Waifu claiming thread

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, my good friend? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Albanian Friendo Organization, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Bully Forces, and I have over 300 confirmed friends who I helped. I am trained in gorilla hugs and I'm the top friend in the entire US hugging forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe your butt out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my words. You think you can get away with being mean to everyone an me over the Internet? Think again, big boy. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of friends across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, mate. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your butt. You're fucking great, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can hug you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed love-giving, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Nurseries and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable butt clean, you friend. If only you could have known what unholy caretaking your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you meanie. I will shit furry porn all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking me, kiddo.

Oh hello there.

...

>I was only 15 years old
>I loved Necron Overlord so much, I had all the merchandise and corpses of Space Marines he killed
>I pray to Necron Overlord every night before bed, thanking him for the life I’ve been given
>"Necron Overlord is love" I say; “Necron Overlord is life”
>My comissar hears me and calls me a heretic
>I know he was just jealous of my devotion for the Necron Overlord
>I called him a weakling
>He shoots me and sends me to go and die
>I’m crying now, and my brain hurts
>I lay on the ground and it’s really cold
>Suddenly, something more cold is moving towards me
>It’s Necron Overlord
>I am so happy
>He whispers into my ear “[...]”
>He grabs me with his powerful necron claws and puts me down onto my hands and knees
>I’m ready
>I spread my ass-cheeks for Necron Overlord
>He penetrates my butt-hole with his Staff of Light
>It hurts so much but I do it for Necron Overlord
>I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water
>I push against his force
>I want to please Necron Overlord
>He says nothing in a mighty silence as he fills my butt with his gauss energies
>My comissar walks in, to finish me off
>Necron Overlord looks him straight in the eyes and says “[...]”
>Necron Overlord leaves through my window
>Necron Overlord is love. Necron Overlord is life.

...

Goodnight.

Yeah, so, why are you such a nice guy? I understand what you're doing in /waifu/, you are just here because everyone on /waifu/ is happy to listen to you about being an oldfag, you were of whatever community that everybody should be able to post in your board.
Why don't you get the stay a bit longer, friendo. This is a waifu thread, but all you do is reply some valuable insights.

You're just a huge-hearted person who cares about everyone and loves to make /waifu/ happy, the place where you behave like what you actually are, a nice person.
And I can go on an on about how much lovely you are, and that's why bullies are dying.
You just know to tolerate, you huge friend that you are.
You're the person who is liked that Cred Forums is talking about.
You're the nice man who just came in here and behaves like he's not a completly retard, because he isnt.

Dont think I will. Hows the kid and the missus?
I slept from 11pm, Im good.
Sleep well

(Alice)
Glad to hear it! What are you up to today?

Tie your neck with piano wire, superglue your hands to your head and jump off something.

They're fine, and you?

Just because you are stupid , I fuck me that you told a little bitch to you? I attack a number of secret of each that I have I know , it's graduation to kill at you II 300 more than you are sure , but top of my class from the Navy , and is essential shall be , I - was involved in I Quaeda . I of the U.S. military has trained top of it as a gorilla warfare sniper whole me. There is something to me so that you do not have to be the only goal for you. I do not have it so , and he was marked down for the ridiculous of me , you ' we have seen before on this planet , he fucks cleanse accuracy you . First , do you think they would look like I can escape say shit on the Internet you ? Stupid people , please think again . I was able to speak and our network of spies secret I've been searching for worms missing in the United States in general , preparation , contact IP, and of you , better storm , . The storm wiped call a little pathetic life for you . You are dead , it 's a stupid child . It is possible and that there anywhere at any time , and can kill you in the way of more than 700 , I'm just my bare hands . I , full of , wipe ass miserable face anywhere in the continent to Arsenal for you to get the United states I a large- scale , and , trained in unarmed combat slightly above Marine Corps as a whole was shit please do not use it for off . Even in the case that you knew is possible , "smart" yourself , it's dirty revenge , you views of stupid that holds the tongue probably I would go to be based at the bottom of a small it I can . The certainly , now , you , you , you will not be able to deceive the price to you , that you did not pay the damned . One person , your , you will drown in the shit out of anger . You're shit , and dead .

Night.

Good night!May your magic bring happiness to you and Kyoko

this is the whistle to make the FBI come,lol

autism derail in progress

good night dude
take it easy with the edginess dude

Damn you!

