Things you will never tell your gf

no I guess she would just laugh and be like "dawww das so cute"
my gf told me she went down on another girl after a dare when she was in kindergarten and that's how I reacted cause I know kids do this kind of shit

Huh.
Well i still wouldn't tell her, because she would need to exist...
>wojak.png

well I hope you get a little less insecure and immature before you meet one because damn... the poor girl...

I will never tell my bf this
Inb4 faggot

>be me, 15 years old
>have gf, so im seen as not gay
>she pressures me into sex
>dont enjoy it, dont finish
>she says it will be better next time
>next time?
>2nd time comes
>she tells me to put it in her ass
>ok I guess
>feels good man
>suddenly smell something
>look down
>shit everywhere
>ohgodwhy.avi
>Im mortified
>clean up
>she says it will be better next time
>tell her no
>every time after I just eat her out and masturbate to gay shit after she leaves

I still hate that this happened

>2nd time comes
>she tells me to put it in her ass
I would have married the girl

I know i'm insecure, i know i'm immature, i know i'm many other things, that's why i don't have one, personal decision.

Mee too. I like your style.

>gf

Well im gay, soooooo

dont have a gf at the moment but..

>be 14
>playing vidya with a friend
>lie in bed
>suddenly feel horny
>done gay stuff with other friends before
>idea pops up!
>tell him i bet 5 money i dare to suck your dick
>"o-ok"
>suck him for a few mins
>he smiles, "wow u actually did it"
>went to his place, locked his door because of annoying sister
>69
>fuck him in the ass
>he doesnt seem to mind, quite the opposite
>"huh, usually it hurts for other guys" (didnt know about lube or stretching, just used spit and pushed it in)
>trust faster and faster
>he makes low lewd noises
>cum inside him
>hnnng
>then watched spiderman (fuck yea)

I know
but now that I think about it, a girl who asks for it in the butt and shits on your dick is not a wife-tier anal-slut, she's just a reckless idiot

>me, 15
>live in the countryside
>on a crowded bus to school
>bus jolts, I'm hanging on for dear life
>kid in front of me flails, catches hold of my dick
>diamonds, fuck
>bus is still not steady
>kid won't let go
>bus stabilizes
>kid still hasn't let go
>lets go after a while
>try my best to move away from the kid while hiding boner
>realize I'm a pedo and become shut-in
I won't have to tell this to a girlfriend, will I?

I would tell the story how a freind of mine buttfucked me at 11 but my girlfreind actually knows that and all the other wierd shit i did so...

wait what the fuck.

fugg, wish I fucked my friends :(

Exactly. She was one of those shy types, but instead of being the shy intelligent type, she was just a dumb ass.

Ok.
>be me
>1 year without seeing my mother
>come home
>mom have guests, lady friend which I don't know
>she's milf part time firefighter
Precum.flac
>as soon as I get there she's start to hit on me
>how handsome I was in person, way better than the pics my mom showed
Spaghettiwaterboiling.jpg
>I get uncomfortable with the situation
>haha. Thank you and shit
>run upstairs, ask my younger sister wtf
>sister is a slut, says, fuck her bro
whoareyoupeople.png
>one week later she invites me to her house, lets drink something, you are old enough to drink, right darling?
>I try to act tough and goes yeah, me and my buddies from D&D are always drinking.
>is that a fraternity, user?
>y-y-yeah, kind of.

Cont?

w-william?

do you even need to ask fucking faggot? of course continue!

>dumb ass
heh

never too late!

Have an image in my head

>be me
>6yo
>sleeping with a friend on his house
>Me putting my penis ON his ass just for 1 second
>don't remember how, why .

He's still my friend and still i see him everyday (on school)
I hope he forgot .
And i'm not a fagget

not William.
but why in the fuck did you do that?

Yes, tell us the story of how you managed to fuck up the chance of fucking your mom

horny I guess?

>Be 10
>Maid has Daughter living with Family
>Maid's Daughter is 8
>Became playmates
>3 months pass
>She catches me watching Porn
>Ask what are they doing
>Told her to fuck off
>2 weeks pass
>Caught her watching my Porn
>Didn't do anything
>Later that night
>She comes into my room asking if i want any milk
>Tell her no
>Sits besides me
>Tells me she wants to do the things she watched
>OMG.jpg
>For a week i only do foreplay and stimulate her
>Tells me to put it in
>Can't handle it any longer too
>We Fuck
>Continued to fuck everytime we wanted for 2 years until my family didn't need a maid anymore

Tightest pussy that i've ever fucked in my entire life.

