Jose Mourinho Appreciation Day 2

>b-but muh einsteins!

Extremely high quality post btw ameribro

25. Already alienated Luke Shaw after throwing him under the bus for the Watford loss, simply because he's still annoyed that the little shit rejected him when he was Chelsea boss

fucking kek, i forgot about Pedro is he still a "super" sub at Chelsea?

>win treble + eu supercup
>club begs you to stay
>leave for chelsea because you think you should be a starter and want to play for mouyes
>end up being a sub in chelsea, mouyes fired mid season, team almost relegated
>now with conte, no cl football, shit team, still a sub
I wonder what poodro thinks about his whole chelsea adventure

Will Leicester BTFO United?

>1. First manager to play Eto at right back

Litterally never happened. Why is this meme still alive 6 years later?

26.Wants to beat up an old man

>Mouyes will surpass Moyes within this season
Feels good man.

He looked so scared of that old man when they confronted.

a-a-any d-day now!!!!

If watford could do it

wenger would destroy mourinho desu. wenger is 6ft3 and still looks really active.

mouyes is a fat manlet.

Look and see: youtube.com/watch?v=9tRnYzonUJs

celebrity boxing match when?

Remember when Mourinho sold Mata and De Bruyne? and then he replaced them with Salah.

...

Then

all I see is a manlet getting manhandled by a literally autistic 70 year old.

27. Muh hardworking player babby

Remember when he patted himself on the pack for turning Hazard into a world class player and saying he will do the same to Oscar?

>oscar literally is worse than before
>hazshit is miles behind where he should be
Thanks Mou

Please stop guys, it's not funny!

>it's not funny!

Kek, Mou went full Monty Burns, based Wonga

28. Literally started a whole premier league season with a strikeforce of Ba, Eto'o and >Torres

29. First manager to play Eto at right back

...

>right after loaning lukapoo to everton
ayyyy lmouyes

He played left back

Who is being referred to in #2, 5, 8?

#5 is Casillas, I think.

>2
Zidane and Bale

>5
Luke Shaw

>8
Makalele

Kek nice try

>he ranks zidane

Hazard has looked like shit ever since Mourinho left Chelsea though. It took Fabregas to beat Leicester.

that's because Mouyes ruined him. Look at Ozil, it took him three years to resemble the fun chance creator we all loved at bremen

26. Get sacked from the same club twice, both after less than 3 seasons

>Felipe
It's Filipe, Americans get OUT

>Look at Ozil,
He achived his prime in his first 2 years at Madrid. He has been trashed at Arsenal

31. Get ragdolled about and bullied by a 64 year old man

30. first manager to get physically bullied by Arsene "soft like charmin" Wenger

wenger could keep mou at bay with his jab and wear him down, but mou would probably rush him and go for the eyes/balls.

both times right after winning the league, both times after completely fucking up the season in the first few months, both times after alienating the locker room

his prime was in Bremen. he couldn't even finish 90 minutes at Real Madrid

Sidenote: Is Bremen lowkey good at developing attacking midfielders? Ozil, Diego, Debruyne, they even made a shitter like Marko Marin look good for a couple years

32. first manager to snitch on his own team then go on a witchhunt for the "rat" in his squad after bad results

That's actually pretty clever if it was true.

>he couldn't even finish 90 minutes at Real Madrid
Because he played twice as many games than in Bremen. And Mourinho didnt even bother to rotate him

and he also fucked your mum hahahahaha

>6. Sold Romelu lukaku for pennies without inserting a buyback clause
As a >lifelong Everton fan it was not for pennies

For a young up and coming league proven striker it certainly was. You lads even got a full year to see he was worth the outlay for your club

Do you use Halotel?

How fucked is united?

Will chelsea ever recover?

Looks like Keanu.

>He has been trashed at Arsenal
Not really, he's been very good for them aside from a few blips, Arsenal just aren't very good.

But Keanu doesn't age

Great post.

I meant from that one pic.

Nobody is asking the real question.

How can such a special manager get fired from all but 3 of his jobs in the last 20 years? Is he a charlatán? Does he peddle Portuguese snake oil tactics to clubs?

