You have 10 seconds to explain why you don't have a gf Cred Forums

off by 1

Fuckin a

because Im a low confidence beta faggot

It's all good bro, we all are.

I am unable to express intimacy so I never bothered. Also, I don't really give a damn.

I am trying. Just cant find one I like much yet...

...

My insanity is usually revealed within the first hour of conversation, hence most females do not talk to me afterward .

>Married and divorced twice
>not a masochist
Ho boi am I laffin

I have yet to find a lady that has all the qualities of the Queen and willing to stick their plastic cock in my ass.

because I fuck a different chick every week. Much easier than dealing with a nagging bitch with a mental illness.

Do you know how sad that sounds? Even niggers are proud of locking down a fine women.

53 years old, unemployed, fat, hate everything, prefer masturbating to furry porn

It's not sad, it's called experience. You'd know this if you ever had a gf, it's not worth it.

I'd kill myself if I were you. Not even joking.

B/c you stole my waifu

I'm posting on Cred Forums at 2am on Saturday.

Why the fuck do you think?

please tell me that's just a meme and not real?

The fact that you think you've won some kind of lottery by fucking around is what's sad. No one is going to want to fuck you when you age. Unless you are famous or rolling in dough, you will be alone in your latter years in life. Not only that but your ineptitude in forming a lasting relationship is what's sad. There are only two reasons a gf would be a nagging bitch: she's insane or you did something to fuck it up. Either way you fucked up. None of my past girlfriends have been a nagging bitches. One was a cheating cunt, but I wasted no time in dropping her.

Stop assuming you know anything about me. I have lasting friendships with girls, I don't have a problem with landing them and don't forsee a problem in the future. In fact most of the girls I'm with beg me to be in a relationship with them. I think you lack experience because most women are crazy especially the longer you are with them. I still think you have never had a gf, but nice try m8.

I dont want one, will be more financially stable without having to buy her things... its also nice to have no obligations.

The crazy isn't worth it. The last three were way too crazy.

I'd advise you to take your own advice, in regards to the assumptions. I don't know if you mean to but you contradict yourself. How can you have long lasting friendships with women if the longer you're with them the crazier they get? I'm assuming you aren't counting your nanny, mother or granny as your long lasting relationships. The fact that your local tuba blubbas want to fuck you, has no meaning in your ability to form relationships with women.

because i'm fat and lazy

But i have a waifu

I don't trust women

trust issues , had couple of gf's 60% of them were cheaters and the other 40 was far distace relationships

Tring to hold out to see how long I can maintain my virginty. Am 37 btw.

last time I tried dating, I got more or less catfished

Lol, story? I may have one of my own.

i have become emotionally dead

Then you're basically a nigger.

im gay

...

Every girl I ever liked is in a relationship.
Also I was/am breaking up the friendship, if it gets any further, because I was/am unsure if she'd want more, or if I'm just implying it.

I am really smelly, have isolated myself from every peer I know, and when I leave my home I sweat and look around too much to be able to attract any human being let alone an interested woman.

Same, except I shower daily so I'm not smelly. But I do sweat a lot.

Because I'm far too awesome and I haven't, so far, met a chick that could hold a candle to my badass self. That or the fact I'm a kissless virgin, literally no intimate contact ever.

pic related.

becuse i m not worth much, so im not even trying
Love is not for me i guess

ah man, it was the weirdest two weeks of my life and I'm never getting them back

anyway

>be me
>recently out of relationship
>kind of desperate
>get friend request from girl I don't really know
>more than 10 mutual friends, so fuck it I accept
>go through a few pics of her, pretty cute
>start conversation
>have more than a few things in common with her
>things are going pretty well
>always mentions meeting in person but nothing is set in stone
>start talking on the phone, we get closer
>4th of July in a few days, she invites me to a cookout
>"sounds like a plan"
>4th of July, spend a significant amount of time getting ready
>go to her house, tell her I'm here
>tall, ugly beast comes out, greets me
>I'm confused
>girl doesn't look the same as she does in her pictures
>angles can really do some magic, apparently
>not even 5 mins being in her house and I already want to leave

cont?

My wife died and I'm taking care of my kid.
Feelsbadman.jpg

Cont please

Just write it already.

Go fuck yourself you colossal fucking faggot.

How she died

because my wife and my boyfriend satisfy me enough

Because I'm slowly mentally detaching from everyone in my age group, so i'm looking for someone thats remotely on my level emotionally. My ideas on love and sex and relationships ingeneral is so diffrent and,dare I say, advanced compared to people my age. Please help me work though this.

>be in her living room with some of her family members and a few friends
>we're all awkwardly watching something on Netflix, can't remember what it was
>come up with a lie to leave early
>food is ready
>fuck it, staying for the food and then leaving
>she follows me everywhere I go
>often tries to grab my hand
>100percentuncomfortable.gif
>finally about to leave, even though it's still a bit early
>she tells me there'll be drinks later
>fuck it, staying for the drinks too even though I don't drink much
>few drinks later, I'm drunk
>she starts getting really touchy
>leaning on my shoulder, grabbing my hand, hugging me
>in my mind "please stop touching me"
>finally get the courage to leave, even though I'm drunk
>start saying goodbyes
>she slurs "I would kiss you but I'm very drunk"
>kind of know what I'm doing, kind of don't
>"fuck it," I say
>big fucking lips wrap themselves over mine
>almost threw up in her mouth
>go home, drunk as shit

cont...

my journey home is a greentext story of its own haha, want me to share?

b/c I'm too busy to have anything more than casual

Cont man

Why only ten seconds?