>gf
If you have one, you don't belong on this website.

well, i was horny too at one point, so i know what you went through.
>be 13
>was chilling in a room with a family friend (a guy)
>he says to me do you want to have sex?
>Wew.jpg
>being the autist that i am i said yee-yes.
>we go into a room and lock the door.
>we turn on the tv and put the sound on
>we take turns buttfucking each other
>i didnt cum in him but im pretty sure he did in me
>still worried if im gay.

thats my story.

thats hot, where are u from?

How Old he has ?

Ok, Mr trips.

>we get to her house, really nice place.
>I ask if there was a Mr. user
>she says no, he used to hit her and shit.
>her teen daughter lives with her grandparent, better neighborhood, schools, locations etc.
Halfbottleofcheapwinealready.mp3
>she says she's impressed about I be living in another state studying and working just to sent some money from my mom.
>I just want to help her, she's all I got
>wow user your gf must be so proud
>I don't have any, never had one
At this point she shoves down her throat basically a fucking full glass of wine with one shot.
>but have you ever been with a woman user?
>I-I-I
>of course you did, right?
>yeah, of course I did
Pornmoviesflashback.avi

he was 14, my famliy knew his family so we hung out together

Michigan

nice trips.

huh ok, you sounded like one of my old fuckbuddies

>be 9
>watch porn with best friend
>we're pretty much like "why do adults like this?"
>might try it out
>sleepover.jpg
>let's go
>put my dick up his ass
>let him put his dick up my ass
>yes, when I was 9 I buttfucked my best friend
>15 years later he's still my best friend but we never EVER talk about it

pic related:
my face every time I think about it

>be 5yo and friends with all the other lil kids in the neighbourhood
>usually climb over backyard fence to visit my mates cause I was a badass and this was a shortcut
>climb some day on th efence see my neighbour buddy and his cousin both 5yo as me without pants
>clim over ask them what they are doing they tell me they heared say someune suck my dick and wanted to try it so they sucked eachother off
>I asked them whats the deal with it why would you suck on a peener
>they say it feels good here we show you
>have no idea what this is about say ok
>his faggot cousin puts my 5yo dick in his mouth and starts sucking
>feelsweird.jpeg
>dontlikeit.gif
>Idontwanna.webm
>tell them that I dont wanna participate in this and leave
>as I climb back over the fence I watch them proceeding with their faggotory
>mfw born hetero

Not London?

interesting, care to tell a story on that?

no im not in london.

>things you will never tell your gf
>never tell your gf
>your gf
>gf

So many unchecked gets in this thread.

bah what is there to tell, moved alot when i was a kid, got new friends that liked videogames and sometimes we just sucked eachothers dicks and stuff cause anything makes a guy horny at that age.

i thought u didnt like gay stuff?

>8
Well, duh

>Old girlfriend has kinky sexual fantasies.
>Says she wants to be a 12 year old little girl in bed
>Get instantly rock hard and fuck like rabbits on nestle quick
>she makes cute little girl noises and calls me daddy
>Cum almost immediatly
>she tells me it was the best sex she has ever had
>Lies down next to her catching my breath
>Finally get the courage to ask why she wants to pretending to be 12 when she is going to be 12 in a few months anyways.

well, i just wanted to hear your story. im not gay of course, but i like to listen to stories of others.

...

classic.

>2016
>still wanting a gf

>you want to see my room, user?
>yeah s-sure
Diamondshard.jpg
>I sit in the bed she starts to undress I front of me
>should I take off mine too?
>I'll take it for you, user
>she starts by my pants, she can feel my erection that for some reason I was trying to hide.
>wow user, it's been a while since I've fucked someone.
>she sucked me for way longer than movie porns shows.
Fuckingsilkmouth.feels
>she layed me down and slided my dick inside
>your so wet, Mrs. user
>I know user, just fuck me like the little girl I am
WTF.WTF

...

I took my GF's little sister's virginity and her mother helped.

hot. how did this happen?

...

Too slow. Nobody cares about your fantasy anymore.

wow. more?

Meth. Not even once.

Your friend liked it. He'd do it again with you if you offered.

