Hey Cred Forums

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Not really. My girlfriend tries to, but there isn't a lot you can do when you just don't get it. I'm detached, and generally absent minded at all times, so it's hard for me to be close to people. I'm distant I guess.

Theres nothing wrong with that but you must feel isolated. Do you take meds and or have professional help?

I'm not too sure. I don't remember the details.

Yeah, it's not how you'd think though. It's not like I physically see things, it's like a filter, another layer on my vision, I'm thinking them there, they aren't really there, but that realization doesn't make it any less intense. I see little brown-black figures, like three feet tall tops. They follow me around in bands sometimes, it's like they're constantly stabbing me with shit, like they're not dangerous, or meant to be, but they're overwhelming sometimes. I have a couple of "others" in my head, but it isn't like I hear them whisper or some shit. It's like a parallel thought process in there, with it's own personality and identity. Unfortunately he isn't the nicest guy so it can be a bit much sometimes. When I was really little my mom said I was always staring off at shit, and that I was always talking about shit that I was seeing in the dark. So there's that.

I'll be sure to check it out, thanks.

More like this please.

Yeah, I'm isolated. I don't get along with people, and they look at me weird. I can't hold conversations, people bore me and I'm generally pretty jaded about things. I don't take meds, and I haven't looked for help because I dont think it will work, and I've done shit that would deem me a danger to myself or others, so I don't want to get locked up.

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Have you had a diagnosis from a psychiatrist?
I'm trying to help you BTW

Do you work?

Also something a little random I thought you guys may find interesting. I know it sounds cliche, but I have a sort of obsession with Hell. I can't stop reading about it, in different cultures, but mostly the Catholic Hell that I focus on. I obsess over Demonic characters, and things of that nature. I have dreams about Hell a lot, and it's a re-occuring theme in my idle thoughts. The thing I think you guys might find interesting - when I think of Hell, how I imagine it is a desert/mountain scape, sand, gray stone, no green, but the souls all sound like violins. Like that's what souls sound like when they wail or something. I just have this image that won't go away, of the Hellscape I've basically imagined through the years, howling wind and violins playing in diminished notes that don't really exist. Hope that makes sense at all.

I am not a schizophreniac, but i also have very weird dreams and nightmares. I see a lot of narrow dark tunnels and basements, long train tunnels, very thick air and red flickering lights. Shaking figures with faintly glowing eyes in the dark places, also. Very often I find myself in some hellish rooms and halls filled with all sorts of unimaginable things and creatures. Very hard to explain, but it feels like i travel through the worlds that are very similar to the visions of Beksinski. All the things and creatures there are just WEIRD and interact with me and each other in VERY WEIRD ways and evoke all sorts of fear and other emotions, they don't even have to attack, just being there makes me lose my shit in the dream.

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Did you have a religious upbringing?

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How was school for you?

I dont get it, why the majority of the shit you guys see is totally weird/dark/murderous? Why can't you guys see barney or a hot bitch getting plowed by an even hotter bitch.

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Is it the people around you or is it voices inside your mind?

I personally have always suffered from schitzophrenia but it's always just been people who get taken over by my vivid imagination. They start waving around their arms, talking about how everything is a fungus, and how they are the warding against possession. I hate it.

No, I haven't actually. For a long ass time I thought it was just normal, and that maybe I wasn't really feeling what I thought I was feeling. I felt that way until I talked to my mother about it a couple of years ago. She got really pale and she started crying, she told me that she has the same thing, and that she's had it ever since she was young. She always talked to Demons that weren't there and felt disconnected. The more I looked at her after that, the more I realized how crazy my mom really is, and how similar I am to her. My father also has a problem grasping reality, and he has his fair share of mental illness, so I guess I'm just fucked on genes.

Keep it coming if you don't mind, I'm really into these. I appreciate it.

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You have been visited by Trips Fairy! A rare treat. Please enjoy this token for your impressive roll! Congratulations, user.

YouTube 'Exploring the Cthulu Mythos'. The series is great and eldritch horror is the best horror.

