Alright faggots

Do u enjoy the smell of shit?

How many times can I shit down shower drain before it gets fucked

Ok, chances are it's an old waste, such as galvanised iron, you may need to use "Moflo" or some acidic equivalent for whatever country you're from.

Wear gloves, glasses, respirator. Shit is nasty. Do not let it touch anything outside the drain grate.

If you use black iron for water lines, would it kill you? Also another plumber advised me to never use gate valves; good advice?

I don't suck dicks, I leave that to the carpenters.

No.

Ever stuck that drain whacker thing up your ass?

Thank you!

How do i keep my threaded pipe joints from FUCKING LEAKING? Every single threaded fitting i touch leaks, regardless of what tape, cement, whatever i do. Leaks. Leaks all the time.

Once.

Black iron is generally used for industrial shit where it's non drinkable. Things like radiators and steam pipe. Shit rusts up on the inside pretty consistently without actually rusting through. I'd avoid it.

As for gate valves, there's really nothing wrong with them other than the fact they don't have any backflow protection.

Quarter turn ball valves are the new equivalent, they shut off quickly, they don't take multiple twists to turn on or off, and they are about the same price, so the gate valves are a bit outdated, but still fine to use.

I just moved into a 100-year-old rental. I sometimes smell sewage from the drains, mostly the bathroom, sometimes the kitchen. Mostly when I first run the water in the morning, but sometimes it just smells.

Also, all repairs around here are done by the owner's "Uncle Fernando", who is not actually related to the landlord, and is not actually useful for anything. Last time I called him, he left a used stove in my back yard.

Nastiest shit you've ever seen?

You're welcome.

Also make sure drain is "dry" before pouring that stuff down. It reacts with water, so make sure the drain is empty as possible before dropping it down. Don't top it up with water for an hour or it can surge back up the plughole.

Fantastic tits btw, thanks. :D

A plumber once told me to avoid putting anything down the garbage disposal. Do you put food down yours?

Ever fucked a customer?

>made up story incoming

No, dumbarse.

It's the amount of teflon you use. I generally go with 14 wraps.

Or you can use "Loctite 55" which I find tends to work on everything except hot water units.

Got a two questions for you.

Do the drains gurgle after you use them. Like a sucking bubbling sound?

Do you have a drain in the floor of the bathroom?

Greentext engaged.

>Working for small business.
>Boss phones up one day "Got a job for you user"
>"No worries, what's the address?"
>Boss gives address
>Now just letting you know user, this guy may be a little... strange..
>"....ok"
>Rock up to house.
>Walking up driveway.
>Little pieces of paper all up driveway.
>Huh.... they look like toilet paper.
>Keep walking.
>Further up driveway. More pieces of paper.
>Brown stains.
>That *IS* toilet paper.
>MFW it's not wet, and it's not from a sewer overflow.
>Wtf.hat?
>Alright, let's see what i'm up against.
>Alpha chin on.
>Walk up to door, knock.
>Door opens, man is standing behind wire door.
>6'2 hulking fat hairy greek man.
>Completely butt fucking naked.
>Gigantic flaccid cock in full view.
>What the flying fuck.
>"WHAD YU WAN?"
>Uh... I'm the fuckin' plumber.
>Giant naked hairy greek bastard grunts.
>Hang on a sec.
>Walks into next room.
>No worries, must be going to chuck some clothes on.
>Walks back out, opens door again.
>Still butt fucking naked.
>"Alright come in..."
>Herewefuckinggo.avi

Cont.

No and no.

I don't have one. I've installed all of two of those things in my life and removed about 50.

They are ridiculous, pointless expensive pieces of shit.

Throw your waste in the bin.

>Fat greek bastard starts walking inside house.
>You know what, I'm behind him, he can't fucking trap me here.
>I'm gonna go have a fucking look.
>Step inside house.
>Place is a fucking pigsty.
>Newspapers stacked almost as high as my head.
>Canned food stacked up everywhere.
>Weirdest part of all.
>100's of tubs of vaseline.
>Like fucking HUNDREDS.
>All stacked up next to the newspapers and canned foods.
>Half of them have the lids off and are fucking empty.
>What the flying fuck???
>Wade past all this rubbish to his bathroom. He walks inside it.
>Bathroom is small bathroom.
>One bath.
>One sink.
>All of it, ENTIRELY
>let me be clear about this anons
>ENTIRELY SPLATTERED....
>WITH SHIT COVERED TOILET PAPER.
>It's like nothing I've ever seen.
>We're not talking like a few dalmation spots here and there.
>We're talking like massive lumps and chunks and everything.
>EVERY FUCKING WHERE.