>be 10
>friend also 10
>his older brother makes him jerk him off
>he shows me
>we start jerking off together and soon each other
>two months later big bro makes him suck his cock
>literally the next morning he's over at my house sucking my dick
>Cum my first clear little load in my buddy's mouth
>Pretty much every day for the next year we're sucking each other's dicks

im bisexual. gf has no idea. shes super homophobic.

i have been the meat in a gay sandwich. i've had a group of "straight" guys run a train on me. 11 guys one after another.

still love pussy maybe a 60:40 split though so i never have a reason to out myself.

Why would i not want one?
Faggot

how would you know?

Way to go man.

ok i guess..
>was at best friends house
>took turn at playing some fps game, 1942 something
>he had this chill madrass on the floor where i slept
>suddnely low and behold, both horny
>get undressed, family was out that evening
>suck eachother , try to suck him as deep as possible
>"hey, can i stick it in your butthole?"
>"sure he said" with a curious smile
>he tried to sit on it
>"ouch, fuck, it hurts to much"
>he sucks me more trying to get me as wet as possible
>then i licked his butthole with as much drool as ppossible
>hnnng got head in
>"ouch.. OUCH"
>"aw come on maaan, its almost in"
>"no fucking way, hurts too much, you try it"
>I sighed, "ok lets do it u pussy"
>"jesus christ it REALLY hurts"
"IKR", he said, "wonder how the girls does it in porn.."
facepalming now as i write this, if i could turn back fucking time
>then we went down on the madrass on the floor again and sucked of eachother.
>"can i cum in your mouth" i asked
>"ok but then you have to do me next?"
>I fap while he sits with face close to my dick
>tell him to open his mouth and take his tounge out
>ohyeah i can work with this
>cum after a minute, "NOW"
>he sucks my dick while i sigh and trust into his mouth
>"aaahahaaaw... fuck yeah, want me to do y..
>"FUCKING GROSS MAN" he says, "EW"
>"well what did u expect.. its cum, want me to do you next?"
>"nah man its fine"
>continue to play videa till bedtime where more lews things went on under the blankets
wish he would cum in my mouth though.. regets where had

>the end

...

I can vouch that this is the best sexuality to have on earth

>ITT: Faggots

I second this

Families one of those broken but functional white trash types. Mum holds parties for them a LOT to try and make them happy with home life and stuff so we had one for last years new year celebration. Everyone got tanked but i'm used to parties and so was her mother so we fucked on the couch after everyone crashed.
Can't even remember how we got the idea but mum and i nightcapped gf and middle daughter who were too drunk to question a "hangover preventative".
Again it gets fuzzy but we managed to get the youngest to agree and we all had drunk sex. Wasn't the only time with the sister and i routinely hung out with the mum beforehand so now when we meet up to bang no one questions us spending a day away from everyone.

Honestly i might dump the GF soon cause she's gotten really possessive of my time and attention lately and is gaining weight fast. Brightside she doesn't live at home so if i do switch bases shit won't be awkward.

No gf but I don't say it to anyone so it counts I suppose
>be about 11
>barely budding sexually, never even been taught about sex or anything
>brothers friend and I are playing games one day
>he finds brothers porn mags underneath the bed
>asks me if I've ever jerked off and I say no.
>starts jerking off and tells me to just do the same
>get hard and all that but no cum; he does though everywhere.
>starts becoming regular thing and eventually he managed to convince me to suck his dick
>now I'm bi
>feminine appearance attracts me to either sex, but the idea of sucking and fucking cock gets me panting.
>don't know how to deal with mixed feelings
End up being alone and practically asexual.
If only someone would teach me to be a cockwhore or be mine.
Oh how life is grand.

You guys are lame. I had a gf once that, when I pulled out, I had poopdick and she sucked it clean for me. Which was kind of awful because post orgasm, but still, it was rad.

After she cums, apparently, I've only seen this in porn at that time.
>user you still hard? What do you want to do?
So I recollect every data from porn that I've had ever watched.
>do you mind if I stick it up your ass?
Didn't need to ask twice
>she got on fours and start to spit in her hand and rubbing against her asshole
itshabenning.wave
>tight at first and them vacuum inside
>we fuck for about 15 mins. And I couldn't hold anymore.
Cream pie special
And that's how I lost my virginity. My wife is a little mind closed about fucking before marriage, so that's why I would never tell her this.

...