>Creatures that would end existence if they wake up, as our reality is just one of their dreams
>Fish people making pacts with villages to breed with their women and make sketchy fishy mutants
>People loosing their minds after communing with stuff to abstract to properly understand

Lovecraft is great.

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Ever try any drugs? How do you react to them?

Also, no, not right now. Had a job (first and only so far) a few months ago at Walgreens but I quit. I didn't handle the people very well, and I started having breakdowns at work. I was inches away from killing my co-worker one night, because we were all alone closing and I just couldn't stop staring at her, and I almost did it.

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Watch Event Horizon.

Afterlife? Don't make me laugh. Next thing you'll be telling me there was a Beforelife

I know exactly what you mean. All my dreams and hallucinations are just twisted creatures looking at me. They move in unnatural ways, and they almost never touch me, except for the little imp fuckers. They're presence is enough to incite the worst kind of fear I've ever had, and they're always convincing me that I'm going to be with them forever one day... I guess that's why I have an obsession with Hell. It's my only fear, and yet I just feel drawn to it, like I want to be with those things, but at the same time I don't. Also I appreciate the art and the conversation everyone.

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Yes. Protestant Christian family, well, my stepfather and mother were. I still am to an extent, I also had an abusive stepfather that I can't help but think made things worse. I'm neurotic and emotionally fragile because of him, and I have a lot of built up anger from it, too. So that anger bleeds into the other areas of my life. I focus more on the pain and the angry parts of religion, the suffering, the punishments and what's going to happen to me when I die.

Have you ever awoken to being raped by a face-shaping succubus demon? That's my worst night terror. It shaped first as my best friend who was humping me, naked, when he was in his underwear with demons wearing the skin and faces of my friends chanting my name.

I fall asleep. It then awoke me with the face of my stepmother (whom I hate), trying to shape into the face of my friend and crush. I managed to expunge and delete it from my reality and sobbed my way to sleep.

Horrible thing, that.

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Did you ever have a really bad episode?

Have you heard about the concept of the Boltzmann Brain? Might be a good read for you rn.

>because of him

as long you think that you will stay retarded

also

/thread

read

Sorry, I that's it. Can't find the rest.

Probably has something to do with the way their brains are interpreting the static noise of the neurophysiology

I'm a schizo too OP

In my mind we are some sort of shamans or prophets or shit, like, we are the people you go to to ask about stuff like the afterlife and shit. Not that we have all the answers but we are naturally prone to know more about this stuff than your ordinary sane person, at least when we still have our marbles together to some degree.. or if nothing more we have the more interesting thoughts on these subjects:

So, whats your thought on the big picture? What are your theories on life and everything? What happens when we die?

Homeschooled, so alright I guess. I did well, I'm not stupid at least. I didn't get out much until I was like 17, so I've spent most of my life in a box with an abusive stepfather. When I was little I always kind of imagined the world I lived in, like not just as an escape, but something of the sort. So now that I'm in the real world, with actual stimulation that I had to manufacture as a kid, my mind rejects it, and I have trouble actually coming out of that fantasy world.

I'm not sure, to be honest.

Jesus that one gets me... Thank you.

It's in my head. I have bouts of paranoia, and think people think things about me, or that they talk about me when I'm not there (one of my most potent preoccupied obsessions) but the heavier stuff is in my head.

I do like Lovecraftian art/mythos, I'm drawn to eldritch themes, I love tentacles (not tentacle porn) and eyes. For instance, and I know this sounds lame, but I obsessed over Hermaeus Mora when I played Skyrim. Everything he represented, even his world was like it came out of my head, I felt really close to it and related to it in a way.

I've had weed, coke, heroin and Xanax. Weed makes me zone out and dip further into that fantasy world, Coke makes me violent, like I want to kill someone and chop them up, that kind of thing. Heroin makes me anxious, and it amplifies all of the hallucinations and the voices. It sort of sends me to Hell in a way, I can barely move, and the Demons get more aggressive.

> Saab

Neato

Something that bothers me equally. I can't help but to think about that shit, and on rare occasions I get episodes where I feel it, and remember what it was like before I was born, and it freaks me the fuck out. It's hard to explain, it's like it's a void, but yet also chaotic everything. It's everything and nothing at the same time.