Cont.

>So fat greek bastard waddles into his shitty toilet paper covered bathroom.
>Ohgodthesmell.choke
>He walks up to the cupboard.
>Opens the cupboard door
>Turns on the tap.
>And points at the cupboard.
>"See?"
>....no....
>"See?? See?"
>No mate I don't see, what's the fucking problem?
>"Is leaking! See?"
>Mate, you're going to have to get out of the fucking way.
>He walks out, and into the kitchen.
>Stupidly I walk into that festering bathroom.
>Sure enough water is pissing out into the basin cupboard while the tap is running.
>"See? See?" He asks?
>Right now, I realise, he's right behind me.
>I'm trapped in a shitstained bathroom, with a naked fat greek man and several half used tubs of vaseline.
>"That's it I'm getting the fuck out of here".
>"But you not fix problem"
>He's not moving.

cont

>Fat naked greek man still not moving.
>Aussie masterrace, mind like a steel trap.
>"Of course I haven't fixed the fucking problem, I've gotta go get my fucking tools out of the car mate."
>Stares at me angrily.
>Shit's about to get real.
>"Mate, I need you to get out of my way, so I can get my tools, and get it fixed."
>Fat naked greek continues to stare.
>Prepare to punch his stupid hairy fucking face in and be wrestled to the shit covered ground.
>Hairy behemoth Grunts.
>Gets out of way.
>I start walking out of the house.
>He follows.
>I walk to my car.
>He follows.
>I get in my car and lock the fucking doors.
>He is standing at the window just staring at me.
>In middle of street.
>Still butt fucking naked.
>"Where you going? You fix! You fix!"
>"Hang on mate"
>"No! You fix, you fix!"
>"HANG ON MATE".
>Phone boss
>"Who the fuck sent this job, is this a fucking joke?"
>"What do you mean?"
>"Dude, this guy is fucked UP, who phoned this IN???"
>"Hang on, I'll give you the number of the guy's social worker.
>......
>Fucking SOCIAL WORKER?????
>Tell boss "I'll call you back...." through gritted teeth.

Cont

>Phone social worker.
>"Dude, I can't fix this fucking job! What the fuck is with this guy?"
>"Yes sorry user, unfortunately there's not enough mental health facilities available, so they have to put this guy in a commission house for now"
>"Mate! He's more fucking worried about a water leak under a fucking sink, than the BIG STEAMING PILES OF SHITTY WALLPAPER ALL OVER HIS WALLS!!!"
>Yeah, I know, the place is disgusting, I'm sorry about that...
>..... Mindsnap
>"YOU FUCKING ***KNEW*** THE HOUSE WAS LIKE THIS BEFORE YOU FUCKING ***SENT*** ME THERE???
>"Yeah... look... sorry... seemed like an emergency... thought we might have to get it fixed..."
>...double mind snap..
>"SO EVEN FUCKING YOU!!! WHO I ASSUME IS ***NOT*** A GIGANTIC CRAZED FREAK, SEEMS TO THINK A FUCKING LEAK.... IN A FUCKING CUPBOARD... IS MORE FUCKING IMPORTANT.... THAN CLEANING SHIT OFF ***FUCKING...... WALLS***????????
>"........................uh.......yeah... look... again sorry for that.."
>breathed in as deep as I could
>yelled as loud as i could
>FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK YYYYYYYOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!
>Hung up.
>Fat naked greek guy taps on window again.
>"You fix?"
>FFFFFFUUUUUCCCCKKK OFFFFF!!!!!!
>Started engine.
>Hightailed it the fuck out of there leaving fat naked greek man standing fat and naked in middle of road.
>Drove to nearest KFC.
>Vomited my fucking guts up.
>Phoned boss, explained story.
>Boss laughed his guts up.
>Abused the cunt out of him.
>Took the rest of the day off and drank myself silly.

Didn't fucking rock up to work the next day either. The boss did not complain.

Naturally my return to work was met by a lot of cheesy bastard grins by all the boys, and the usual rounds of ribbings.