>be me, 8
>on Windows XP playing pinball
>decide to look up "free sex games"
>discover the Meet n Fuck series
>Grandma right across the room
>Turn monitor to me
>Binge play all the Porn games
>Every time my grandma walked past me I switched to pinball
>After a few hours of playing I fucking cum in my pants
>Didn't even know how to masturbate
>Do this for several days later
>One day I accidentally download "Red Light District"
>Panics and presses power button while it's installing
>The MONITOR power button
>Mom and dad come and turn on monitor
>They see everything
>I start bawling
>Say a virus showed me "Balloons and Cucumbers fighting"
>MFW they bought it

...

this is the kind of shit i did, expect the downloading part.

>Balloons and Cucumbers fighting

kek/10

how hard could it be? go out and suck dicks!

>be 50 years old
>gf is 10
>i will never tell her that im just fucking her because im a pedo
>she thinks we are in love

continue pls

Fucking hell, my sides.

scum.

bump

About the other women. I kinda despise myself for cheating, but I can't really undo it now. Sometimes when drunk I get that "king of the world" feeling and just go for it, not thinking about consequences.

It's kind of a sucky situation since I haven't told my older group of friends that I date and at some point I probably have to introduce my current kinda girlfriend to them and that's when I fear the shit will hit the fan.

I've been getting closer and closer to it except as I do, so does my desire to appear more feminine for it, I think it's a confidence thing. If I lose a little weight and shave, I pass easily; I have long hair and a fat ass as it is; always get told I'm cute and pretty even by dudes but never go full on. I want to have my mouth fucked, and have my ass trained. Any guidance to becoming femboy/trap anyone?

Sometimes when she's asleep (We share an apartment during the school year), I would whip my cock out, set it on her face and then take pictures
Will post some when I'm back at my computer

I wish homophobic GF's were more common without them being old and religious mothers.

I get boners in bumpy car rides because it jostles around my dick. You aren't a pedo, just stupid.

dont have any training exp, but id fuck your face if you would do mine :3

there's nothing wrong with being pedo jesus christ

everyone gets hot for kids sometimes, yes everyone

Cringe

Saw this joke worded slightly different a few hours ago on this same board and it didn't get this many (you)s.

I guess the grammatical errors make the joke better?

So much samefagging

Would gladly oblige if you did me a favor. I'd want you to choke and kiss me, then slap my ass until I begged to have my mouth used.
Either way as long as you cuddle me I'd be yours to use however you please ;)

Not bad user. I r8 8/8

I wish. No, not really. But maybe a little.

>i have been the meat in a gay sandwich. i've had a group of "straight" guys run a train on me. 11 guys one after another.

How did this happen? Tell me so I can do it.

>be 16 making mad money at bk
>sister 4 years younger
>ask for money to go to mall
>tell her only is she sucks my dick
>laughing cause I'm funny
>no hesitation says OK
>sister sucked my dick for 50 bones
>swallowed everything and left
>best 50 spent

huh.. never kissed a boy before. but. oh id spank you hard and long allright then lie you on your back and push my cock down your throat while lying on top of you, playing with your dick, never tried cuddling either, sounds nice though

I kind of know how you feel. I'm not attracted to a manly physique but just thinking of playing with a trap's cock makes me more worked up than anything. Too afraid to take that step, so I know I'll be all alone in life.

Sauce on image? Preferably english subbed

>Balloons and Cucumbers fighting
Holy kek user, I haven't laughrd that hard in weeks

I laughed. Thanks, old timer.

cringe.

atleast i have chicken.

>I fucked a chicken once

Right, but oddly enough I also want to be fucked or handled. So it's a confusing state to be in. I want a feminine partner that isn't as girly as I am. Ugh sexuality is frustrating. If it makes you feel better you're truly not alone, and I'd go full trap to please you ^^

lmao, story on that?

bump

This got me panting and hard. I've never kissed a boy either, just had my mouth used. I wouldn't make you though, I just want to serve a master. Mmmmmmm fuck I need something right now.

>4th grade
>9/11 happens
>tell everyone my cousin delivers pizza in NY
>tell them he might have been there
>pretend to cry and shit
>make 9/11 about me

kys, you selfish cunt.

You're a wicked one to tempt me so.

You.. You hero.

Good for you user, help your brother jihhadists and make everyone forget so their defense go down

Maybe you`ll earn that kiss, if you`re a good boy. What ever could you be wanting right now?

this is sad. two beta males sexing each other up.i suggest both of you just gfto of Cred Forums and just actually do something with your life.

do you live in the continental us?

you're evil, I like you

kys.

Mmm I wouldn't say beta. I have regular dates with women and fuck like an animal, but there's a part of me I keep inside and only show in low stakes environments. Basically, you're the faggot, not us.

