What's the most offensive joke you know?

How many potatos does it take to kill an irishman?

None.

Womens right.

I told this one to my girlfriend's really religious dad when I first met him.

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

The picture only takes one nail to hang up.

Haahahahahahahahaahahahahaahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahaha good one hahahahahahaahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahagahahahahahahahahahaha

How do you know when your dog's on her period? When your sister's dick tastes like blood!!

Every. Fucking. Time. Someone says they are concentrating I reply: "Did you go to camp for that?"

I'm such a asshole :-(

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing you already told her twice.

how many niggers does t take to screw in a lightbulb?

why do crows steal..... cause theyre black

How do you call all the squirrels in the world?

Woah! You are so cool!!!11!eleven!!2

Seriously though this is a joke thread not an edgy underage fag thread

damn niggercrows

how do you tell the difference between a japanese girl and a chinese girl?

using a geiger counter

My favorite is whenever a celebrity dies you go like this:

What's the difference between Jose Fernandez and Jose Fernandez jokes?

....Jose Fernandez jokes will eventually get old!

What do you get when you stick a knife in a baby?

>An erection.

If only Africa had mosquito nets, we could save millions.....of mosquitoes from drying of HIV.

How do you pick up hot chicks at Auschwitz? With a dust pan.

What do you call a 3rd grader with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.

Wat does a nigger do after sex? .... 5 to 10

How long does it take a baby to explode in the microwave?

I don't know, I always close my eyes when I cum.

youtu.be/QX1SojKfgNI

Why do black people smell like shit?

So the blind can hate them too.

At least he has a joke, you're obiously used to people laughing when you potato along. Mongoloid

How do you get a faggot to fuck a cunt? TAKE A SHIT IN IT! - Gilbert Godfried

How do you stop 5 niggers from raping a white chick?

Throw them a basketball.

What do Dick Cheney and Jim Kelly have in common?

Just bought a new lawn sprinkler from the KKK store.

It goes spic-spic-spic-chink---nigga-nigga-nigga-nigga

Two niggers walk into a white bar. They get hanged.

Ha

what do you call a lonely 2nd grader
a Sandy Hook survivor

A guy is riding his snowmobile when all of a sudden it quits. Try as he might it won't start. Figuring he might be awhile before help arrives, he sits down to eat his lunch. After a bit, another snowmobiler comes along who happen to be a mechanic. He offers to check the disabled snowmobile and after inspection turns to the snowmobiler and says"I think you blew a seal" . The snowmobiler looks at him, wipes his mouth and says "no, that just mayonnaise"

spell iCup nigga

black people are equal to whites

thats very cruel sarcasm

Wew

If only there were more mosquito nets in Africa, we could save millions, millions of mosquitoes from dying of aids.

(jimmy carr)

A chink walks into a hamburger joint. And asks for rice.

Ha

I don't get it.

What's the hardest part about fucking twenty six year olds.

There's twenty of them.

Bam dum tisk.

How do you make an 8 yr old cry twice?

Rub your bloody dick off with her teddy bear

lurk more.

Bar like a drinking bar.
White people hang them, because they're niggers.

If you're not american then I can understand your ignorance.

How many black people does it take to start a riot?
-1

A child molester & a little boy are walking through the woods one night.

Little boy looks up and says "mister, I'm scared, it's dark out here."

Child molester looks down and says "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back out of here alone."

Honestly

A car full of niggers is travelling down the highway when they pass a sign that says "Maxium 55," so they had to stop and let 20 out.

A Jew with a Boner runs into a Wall.

He breaks his Nose.

great, can't wait for this one to slip out at rosh hashanah dinner this weekend with my jewish girlfriends ultra conservative parents

Fuck I thought 'bar' meant something relating to solicitors.

What the fuck is a tip? A curry-muncher picking up a tip.

underrated post

Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of nigger babies?

You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

Heh.

What gets louder as it gets smaller?

A bunch of babies in a trash compactor

blake used to tell me that one all the time, i still have his copy of unreal tournament.