Bastards.

No, fucked a fellow worker once, but never a customer.

Did however come damn close one time.

Greentext engaged.

>Working for some mob with a gps tracker on the car. Last job of the day.
>Rock up at house, lonely looking milf.
>Body 8/10
>Face 4/10 but whaver, have not had sex in 2 weeks.
>Get to door.
>Hello miss, my name is user, you called a plumber?
>Yes user, please come in and look at my sink.
>Check sink, easy fix
>No worries love, this'll take 10 minutes.
>While fixing sink issue, lonely milf begins chatting.
>So what's your story user, where you from etc. Usual crap.
>Move forward a bit.
>Have you got a girlfriend user?
>Ohshiti'minforthewin.jpg
>Nah, haven't got a girlfriend at the moment
>Why not user? You're an ATTRACTIVE man, you're obviously very PROFESSIONAL and STRONG...
>"Well I was seeing a girl but she left me two weeks ago"
>Sympathy card is go. I actually left the girl, not the other way around. ;)
>Oh that's TERRIBLE user! Are you doing ok? Surely you've got other girls on the go!
>Nah, chicks my age are a little bit stuck up, they tend to not find me attractive.
>Grabs me by the arm, brings face really close to mine, wide eyed
>REALLY??? REALLY user! I FIND THAT *VERY* HARD TO BELIEVE.

Dick is now rock hard.

Cont.

Forgot the tits.

Oh thanks!

Look to be honest the only thing I've got left if those two things aren't working, is the drains must be so old and caked that they've just got a continuous hold of stagnant water in them. Try running some moflo acid down the drain, instructions in thread.

Otherwise, your pipes are siphoning out the "water seal" which is the water that always sits at the bottom of your sink waste (p trap). It's designed to block smells from coming from the drain through to your house.

>user, do you want to stay for dinner?
>Yep, I'm in for the win
>"Ah, look, I'd love to, but I've got a GPS tracker on the car, and if I stay here too long there's trouble"
>Ok user, how about this, you drive your car a couple of blocks up the road and park it somewhere, I'll follow you in my car and drive you back here.
>FUCKYESI'MGETTINGLAIDTONIGHT.webm
>Drop off car, drive back, chick flits around for a bit and microwaves about the shittiest leftovers I've ever tasted.
>Cannot give fuck. Rock hard dick, barrel down food.
>Milf pours herself a glass of wine, would you like a cigarette user?
>Giving flirty eyes.
>Phone rings.
>It's her on again off again boyfriend
>"No no, it's just the plumber, no I'm not seeing anybody"
>Jealous boyfriend? All I need is porn music and the scene is complete.
>Finishes phone call.
>Sorry user, that was my boyfriend, we have.... a lot of troubles over time.
>"Oh you have a boyfriend?"
>NONONONONO!!! *EX* boyfriend...
>sex is still on the cards.
>Pours herself another wine.
>So user... How about that cigarette?

Cont.

>Sounds good
>Step outside on the balcony.
>She hands me one of her cigarettes
>Standing side by side, her sexy little milf body brushing blatantly against mine.
>So user... I get very lonely...
>Stay quiet, have cigarette, alpha as fuck.
>I don't get many male visitors over here...
>Dick hardening, pants bursting.
>You're not saying much user.
>Wink at her. "Just enjoying the cigarette".
>Well user, you're sucking something of mine, maybe I should suck something of yours....
>FUCKYEAH.winrar
>"Sounds like a solid plan"
>Milf throws cigarette butt in backyard and walks inside.
>Do same, I follow.
>She pulls out chair and motions for me to sit.
>I sit down getting ready for blowjob. Hard as fuck.
>She sits down on table opposite me and pours another glass of wine.
>Uh... ok... whatever.
>Then proceeds to sit there.
>"....you alright love?"
>Milfanon sighs deeply.
>Listen user... I'm sorry if I lead you astray....
>WTF?
>"...what?"
>Well you see, when I told you I wanted some company....
>"...yes?"
>I actually wanted company....
>"...what????"
>......user....I'm an alcoholic...
>My dick drops to half mast.
>I look around for secret camera for joke tv.
>She then starts to regale me on her life story on how she became an alcoholic, and how she really needs company.
>I say that's fair, say I really need to get to back to my car as I have an early start.
>She says no worries user! Give me your phone number!
>Sure thing alcomilf! Gave fake number.
>Takes me to door
>Any chance you can give me a lift back to my car?
>Oh no I can't user, I've been drinking all day! Goodnight!
>Closes door.
>Wander 5 blocks back to car, with half a hardon.
>Beta as fuck.

