"Yeah, I'd leave...

>Surrender like you frogs always do
BASED HYPOTHETICAL JONAH

>OP still being THIS mad

>he can't into the meme of the week

Yeah, so original

t. froggy

This reads like finding Jonah dreamt up while crying in the shower that night

>THAT'S what you should have said! Stupid, stupid, stupid!
>Sobs
> You're hot! People love you! You've proven yourself dramatically and you deserve to be taken seriously as an actor!
>Bites into a soaking wet Chicken Teriyaki Sub™

>he literally came back with "you too"
nice comedians you got there americans

Jonah represents the average burger.
Fat, hairy, not funny, can't handle bants.

Oh the butthurt on this board.
I love this woman more and moore every thread.

>Chicken Teriyaki Sub

I hate this. Chicken teriyaki should only be served with rice or noodles.

Like pouring sweet and sour sauce on mash potatoes.

Retort:
You are even worse candidate than a slightly disfigured muslim gentleman. How does this make you feel cuckboy?

The only semi-funny reply I have read in these threads was:

>"That's funny, normally I'm the one stuck sleeping with chicks that look like you"

>Like pouring sweet and sour sauce on mash potatoes.
I can't lie I would eat the shit out of this

What people don't realise is that Jonah is the average user.
A fat ugly loser who pretends to be witty and edgy but actually can't handle bants.
The whore is reddit. An ultra leftist SJW.
We must support /ourguy/s.

I think Implying someone is a grenade loses its sting when a)in the same breath you're saying you have to sleep with grenades and b) you're saying it to someone who is objectively gorgeous

Wow
You've managed to make me hate you and Jonah hill, two random strangers I will never meet, in a single retarded post

Some french news bimbo made a joke on live tv in front of him how her sexual fantasy involving him was him calling his friends DiCaprio and Brad Pitt and then going away

Is that really how you understood that comment?

No. You faggots are still trying to BTFO her.
The only comeback possible would be a self-deprecation joke. Something like "I wouldn't fit on the bed anyway."

>"Uhh.. that's a pretty weird thing to say but alright."
>Give her a funny look

There

Really there is no possible comeback from this. It's not even a joke. It's justa mean girl saying "I literally don't find you attractive"

That's why it's a meme. Jonah just got his pantd bulled down live on tv and there is nothing he could've done about it. No fame and money protect you from the fact that girls can treat you like trash if you're fat and ugly and get praised for doing so.

I don't see how else to understand it and still have it constitute a comeback

>it's a Jonah still has PTSD from his humiliation and write a comeback on Cred Forums in the middle of the night cuz he can't sleep episode

These threads are great. They're like someone decided to write down imaginary arguments they pretend to have in the shower and post them here.

What's the point? Are we eventually going to get to one that everyone universally agrees should have been the correct response and then tweet it at her and it will somehow retroactively save Jonah Hill from embarrassment? I bet Jonah Hill doesn't even care about this incident.

Is that why you fucks can't get over it?

If he earnestly replied he doesn't it funny and looked sad? The audience would be with him and the girl would feel pretty bad

Yes

Yeah, that would have worked. Funny, slightly self-deprecating.

All women are insecure about their looks, even the attractive ones.

>grenade

shut the fuck up

The joke is just the above you've said.
How is that so hard to get? There is no further point. The whole situation by itself is funny.

Nah these threads prove normalfags like you don't belong here because you can't into Cred Forums humor

These are both wrong. If he'd played up his hand in a way that didn't seem too serious and said something along the lines of "Oh what, you don't want all this?" while spreading his arms and acting like a Chad, not only would he have deflected the negativity without putting down the hostess, he'd also win the audience.

"Funny isn't it? Can I tell you why it's not funny though? If the roles were reversed and I was the attractive host and you the fat actress and made that joke, you all would've booed and called me a horrible person. It would immediately terminate my career as a tv host. So why do you think is funny?"