That's cause your a potatoe

Hey, did you hear the one about the potatoe?

They both make bad hunters

What's the difference between a dead baby and a mustang?

I didn't lose my virginity in the back of a mustang

The Aristocrats!

How do you get Niggers from hanging out in your front yard.
Hang them in the back.

>>your sisters dick

I've been on here since 2009... might be why I think like this now lol

Did you hear about the black teen who got an abortion ?
CrimeStoppers sent her a check for $500

What is the hardest part about drinking a blended abortion? My dick.

Why did the sperm cross the road?

Because I put on the wrong sock

What's the difference between niggers and Christmas decorations? I stop hanging Christmas decorations in my yard after Christmas is over.

Never heard that before. Actually not bad.

Guys Im Mixed on abortion k. See I Like that children die but I cant get over the women getting choices thing. Im makes me extremely conflicted.

Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday!

What are the three hardest years in a black kids life?
Second grade

What's better than winning the special Olympics?

Having two legs that work.

Good to know I'm not the only one who does this.

Just straight gay shit sex here

What's the difference between jam and jelly.
>
>
>
>
I can't jelly my cock into your ass.

I think it may be from Freakanomics but that is a very popular theory on why crime dropped in the 90s. Legal abortion in the 70s

Why didn't people invite Hitler to BBQ's??

Because he always burnt the Franks

What do you call a swimming pool full of quadriplegics?

Vegetable soup.

Why can't stevie wonder read? Because he's black.

What the fuck are you smoking?

What do you call 3 grains of rice in a sink??

An Ethiopian throwing up all night

...

Why do you put your dick in a blender?

> What do you call Freddie Mercury on a skateboard?
Rolaids.
>What do you call a surfing Jew?
Smoke on the water.
>What's the worst insult in India?
"I hope I'm reincarnated as your virginity, so we only know each other for 3 years."

What is black and has white and purple polka dots all over?

My nigger slave, I'll paint him whatever color I want, by god.

Five fags are sitting in a hot tub when a huge bunch of cum floats to the surface of the water.

The one fag asks the others, "OK, who farted?"

...

I don't get it

So your sock is on the Wong side of the woad? Why da phuck you sock on Wong side of woad?

I was eating out this lady when suddenly I tasted donkey semen. I had to take a step back out of sheer surprise. What the fuck, grandma? So that's how you died?

>women deserve equal rights
>there are more than 2 genders
>triggers

How do you start a jewish marathon. Roll a penny down a hill.

hahahahaha good one man.

>t. retard

youtube.com/watch?v=BTCVr5YxJQQ

omg ur so funy xDD

4 faggots walk into a bar but there is only 1 stool left, What do they do?

Turn it upside down.

I think he's saying he gets an erection from drinking blended abortuses.

You're fucking stupid. The Irish died from the potato famine. You wouldn't know this, since you are a potato.

How do pick up a Jewish girl?

With a dust pan.

..I still don't get it

Butthurt Irish detected

Not being retarded.

[Laughs in Fürher]

bump

Is this same poster?

>>he knows what donkey cum tastes like

Keck

Your father's dick tastes like blood

>butthurt ginger detected
How's reclaiming Belfast working for you

That's the joke.

Same fag detected

nice one haahah

I told a really cringe-worthy, off-color joke once during a job interview...

>be me
>interviewing for residential counselor at mental health clinic
>fuckin 3 people interviewing me
>small room
>really awkward and uncomfortable
>they give me the following hypothetical question:
>"You've got a patient who needs to take his medicine, a person on the phone threatening to commit suicide, and you've got something cooking on the stove... what do you do, and in what order do you do it in?"
>I think I'm gonna break the ice...
>"well I'm Italian, so the cooking comes first!"
>...
>ba-dm-tsh!

I didn't get a call back.

What's with these all these dot knots eating curry?

~seinfeld

Trump tells that joke, y'all get your wall.