Fucking hate gate valves.
I work maintenance in a ten year old apartment complex in downtown LA and the cheap fuckers uses gate valves for all of the shutoffs and it's they were obviously never exercised so when we need to do a repair we can't shut off the gate valve in the apt so we have to shut off the entire stack and god forbid if that's controlled by a fucking gate valve because now you might have to shut off the entire building just to replace a cartridge on a sink faucet with a gate valve that won't close

why did you choose such a shitty trade
should have been a pipefitter

Don't care if story is bullshit or not. Just want more.
Also, Australia, meaning you probably wouldn't know whether to use 3/4" or whatever...

You're probably threading them counter clockwise too haha

i think my water heater is leaking, what do? i have standing water in my basement intermitently and i hav e a dehu down therre

And the worst part is, when you shut off the stack and recommend changing over a few gate valves while the stack is shut off, the cheap cunts won't agree to it because it costs money.

Yep, I hear you fellow plumber.

Yeah right. Should have learned 1/30th of my trade rather than a whole trade.

Try harder faggot.

Story is 100% true.

Also, yeah, we do use 3/4, 1/2 etc. That's a blow over from the old days when everything was imperial. All the old timers still say it, I do too 'cause I was trained under an old timer.

Stupid part is it's only the water pipe we say that for. For the waste pipe it's all in millimetres. Go figure.

If it's leaking from the tank, it's fucked mate. No hope.

If it's leaking from a side valve, worry not, it's designed to. Expansion/overtemp valve. Will piss water now and then when it's heating.

Start saving for a new one just in case.

Also install some sort of sump pump for your basement to fix the standing water.

Heh, I only did that a few times before coming to the conclusion that clockwise was better, However I just can't avoid some of these leaks. The house is about 40 years old, and a lot of the pipes were made out of some kind of iron, which has since rusted nearly shut in some sections.

Op doesnt agree but fuck that garbage disposals are awesome I put all kinds of fruit, vegetable and other waste down there and havnt had one break in 14 years. Living in two different houses.

The company that owns the building considered it for a while, got a bid and it was well over $100,000 to replace every gate valve with ball valves, that's....well over 90 valves so they noped the Fuck out and said deal with it. I'm glad I'm leaving the company in two weeks and learning to become an electrician

Alright brave user's, I'm off to bed now.

Plum/b/user signing out.

The unit needs a certain amount of flow before it activates you fucking first year apprentice fraud.

Are you saying there wasn't instantaneous electric hot water in 1955? Further do you imbly there wasn't 3phase in 1955?

You haven't helped at all. Stick to doing the lunch run.

I'll tell you right now, faggot, there are a systematic run of things you could do RIGHT NOW to check what's causing this.

But you were stupid enough to abuse the one person who could help you, so now you can fucking PAY a plumber to fix it fag.

Suck shit dickhead. Next time think before abusing the person who is trying to help you.

You are fucking amazing user, Aussies fucking rule

Funny how I've never had my disposal jam or clog or anything but I go into the same unit over and over because they either emptied an entire casserole down it or emptied a bowl of rice down it and you tell them time after time and they don't get it...these people are fucking doctors and surgeons and lawyers and they can't learn something so simple it boggles the fucking mind

pipefitting usually encompasses at least a few trades worth of knowledge, including plumbing, you make better money and don't spend your life wallowing in other people's waste.
you fucked up mate.
to dumb it down to something a plumber can understand:
youtube.com/watch?v=5OwCSRuw1Lw

O dont see the prob with them.. use them once in a while spray some penetrative oil on them. And if they fail.. repack the string.. they work fine.

I dont put uncooked rice in but yeah ill put in a whole caserole rice you name it and it never breaks.. one day it might but itll be wirth it by then.. it already is.

Yeah, man. That's why I asked. I've used them for years with no problem. Recently did a kitchen remodel; when I showed the new disposal unit I wanted installed to the plumber and he proceeded to tell me to never put food down the sink, I was confused as fuck.

...

appreciate it user!!

...

Do you trust negro plumbers? Do they even exist?