Can't exactly say I'm a good girl I suppose lol
Maybe you can punish me honey, make me hurt oh so good

stop acting so jealous, faggot

>implying that im the faggot.

how about you get the fuck out of Cred Forums if you're so alpha and get one of those "women" that you have dates with.

>be 11
>share bedroom with older brother
>masturbate together when we hear our parents fuck
>he suggests we touch each other
>do that for a few weeks and start trying anal with small objects like pens
>he tells me to suck his dick so I do and hate it
>he sucks my dick and loves it
>we decide to try anal but he's too big for me so I just fuck him
>he steals girls clothes from the neighbors washing line and we fuck while wearing them
>fuck in back garden late at night and nearly get caught by dad
>go out in public late at night while wearing the girls clothes and fuck in the nearby empty park
>spend about 3 years having gay sex with my brother in our bedroom and in public

im not jealous you faggot. kys for being so degenerate

>be in 6th grade
>have hot ADD friend
>Somehow we end up skinny dipping together tons of times
>see each other naked
>he's tanned, athletic and has a slight six pack; uncut
>I'm a skinny pale nerd so kind of awkward; cut
>both still prepubescent but have some blonde hair
>end up getting more comfortable around each other
>eventually have him over one day
>he asks me to suck him off in childish language
>wont repeat what he said since it wouldn't make much sense lel
>but end up sucking him off
>not really sure about any of this because didn't know how to fap at the time
>he starts breathing heavily but Im awkward so I don't know if hes enjoying it or not
>stop, much regret

And yes, he was very, very, very hot. I have a few more experiences with friends after that like the time when I showed my best friend my dick and then realized that other boys at that age had really small dicks. He was kind of curious and ended up jerking me off. Unfortunately, he didn't let me touch him back because he was too insecure after seeing me naked. I would have sucked him off ;---; I actually ended up added him to Facebook a while ago and flirted with him but he's still too much in denial about being bi to do anything.

Fast forward a few years and I'm now a shut-in. I've done some stuff with a close friend since then but since I never go any where I don't meet anyone.

Some fucking dick please lol
I just want to thrown to the floor, forced to pull my pants down and get my ass pounded. I need my cherry popped, I'm begging for it. Whew I'm starting to sweat a little bit

stop calling me faggot, faggot

wow. do you need help?

This is gold

...

how about you go and fuck yourself,autistic basement dweller?

wow, did you walk past a mirror typing that? lol

Edgy

Yes. Central PA.

Gr8 b8, m8. I rel8, str8 appreci8, and congratul8. I r8 this b8 an 8/8. Plz no h8, I’m str8 ir8. Cre8 more, can’t w8. We should convers8, I won’t ber8, my number is 8888888, ask for N8. No calls l8 or out of st8. If on a d8, ask K8 to loc8. Even with a full pl8, I always have time to communic8 so don’t hesit8

had a bf who played soccer. they won an important game. had a party. bf wanted to try a 3 way. people kept joining in then leaving. in the end i counted 8 dicks in my ass and stopped counting after that. guess it was around 11.

soccer really is a faggot sport after all

Where do you think you are, faggot? I admit I'm an unrepentant faggot for being turned on by him but you wouldn't be so surprised if you weren't so new. Now I've got a mind to fuck him where you can see us and make you squirm with disgust as he moans with pleasure. I'm a degenerate faggot, you'd better be prepared if you think this can turn me off.
Oh good, the captcha is auditoriums.

What a good whore you are! Oh, you need my big dick? Have you been putting naughty things up your bum thinking of this?

Josh??

Guys, please. This is going nowhere.
I'm a sissy faggot, I want cock and there's nothing wrong with that (or if anyone else does for that matter). No need for a pissing match. I'm going to cook breakfast naked like a good boy.

>>tell him i bet 5 money i dare to suck your dick
>tell him i bet 5 money...
>5 money....

Your one them special kinda retards aren't you?

Wait. U fucked ur mother and ur two sisters and the gf at same time?

Why am I always being put in the friend zone. I’m a nice guy, work a nice job, and would do anything for m’lady. In the end these girls always go after DOUCHEBAG guys who treat them like shit, and only talk to me to cry about it. I’m sick of being considered ‘beta’ or whatever you call it.

nice thumb nail fag

cool. Just wondering m8

Faggot

Fjrjrkelgj

not from murrica.

jesus please just fuck me now lol
Thanks for sticking up for me love. I'd show you my appreciation anytime:)

>implying two faggots getting off of each other are concerned what girls think of "nice guys"
You're not very bright, are you son?