>*giggles* "uuuuuuhm... NO?!" *whole studio breaks out in laughter*

Here's what you do

>take out your wallet
>take out a 100 dollar bill from your wallet
>drop your pants
>wipe your 100 dollar bill
>throw your shitty 100 dollar bill at the whore
>walk away

Jonah should've just gone full REEEEEEEEEEEEE mode

Everyone is
I'm saying that it loses its sting when you're saying to an audience "i have to fuck ugly chicks and this chick is ugly!" When they can call see plain as day she's smoking hot and you're a literal sphere

You're retarded

these threads kill me

at least I'm not rich and famous so I can't know this pain

underrated

So fucking lame. Even for self-deprecation.

>laugh
>"thats kinda funny"

that's how you do it

Too much laughter to play it cool like that. Nope. No way. There were eyes of sorrow and ridicule for him all over the audience.

Can somebody edit Jonah Hill with a crying Wojack face?

This. Hate to admit it, but this.

>not using the 6 gorillion card

He fucked up

>"Your loss, Leo and Brad have nothing on my stroke-game"
Or something like that.

Nah, he should've just done this

>Can I watch?

Literally perfect comeback.

Literally wouldn't happen.

The joke would be over by then.

So burgers do have some shit in their pants at all times.

No, the perfect answer would've been: Funny, I have the same fantasy except YOU leave. ;^)

So we know what kinda cringey shit Jonah might have said as a comeback but what about things Leo might have said to HIM once he found out about this incident?

Bitch BTFO

he should have made a joke about beheading her and made light of recent terrorist attacks in France

>chuckle and nod
>'well, I've never been good at sharing.'

That's pretty bad because it leaves him in a perfect position for a fat joke.

You're obviously a reddit fag if that triggered you.

>one glance at you and they'd leave as well

/thread

The first good comeback I seen since the start

"kicking out the only guy in the room you'd have a chance with is a bad move"
Easy, simple, fun.

I WOULDA PUNCHED HER RIGHT IN THE FACE WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY ABOUT ME BITCH CUNT WHORE AND THEN I WOULD HAVE PUNCHED HER AGAIN THE GUARDS COULDN'T EVEN RESPOND FAST ENOUGH AS THE AUDIENCE WATCHES IN HORROR AS A LAY WASTE TO THIS PATHETIC EXCUSE OF LIFE ALSO KNOWN AS A WOMAN WHY DID YOU HAVE TO HURT MY FEELINGS THAT'S NOT COOL DUDE YOU FUCKED WITH THE WRONG HILL TODAY PEOPLE ARE STARTING TO TAKE ME SERIOUSLY AS AN ACTOR AND THEN I SPIT ON HER

This has to be samefag. Implying you're a queer
isn't a victory.

that would be pretty cool if he actually got away with it and scooted away on his rich jet and then the president of france calls jonah to apologize

Is she really dating some old sand nigger?

So she drools over white men like Leo and Brad but choses an old sand nigger?

Can white women get any worse?

You sound 12

what a wet blanket

He's a fellow comedian and TV host.

Not sure where you got the idea he was old.

Best comeback would be self deprecation
>Actually if filming on Wolf had taught me anything, you'll be the one leaving and we'll all have a good time

>mfw i'm rich and famous
>mfw a bunch of envious faggots on an imageboard waste their time discussing mundane aspects of my life.
>mfw these people will never experience a fraction of the things i've experienced.
>mfw I can literally do all the things they dream of doing, but will never do.

>What is humour

Were you thinking he should say "whatever bitch i fuck tonnes of hotties hotter than you" because there's no way any variation of that comes off as anything but sad

Nothing about that makes sense. There were no gay orgies in that movie. And that's not self-deprecation, it just sounds like he's trying to be more clever than he is.

Nah. The only proper response would be:
>is that funny to you? do you find it funny? cause i don't find that funny. you fucking whore

He should've just said, "What, you don't want all this? Just more of me to love."