Just an user looking to talk about the afterlife here. Hello to all you schizos. Hope you're having a good week.

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Shut up you cockgargling lunatic, your opinions are just as garbage as everyone elses

No, actually. But I have an obsession with Succubi. I have very deep-seated sexual desires that are all fucked up and dark, and that's one of them. I find Demonic women in art and video games to be the most attractive. The thought of a Succubus torturing me and fucking me at the same time is something I can't get away from.

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Have you ever done pyschedelic drugs? If so, story?

The rape guy isn't me.

Yeah, I've had a couple. One time me and my ex were out late one night hanging out, we were going to fuck at some point, that kind of thing. We were out in the park at like two AM, and I started to see shit in the woods all around us coming after me. I basically had a mini seizure and she had to calm me down, but instead I just started to lose control, and the "other guy" started talking out of my mouth at her. It wasn't that I couldn't stop him, it was that I could have and didn't. It wasn't okay, and I didn't like what was happening, but for some reason I was just mentally subdued, like I was compliant for no reason. I tried to convince her to break up with me and that if she didn't stay away from me I was going to hurt her, but thankfully she didn't listen. Though it doesn't matter, we broke up anyway a couple of years later. Had most of my worst episodes as a child, though.

how fat is your gf?

No, I don't think I have. I'll check it out.

I don't blame him, I just think he made it worse by being so violent to me at a critical stage of my development. If you think I'm retarded just leave, there's no reason for you to be here if you're not going to try and actually have a conversation.

I remember that page. I've read that book so many times.

I'm a schizo too and I don't do that shit, OP.

At what age were you diagnosed with schizophrenia?

I recomend reading walter moers. It's not that dark but nicely bizarre.

That's not a bad point, to be honest...

Not a bad theory, either. I kind of feel that way sometimes, like I have a stronger connection with that shit than most others do. I believe in God, I just believe He's not who we think He is. That this is all something else, some kind of experiment we don't understand. I feel like in a sense by our standards the real God would be considered insane, but in a way I sort of understand what I believe Him to feel. I'm not entirely sure what happens when we die, but I almost know for a fact there exists a Hell, I'm just not too sure about the whole Heaven thing, or how one gets to one over the other. I believe that we were created and left to our own devices to form our own identity, and the profile we chose was that of suffering. I believe God sent down Jesus not because He planned to, but because he observed us and saw what we decided our existence was about, so He made Himself mortal to participate and grow closer in understanding with us, that He did that to suffer with us.

Just be quiet kid.

Nope, always wanted to try acid or shrooms, havent been able to get a hold of them yet.

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Wasn't officially diagnosed. Like I said before, I talked to my mom about it when I was like 15, and at that point I was sure. I read about it and I figured it out. I'm not one to self-diagnose, but I figured all of the shit my mother told me, along with stories of when I was little, it's a safe bet.

Will do, thank you.

Tha little shadow people are real.Im not schizoprenic but All of us up on our mountain road in Oregon have seen them.They are kinda mischivous but generally harmless.They indeed are 3 feet or so ,sometimes shorter like 2 ft.They are interdimensional creatures who find that they can see certain people some how breaking thru into their dimension..So they tend to follow them around and try to get their attention ,poke at them shout whisper.. Where they live You are the paranormal event and they are investigating.They dont seem to be smarter than us ,with little grasp of higher technology.No ,they just have that ability to see certain humans and they are annoyingly intrigued by us.
Start over and try to establish a healthy relationship with those little fuckers.One based on mutual respect.BTW,figured out yet why most heavy tribal shamans are clinically schizophrenic?Because for some quirky little neurological reason ,you people can actually see them sometimes. Without the shrooms or Peyote or whatever it takes for most of us to see them.

jizzman

Highly recommend the book by Yuri Mamleev "The Sublimes". Very dark and very weird.

Hm... That's weird... They're annoying and overwhelming sometimes, but yeah they're generally curious, and angry that I can see them. The other things I see and have don't like them much, my "other process" is very territorial. He doesn't like me having close relationships with others and even other Demons make him angry. I have seen a lot of paranormal shit, and shit in the other world seems drawn to me, like they're always trying to get my attention. I have an obsession with them, I want to talk to them, but I can never do it on purpose.