FUCK YOU TOO
>what motorcycle do you have btw? I'm curious

That's contradicting to what you're saying

I'll make it lol. Soon.. I need to watch new animes tbh

>Best fox claimu

Oh you've slept,I got relieved to hear that.
Let's sleep together

Goodnight

Won't happen again

Im fine. Normal pains for my usual shit.
2008 CB400 without ABS. More a daily rider than a road-eating crotchrocket.

i meant today, not the /waifu/ as a whole

no
but im worried the mailman will come while i can't answer
gs5

Shiro claimed.

(Du)
Eigentlich sind das die gleichen wie immer. Das letzte mal, dass ich die Nummerierung geändert hab war vor 4 Monaten oder so.

>aufs wochenende warten und so
Ja, das mach ich auch immer, wenn der Montag ein Feiertag ist.

Wait, sum fuckboi is tryna steal me waifu? I'll bend his knees backwards!

That's how you kill yourself. Makes it look like your tore your head off.

Sucks bro.

Lel, it did, cute tho.
Cya!

Less wonderful?! Gee, what did I do to deserve this?

Going shopping for more books to read! You?

I'm going to be picking up my prescription meds, then I'll be shopping for books and such.
Any plans for you?~

Good afternoon, Ran.

...

STOP IT
>

Looks nice
Out of these two, what would you recommend for a beginner?
m.kawasaki.com/product/details/2016-Ninja-300-ABS#

ktm.com/us/supersport/rc-390-2016/

Since 11 but imma nap soon

the good ol' he tore his own head of meme
it would actually be hilarious if someone did that
yea dude im watching some good shit right now
although i havent watched that much anime
i dont really have the time to finish series
meh, youre no fun
yea thats pretty much guarenteed, i bet UPS has a camera in your hoise to check when you cant open the door and then bring you your package
thats a great phone, but quite expensive
>i'll bend his knees backwards
holy fuck that made me kek
yea it was a bit awkward since i shit talked him because i thought he was you
purge him dude
also how have you been?
oh thats cool, any ideas what you are going to get?

Kys

Gomenasai, my name is Chen-Sama.

I’m a 27 year old American Oldfag (A person who is using Cred Forums for a long time for you newfags). I draw Dicks and

More Dicks on my tablet, and spend my days perfecting my art and playing superior cancerous games. (Roblox,

Minecraft, FNAF)

I train with my cousin`s dick every day, this superior dick can cut clean through my anus because it is folded over

a thousand times, and is vastly superior to any other dick on earth. I earned my shitposter license two years ago,

and I have been getting better every day.

I speak 1337 fluently, both 9gag and the reddit dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about Cred Forums

history and their anonymous code, which I follow 100%

When I get my Cred Forums pass, I am moving to my mothers basement to attend a prestigious Cred Forums skool to learn more about

their magnificent culture. I hope I can become an mod for the Cred Forums board or a janitor!

I own several Guy Fawkes masks, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to my

mothers basement, so I can fit in easier. I bow to our mods and janitors and speak 1337 as often as I can, but

rarely does anyone manage to respond.

Wish me luck as 4chans admin!

Sure

Hello there

Hi lady with big balls

Hello Syndra.

Claim.

threads getting boring af

>taking the time to edit the pasta

RIP in piece, Ken-Sama.

Homework and learning the basics of League, need a new game to play and people on here seem to like it.

By having an inferior name. Nothing more.
I was just talking about how i haven't read for fun in years.

Balls

Cat ears are better anyways

Is the new Destiny expansion any good?
Is it worth going back to?
I've still been busy with OverMeme and bioshock

Maker of too long sentences to read is a weird

Is money even an object?

A circuit lab. We had to stick test leads into wall sockets
Yes
It went okay I guess. I had faulty equipment though so I kept getting delayed

>

Welcome back, Fuhrer.
Eh. Im used to it. Pain doesnt last long and Ill dump more meds tonight.
Either the Honda CB300 series or the Ninja. Ultimately its what feels right to you, gotta go and sit on them to see if you feel if its too low or high. So if the KTM feels good, thats the one. You'll know when you have a sit.

要 求 す る

>Basis of League
What's the "league"?As to what is it?

I meant worth the time

I still have crippling depression

It's my favorite type of battery.
To spot whether or not it's me look at the way my pictures are numbered. Always in the same way and never primes.
>also how have you been?
Besides the fact that I've got a raiweru, I'm doing fairly good. It's national holiday, so I spend the day doing virtually nothing.

Hey Sturmtruppler, how's it going?

I actually like Chen unironically.

Basics, my bad. League of Legends

SACHO

why?

Have you considered suicide?

Chen is the only sane person in this thread. I'm not even kidding.

Only one I've been watching it GATE. Really surprised I'm almost done with it

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Thank you. It's just whatever feels good for you right?