A little nigger boy arrives home from school and finds his dad is home from work early.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a bunch of dead spics?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

How do you tell the dofference between a traditional muslim wedding and an isis trainng camp? I don't know, I just fly the drone.

I don't understand. Someone explain to me why a nigger is home with his son?

fuck off mason

Ahmen. If they weren't up to no good, they wouldn't be muslim.

maybe it's that his dad is on welfare so he doesn't work? I don't know

Settle down Hannibal

Fuck you cis white male. It's a Feminine Penis.

lost

Okay, so the other day, my friend caught me sniffing his sister's panties. It didn't help that she was still wearing them, or that their entire family was watching. It really made the rest of her funeral quite awkward.

...

Where do you put tzee black juice?

In tza back of zee oven

...

What is black juice and why is it in an oven?

The fagotry of these posts know no limits

Feminism

Alright that's pretty good.

How do you know when your periods on your sister? Your dog tastes like blood.

I agree feminism is offensive, but why is it funny?

>nigger
>school
>work
I'm a fucking russian and I got that you retard

"wanna hear a joke?"
"womans rights"

In Russia, we find this funny

These gets goin unchecked

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out his window.

What? Nigger school work? You are russian

Fucking trips like a boss

The US government

I dont understand this, whats going on?

And it still pales in comparison to your sense of humour.

Say it in a German accent user

THATS NOT FUCKING AMERICA WHY THE FUCK WHOULD I CARE

Jooish guy with a boner walks into a wall, what happens?

He breaks his nose.

i don't know, you can't count them in the dark.

ain't no niggers in school
ain't no nigger fathers with a job
ain't no niggers with a father

>>this guy gets it

>the potato famine

Which one?

lel

>irishfag here, get a sense of humor faggot

Niggerboy in school
Niggerdad home
Nigger working

Fuuuuuuuuuck

What do you call 5 black guys having an orgy?

A threesome

Was wondering, good one

Umm, am slow. Cuz they no good with numbers?

how much matter would a black life matter if a black life actually even mattered?

3/5ths compromise.

.6x5=3

Pick one you faggotron!

How many Jews can you fit in a two door BMW?

121. They're all in the ashtray.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three-Fifths_Compromise

If a black life mattered, cops would care?
Since they don't , let's pickle a pepper, peter (he's white).

Why is there so little Native American literature? Because spray paint wasn’t invented until 1949.

How does Phil Collins kill someone?

He puts them in a song and then gives them tickets to a show.

Needs work.

>Mongoloid
legit kek'd

How do Ethiopians celebrate their kids first birthday? By putting flowers on their grave.

How do you get 100 babies into a trash can?

A blender.

How do you get 100 babies out of a trash can?

Tortilla chips.

I need me a autistic girl so I don't have to make her feel anymore special

How's pub crawl?

How does Hellen Keller drive?
One hand on the road and one hand on the steering wheel

How does Hellen Keller masturbate?
One hand on her pussy and one to moan

How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her?
They left the plunger in the toilet

Why can't Heller Keller drive?
Because she's blind
No, seriously, why can't she drive?
Because she's a woman

Gimme a sec and I'll tell the story of little timmy

What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese.

youtube.com/watch?v=aGA0dIz9-Wk

If you haven't seen the movie "The Aristocrats."

haha I'll remember that one

oh god....

Little timmy goes to his mom and says "I'm tired of riding the short bus, I wanna ride the big boy bus". So, his mom sets up something with school allowing him to do this. School day comes and Timmy's tard ass is happy as shit to ride the big boy bus. He sees the bus coming over the horizon and gets excited shouting "COOL BUS!!!" The bus blows right past him and his retard self goes crying. His mom explains that maybe the bus driver didn't see him and that he should step closer to the road. The next day comes and he sees the bus. Remembering what his mom said, he steps closer to the road shouting "COOL BUS!!!". The bus goes right past him. This goes on for a couple of days until his mom tells him to step ONTO the road, standing in the middle, he'll have to stop. So, the day comes, the day that little timmy will ride thw big boy bus. He sees the bus and steps onto the road shouting his tard chants. The bus runs him over and little susy in the back jumps up and yells out "BUS DRIVER, BUS DRIVER!!! YOU RAN OVER LITTLE TIMMY!!!" The driver looks back at her and says "THE BASTARD WAS MAKING FUN OF ME!!!"