Lets look at it objectively:
0. Pre-Porto (all young managers shop around until they build up their portfolio & get snagged by a bigger team)
1. Porto -> Chelsea (obvious since Chelsea offered much more money)
2. Chelsea -> Inter (No manager at Chelsea stays long term)
3. Inter -> Real (No manager at Real stays long term - can Zidane do it?)
4. Real -> Chelsea (Mou in meltdown mode)
5. Chelsea -> ManU (Mou just cashing it a paycheck- still staying in a hotel in Manchester instead of renting a house/condo)

But he's supposed to be the special one is he not? Special managers get to leave with their heads held high, not in shame with his tail between his legs like he has

When's the last time a manager has left Chelsea and Halal with head held high?

He did leave Inter on a high note though.

>with head held high?
Capello

>England
It's all for money and the team is shit but still.

>he zates ridane

this is a good post. effort, application, fine execution.

League titles since 2010-11

Mourinho: 2
Guardiola: 4
Conte: 3
Blanc: 3

even Alex Ferguson has won as many league titles as him this decade, and he retired 4 years ago.

he also hasn't won anything else in that time apart from 1 copa del rey and a literally worthless league cup.

zero appearances in european finals when Ancelotti, Klopp, Simeone, Guardiola, Emery all have several each.

he's an utter fraud

What is his endgame?

>emery
Not being good enough to get out of CL stages is not a reason to celebrate him

29. Killed Tito Villanova with an eye penetration cancer

Ruin united for years to come, because he is a huge liverpool fan.

Yeah, huge

Mourinho is 20 years younger.

but he's a fat manlet.

Special managers win trophies.

>"this decade"
>excludes the first year of this decade because it doesn't fit his argument

What did he mean by this?

>Parked the bus with the Chelsea bench
>Great low risk opportunity for Liverpool to showcase their attacking talent
He did everything he could until G-man slipped.

You're conveniently excluding 2010 and 2011 from this decade, I wonder why...

>2009 season
>this decade

...

>The Einsteins need money to live, they can’t coach, they can’t sit on the bench, they can’t win matches. They can speak, they can write, they can criticise the work of other people, but I am a good man. I am good man of goodwill. I do lots of charity, I help so many people, so why not also feed the Einsteins? That’s fine.

mou has lost it already. rant at FA and fine incoming after arsenal game.

shit I forgot he was united manager. haha. it's such a familiar scenario that I thought it was the past.

Has jose descended to Roberto Martinez level fraudulence yet?

...

Fucking kek

>14. Ruined Eden Hazard

I'll never forgive this fucking manlet for this, even if he won us >our first PL title.

HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE GREATEST PLAYER IN THE FUCKING WORLD WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU RUIN HIM YOU FAT FUCKING CUNT?! FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

FUCK SAKES NOW AIDEN AZZAR WILL GO TO MADRID AFTER HE REALISES ZIDANE WON'T MAKE HIM RUN LIKE FUCKING CONTE.

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Is this all a giant troll thread or do you all really believe Mourinho is a failure?

>HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE GREATEST PLAYER IN THE FUCKING WORLD WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU RUIN HIM YOU

Yeah, it's Mourinho's fault that Hazard got fat over the summer then played like shit

is mouyes finished?

But guys, what about that one time he took over a team that has been absolutely dominant in domestic play for two decades before he arrived and managed to beat Lyon, Deportivo and Monaco with them?

no im not, moron

Ah yes the European Giants of Monaco how formidable

31.Encourage your players to beat up underage ball boys

>beat up

I love how the story gets more and more exaggerated as time goes on. In 5 years people will be talking about the time that Hazard pulled an innocent boy from the stands and brutally beat him to death.

youtube.com/watch?v=sd38KUjmOho

The little shit was lying on top of the ball, so Hazard gave him a little kick to get him to roll over.

