I've known with actual diagnosed depression (sad spoiler) killed themselves. it's that inescapable. whatever you think it could be. it's worse

Not wanting to do anything for fear if ruining it. Avoiding contact with everyone for fear of upsetting them. Absolutely everything one does never seems to have a positive outcome. Crying a lot. Suicidal thoughts/attempts a lot. Feeling like you shouldn't feel like this because everyone else does why are you special, youre not so why would anyone care about you.

everyone trying to be deep, what a giant fucking cirlejerk

i have to ask my doctor about this then. cuz i swear i am always losing shit, forgetting what im doing or why i came somewhere. its debilitating.
what dose are you on/got started off with?

your life goals change
you don't aspire to be happy
you just don't want to feel any more because everything hurts inside
you don't think you have any value to yourself or others so you close yourself off to stop wasting anyone else' time
and when you cant make any positive changes because you cant do anything right that is when killing yourself receives serious consideration

Spot the uneducated moron.

Yeah, my brain scans that show that my frontal lobe is poorly connected to the rest of my brain is just a delusion of me wanting a scape goat right?

Do not speak about things you know nothing about you petulant little shit. Grow up.

Met a shrink and he Tried to treat it with antipsychotics, after I left home for three days and ran all over the state, found out they made me... Psychotic, lol, they didn't believe me when I told them and said I never took the meds (true story). Worked through a shitty summer job to get my life back in order, some days the bouts of depression and anxiety were so bad it seemed my internal organ function was shutting down... Extreme sleep schedule, 4 hours one day 14 the next and so on. Stopped taking meds before I turned into the crazy guy yelling on street corner. Now I manage it with methamphetemine salts from regular MD after filling out a survey for adhd. Anxiety led to depression and not the other way around, not sure that counts as true depression but I'm a functional human being again and that's all that matters.

i usually break down because i just think about certain things too much. most of the time i think that everything is just a huge scheme and my friends just try to get information about me to use it against me, on purpose.
though i try to think rationally i can't. and suddenly all this self-loathing breaks in on me. first starts with anger, than sadness (sometimes with one up to three hours of literal crying) until it just leaves me empty and burnt out.
rationally thinking i know that this is not the case and that i'm sick. and at some point i finally realized that i need help to get over this.
i know it's hard finding help in the end and that alot of people just try to live through it. i guess it's the best thing if people realize for themselves before it's too late.

intelligence, is directly related to brain activity.
which keeps you up significantly at night, or day.
which causes over thinking.
which rationalizes nihilism/and empty feelings or numbness.
causes you to think about multiple things at once, which usually results with one of them hitting the back-burner.

??? tell me where i'm wrong here, but all these disorders are connected, and intelligence has been connected to all of them in a lot of studies. yes, you cannot have all of them at once, but they all are similar in the chain symptoms.

Feelings come and go, sure. But awareness persists.

No ur right that other guy is total faggot, my mom always joked about being adhd because her doctor told her she was, never took anything and then when I test positive for adhd she said the same shit about "you just have to focus, you don't need medicine!".

i was raised in a disciplined house. i am focused, but only on things i unconsciously notice. that's the misconception. the only thing rubbish about ADD is your opinion on it.

s m o k e s o m e c r a c k, c a n d y a s s

OP: Imagine ALL life as you know it stopping instantaneously. All your future, former or present actions become meaningless and everything you do to is useless. Everyone hates you... the end

Come to think of it... It's pretty much like life on Cred Forums

Sounds like you have major depressive disorder if you are crying for three hours, that's a long time to be crying

hey mate, chill murray here.
Dude I'm sorry you're feeling so down, but rationally the only reason you're feeling down is because you're festering it. Everyone has bad days, and shit happens dude,

but shouldn't you feel blessed to be alive with all your ligaments working correctly?

you were blessed with an opportunity of a lifetime and you're sitting here on Cred Forums bullshitting about feelings that won't have intrinsic value when you are 30, 40, 50,

70 with grandchildren you're going to look back on all of it. look back and contemplate why you didn't appreciate life a bit more when you were younger and more able to do anything. be realistic dude, you don't need medications to make you happy mate, you're just making your body dependent on something artificial just so you can be happy? the fuck, find happiness within yourself you bitch because that's the only way to truly be happy man. You gotta love yourself.

i'm not trying to be some dick, but seriously emotions that you let control your life are bound to get you feeling down. Take a step back and realize.

I take it. Been taking it for 2.5 months? It's helped. He might be talking about SSRI's which are a different antidepressant. Bubropion is a "safe" antidepressant. Just my two cents.

It's worth inquiring about. I started on a 15mg Extended Release dosage of Adderall. Went up to 20, then 30 on XRs, then 30mg IR.

