I've been eating the fuck out of caramlized onions lately but my wife threatened to leave me from the a) house reeking...

I've been eating the fuck out of caramlized onions lately but my wife threatened to leave me from the a) house reeking of onions and b) my gas smells like onions! What do Cred Forums?!?!

Stop eating onions you autistic shit for brains, sorry for you're loss of delicious onions. I fuckin love caramelized onions.

Didn't think you'd need the Internet to solve this one for ya scoob.

you're gonna let a woman get between you and caramelized onions?

how do you live with yourself user

>take caramelized onions
>make into french onion soup
next time she threatens to leave say you would rather have the soup
>MOTHERFUCKIN FRENCH ONION SOUP

...

those aren't onions... those are tape worms

i'll let her keep the house

Get a better wife who won't threten to leave you over something so insignificant like eating onions. Your marriage is doomed anyway.

How about go guck yourself woman I'll eat all the caramelised onions I want, fuck

www(dot)plentyoffish(dot)com

...

Be like Mike.

swap to shallots
when she complains about those
swap to garlic
when she complains about those
swap to radishes

Kick her out

Say goodbye to your wife

Ignore her. She is beneath you.


Onions are love.

Onions are life.

Too much garlic will give you killer gas too. Worth it.

I havent laughed this hard in a long time... I'm still in pain

>buy 10# bag of onions
>wait for wife to leave for a couple hours
>start frying onions
>take all her clothes
>hold each of them over the cooking onions for 15-20min
>put them back
>empty bank accounts
>take pay day loans in her name
>disappear to country w/ no extradition treaty
>sell kids while traveling through Mexico to your new home

if she is going to leave you over onions then she doesn't
1.) actually love you
2.) doesn't exist
3.) is a pillow
4.) ???
5.) Profit

Get a cast iron pan and cook them outside on your grill.

If that doesn't satisfy her, buy her a dildo so she can go fuck herself.

...

kill wife. abscond onion. true love.

Cabbage Stilton cheese and chilli sauce.
I had his last night and I can't handle my own farts
It's going to be a long drive to work for my freind this morning.

I think this situation calls for a good ol' dutch oven.

There is only one answer.
>Shoot wife.
>Butcher her corpse.
>Consume human flesh smothered in caramelized onions.

keep eating those onions. Shits good for you.

Do you mean to tell me that OP's gas is so fucking bad that his fucking animu body pillow is gonna walk out on him?

>Cabage
>Stilton
>Chili
What the fuck is wrong with you, god that is so bad I can fucking Imagine the smell

>buy 10# bag of onions
>10#

I were stoned and not gone shopping
So I just threw stuff I liked together.
It's terrible
>think I'm going to turn window off at passenger side and air on to full heat to make him gag
I'm not even going to shit until I get to work so it's fresh from the sorce

why do you think it was called "the pound sign" before twitter appropriated it?

Oh, you millenial faggot!

>use something in a way that was common prior to 1995
>get called millennial
are you retarded?

kill your wife, caramelize her, then find someone else to fuck

this, and i would add that you should also find a wife who likes eating the shit you do.