And I like you, neppy

Take care guys might be back on a few hours

>Ran
>Yuno
>Alice

what the fuck is wrong with you people?

So I took my wife to the stripclub. She thought it would be a fancy like in the movies. Girls walking down catwalks just with no shirt and shit like that. We get into the building and like 3 tables down from us, there's just a bunch of drunk people standing around a circle table cheering, we go to see what all the comotion was and it was just some chick sitting on the table, soread eagle finger blasting herself.

My wife grabs me by the arm and says
We're leaving. Right now

Oh…I see

well…in this thread where the insane gather together,I can't tell what's sane from what's insane

I'll be picking up Zodiac, it's one of my favorites. I'll also be picking up some Manga.

How goes it?

Good taste, user.

I might revisit it as well. Only problem is I don't have people to play with. My friends don't really play it.

How do you suggest we fix that, user?

Oh, alright. Do you not find reading enjoyable?

Agh, that sucks. I dislike labs when we're given faulty equipment. I don't believe I ever asked.. What's your taste in music like?

You're actually right, user.

how would you consider him sane?All he does is insulting

cool, have you been ranked yet? recently got placed in gold, pretty happy tbh

I'm fairly sane.

It hasn't crippled your finders

I hear he has good traits. Wish i could see them every now and then

Nah

Who has the time

I actually do and i wan't to kill myself everyday

Electrical stuff is pretty neat

It depends on how much you like Destiny

I have no issues with Chen, though our interaction has been limited so far

Pretty well, you?

Chen does not support the cult of the pantsu.

Fingers*

Nooo sacho
Please dont be sad
Oh okay thanks for the info, never bothered to look since well no real reason
I'm glad you're still around though
Wait you're from Germany right? Weird that I've never heard of that
What kind of holiday is that?
Why are you surprised by that?
Did you like it? Recommend?
Can I join?
Took some time to make sense of this
Is that the book the movie zodiac is based on? I fucking love that movie, hope the book is just as good
Any manga in particular

He's pretty chill actually.
Actually, many times.
Love ya mom.

I like a variety of things. Classical, metal, some rock, jpop, I just can't stand rap or hip hip

It's old equipment so having faulty tools it's bound to happen
I like it alot. I worked for an electrician company for a while but that work wasnt quite what I wanted. This course is about computer parts

He insults you for the right reasons. Except those times where he is downright shitposting.

That's what your mind wants to believe after living in the meth den.

Oh he does, but he keeps his perversions to himself.

Most of my friends are on third shift sleep schedule's or don't play either. A couple people on here have offered to play with a shit tier new player like me though.
It's no problem
I just finished the tutorial and a battle training game, tried to find a Co op vs bots game but I kept getting a "disconnected from pvp server" message so I assumed I wouldn't find a game and exited, will try again later

Hello.
What did you expect?

Going fine. Relaxing before work.
Gotta agree. I have my moments of retardation.
Pretty much. If you go to a dealer, just sit. Dont actually test ride unless you intend to buy that day.

It has been nearly two months since I moved out and I feel great. A lot more sane to say the least.

Bye

So, why is everybody talking about Chen?

Here. Have some Devin.
youtu.be/yE2ulYKK56U

>Rory-sama

Night, I will take this chance to leave as well.

Please don't stop having your moments of retardation, I'm constantly having them and don't like being alone in that.

Neat, I'm curious to what happened to your roommates.

Bye Yukko.

beacasue he`s cancer.

what time is it with you right now

you just make fun of me
naw i was hoping they did so i looked around but there wasn't any
mexicans know how to save money

i didn't know you moved out of that place, i thought you were still there for some reason

bye

He's a pretty chill guy :^)

One moved back in with his parents, trying to give up meth.

The other moved into the ghetto, keeping the hustle going.

Nope. Moved out, back in with the parents embarrassingly enough, but I am going back to school in about two weeks. Taking a step back to leap forward!

I guess, in the end, I really am a hypocrite.

...

What is this meme
Is Chen a daily subject in these threads now?

So you hating on us, now?

...

[...], my name is Necron-Sama.

I’m a 27 year old Cadian Necron Immortal (Those of the Necrontyr who served in the military before the biotransfere

for you inferior races). I draw plans for new necron weapons and new types of scarabs on my tablet, and spend my

days perfecting my art and playing superior Necron games. (Punch the Eldar, Kick the Eldar, Destroy the Old Ones)

I train with my gauss blaster every day, this superior weapon can cut clean through Space Marine because it is

folded a thousand times, and is vastly superior to any other weapon in the galaxy. I earned my Immortal license two

years ago, and I have been getting better every day.