Thank you, I'll check it out.

what happened as a child

How bad is Schitzophrenia really? From what I heard, seeing things that aren't there (q3.14s, etc. etc.) interact with you sounds like a dream.

Well when I was like 7, I was over at my biological father's house visiting, and he never made me go to bed at a given time, so I did mostly whatever I wanted every other weekend. One day I was like 7 and it was like 2 AM and I was like fuck it I'm gonna go play outside. So I went into the backyard into the woods and started to play, when I felt a chilling sense of overwhelming fear wash over me. I look up and there are four brownish black figures, all at least 6' tall, walking out of the woods at me, moving in weird contorting ways. I ran back inside and never played in those woods at night again. Funny that you bring that up, because some crazy shit happened to me not that long ago. Anyone care for a greentext of it?

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It would be a dream, if I was seeing q3.14s. Instead I see lanky gray twisted creatures and have a thought process in my head convincing me to kill stray animals I find, and trying to get me to hurt people, too. It's tolerable I guess but it can be overwhelming at times. I wouldn't exactly call myself a functioning member of society, and yet I'm not completely off the rails.

That one gets me. It's always the font, the method in which the letters are always everywhere, that's the visual representation of how it sounds in my head. Seeing that shit gets me, but in a way it helps.

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I do

This one was almost too spooky for me.

Damn, you should work in mastering what you see. I see potential. a product you could sell to the anons on here.

Schizophreniac. What the fuck is a schizophreniac? That's how I know you're full of shit, op. You don't even know the proper pronunciation of the medical condition you claim to hAve been diagnosed with. Listen, faggot. Self diagnosis is not real diagnosis. So gtfo.

At least the shit that OP sees is way more fuckable than you'll ever be.

Alright, here it goes. I'm not very good at it, but here.

>be me
>about two months ago
>sitting at my laptop at like 4 AM
>listening to music, doing normal boring shit
>feel strange and absent all of the sudden, almost catatonic
>just get up, shut my laptop and walk out the door
>my face is numb and relaxed, my mouth is just kind of in a frown
>start walking from my sister's house toward my father's house (where I saw the figures in the woods)
>not that I can't not go, but I don't fight the weird urge that kind of took over, I want to see what's going on
>make it to my house, feels really tense and evil there
>my pop sold the house, Mexicans working on it, so no one is there at that hour.
>just stand in the living room, in the dark, completely still and zone out for like five minutes
>see something in the kitchen, lanky figure looks like it was made of ink, which is actually something my friend and I both saw in the woods one time when we were camping
>walk right past it, out of the back door, I can feel it turn its head as I walk past
>stand in the back yard, in the woods, dim moonlight but almost pitch black
>all of the sudden, look up into the woods
>I shit you not the 4 brownish black figures are there, just standing there, watching me
>I frown some more, and start crying, but in a weird comatose kind of way
>turn around and wait for like two minutes, I can feel them getting closer behind me
>just start walking, all the way back to my sister's
>the moment I step into the doorway, I snap out of it, and get freaked the fuck out

Ever since that happened I've been having my old little little kid nightmares, like my first ones, all over again. Keep remembering shit that happened to me when I was little, generally feel followed and pretty much cursed. I stayed over at a friends house and couldnt sleep, there was a pale skinned Demon on his balcony (emphasis, balcony, no access except from the inside) tapping on the glass. Cont

I'm not going to argue. You either believe me or you don't, and I have no reason to lie. If I'm faking, then it's a waste of time and you should just leave. I know what I have, and I'm trying to make sense of it with these anons.

Top kek

>ideot

So the Demon was tapping on the glass THE ENTIRE NIGHT and wouldn't let me sleep. I leave and come back a few days later, my friend is exhausted, says there's shit tapping on the glass when he's trying to sleep, and that shit keeps moving around in his house. Shit is following me, and it's fucking with my friends, too. They won't leave me alone and they're getting more and more aggressive.

Yeah it's a little cringey but it has its merits.