I am now on 60mg of Instant Release Adderall, in the form of two thirties, at separate intervals of the day, and sleeping medication.

> i just think about certain things too much
for example, in college they give us many homeworks to do, and im starting to panic. ''omg, how i will ever do this ? that is so much..'' and so on, reading other user replies and stories gives me one thing to do, to get help, but again my wall just comes up and blocks the tought of getting help, cuz u know, home is where no problems are...

you're my hero right now not gonna lie. East coast here and i could not bring myself to write all of that.

... not to be a dick? top kek

No offense, but you obviously don't have a problem with depression. Whoptydoo lucky you...

i had same experience on abilify

also, do you mean mixed amphetamine salts, or dysoxen; gyazo.com/37ebd5eeec429de54a4cf80bab9bac93

I've felt like this a few times in the past few days, I feel like every time it's triggered by stomach discomfort (flu-ish).
When I feel physically better everything is ok again, but those memories really stick to ya, and today again when my stomach even feels funny those memories pop back up and just thinking of that makes me extremely anxious which of course drags me further down.
I have great friends who I can talk to about this, great parents too, we've grown a lot closer the past few months, but is there anything else I can do?

same user here. do you excercise? eat healthy? get enough sleep? ( i assume not cuz its like 5am lol) do you have a poor memory? if so has it helped with that? and finally in what ways do you feel it has helped you. thanks for responding user.

feelings of severe despondency and dejection.

Well actually I'm a famous writer.....I'll be fine stealing your idea actually.....you cumdumpster

This blog post did a really fucking good job of summing up two things.

Firstly how my depression feels.

Second how fucking pissed off I get at people who think they're depressed because local team lost at sportsball, or they got a C instead of an A, or because they couldn't find a fucking date to the junior spring homecoming mixerfuck Dance, or wtf they call that shit these days.

It's a good bait, but you should have kept it shorter

...and I forgot to post the fucking link.

titaniumteddybear.net/2012/08/20/depression-kills-you-are-not-depressed/

Shit this is pretty much how I feel all the time. Only a few things I don't feel apathetic about and that's doing things with my good friends or playing certain games. Aside from that work, university, being active and doing things.

Hell even games I'm a whole lot less enthusiastic about.

all due respect, but that's a triangle

...

user 1 that i told to smoke crack is back, abandon ship.

You just have the feeling you dont want to do anything, anything matters to you at all, you just want to run away of everything and sometimes you think suicide is the easiest way, but you still feel to tired to do anything, you just want to sleep and never wake up

Go ahead !

Being depressed completely changes how you perceive things. It doesn't feel irrational or like you're sad all the time for no reason, it feels like everything is wrong and nothing is worth doing. Very little makes you happy in any way, and life just feels like it's a chore rather than something to enjoy.

Eventually it stops being shit and starts feeling normal. You stop being able to remember what enjoying life is like and believe that how you're feeling is the way things really are. You just kind of get on with it without noticing how shitty you feel. It usually ends up 'snapping' eventually and leading to a small breakdown where you vent all the shit you've bottled. Rinse and repeat if you don't get better after or kill yourself.

i said that because sometimes you gotta be blunt, i.e when i told him to stop being a bitch and face his fucking feelings because thats what you pussies need to do.
(not specifically you mate,just in general)but You know you can accomplish anything you set your mind to.

No offense but you obviously don't have aproblem with depression, don't be too quick to be defensive and point towards the other dick because you have problems, it's a common misconception.

Too many people get caught up in labels that don't even fuckin matter, not to go tumblrlilbitch on you but what the fuck does it matter if i do or do not suffer from 'depression' currently? Shit doesn't matter i just want you cucks to realize how great life really is.

Once you get in the mindset of what we like to call depression i agree, it's hard but you know you fucking can. you know you fuckin will live a life that is Only as Great as you make it out to be.

I contemplated suicide multiple times when i was younger and naive, but i'm glad i didn't go through with it.

If that doesn't describe how you feel when you are 66 years old, then you didn't have problems with 'depression.' haha im kidding, but fuck trying to make me seem superior with your whoopty fuckin doos, I juswanted you to love.

Diagnosed massive medication resistant depression for my adult life. Been on pretty much every medication, multiple therapists, some experimental shit, nothing does anything. I'd be just as fine sitting in a grey box as I would be living in a giant mansion. I just don't care, I'm too exhausted. The energy it takes even just to get up in the morning and do the basics of being alive feels overwhelming. I'm not sad, I'm nothing. Knowing that I have to do this every single day for the rest of my life doesn't help either. I just want to die and be done with it. I know that I have no reason to be like this, great friends, good job, great family, relatively attractive, pretty smart, etc.. It wasn't even always like this, it just kind of happened. With the kind I have you aren't sad, you're physically and mentally exhausted all day every day and you don't care about or want anything except to die because it's too exhausting to go on with daily life for decades

i don't have an "in-group". i have my own understanding of the world that is constantly changing with the experiences i have. this understanding isn't complete nor will it ever be complete, but it works. it's nothing to do with exclusion, i get that you think everyone is out to leave you out to fuck off and die and you project it onto everyone you meet but that's all in your head.
life happens and friends/lovers come and go, it's almost never personal unless you choose to make it and if you're unable to roll with change then you're in for a rough/lonely ride.