I speak Necrontyr fluently, both Hyrekh and the Kayra dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about

Necron history and their code of hate, which I follow 100%

When I get my flesh turned into necrodermis, I am moving to the nearest tomb world to attend a prestigious Necron

School of Killing Every race,especially Eldar to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become an

Lord or an Overlord!

I own several pieces of necron`s body, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to

the tomb world, so I can fit in easier. I bow to every machine and servitor and speak Necrontyr as often as I can,

but rarely does anyone manage to respond.

Wish me luck as a Necron!

Ill make sure I keep on herping.

Heading off to work now, see you soon.

I no longer put up with my being sleepy.My farewell with a little lewd,bye

I'm doing swell! It's nice to see you again.

That would be correct. The book is just as good if not, better! Parasyte, Tora-Dora. Know any other good ones I can pick out?

I'm glad we have similiar taste! I absolutely love Classical and Metal. Sometimes, jazz can help me calm down. I really don't like Country, Rap, Or Hip-Hop. Just not my taste.

That's unfortunate. Say, would you play with a fellow newbie like me sometime?

I'm not really a big computer person, it gets pretty complicated

Yeah, it's nice to see you again too...

Of course! I'd love too! I'm not familiar with how the social menus work but I'm sure we can figure it out easily enough.

>Gamindustri best cosplay girl claimed

I'm back~

Oh well, that's good, at least your going to school and got a place to stay that won't get you arrested

Yeh. And the reliable internet is fucking great. So good. I can catch up on all the animu I missed out on. Nearly 2 seasons worth of cute gir- I mean shonen shit to watch.

I knew what to expect, she did not

Cya bug eyes

Wgat tomako claimer is this?

...

hey now thats not true, you know im just teasing
i have no idea what you mean by this kek
im sorry could you explain my fried brain
huh i might actually pick it up then, would be something else to start reading again
oh those two are both fucking amazing, did you see the anime of both? i loved them
idk really. the akame ga kill manga is a lot better than the anime so maybe try reading that

The one who calls you out on not actually having a waifu.

>
Bye Yuuko >:
This isn't too bad. I don't really find myself looking for new bands much anymore sadly, so having new stuff brought to me is fantastic
See you later sweet, sleep well
People these days don't listen to classical much at all, it's quite sad. As for metal, there's something about it that I find oddly comforting/relaxing. I put that on when I'm on the bus and I nearly fall asleep.
The basis is pretty much the same. You just analyze the circuits and find the problem. We get into the repair portion of it as well.
A wild Shizu has appeared!

Hello, slave. How're you today?

Why are people hating on Chen again? Or just the usual meme

>cute gir- i mean shonen shit to watch
yeah waifu bai- i mean girls with lots of varying and unique personalities

your never teasing just being stupid and persistent
UPS cameras
How i can afford a nice phone

Its the usual Chen Is A Nigger meme.

I'm doing well, slave. Just got home. How are you?

Hello there! Had lasagna for lunch, you?

Great! By the way, do you have Discord? If you do, I can send you my League user on there.

Auf Wiedersehen!

I watched Toradora, haven't seen Parasyte yet. I'll see if I can pick up Akame ga kill, thanks!

I couldn't agree more. I listen to Metal when I want to wind down. It helps me enter a trance state which lets me forget all of my problems.

That's typically how repair goes
Maybe I should learn computers sometime soon

I'm pretty good. Just a little tired.

...

Exaaaaactly.

its always nigger chen meme

i want some lasagna

Hey there, Yuuki! What a treat to see you again!

Hi Yuuki ^^
How goes it?

>cute gir-
This is the best anime
Poor Chen :(
Nepu!
I wouldn't call it a trance, there's just something about it that I find relaxing. The lack of thinking might be what does it, since I listen to it rather loudly
As long as you don't put me out of a job ;o
Did you take a nap today? Naps can make you sleepier than before
>pets the Shizukitty-chan

Tats, are you here? I need some advice

Did you atleast warn her?
Hello Slave.
And other slave.

Yuuki! Always happy to see you around.

isnt it the opposite this thread
or is it all irony and am i retared
well the first thing is right, but i wouldnt really call me persisten.
maybe i am like this with a few people, you should take it as a compliment
>ups cameras
oh okay, well ofc you cant find them, that would be too easy
>how i can afford a nice phone
oh right,i didnt know mexicans swing the same as the Chinese
is it legit though?
oh really? i wonder what you think of the manga then. It actually reminds me a lot of tokyo ghoul
no problem, happy to help

>poor Chen :(
Oh, don't pity him. He wasn't bullied.
Is quite the opposite.

