Relaxing at home on Cred Forums

>relaxing at home on Cred Forums
>hear rustling in another room
>see this
>"hey mister, do you wanna take me out for some ice cream?"
wat do?

take her out for some ice cream

you are scum

*unzips ice cream*

I hate you cunts so fucking much. I hope everyone who makes these pedo threads gets cancer and dies a slow fucking agonising death.

I'd give her some ice cream from the freezer then call the cops to find her parents

HOW DID YOU GET INTO MY HOUSE? GET OUT

*unzip wallet
*nothing in

you're worse than them

Who the fuck are you little cunt. Get the hell out of my property before i shoot you.

top kek

OP, serious question, are you actually attracted to little girls?

...

Can't pedos get autobans?

Can't redditors understand ban evasion?

no, that's germans
you mean permabans

Fuck that's sad

Pretty sure half of 'em are too stupid to do it.

Too soon user. Too soon.

Too soon

Anybody knows who is she?

Well the intruder has lost herself the element of stealth, probably hoping to somehow disarm me with surprise at finding someone in my house revealing themselves, however she's only alerted me to her presence. Her left hand could be holding any kind of weapon which is why she's chosen to conceal it behind the wall, so my first instinct would be to pin her right hand to the gyprock with the Bowie knife I have on my table. With that hand impaled straight through by the large chunk of steel she the has to try to reach awkwardly arm over arm to use whatever weapon she has in her other hand. However I wouldn't give her the chance. Once her little hand is skewered in place I'd grab her long, disadvantageous hair anduse it as a handle to smash her little nose into the door frame, breaking it, flooding her nasal cavities and throat with blood and blinding her eyes with automatic tears. Then I'd yank her around to pull her left arm out straight and then snap the elbow, making sure to jam the bone back up out through the inside skin for maximum effectiveness, causing her to drop the sickle she was holding in that hand intending to eviscerate me.

With the threat neutralized I then call the police and inform them of the intruder. She's given at least twenty years and never regains dexterity in either hand.

I laffd