TEXANS BUNKER THREAD

>The Pats won, but as a Pats fan I like the Texans a lot. I hope you guys do well, you've got the right parts, it's just a question of whether the pieces come together.
>You guys are 2-1 after what's probably your toughest game of the year. You're still the AFC South favorites, and you've got the

It's 3rd and long, how about a run play guys?

Don't panic- no one beats the Patriots.

too much ground game for no reason

wasting time outs on bullshit

jj watt is so gay lol he doesnt do shit

Belichick knew Texans have a shit special teams (see chiefs texans in the playoffs) then memed the fuck out of them

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3rd string QB for the Pats is the starter for 1/2 the teams on the nfl

Who will be replacing O'Brien next season?

lol good one

Meh playing against the Patriots is like playing against Gregor on any online game - you will never win.

good thing the Pats will have home field advantage this year

Can we all agree that Miller is better than Watt?

Brock absolutely sucks. I thank Lord Elway once an hour for not giving a truckload of money to this 7 ft pile of shit

not if they lose at Pittsburgh

All your buddies logged off to cry into their meemas bosom.

could've had it last year but we all know Brady can't play in the altitude. Look at his all time record vs Denver and against everybody else.

Run blocking. Pats successful and consistently stopped the run with 4 guys on the line. Decent pass blocking though, so the pieces and strength is there.

Just one game, they will figure it out and have a playoff shot. Look at it this way - pats lost to the fucking dolphins last year. Everyone has games where shit just doesn't come together.

yep was talking to my friend about this the other day

I'd take Von over JJ every single time

it's not a debate anymore

also
>quads confirm

the pats always shit the bed in road divisional games
losing to the fucking iggles at home is inexcusable

>using games from different teams that were played last year to somehow justify this year

lmao

Which they wont, They're 9-3 against Pitt in the Brady era, and one of the Ls was a Cassel Start.

Thats what Im saying, DEN/NE comes down to home field.

How much can we get for trading Watt? We need tight ends and linebackers asap

and how many of those wins were at Pittsburgh?

you also need a new QB, but fucked up and paid this one $72 million

player.radio.com/listen/station/sportsradio-610

So basically he's Kirk Cousins but just not as accurate. That's pretty bad cause even at Kirks lowest points he could still move the chains somewhat.

MY MAN

It's pretty common core knowledge that a Houston team will eventually fuck up a game really bad. Wether it's the Astros, Rockets or Texans. I mean hell, anyone remember the Oliers? Now that was a Houston team that made fucking things up a form of art. Tonight the Texans were just simply out gunned and out classed at every level. It's going to take some time for the Texans Offense to really gell as a team. But when they do. They will be awsome. But the old Olier curse will rear it's ugly head every now and then.

4-2 at Heinz Field

Charlie Weis

Bobby Petrino

the only team brissett would be a starter on is the browns and that's only because rgknee is injured again

The issue here is the Texans didn't score more points than the Patriots. I have never, in all my years watching the sport, seen a team win without scoring a single point. The solution is easy though, all they have to do is score more points. The more points the better.

>May May Twat has recorded 0 (zero) sacks in 4 games against New England

>Buncoes in New England

>and one of the Ls was a Cassel Start.
And two of the Ws were a Kordell Stewart Start.

You should be an NFL head coach

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7-2 is still a great record 2bqhwyf

Not fat enough but i'm working on it

burrs here. we'd take him

>the city of Houston

Yall just fucking suck

Osweiler is just awful, despite whatever numbers people put up.
His terrible decision-making made me scratch my head down to the skullcap. All the time in the world and he throws right outside the hands of his receivers or sends the ball right into a corner, turning his WRs into corners since they have to smack the ball out of their hands.
I wish Hopkins just socked him in the face for bailing him out from that ugly ass throw.

Remember all those threads and sports columns and radio shows when all those Texans stans talked about how great it was to be 3-0 4 days before the game even started? That may have had something to do with it. I know-maybe try to trade for Jacoby Bisset! I mean, how bad could he be?

i'll give you brisset

And a 1st round draft pick. Also an undisclosed amount of cash.

Maybe.

But it mostly confirms Brady DEFINITELY is.

