You see a cutie pie at the bar checking you out. What's your move??

this

i'm so bad at hitting on girls the only time i get laid is when borderline fat chicks rape me

>Walk up to her confidently
>Make all the right moves
>Get her home to bed
>Ready to fuck
>DiamondDick.png
>About to stick it in
>Wake up
>In a hot sweat and no grill just tissues
>Another dream
>Too sad to even fap

nothing wrong with fucking a bar chick

you just have to be smart enough not to ever date her

Í you think you make a move for age going to fail massively... Only exception is if she's a drd infested ho

This...

think about why the fuck shes checking out a fat, ugly, faggot weeb then wonder why im not at home fapping on Cred Forums

Well I'm not sure how it would all go, but I'd smile at her, maybe even give a quick nod in her direction. If she responds positively then I'd go over and say hello then try to get a conversation gong. Then from there I'd try to build a good rapport with her and try to initiate some basic physical contact as the conversation progresses. At some stage I'd probably try to kiss her, if she's up for that then I'd do it some more throughout the night. Then once I feel like we're both comfortable with each other I'd ask her to join me somewhere else. Maybe get a drink at another bar or get something to eat, that type of shit.

Nah, just kidding. If I saw a beautiful woman checking me out I'd assume she was looking at another more attractive man behind me and ignore her. I'm ugly, attractive women do not check out ugly men.

introduce myself, small talk until we find an area of mutual interest, then order drink, move to a table for more intimate chatting

????

Proft

>fapps anyway

Wonder who the fuck she is looking at coz it isn't me. Get a skin full and go have a chat. Get drunker and funnier.

Make her laugh make her breakfast.

I don't hang out in degenerate shitholes. But for the sake of this thread, I would ignore her because I probably don't want to be there in the first place.

Act like I don't notice and try to avoid eye contact.

>Walk up confidently
>Introduce myself
>She introduces herself with a shit ton of names and titles or whatever
>okaythen.jpg
>Try to make a serious move
>Big-ass dragon walks up and puts his wing around her waist
>Mfw I was hitting on the Mother of Dragons

>Fuck it because I'm researching in backpacking through Chernobyl at 1 in the morning have nothing better today.

Probably head nob, smile and ask a simple question in a curious but not interested tone format tone

"Long night?"

Worked for me in Alaska.

Well first I'd slide up to the bar and open up with "Hey baby, you walking to your car alone tonight?"

Walk up and start talking about the weather and the economy

check her out, I don't make moves

I'd ask if she was a Trumpet or a Shillary

Bow down to the Mother of Dragons.

freak the fuck out. I never go to bars. how and why am I here? what has happened? what's going on?!?!!?

>Walk toward her with style
>Say: M'lady
>*Tips fedora*
>Fuck her hard

Moonwalk past the chick and as she's distracted by my awesome moves, I drop a roofie in her drink

I'd tell I need to get home to invalid wife in a few hours and ask if she'd like to spend a couple of hours in bed helping me relieve the stress I feel from having taken care of said bedridden wife for the last 5 years. It's worked for me 4 times now and 2 women have become regular sex partners.

>walk up to her
>start looking for something on the floor
>she asks "are you looking for something?"
>"I'm looking for an excuse to start a conversation with you!"
>she laughs
>we start talking
>then she asks "what do you do for a living?"
>"I'm a NEET"
>she rolls her eyes and walks away
>remember why I'm here drinking alone in the bar in the first place
>out of money, can't afford to tip bartender well
>go home and cry myself to sleep

This is instinctive with me.

No one I don't know would look my way, they're looking past me at someone behind me. If there's no one there, the only thing that comes to mind is:

>Dumb bitch! She's looking past me at the wall in the background. I would never flirt with a potato like that.

Then I'd finish my nesquik, run my thumbs through my suspenders holding up my swimming shorts, and moonwalk away. "Don't it deal" sunglasses look.

>Other women will cuck your wife with you with zero qualms
Damn son.

...

This, even if I did manage to get her home it'd be a whole other level of autism trying anything

I hear ya bro

>borderline fat chicks rape me
Gonna need some details there, chief. A greentext would be even better.

Are you me?

lost

Doesn't feel good, does it?

Used to be me till I got a gf. Was amazing, she actually asked me out.

Even though this whole thing is hypothetical you still made me cringe. That's how much of a sanctimonious cunt you seem like.

Dude girls are so fucking easy, literally hold ur hand out and lead them to cock

Completely ignore her. This shows that I respect her and I am not a common loser who hits on every girls that even looks at them. When she leaves, smile at her like she is my best friend, because, you know, she understands me and I understand her. We're two mature adults who don't play games.

Go home alone and wonder why I am always alone since I am so respectful and mature.

I can talk to them and stuff and maybe lure or drug them home, but when it comes to getting down to actually doing anything I am borderline retarded

She looks like a feminist. She wants equal rights. She has to come over, tell you how beautiful you are, buy you drinks, walk you home, wine and dine, fuck your brains out, leave and never call you back.

>literally hold ur hand out and lead them to cock
That sounds like a good way to make them laugh at you.

Tell her how you almost had quads.

>Getting feminists to embrace actual equality
Wish in one hand and shit in the other.