Worst thing about it is that in your head you genuinely think you want to do this and that but your brain doesn't give you any kind of positive buzz of energy and excitement to actually start anything and if you force yourself you get no emotional reward good feeling out of it and you process everything purely analytically. Like going to see a band you've enjoyed and had good feeling while listening to seems flat and soulless even though you know they are playing well, everyone around you is hyped and going with the flow but you go trough the songs like you are watching traffic at the side of a road pass by.

sameanon here

Well, I must say I thought this was bait. But telling someone with depression to "buck up" is like telling someone with Pancreatic Cancer to get over it... It just doesn't work that way.

And to be really blunt: EVERY teenager contemplates suicide. When you have REAL depression it becomes a perfectly reasonable way out of the misery...

Be happy you haven't felt this way user.

Generic adderall

dubs of truth

FibOnacci

>friends/lovers come and go
>almost never personal

What is it? Business?

> if you're unable to roll with change then you're in for a rough/lonely ride.

I think you're oversimplifying my point, but not changing it very much, except to make it into a personal critique of my resilience, rather than a critique of the nature of life and being human.

If you want to say that my dissatisfaction with life and human society is all my fault, you can say that. I think it's patently ridiculous, but it's not below par for Cred Forums. If you want to keep trying to make yourself be satisfied with it, I won't stop you.

A diagnosis, like the one I have.

Ok, who left the flood gates open for tumblr?

>thinking about multiple things at once
think about how useful this would be if you're on an intellectual pursuit.
life is too complicated, every single person who has ever tried to figure life out has failed, lived a terrible life and/or killed themselves. is this because they stumbled upon the piece of information that caused them to do so? never.

many intelligent people have a tendency to neglect the use of their heart and to get emotional over intellectual issues. that is stupidity at its finest.

oh boo fucking hoo poor little you

i swear to you, it means mixed amphetamines. Lmao, not methamphetamine.

...

i believe that your frontal lobe is poorly connected.
i also know for a fact it's because you're a lazy motherfucker.
brain change is possible both ways and years upon years of being a lazy motherfucker will do that to your brain.
it's not easy to change of course because fuck that would require effort.

Oh! Lol.

kek, yeah I know, sorry for the faggotry. Just felt tumblr-boy needed a reply

I gotta get ready for work, nobody kill themselves today

Complete and utter hopelessness. Feeling like you are alone in a black abyss, forever, with no way of escaping.

you right. he's at home triggered as we speak.

from ADD to wake me up inside

>methamphetamemes

>What is it? Business?
it's not purely transactional, you just have a very needy and overly melodramatic view of what relationships should be. that's exactly where your delusion lies. nothing is forever except maybe sometimes it might be, it's complicated with too many variables and you don't want to accept that you want to intellectualize it like a fucking moron.

>I think you're oversimplifying my point, but not changing it very much, except to make it into a personal critique of my resilience, rather than a critique of the nature of life and being human.
are you a morrissey fan by any chance?
it's not so much about resilience and more about you being unable to deal with change.
it's funny because i don't think you have any idea about the nature of life or being human. it's easy to critique the world when you're not a part of it.

I think i agree with you, but you trailed in a way that got hard to follow, this early in the morning.

i think that getting emotional over intellectual issues is definitely stupid. there's different forms of intelligence though, emotional intelligence, versus like problem solving and shit. So per se, the person you're describing would be emotionally unintelligent, i guess.

hating the time of the year when your birthday comes around because it's always the worst day of your year perfectly describes it for me.

I'm disappointed at your inability to develop your argument beyond criticizing my resilience, or lack thereof. It shocks me that you can look around and believe that, in sum, the world is a good place filled with mostly good, happy people doing good things to each other. And you call me naive for having a differing view.

Well, that's boring. Take the final word, if you want it.

Accurate as fuck.

everyone's doing their own, subjective good.

people doing terrible things all around the world right now think they're working for a greater good, or aren't at fault for it.

they've convinced themselves they're good.

Depression to me is being completely disappointed with life. Feeling helpless and alone and unable to deal with life. It's having no hope for the future and focusing on personal failures in the past so much that it drives you crazy.

I'm pretty depressed right now. I guess the only way to move a mountain is to first carry away small stones, but the mountain looks awful big now.