He doesn't need help.
But I need a bowl for all this jelly!

>be 10
>at a family friend's salon
>her son (8) asks me if I want to play upstairs
>he has a bunch of spice girl barbies, didn;t question it
>"Hey come in here, user, I have somethign to show you!"
>I turn around and he's stood in the cupboard
>walk in
>he starts trying to kiss me with his penis out
>it looks all dark purple and bruised
>consider it momentarily
>decide this is too fucked up
>walk downstairs and pretend I have awful stomach cramps
>we go home

I always did wonder if he remembers that day and why his penor looked like that...

I've been seriously considering it once my friend leaves my place lol. Been laying in been just flustered and panting. I really wish I could be relieving this ache.
I'd love your big dick, I'd give you head however and whenever you want. You could just ignore me until you needed your dick pleased I promise!

Bite poilus nique ca race je me sers jute de Cred Forums pour un tirage au sort donc bon

>penor
Spic?

fuck, i've been found out, i guess ill have to kill myself, and.. oh wait, im not a faggot that is so desperate for sex that i will resort to talking on an forum for a chance to get sex.

Yeah, you're a faggot that can't let go that two guys (and another guy) got way too excited to find someone with the same desires and got his panties in a bunch reading their posts. Bet you've got an awkward boner as well, faggot.

If you want to know why you yourself are such a fuckin loser compared to a closet faggot sissy like myself is because you don't understand "fun". It's fun to fantasize, be adored for a little, and enjoy that boost. You're the type that won't let go for a minute and just enjoy life. Like a faggot.

fucking sage, you're wrong about that.

That's so gay

Check'd, which city if you don't mind? I live close to GR

Nope, just memes

Best childhood ever user

Sorry didn't link. Please don't be mad baby I promise to be good

...

Oh now he's defending himself to a faggot that was shamelessly flirting with another faggot. How does it feel, faggot? You feel manly yet?

Didn't link my response. Thanks for sticking up for me :) I'd be beyond willing to serve you just for that

Wot the fok did ye just say 2 me m8? i dropped out of newcastle primary skool im the sickest bloke ull ever meet & ive nicked ova 300 chocolate globbernaughts frum tha corner shop. im trained in street fitin’ & im the strongest foker in tha entire newcastle gym. yer nothin to me but a cheeky lil bellend w/ a fit mum & fakebling

This won`t do. Edge yourself for one hour and I`ll consider letting you even touch my dick, bitch.

I'm the in the closet sissy this whole thing started over and this got me cracking up lol. Thank you

>be 15
>kissless virgin
>got a gay friend who i know is a slut
>says he'll suck me off
imnotgayjustdesperate.jpg
>he sucks my cock at mine while mums out
>says i'm really big."thanks user"
>asks me to fuck his ass
>no prep, disgusting brown crown
>says it's only fair if i try sucking his dick
>put it in my mouth, instant gag, almost vomit in bathroom
sollyboss
>do this a few times, he comes round, sucks my cock, plays on my computer

mfw he killed himself a few years back, no witnesses. secret safe.

also
>staying with auntie and uncle in brazil
>14
>8 year old cousin
>budding whore
>get her to play with my dick
>sit at aunts house while she jacks me off and lets me rub her pussy
>almost get caught my other cousin several times
>try to get her to suck the cock, nope
>one time get caught by parents under the covers, she tries to dime on me, convice parents she's a filthy liar
that's the end of that chapter.

gf will never know. plus i've cheated on her with my lesbian friend twice

>soccer really is a faggot sport after all

I lold. I guess so user.

>tfw no one to fuck me.

I have a friend who wants to fuck me whenever he gets drunk and horny but when he's sober he's totally not gai and makes fun of gays. REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeee

eh, i guess you're ok. just enjoy yourself, whatever you do.

nope

>capitalising Cred Forums
fuck off

Don't use emoticons, faggot. I can't punish you over the internet but I hope you'll find someone that understands your needs and will stick with you through it all.

Thank you. You're not so bad either :)

how about you fuck off?

Thank you user, I dream of it at least. And I will do as you say, no more emoticons. Ever. Just for Jew. You.