I've asked...

My waifu won't let me have one.

>finally come home
>knock out right away
>wake up at 6 am
>15 missed calls from her
>drunk texts included
>too nice to tell her I'm not interested
>I keep this thing going
>days later, going to small concert
>invite her, thinking she'll like it
>we arrive at the concert a bit early
>we wait outside the place
>whole time she has her arms around me
>tries kissing me
>at times I'd dodge her kisses and she'd kiss my cheek instead
>sometimes would just suck it up and let her do it
>horrible kisser, lips too fucking big, saliva all over my mouth
>just want day to be over, didn't wanna be at concert anymore
>occasionally would call me "daddy" and such, her way of flirting I guess
>concert starts, she doesn't do much but stay still
>would walk away sometimes
>too nice to leave her alone so I go with her
>spent majority of concert watching the performance from afar
>takes my hand, doesn't let go
>at this point I hate my life
>tells me to ditch concert and go somewhere else
>fuck it, as long as it makes the day end sooner
>go to a nearby park
>she gets on the grass and lays down
>wants me to lay down with her
>"please don't make me do this"
>she pulls me to her
>starts grabbing my flaccid dick
>wants to fuck on the grass
>"oh god please no"
>tries to get me hard
>literally can't, she's too fucking ugly
>tell her I feel really uncomfortable
>she notices, agrees to leave
>fucking finally
>go home, didn't text her for a long time
>call her on the phone
>I say "I think we're taking this too fast"
>"yeah, honestly I think you're right... hopefully we can still be friends"
>don't talk to her ever again

and that is why I do not have a girlfriend

pics of grill.
> i gotta know

Haha crazy story man. How ugly was she? Anyone famous to compare her to?

> offbyonekenobi.jpg

How is that sad? He's successfully getting all the good parts out of marriage/a relationship without the shitty part (not to mention the risk of losing half your shit in divorce court).

I would like to preserve anonymity, thanks
her pictures made her look 8/10 but she was more like a 3 irl. there's really no one I can compare to. she just had big lips, an avocado shaped head, and she was very tall for a woman.

Oh shit. No butt or tits

not gonna lie, only redeemable thing about her was her tits. very nice, I liked.

your answer to that

Overweight. No self confidence. Self esteem issues. Not autistic socially but never really had a conversation with female that wasn't "forced". Never gone up to a girl and talked or asked one out so would prolly have to do that first before getting a gf. happy?

>/16(Sat)02:07:58 No

this. im an apathetic piece of shit

I'm pretty good looking but trash at talking

I spent my Friday night on Cred Forums you fucking faggot. Why the fuck do you think?

Because I don't try.
I don't try because of fear of rejection.
I have fear of rejection because of low self-esteem and body issues.

Because I like being independent and don't need drama up in my shit.

I'm married

No social skills, don't even know how to meet girls who potential gf material, also I'm ugly.

Messaging her in another tab

Tried to kill myself last year, but some anons here helped me through it.

Don't want to say "It gets better", because that's bullshit and I hated hearing it as much as you do, but sometimes, it does, so why don't we continue to fuck around on Cred Forums, and see if it does.

Because autism

Waste of effort. I play hard to get. I love girls with an attitude, so I don't get far with them, because I have to match there level. Brings me back to point A. Waste of effort.

married with children

stfu faggot. try having to have never talked to a girl almost ever. then you'd really be sad

because I'm terrible at small talk.

I don't need to try, I was there.

Then, someone just walked in and next thing you know, I'm not so lonely anymore...

Cuz i have one. Nerds.

I'm afraid afraid of dates, I'd imagine we would have a lot of awkward silences and she would probably end up not wanting to see me again. There's a girl that likes me but I would rather just be friends so that she doesn't stop liking me. I guess I'm just afraid of being alone.

Fat

working 60-90 hours a week leaves me enough time to go home shower eat and jerk off before i go to bed and repeat

i am not fit enough yet. if i were to try, i'd be rejected most likely. i can talk to girls, but i don't feel hot enough. i am going to get a gym membership soon before Christmas so i can become a god to summer. wish me luck

Don't want
Don't need
and even if
too expensive
not enough time
bored as death as soon as I spend my time with someone
...
and I'm a faggot for shemale cock, so...

Let's get honest here: who are you planning on getting in shape for? Yourself or your potential partner?

Because if it's not for yourself then you need not to even fucking do it. Doing things for other people doesn't make you happy and you'll be doing it for all the wrong reasons.

I have no confidence or feeling of self worth.

Cause I'm a fucking weirdo for being myself

because im ugly fat and cant talk to women without being fucking goobered drunk.

Because I can't see myself in a relationship, only had one gf and when that ended I realised that I wouldn't get another gf again. I will probably die alone

But I have.

Did until 3 days ago but apparently 6 years is worth throwing away because you want some frat boy dick. Fucking whore

stantards are to high