So this Ethiopian guy throws up three grains of rice in his sink; what do his friends call him?

A showoff

How do you start a rave in Ethiopia?
Nail bread to the ceiling

Thanks

Rave? Do u mean riot autits?

Takes a crane to get it out

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?
A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven!
What's the difference between a nigger and a pizza?
A pizza can feed a family of 4!

What's the hardest part about eating bald pussy?

Putting the diaper back on.

kekd hard

Most offensive joke:

Donald Trump

What's black and blue and doesn't like sex?

The little boy in the trunk of my car.

How do you cancel an appointment at a sperm bank
Tell them you can't come

How's the faggot haircuts and manchild beards you fucking retards?

>I browse Cred Forums because nobody I know understands it but me.

Get the fuck out of here you hipster fucks.

Hillary Clintons campaign

Or, since they're hot, oven mitts...

turkey

why aren't aspirins black?

you want them to work don't you

What's the difference between a cow and 9/11?

You can't milk a cow for 15 years.

Not really relevant any more but still one of my favorites:

>what's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her vagina?
Only half the things that come out of her vagina are retarded.

Little Johnny comes home from school one day, and really has to pee. He goes up to the bathroom, and runs in to pee, but walks in on Grandma stepping out of the bath tub. He looks at her crotch and says, 'eww grandma, what is that?' She is very embarrassed and says 'well, johnny it's a uhh...a beaver!' Johnny says ok, and leaves unaffected. He comes home the next day, and has to pee again, so he does the same thing, but walks in on his mother coming out of the shower. In the embarrassment, she covers herself and yells 'Johnny don't look. I'm naked!' Johnny then assured his mother by saying ' don't worry mom...I know what a beaver it. Yesterday, I saw grandma's, but I think it might be dead...it's tongue is sticking out'

> NYC mayor says too many pigeons
> be some dude in NYC
> lots of pigeons, too many
> go to mayor
> "i can get rid of pigeons"
> "meet me on top of empire state building"
> meet mayor on building
> mayor say "ok how to get rid of pigeons?"
> reach in pocket, take out pink pigeon
> "watch this"
> throw pigeon off building
> pigeon starts to fly away
> flying out of NYC
> all of a sudden, every pigeon in NYC follows pink pigeon out of the city
> mayorjawdropped.jpg
> mayor says "THAT'S FUCKING AMAZING! DO YOU HAVE ANY PINK NIGGERS!?"

How many Jews can you fit in a car?

2 in the front, 3 in the back, and 6 million in the ash tray

...

Debunked. The freakenomics guys had to retract that after discovering they entered an entire data set incorrectly.

whats the dif between dead baby and a rock cant fuck a rock

severly underated

What do you do when you see your microwave floating away in the middle of the night?
>yell "drop nigger!"

What do you do when you see your refrigerator floating away in the middle of the night?
>grab a shotgun that's a big nigger

What do you do when you see a nigger with half a face walking around?
>stop laughing and reload

Why are blacks afraid of lawnmowers?
>because they go runniggerniggerrun

How do you drown a nigger?
>pop his bottom lip

You hear about the nigger that stuck his head at the car window and died?
>his lips beat him to death

What's the difference between a nigger and a bucket of shit?
>the bucket

What did god say when he created the first nigger?
>oops, burnt one

What's faster than a nigger running away with your TV?
>his brother with your xbox

I would have hired you.

Ha.

A father walks by his 12 year old daughters door and sees her masturbating with a cucumber.

He says "Aww come on, I was going to eat that later but now it's just going to taste like salad."

What the fuck kind of stupid question was that?