>be 16
>in high school
>have alpha friend who is protective and loving towards me like a big bro
>constantly flirt and tease each other jokingly
>i constantly grab his cock and ass
>he slaps my ass and hits on me in front of the other girls
>one day sitting on teachers table
>he comes to me cockily and comes to my lips (we'd do this then pretend we have to leave to make the class laugh)
>i dont pull back this time
>he is a few atoms away from my lips
>i dont budge
>he plants a peck on my lips
>i peck back
>he inserts tongue
>i grab his head and tongue kiss him hard
>class is in fucking uproar
>never speak of it again

I'm sorry love, I didn't mean to upset you. I'll be sure not to cum all day for my stupidity. I'm nothing but a whore anyways.
If you want i can cook for you and suck your dick while you eat. Whatever you need

>>never speak of it again
wat

>be 14, sister 12
>walk into bathroom not realising my sister is in the bath and forgot to lock the door
>she covers herself and tells me to get out
>I say "no I need a shit"
>try not to look at her while taking a shit but get a boner anyway
>ask to see her tits
>she shows me and I masturbate while she watches
>I cum and leave without saying anything
>few days later I know she's in the bath so I walk in on purpose
>door unlocked, she doesnt cover herself or say anything
>I sit on the toilet and masturbate to her again
>do this a few times for weeks
>eventually start fingering her and kissing
>get her to sit on the toilet while I eat her pussy
>one time after eating her pussy for what felt like half an hour I ask her to suck my dick, she refuses but asks me to fuck her
>we fuck only once
>move house, no more bathroom with toilet in it, only a shower next to parents bedroom
>never do anything again or even talk about it
>few years later check her facebook for nudes while fixing her laptop, find messages to her ex boyfriend claiming her brother raped her, not sure if she meant me or our older brother
>realise she never spoke during anything we did other than the time she asked me to fuck her so I have no idea if she was into it or if it was rape

lol, dont have to go that far, bro.

yeah, we were "straight" and "ladies men" so we just buried it all in the sand

fine Ill bite

>be me 21
>visit cousin in Italy
>shes 13 but well developed
>got sick the first day there cause of climate change in plane
>tx obama
>the rest of the house goes out all day while I sit in bed cursing my existence playing Jedi Outcast and fapping to hentai
>3rd day cousin tells her parents she wants to stay home
>the only thing that made the trip bearable was my laptop and silence fml
>I try to play dead to evade her
>really fall asleep at some point
>wake up to see my notebook missing
>I almost spaghetti at the thought of what ppl could find there
>say in my room pray I just misplaced it
>I hear a knock
>open the door
>get on the floor
>everybody do the dinosaur

>be 12
>horny kid on family computer
>gets idea to google some porn
>decides to google "12 year old girl nude"
>find nothing and just look at other porn sites
>forgets to delete internet search history
>mom walks in and sees the search results
"What is this user?!"
>Tell her it was my Uncle's roommate Andrew, he recently borrowed the computer
>She's high as fuck on her medication
>buys the whole thing and forgets about it
>comes back later and deletes search history

I have a garbage bag of pretty well all the women ive fucked dirty panties that i made em masturbate into

Not rape if they like it

lel, thats vanilla af

>when i was in kindergarten
>around 5y old
>we boys would go into a room
>barricade the door (to keep the girls out, the adults didnt mind checking on what we were doing)
>stand in a cycle and some would show their dicks / retract foreskin (german)
but thats just shit little kids do

not even sure if i have a thing i wouldnt tell my gf,
well wouldnt immediatly but surely before marriage

>am nearly 23
>a year ago i was tired of being a kissless v and signed up on multiple casual sex plattforms
>neither tinder, nor ocupid or pof
>wouldnt find a woman or couple
>am bi interested for years, fapped to traps and ladyboys
>actually loose my virginity to a 28y old Indonesian
>we still do it, actually like him but no romantical feelings

would perhaps tell my gf

not so sure about telling her about
>fucking a latino cd bareback
>walking out (after i came) on another SEA trans for being too clingy (wanted me to stay for breakfast), actually begged me to stay and gave me the blowjob of my live as an incentive but the more s/he begged, the more it was clear i couldnt stay

one of the latter gave me chlamydia

kinda sad and embarrassing that i cant manage to bang chicks, I'm not even introvert.
But still somehow dont manage to fuck after party/club

>once in a club was grinding on a ~30y old woman was grabbing that ass (she didnt like it, but didnt go away), lost interest when she asked for my age, told her i was 26 or something
>not even sure if that was too young or too old for her liking, cause i saw her dancing with a 18y old later

>brought a girl home from a party
>got me a kiss in front of her door but nothing more
>met again a few days later, made out, she sat/grinded on me, let me rub her pussy through panties, but but didnt let me inside them
>bailed on me because it was getting late and she had some work to do for the next day

thumb nail

>few hours ago
traffic dude

Old pasta. Well, not that old, but pasta all the same.