Not yet. Was thinking about doing that soon though.
Hello, slave.
This is fun.

Yes, I do
Notadesk#2307

I'll also try to use more hats.
It's the day we got reunited with the DDR. Still waiting for Ostpreußen though...

>perversion
You take that back! There is nothing impure about the pantsu!

How is the cute? How was school?
I forgot to put a comma, it should have been
>Why, are people hating on Chen again?
See above
If I ever force myself to nap, it's never for very long. Maybe an hour at the very most, then I can't sleep properly later on

I meant that he used to bully.

your obsesive
well at least the didn't come while i was gone
yes its legit, mexicans have nice shit and shit jobs because we either make our own shit or save up, its just other people who don't know how to save money that make it seem hard

so much variety in plot also like that one with kid with the black hair and with a harem

I-I just ate a couple eggs and a salad...

Hey Alice! What's up?

Eru!~ I'm good, trying to motivate myself to do homework lol. You?

Illya! What's up?

You mean the one that takes place in the high school, right?

That one's my favorite.

clmd

Alice, did you dieded in the class experiment?
It was a gud lasagna.
Diet?

Just got back from my date, it went gr8. Now I need to do homework too, kek.

i gotta hop off
gonna be productive and do some homework
later everyone
yea thats how i usually recognise you, its hilarious
oh really? thats pretty cool i didnt realise this.
im confused why the rest of euope doesnt talk about this holiday though
>Ostpreußen
they are just afraid to give it back
oh alright i see
that makes more sense i guess
i just like you mang
told you, you would have to be really unlucky if that was going to happen
thats pretty sweet, how much did you pay for it?

I think you got something mixed up boat.
Cant remember, fine i guess.
Same old boring stuff.
Troubles loging in?

Mind sharing a song you like? And yeah, trance wasn't the correct word there. You just enter a state of mine where you stop thinking about things.

A friend suggested I read it. I've been hearing it's a lot like Tokyo Ghoul. On the topic of Zodiac.. If you ever pick it up, tell me. I'd love to be reading buddies with you!

Making myself some scrambled eggs. What are you up to?

If only I were so fortunate

>AFK Food time!

Awh.. Later, Yun.

Checked and claimed

Miho claimed

>Hugs

I have an exam on Wednesday, and it's open book/note/internet, but I don't really know what's going on in the course so I should study. That's good to hear though! Friend from school I take it?

Ooh I love scrambled eggs, my university's dining hall serves them in the morning but they're awful lol. I got home not too long ago and I'm about to do some homework.

Yeah, naps can mess up your sleep.
Did i? My mistake, Master.
Hi Miho. How're you?
>

Currently studying for an upcoming test. Played through League's tutorial and a battle test game earlier. How has your day been?
Later Yuno!

My senpai from high school! She's really cool, we went on a date before this and now we're officially a thing. It was a nice lunch date this time and we played vidya at her house afterwards. We got some mofuggin Red Robin.
Gud shit.

Nice, I think they give you Ashe for the tutorial? She's my favorite. I messaged last night about rocket league but I think you went to bed or something. I had a few classes today, need to do some studying myself.

Heyo, even better! Congrats man! I've never had Red Robin I don't think.

I would tell you to have a nice life
But that's a lost cause

Mine is mine c:

Im doing ok-ish. You?

Nope, I just like to eat heatlhy~

yea that one, and the best girl is tsundere but he keeps getting into embarrasing situations so she misinterprets and hits him

i am jealous

ok i understand
thats true but i am unlucky
how ever much it was last year like 350-400, its a replacement since i lost my old one so its like 150 since i didn't have a replacement plan

How about yours?

>
Yeah, sorry. I passed out at some point and my computer auto restarted while I was asleep so I never even saw it. I'll probably be available tonight, nothing happens around here on Mondays.

>best girl
>tsundere
And you lost me. Kuudere is always best girl.

>Kuudere is always best girl.
good taste

Its pretty gud, they make great burgs ^^

top tier waifu
do stick around

Whoops, fucked up

I'm pretty good. Just a little tired.

He speaks the truth.

No
Why the hell would I warn her lmao

This slut willnever know what it's like to be a waifu

Swissen#4359

you lost me there, obviously the first introduced girl is always the best and most unique

...

...

Monicas.

Yeah I know. Post her tits.

>first girl introduced is childhood friend
>manga's 1st volume cover is childhood friend
>shitty tsundere still fucking wins
Every time.

Mine a cute

No worries, I was watching LoL when you first asked, but I'll be around later.

That's what I've heard, but there isn't one near me

>Yuuki

Good afternoon Saber

>Illya

Well met.

...

Much better.