Salah is doing pretty well tho, when Mou gave him away to get Cuadrado, who di well when he gave him away... i start to see a pattern here

The pattern seems to be that the players were struggling and so Mourinho let them go rather than allow them to rot on the bench. Some players are just shit in certain systems/leagues. Except with De Bruyne and Lukaku, who were both obviously good enough but got sold anyway.

>boy

The kid was 17, too. When you hear people tell the story it's like he was a 10 year old. Not to mention that he tweeted before the game that he planned to waste time during the game.

>what was once the best manager in the world is now below mid-tier

what went wrong?

good manager with 2 great seasons in 16 years, nothing more nothing less

taking a job in an actual league that doesn't only have 2 teams

>taking a job in an actual league that doesn't only have 2 teams
His decadence started at Madrid. He dominated the EPLel for a while

When is Mouyes going to be the hero? The last time it was when he caused Gerald's slip and slide midfield extravaganza

Casillas and Romas ruined everything

this He used to be pretty good at RM then he lost himself
became super arrogant, lost his players which in turn fucked him over(most likely ramos and casillas) and then the """"""""""fans""""""""""""" also shit on him and ronaldo despite being the only ones doing shit on the team

And now it seems he loses his players in every team he goes to, chelsea last seasons and now man u seem to be fucking him too once again

No. Something went wrong with his mind. When I hear him speak, I don't see the old Mou. I see the self conscious Mou. He is a victim of his own mind games. Other managers don't need to answer to his mindgames anymore, he will dig is own grave and lay there waiting to die. Players don't respect him anymore. It wasn't always like this, though. Remember when players like Materazzi cried over Mourinho? When players would leave their blood and guts for Mourinho? What happened to all of this? Did Abramovich curse the lad? Or did he curse himself? Anyway, I miss the old Mourinho.

Ronaldo was the first on shitting on Mourinho because he tried to make him actually defend.

>lost his players
More like the Topor chose to implode the roaster because Mourinho benched him because he was playing like shit. He became way more skeptic after that and started doing purges in his next teams from the start. Casillas turned Mourinho into an skeptic lunatic that doesnt trust his players

Which is ironic since you see Ronaldo defending when it comes to important games.

>What happened to all of this?
He saw that he couldnt trust players after his last year in Madrid and starting going nuts against his own players because this.

>you see Ronaldo defending when it comes to important games.
When? Maybe just with Portugal.

why does spain always try to fuck us over

Those were the players he requested, so he either cant judge well players to chose the ones that fits his system or he cant change his system according tho the players. Both thing are a big fault

*Ramos

mourinho fucked up fielding adan? or some other shitter and fucking his team's captain and starting gk confidence. He literally destroyed one of his players and put his team like 10 points below first in the first half of the season

the irony is now it's mouyes the one who has lost his confidence, and his confidence was destroyed by his players. And since the results and games aren't going in his favour he can no longer pull the evil genius card and instead comes across as a bitter insecure paranoid

I'm 100% sure I saw him defend at the EURO and at the CL Final this year.

(Você)

Casillas was absolute shit that year.Making lots of mistakes. The GK trainers even picked Diego Lopez over him until Florentino shoved Casillas into the team almost costing a CL and costing a league.

>bringing a woman aboard your ship then personally casting her offin disgrace
>mouyes

I thought the moortugays were good sailors though

Nice argument you got there. Have a free (Usted) too.

>Mouyes unironically is worse than van laal

32. constantly gets tactically outclassed by Pep repeatedly

BUMP

NEVER DOUBT THE SPECIAL ONE AGAIN.

APOLOGIZE

4-1 EAT SHIT FAGGIT

...

>a happy customer

what if he put Mata on the left and pogba in the middle? also have as DM herrera and schneiderling

didn't watch the match
did mourinho put wayne rooney on the starting XI?

no, he took the einsteins advice

>First manager to play Eto at right back
I mean, I love a good shit on Jose thread, but he literally won the CL by doing this.

he took fellaini and rooney and suddendly they scored 4 goals in 20mins

When he took over Porto they had finished 3rd
In the CL run he beat Madrid and United too
The club he was at before relegation-tier and he made them finish 5th

>he beat Madrid
Monaco eliminated Madrid if I remember correctly