Today is my 30th birthday and I have never put my penis inside a woman

so close to quads

...

This thread is ridiculous. Also 666 get.

>fucking filename

Op should kill himself

Why don't you just hire an escort OP? Shit, I'd hire one for you if I knew you. Are you aesexual or somthing.

>that godamned filename
It's like not even trying to hide you are from there.

>filename
Fucking flaming faggot

>weight
>height
>hair status
>acne status
>job if any
>education if any
>dick size
>number of forks in kitchen

Ever try the spell "an hero"?

>ITT: ask a wizard anything
>doesn't answer shit

roll for 666

...

I got you
me from other thread

God is mocking you OP

Not OP, but a wizard (virgin 30 year old)
280 lb
6'3''
Full head of hair, kept short (buzz cut, #3)
Sometimes get a pimple. Having 2 or more is rare.
IT Technician (39k per year)
8 credits away from AA
5 inches erect. :/
uhhh...6.

Satanic Trips roll

Congrats mate. Hit my 3 X's 2 months ago

OP here
>275
>5'7
>full head of brown hair with ponytail, kinda greasy
>heavy chin acne but that's it
>I work at gamestop as a cashier
>high school education
>5 inches erect
>live with parents, in my basement, also ranked in the top 20 in wow

Who cares. Meaning it's no big fucking deal. Not trying to whitenight. It's the "I'm 30 and a v-v-v-virgin...oh no." First of all, you don't need to tell people. The only downside is the lack of experience when you do have sex. Backpage?
Tinder 5/10 and under whores? Whatever.

get

so that's the price huh..

dude shut the fuck up you newfag and get out of here Cred Forums isn't for you

kill urself OP

OP again

I actually almost got laid, I was so close it was last week. So close

>438
>5' 9"
>balding
>some facial acne, pizza back
>no job/live with grandmother
>ged
>4.5" erect
>2 forks

...

You must literally be autistic since you sound above average except for the dick part

...

Hope this is not true

post a pic of yourself I'm intrigued as to whether you're ugly of just that autistic

Sex isnt that great anyways.

>560 pounds
>5,1
>Long ponytail, always greasy
>I have pimples all over my face, small neck beard
>I am a wow YouTuber
>I am a high school graduate
>3,1 inches erect
>I have not been out of my room in 5 months

...

>560 pounds
>5,1
Bullshit

...

VIRGIN DETECTED

No fucking shit

I'm always waiting to hear from the virgin god who transcended beyond sex and other useless activities. I still haven't heard from him yet. Well guess what faggot Im not a virgin and im the level 30 dark wizard. and the secret is to give a shit about fucking improving yourself instead of just jerking off all fucking day.

check em

Spoken like a true virgin sex is great

>cringe

embrace your powers

Not a virgin faggot. Most people will agree with me when i say sex isnt as you expect.

do it faggot

>172
>6' 2"
>long, greasy, dyed black
>my face is basically acne
>hand out flyers for the church of satan
>school sucks man
>big enuf man
>live on hot pockets, so none

timestamp faggot, when was the last time you saw your dick to measure anyways?

the bounty is plentiful lad go out and get urself laid

Actual virgins

by most people you mean fat virgin neckbeard WOW fags that literally jerk their 2 inch chodes to the thought of tossing George R.R. Martin's salad

no no my point is not to go out and get laid you could be learning shit instead that improves yourself for example exercise and learning how to code. Or maybe start a charity to end poverty!

>also ranked in the top 20 in wow

Prove it

>haven't been weighed since I've become too fat leave bedroom
>5'2"
>bald in front, long, red, curly, greasy in back
>no acne but covered in acne scars
>review movies online for money
>doctorate in political science
>haven't seen my dick for a long time
>only use the plastic forks that come with the takeaway

>implying you can't do all those things while still being able to get laid
>"learning how to code"
>an hero

>review movies online for money

How? Is it like.. A job, or something anyone can do?

>learning how to code. Or maybe start a charity to end poverty!
Please be sarcasm

>learning how to code

this can't be real

Dude get your testosterone level checked, I went for years like one of you, then doctor did a simple check, found out I had a tiny tumour and now I am virile man with potent dick that has seen the inside of many vaginal canals!

go to sleep

I get paid for it you Insignificant pleb

yes, you can do all those things while getting laid, but that's not my point. My point is to no longer need sex.

go to a prostitute
done
dont become a magician beyond imaginitation

Oh that's easy, cut your sack open and have shaman suck your nuts out

No shit. That's not what I asked. Is it a job, as in, someone needs to hire you, or can anyone do it?

>158
>6'1'
>Full head of hair. Kind of a jewfro.
>Some pimples, but they arent noticeable at first glance.
>McWages
>CompSci junior
>5.5
>10 ish? Just unloaded the dishwasher.

Holy shit, you fuckers are either autistic "bros" or preteens bragging about having sex only once

Do it

hey how about you go kill yourself motherfucker you don't know who I am. I'm actually the owner of my own business and make over 200,000 a year on a bad year. My wife is a model and I drive a fucking Ferari. So fuck you you're probably a preteen homosexual that wants to put his tiny uncircumsized cock inside some eitheopian fags mouth in exchange for AIDS pussy

>IT Technician
>39k per year
You're doing it wrong

level 36 wizard reporting in.

>Cred Forums isn't for you
lol bro i thought summer ended months ago

R we still rollin?

I don't get it what's so funny? Was there an error in my grammar?

Well OP there you go.
We'll be waiting for you to an hero

Satan's here

Please kill your self OP

24 yo virgin here
>3 weeks ago
>riding elevator from 3rd floor of my work building to parking deck
>rip one, it was a hot one and it smelt vile
>door opens, random girl from another floor walks in
>10/10 qt3.14
>doors close, her expression changes to disgust
>try to laugh it off, literally forces a fart out and she hears it
>want to kill myself
>she pukes
>I puke
>she slips on my puke
>doors open, and as a walk out I awkwardly whisper "Sorry, I ate beans"
>sorry i ate beans

Witness

>Time to die

Hi Satan, can you maybe go talk to John for me? Maybe convince him to be less of a pussy? Thanks in advance.

he's doneit

See
Ann Hiro pls

I fucked your mom In your Ferrari and your gf is actually as dude

Do it op

That sucks man but good luck

Eurofag here
>70kg
>170cm
>brown, emo and hitler's mix
>if one comes then it comes big
>nope but parents still give me money
>cook with papers
>4cm
>i live with parents and they have about 17

Make it happen.

Don't do this op just go to a whoker

Well in celebration, we should raid!
>I'TSBEENTOOLONG.JPG

OP, you were supposed to stream your an hero moment, this is why you never got laid, you can't fucking follow through on anything.

Hitler quads

I used to sympathize with fags like you when I was a 21 yo virgin. Then I learned you must be a faggot/queer/weirdo/autist. Bro just go stick your dick in a random girl and your confidence will blow up.

Wtf... also Checked

>less than 3 months to my 20th birthday
My gf is 17 and i want that poon

the aether literally just told you not to an hero