>>I ask if there was a Mr. user

"Is there a Mister Gump, Misses Gump?"

keep telling yourself that, user

>1 second
>And i'm not a fagget

pls do

It's definitely not pasta

when I was about 15 or so I used to sneak into my 12yo sisters room and suck on her tits while she was asleep. I hope to god she was actually asleep and doesn't remember that.

>be 10
>playing airsoft with friends
>run out of bbs
>friend says to get more inside
>walk inside and through kitchen
>see friend's parents fucking on table
>"say nothing of this"
>grabs bbs, face beat red, palms sweaty, tripping on way out

>dinner time
>everyone is eating chicken and talking
>table goes silent after a bit
>"what smells like fish?"
>never went back

Nah. I fuck the gf all the time cause she's a gf.
I fuck the mum cause she's DTF. After that night last year i've also been tapping the youngest cause she's DTF, attention hungry, and now has pseudo daddy issues.
Haven't touched the middle one cause she's a grade A bitch when you aren't playing her games.
Fun bit is the mother, and by proxy the dads, is bankrolling the pills for all 3 and occasionally the booze.
Hell, i spend 6 days out of the week at their place.

>tfw actually off by 1

Huh. Thats rly fucking cool.

Got some pics? Would be interesting to see

Fucking hero. I just masturbate to my hot mother in law milf used panties and pics she sent me. I'm a normie, I guess.

I have plenty of the mum but not on my phone cause GF likes text for me and shit.
Its worked out great. I honestly worry i have hypersexuality or whatever its called cause prior to this i was jacking it 15-20 times a day and even when it was just gf it only cut it down to 10-15.

When can u post the mum?

Post the pics

When i'm off work. Sadly thats at 6 and its 1:20.

I'd love to see that. Can we exchange kiks so u msg me after work?

I don't have kik. Is it just an app and signup?

None on my phone. But she looks like Brandi Love.

i actually told mine cause this shit was autistic as but i wasnt directly involved
>have a twin brother
>be around 10
>classmate invites to his house
>he is a redhead muslim faggot (kinda think he is an albino now)
>he starts talking about how to jerk off
>you tie your dick in a knot and pull on it
>this cant be good
>tells how his dad caught him humping his pillow while he peed on it after orgasm
>well that might be exciting
>says lets get naked to see how we look cause his parents are out
>i refuse
>my bro and this guy do
>he tries to touch my bro
>i laugh hysterically
>bro feels awkward
>they stop
>i laugh at them for being faggets
>muslim fag is pissed for some reason
>says we should go home
im guessing he wanted to fuck or some shit and i ruined his gay fantasy

i told this to my gf and she laughed

>22 (27 now)
>eating asian buffet with ex gf
>had to pee
>fucking bathroom door had to remain open for other cutomers
>urinals are in way you can see them from only one seat in one table outside
>that particular seat is occupied by a girl waaaaay under the age (lets say 7 or 8)
>pee anyway
>girl looks the entire time
>dont actually make eye contact
>wash hands, get out, continue eating
>think about non stop while having sex later that day

my current gf thought it was the girl's fault

maybe she spied on guys when she was that age or something? im really really wondering

Don't reply for me they might get the wrong idea.

They are blonde and white though only 2 have blue eyes.
Mum has that sort of pale ginger skin complexion and facial structure but not the kids.

Yeah. It's rly legit for this kinda stuff

>Eating Asian buffet,
haha I see what you did there you slimy grease dog

Finding not sketchy as fuck dudes to blow just cuz is rough

>>think about non stop while having sex later that day
you told this to your gf? really? your gf is a pedo-enabler?

>be me
>16
>mechanical engi high school
>living @ some peoples place
>they have dauther my age
>7/10
>summer
>they all go wecation
>leave us alone
>she annoying
>usless af
>even calls me to make her a tea
>afther a week starts hitting on me
>nope.mp3
>persistent
>well pussy is pussy
>k.jpg
>fuck her on daily bases for 2 months
>does whatever i want
>YES.mp3
>parents come back
>act like nothing happened
>BBESTSUMMEREVER.avi

I'm so horny I'm jerking off in a Walmart parking lot Kik me if you don't believe me...!
Itwasalladream20

Get kik brah. This needs to be shown