HE MAD

>throwing 2 hotdogs down a hallway still won't fill it, you know

why would you do that?
what's so funny about that?
that's ridiculous
do you like making fun of people?
you like doing mean things to people?
no no don't run away
that's incredibly rude I'm here giving you an interview
you're a jerk

takes too much effort. I haven't got all day to wipe my ass

besides, it's hard to reach back there sometimes

>*Jonah slow clap while laughing and shaking his head*
>"Not bad toots, not bad... Ya got chops!"
>waterfalls everywhere

>Next time you need D-Day; we aint coming.

plays into americans thinking they helped in WW2

Very nice.

>retrospective comebacks

This shit proves Cred Forums is unironically Costanza.

The only way to play this would be to initially act upset and demand an apology, to see her struggle to react with that. Then burst out laughing in the middle of it, revealing it as a ruse. That way you've given her some pressure, but then revealed you aren't affected by what she said. Admittedly though you'd need to think that up in about 3 seconds.

The JERK store called! They're running out of you!

the more i find about you guys, the more i think your jerks.

is there a cringe pepe? I need it

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

>inb4 /thread

"That will have to stay a fantasy because Pitt and DiCaprio wouldn't look at you twice."

is objectively the only correct response from him

Holy shit fucking /thread

>"Oh so this is how the French treats guests. No wonder Islamic terrorists keep running over you people in trucks."

haha joke is on you. I am gay!

>pretend to be gay forever to hide embarrassment

>Worldwide condemnation of Jonah hill ensues as his career crumbles around him

Best response I've seen so far for however long we've been having these threads.

>haha okay, I can afford better girls anyway :)

this fucking thread every day, but not a single youtube link for the ones who don't care about celebshit beside Cred Forums

This is already getting old.

pretty good

right to the heart of the matter

gafemas

Well I've always been good at making girls cry desu.

Short and elegant, but brutal. I'd change islamic terrorists to muslims.

Holy fuck this is savage

Fuck off, normie.

Were you just born a little bitch?

still butthurt after 2 weeks: why Amerilards have such a thin skin kek

This is dumb and you should feel dumb for writing this autistic shitpile out

It has been DAYS since this shit went down and Cred Forums STILL can't come up with a non Spergy comeback
Lol

>americans in charge of dealing with banter

youtube.com/watch?v=Y90cC4qPgq4

Here you lazy fucking faggot. Now shut the fuck up

>You fucking skank ugly cuck bitch. I make more than you in a day than you make in a whole year. Leo and Brad make 50 times more than you. They would ask YOU to leave to get us some coffee because they'd mistake you for housekeeping.

>You are legitimate worm. Should I tell you why? I come on your show, fly to your country and you insult me to your audience in a language I don't understand. If you want this to be even why don't you come to america, come onto a set and see what I actually do, see how much money I earn for all the work I put in. But you won't, because I doubt you could afford a plane ticket, or you'd have to ask your boss for time off work. You see, my acting schedule lets me do fuck all for half the year, it lets me buy almost anything I want. But yeah, you still want me to leave ;). Bitch I wouldn't date you if you were the last woman on earth.

After he said all that, he'd stand up and proceed to shower the studio with money. He'd drop 100k right there because I could. He would laugh as the mongoloid stuido audience crawled around picking the money up. Then he would get his dick out and say the following:

>You cucks want to suck this? No? Well I will drop another 200k if you do. But no I won't do that, because you are all beneath me. Keep picking those bills up from the floor like pigeons fighting over bread crumbs. You might see Leo and Brad above me, and you're probably right about that. But look at you all. YOU'RE ALL BENEATH ME. How pathetic does that make you look? I'm outtttt.

Easy.

what's banter?

The only thing britsh '''''''''''''''comedy''''''''''''''' is. It's literally all they can do.

No wonder tv in bongland are full of american sitcomes. The comedy their own people create is terrible and needs to be halal approved.

This is not a meme, you can call it one if you wish but this is pure unadulterated butthurt because that girl rekt him and all beta boys.
Cred Forums has been fantasizing of coming up with a comeback and putting her in her place bit it just won't happen. She won.