I think this is more of a picture of your typical Feminist rather than of a schizophrenic. No offense.

Damn. And your friend isn't schizophrenic? Spooky story either way man good stuff

>test

Very true lol. I just see shit in things that people most of the time don't even put in. I have no doubt this was created by some edgy emo on the internet, but regardless I see some things in it that are familiar.

Also no, he isn't anywhere close to being schizophrenic.

OP here, gonna pop out for a smoke real quick. Will answer to your replies in a few minutes.

i dont want to read anymore. i'm scared

I have never been familiar with schizophrenia OP. Are there any fables or mythos you feel were written for your disease? For example I'm pretty sure the story of Icarus was written for the bipolar reader.

This is no country for faggy men.

I feel you on bro. Abusive upbringing, mentally ill AF, what is this "real" world we're supposed to inhabit?

I've always wanted to experience something like that. I think I would be liberating to literally face your fear and see how it reacts to you standing in front of it, daring it to do something

>4 brownish black figures.
Probably just a couple of dindus.

Did she give you an erection?

I know what you mean. I relate a lot to the Furies, how they would follow you for eternity, through your afterlife, torturing you and shouting things into your ear that drive you mad. I always loved that story and felt a connection to it.

OP you are an annoying nigger and a boring liar. No one cares about how you jerk it in your backyard or how you frown at ghosts. Gayest story ever and get this shit off Cred Forums. You just want attention with your special snowflake self diagnosed bullshit.

Fucking exactly. You nailed it man. It's like what the fuck, you kept me in a box of a house and fed me lies, and when I emerge into the real world, I'm not prepared for any of it, like why is this and that not how I was told it was going to be kind of thing. All in all my mind has rejected reality in favor of its own, and that's what is driving me more insane every day.

No actually, she was actually very unattractive to me. Like it wasn't a boner kill, it was a moment of in-explainable hate for her, and I just wanted to kill her.

Oi vey.

>or how you frown at ghosts

Lmao lost my shit. 10/10 would read again

Also another one that always interested me, was the Mad Hatter. But not in the way that emo girls like him lol. I mean in the books not the movies, he's schizophrenic. So that always stuck with me. I didn't really give a shit when Johnny Depp played him, I mean he was good but I just dont subscribe to the whole emo thing.

Kek I will admit that line was funny.

where is this from?

huh

No one wants to be your friend dumb nigger. Go beg for attention somewhere else

Oh do pleesh kuntinoo sire

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10/10 would zoom again

>hurdur I'm so edgy guise I like Johnny Depp and da mad hatterr cuz he es liek me omg

You're so fucking gay. It's pretty much confirmed you're some fat euphoric neckbeard

lost it

big words for a virgin

>this

I can't stand these self diagnosed crybaby threads. So annoying.

>resorts to calling names

You should learn to read. I literally said I didn't really like him, he did okay but I like the books, not the movies. Please continue making an ass of yourself.

>started this by calling me names
>complains about name calling
>logic.exe not found

Shut the fuck up faggot. Kill yourself already you whiny emo bitch. The mad hatter is fucking stupid.

Yeah. Uh-Huh. Sure.

To be fair though he did link a reason to his opinion. The second comment was more of an unfounded assumption. Not that I'm taking sides just saying.

Yeah, that's true. I'm just saying, but yeah.

Two seconds in google.
It's the episode "Untitled" from a tv show called "LOUIE".

>OP

>rekt

Lmaoo

Fatass O

Samefag

Hey its me. They observe you, they made a chip in your eye so they can see everything what you see. Get it out. Fast.

Nice how you worked for him

Whatever dude, I ain't an emo. I don't understand how you could come to that conclusion of all things.

Not the guy that posted the pic im but I just thought it was funny

It's because they cant see what we see. The cia is controlling you with delta Wave weapons. They have it in the UPS Truck. Destroy it

I'm really goddamned high right now and I need to sleep. Goodnight guys, thanks for the conversation and the interesting pictures. Take care.

OP you have to decide. Red or blue pill?

This whole thread is you seeking attention for a self diagnosis that you can't wait to talk about. No one gives a fuck about you faggot. Just accept that and move on.