I check myself out to find out if I got a boogar showing, fly unzipped, etc... try to find out why she is looking my way. I also look behind me to see if she is really checking someone else out.

...

>Swagger up to her
>Ask "does this smell like chloroform to you?"
>???
>Bury her corpse in a secluded area, after you've finished with her.

I walk up to here, give her a big smile and whisper in her ear, "Has anyone really been far as decided to use even go want to do look more like?"

>Akwardly walk up to her
>Hands in my pockets
>Don't make eye contact
>HHHHH HHH HII?
>Hhh hooow aaaarrree yyyy yyou?
>Feel weird
>180 and quickly walk away

> swagger up to her
> have tooth pick in mouth
> "Hey bitch, let me smell that snatch"
> She says no
> Pull out gun, stick it in her mouth and say " I weren't asking"

Tell her to move her head so I can see the cute guy behind him

...

>literally hold ur hand out and lead them to cock

This is the only way I ever had a woman touch my dick. She put her hand on me and I put her hand on my dick, she immediately unzipped my pants and have me a handjob.

>scoff
>turn to bartender, say she's buying me a drink
>walk over to her with drink
>throw it in her face, explain that her elbows are too pointy and walk out with a tip of the hat
>proceed to drown in pussy

Start shitting my pants.
Keep shitting my pants.
Shit my pants until they explode.
Shit until the pile reaches up to my head.
Shit until it forms into a large igloo.
Crawl inside and wait for the mating process to begin.

Hey I got osteoporosis

I kneel before Daenerys Stormborn, the Unburnt Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar, and of the First Men; Queen of Meereen; Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea; Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons!

This except public restroom asap

Kek

>spin around on the barstool then walk the fuck out

I've had enough pain and suffering in my life for the time being. I'd prefer to stay single until I'm strong enough to handle it.

Yeah, sure... wait 4-5 years until you're 17, and then try again.

Winter is Coming.

Hi i'm Jack Winter.

that girl has a penis though

Order a couple drinks and go back to the no doubt on going pool game

if shes looking at me smile.
if not, keep glancing over every now and then to try and meet eyes, then smile

once thats done i will lift one of my arms (the one not containing a drink) and wave at her.

after then i will walk over to her, but not so fast that it startles her. but not so slow that she loses interest.

once im in her vinicity i tell her

"ur a fuckin skank lol"

My best friend died after fighting cancer for 8 years, I just had an appendectomy, and because of those two things I'm broke and horribly behind at work and college.

You're hysterical.

Probz break eye contact and hide away before leaving

Always happy to cheer up a fellow loser, don't mention it!

Buy some eggs at the bar (assuming it serves food as well)

Tell her she needs to eat all of them

They should have removed your voice box if all you're going to use it for is to whine.

oi luv u lookin for sum willy yea? hehe reckon i can help u out there ;)

>because talking to someone of the opposite gender automatically means looking for a long term relationship.

ha, no one ever checks me out.

More than one million men were wounded or killed in the Battle of the Somme, making it one of the bloodiest battles in human history.

Sup girl, my gamerscore is 62,550

Truthfully, I probably wouldn't notice. I have very little social awareness.

To my knowledge, I have never been checked out.

Drop my cigarette in her drink and say "hey baby Ive got all five pieces if exodia at home now show me what that thang do." Then I clench all my muscles at once to display my physical prowess. Works every time

>realize every human in probably very insecure
>looking dope in the mirror.
>break Cred Forums's unbreakable rule of having to be 6 feet+
>rewards due to mother nature

I'm working in a job where you have to be offensive about that, using tools as small talk and exchanging names is absolutely normal. You get used to it, so one little girl is not going to impress me.

On a personal note: I'm divorced and still prefer a 2D waifu and onahole as I'm already financially bleeding enough. I'd wave my glass, throw a polite smile and nod and keep going back to my business.

I'd probably close one of my nostrils and inflate my large, pink, elastic nasal septum. I'm a hooded seal btw.

oh our professional ladykiller can't even find a normal girl who's not a raging gold digging whore or score one night stands for free. I'd wave my glass, as in tips my fedora?

Go back to fantasizing in your man cave please

Impossible because I never leave my room

>WISDOM
Everynow and then we break the rules and all hell breaks out in our lives. pic related.

these are my moves:
youtube.com/watch?v=sfFsnm7mk1c

Always depends on what you're earning. If you're earning enough, the woman doesn't see any benefit in going to work (plus our tax system strongly supports one earning person in a marriage). Get older, bring home money and you'll see.

Oh, and every sales rep or whatever accountant can do the same. I've never seen a shy one. It doesn't take to be a ladykiller to speak to a female human. She's not gonna hurt you nor will you fail a decisive project/customer.

forgot to say, Chinese and they're natural.

Ok, perhaps this was a little unfair from my side not to tell the circumstances. I'm 39+ and the woman I meet are going into their midlife crisis. They think hard about having kids, what else to do in life and are in urgent need of a father and/or meal ticket. Keep in mind that nowadays the biological limit for a woman to be a mom is set to roughly 40yo. The woman all have gone through their education, have jobs and earning their own money. Getting 2 children will kick you 3+ years out of business.

If the woman is far under 30, she's not thinking about this. This might be the basic misunderstanding in our scenario.

Leave the bar. Why am I in a bar?