BAZINGA

First time I actually see his hand.

10/10 weather lady btfo

I'd honestly just play it off and try to keep my cool as much as possible; just chuckle a bit an continue with the interview..and afterwards the bitch is done...id ruin her fucking life..im rich id hire people to stalk an threaten her..people to break into her house not to steal shit but just leave notes that say "im watching you" make sure she never felt safe anywhere again. hire someone to burn her bushes..knock groceries out of her hand when shes shopping..then hire an extremely good looking guy to seduce her and pretend to have a relationship with her for like a year..and then reveal he was just hired by me

Yeah, im a little bit crazy a little fuck-ed up you might say you dont mess with me

His reaction wasn't that bad though. He was like "wtf, kinda mean, but whatever".

Its a good comeback but take into account it has to go through an interpreter.

Does Jonah need an Australian Banter Coach? Preferably with a BH.D

I went to Nice and it was such a shithole, even the pedestrians were rundown :^)

Putain que tu viens de dire putain de moi, petite salope? Je vais vous faire connaître Je suis diplômé en haut de ma classe dans les Navy Seals, et je l'ai été impliqué dans de nombreux raids secrets sur Al-Quaeda, et j'ai plus de 300 tués confirmés. Je suis formé dans la guerre des gorilles et je suis le meilleur tireur d'élite dans les forces armées entières des États-Unis. Vous n'êtes rien pour moi, mais juste une autre cible. Je vais vous essuyez la baise avec précision les goûts qui n'a jamais été vu auparavant sur cette Terre, marquer mes mots putains. Vous pensez que vous pouvez tirer en disant que la merde me sur Internet? Détrompez-vous, baiseur. Comme nous parlons Je contacte mon réseau secret d'espions à travers les Etats-Unis et de votre adresse IP est en cours de tracé à l'heure actuelle afin de mieux vous préparer à la tempête, la mouche. La tempête qui efface la petite chose pathétique que vous appelez votre vie. Vous êtes putain morts, gamin. Je peux être partout, à tout moment, et je peux vous tuer plus de sept cents façons, et c'est juste avec mes mains nues. Non seulement je suis beaucoup entraîné dans le combat sans armes, mais j'avoir accès à tout l'arsenal du Corps des Marines des États-Unis et je vais l'utiliser à sa pleine mesure pour essuyer le cul misérable de la surface du continent, petite merde. Si seulement vous pouviez savoir ce châtiment impie votre petit commentaire "intelligent" était sur le point de faire tomber sur vous, peut-être que vous auriez tenu ta putain de langue. Mais on ne pouvait pas, vous ne l'a pas, et maintenant que vous payez le prix, vous Goddamn idiot. Je vais chier fureur sur vous et vous noyer en elle. Vous êtes putain morts, kiddo.

Jonah reacted upset alright

>Oh.

>Well, that's just like, your opinion, man.

That nigga hasn't seen his penis since Obama's first term. Cool life.

So can we all agree that what she said really doesn't qualify as "banter"? I'm interested to hear Cred Forums's views on this.

Total bantz. Ether to his blubbery soul.

Supposedly Jonah Hill is so witty that the stopped himself from getting mugged by doing an improv bit about it not being like being mugged in the movies

Where was his quick quips here?

I would have gone with

>"No way! Me too!"

when she got finished describing her fantasy

It was banter, in fact she used similar banter on a geeky scientist who understood her bantz and hit her with his own banter that left her speechless and rekt with her co-hosts laughing at her.
Jonah couldn't handle the bantz, neither could Cred Forums

>Turning vulgar because some random woman insults you
Kids stuff.

If only Jonah could handle the bantz like he handles Subway's NEW Rotisserie-Style Chicken Sandwich, which is made with tender, hand-pulled all white meat chicken, raised without antibiotics

To long and angsty.

should have said.
>Wow that's so similar to my fantasy involving you.

>well takes one to know one!

>Britain
>Full of American 'comedy'
Kek.
What channels have you been watching? E4?

...