I was most impressed by hopkins, dude caught the ball one handed on what most certainly should have been pass interference along with a few other spectacular grabs in double coverage. If you get a real QB in the draft, you guys could easily be potent.

We can't win in Foxborough. They fucked us in 2012 and they fucked us again this year. Let it go and move on.

HAHAHAHA

The passing numbers have been so average since he's been gone. Let Brisset or Grop (Bless him) lead the team back in the 4th quarter.

Brady is the GOAT because of the solid ice in his veins.

lel neither of these QBs has trailed yet. We'll need Brady for the difficult games

This means a playoff run is off the table. Maybe they'll win the wild card game. Maybe

Yes Mr. Quads man

What the fuck texass. You say every year will be your year, and I actually believed you this time, you looked pretty good. Then this. What did you even do?

texans have only beat pats once bruh (and pats probably should have rested more players but got a meme injury to welker but whatever)

cushing was THA MAN

youtube.com/watch?v=xSYXmFeeTPs

no, jj watt has had the best 5 year stretch of any defensive player ever, in the first 5 years of his career, guaranteed first round hall of famer based on play alone if he retired today.

>Discuss what went wrong

living in Houston, for one

>That flag
Stfu and stick to hockey you syrup sucking canuck.

I'm done
Fuck Houston sports, they have literally made me hate baseball and basketball but now I just hate football because the Texans can't and won't do jack shit. Fuck this shitty city

>didn't get across midfield until the end of the 3rd quarter
>wonders what went wrong

more like 4.5 ypc and 2td ayy lmao hes amazing

This terrifies and confuses Tom Brady

This is also where regular season game between Den and NE will be played this year

>Implying any other AFC besides the Broncos is on the Patriots' level

>toughest game of the year
>Pats fans are this delusional

Osweiler is straight up trash. Did the Texans even watch his film, because it was obvious he was shit last year. Weak arm. Poor footwork. Shit decision making. Zero leadership. Dumb as fuck. The touchdowns he's thrown have been just launching shit up in the air and hoping Hopkins (who is fucking awesome) comes down with it.

>brock osweiler
>seventy two millions in the official currency of the united states
>the texans of houston
>the year of our lord two thousand and sixteen

This is how bad teams stay bad.

Also, the guy is like 6'8" tall and I don't think there is another QB in the league who has this many batted down passes.

lol so your team has that big white defender and you took 27 pts?

Embarassing.

Texas got straight up bamboozled, 5D chess while they played checkers style

so damn #wavy

Kirk will be in the MVP discussion soon.

*injured third string QB

>without cushing

You mean since 2011?

Downright shameful that the Texans are the "best" team in their division and will probably go to the playoffs with a sub .500 record. AFC South is a fucking joke

We'll still beat b level teams like the bengals and the chiefs and have a decent record but after that we'll get embarassed

>implying the Texans won't be swept by a pissed off, neck-bearded troll from Indy

t. Ex-Texans """fan"""

I am shocked this many Texans have access to electricity.

I used to think this. Barely. But I'm pretty sure at this point that Watt just stat pads against the Titans and Jags. The rest of the time he'll make a meme play that doesn't really have an impact on the rest of the game because it comes on first or second down.

Watt disappeared against a shit --> mediocre offensive line that any other REAL pass rusher would have decimated (or at least had moderate success against).

Oh, and Clowney is overhyped. Go ahead, UT Gayman. Keep saying Clowney is elite. Even if he IS good, he's being misused in Houston. Any other team would have figured out how to maximize his talents rather than move him all over the place and ask him to do crap he's clearly not good at.

But I digress. Watt is a meme and will never be considered anywhere NEAR the greatest defensive player of all time. He never shows up when it matters most.

no watt

>9-7 the last two years
>sub-500

based fucking retarded Cred Forums at it again

Whoever decided Charles "le funny socks man" James should return a kick should be shot and mutilated (not necessarily in that order).

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The Texans will never be "awesome". God hates Houston.

hue

I want to personally assassinate Rick Smith for all the terrible decisions he's made.

>yfw you realize that the Texans (who had a ton of cap room and no notable free agents to sign, unlike Denver) only offered Osweiler 1.5 million a year more than what the Broncos were offering him

Alot of good it did them.