Meanwhile on the enterprise-Cred Forums

Captain, I recommend a full spread of photon torpedoes.

...

Computer, create one million self aware holograms of Adolf Hitler

Computer, disengage safety protocols/

Why is the holodeck sticky?

>reddit?

For you

Now that the dust has settled can we all agree that the Type-6 shuttlecraft is the comfiest?

of we can't because the correct answer is the Danube Class

...

>It's a Cred Forums is a crewmember on the Enterprise epispode

I really love the design of the Enterprise D

Its a pity it got shafted in Generations

There was literally nothing wrong with this Romulan Ale

...

Thank you Broccoli

>molecular relay

rate xur body of work

Yes

People who say the first two series of TNG are shit are wrong.

W R O N G.

Daily reminder that neelix's daily cooking show was pure [pyoo r] foodkino

The first 2 of DS9 are a bit shit though.

>"Look, he's a nigger! He's a nigger! He's a nigger! 250 years ago we would have you hanging up in a tree!"

Woah...don't remember this being in here last time I watched it

I love TNG, but the first two seasons are rough. The uniforms are incredibly stupid, for one thing.

>new holosuite capeshit made over 273 bricks of gold pressed latinum

Cred Forums BTFO

At what, Worf?

Captain, there is an intruder on board. Recommend we detonate warp core and evacuate.

>I'm no longer interested in cooking.

>new holosuite has inter-species relationships

hmm...wonder who did this

federation

...

>meanwhile on the enterprise-Cred Forums...

"Enhance sector sector 5F of the transmission from Tauriuis V. I think ambassador Maoi is trying to signal us."

"What is it, sir? I can only see her feet."

"Exactly..."

>wow, you're an acting ensign in Starfleet? That must really pay well

Round here they call me the Crushinator

fuck off back to Enterprise-Cred Forums

Seriously hoping with the new TV show, we will start to get Star Trek games again.

rape gangs

Star Trek online is still going. And it's decent fun as well.

>Prime Directive

What did they mean by this?

and THIS ..such wasted potential.
>tfw we will never get a Mass Effect style Star Trek game
feels bad man

Bridge Crew is fucking amazing from what everyone is saying. It's supposed to be the best VR thing ever.

BIG
CARDASSIAN
COCK

Seriously, how do federation cucks even compete?

I always thought she was sexy af, does anyone know if that actress ever did porn?

why does he wear the mask?

Isn't it Kelvin timeline only? I want to pilot the enterprise-d or the defiant or something.

They have their good and bad, they're certainly not shit but there are some pretty shitty episodes.

yup and that's how they fucked up. If I wanted to experience the JJverse then I'd just go to the nearest Apple Store.

The timeline where they listen to the beastie boys in the distant future and drink 'Budweiser classic'? I'll pass.

There has always been a lot of potential for them to let the player explore challenging ideas. They can always punish the player later for not following the rules.

>Sorry, admiral. I really don't know how those torpedoes and generators could end up in the hands of the Maquis!

>drink 'Budweiser classic'
Wow, what fucking shameless shilling. When did that happen?

>Jadzia left DS9 because Berman used to abuse her for not having giant tits.

Legit true story.

You fools! Soon I'll squash you like redditors!

Is he our guy?

When new Kirk goes into the bar, I think the black woman orders it. I forget exactly but I remember it really pissing me off.

;- ;

...

memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Budweiser_Classic

Here ya go, it was actually in two films.

>The problems with my leaving were with Rick Berman. In my opinion, he’s just very misogynistic. He’d comment on your bra size not being voluptuous. His secretary had a 36C or something like that, and he would say something about “Well, you’re just, like, flat. Look at Christine over there. She has the perfect breasts right there.”

>According to Farrell, when her Deep Space Nine contract was expiring following the end of season six, she requested that she appear in fewer episodes, noting the sheer number of regular and recurring characters featured on the show, which would allow her to work fewer hours.

>Basically he was trying to bully me into saying yes. He was convinced that my cards were going to fold and I was going to sign up. He had [another] producer come up to me and say, “If you weren’t here, you know you’d be working at Kmart.” I was, like, “What the hell are you talking about? I had a career before this. Why the hell would I be working at Kmart? Who are you?”

fucking JJ

>Corporations in a post scarcity communist utopia

wut.

I could by the Nokia crap, because it was a vintage car, but actual corporations in Star Trek? The fuck?

bullshit because they replaced her with Ezri which cutiepie as she may be isn't particularly busty.

what did he mean by this?

Didn't Ira want her?

Why is that remotely surprising? The post-scarcity notion is absurd. There's still a scarcity for services, at least, and to build products like starships and space stations.

>Anouncement to all crew
>this is the captain speaking
>we've already has this talk
>but you lot need to stop cumming buckets in the holodeck
>the drainage system is clogged again
>holodeck privileges revoked for a month until the engineers can fix this cum problem

What an alpha, I bet they are friends now.

X-ray?

>it's a Geordie tries to get Dr. Brahms to have a three-way with him and his holodeck Dr. Brahms fuck puppet episode

>He only appears in 5 episodes in TNG
This was a fucking crime, he should have been a regular

>Dukat

Is it true the writers only made Dukat continually worse because they didn't like that fans cheered for him?

Not quite:
pornhub.com/video/search?search=ashley judd

>tfw this Star Trek series idea from 2006 never happened

trekmovie.com/2011/04/16/exclusive-details-excerpts-from-star-trek-federation-series-proposal/

Still... sexier with the trail of spots!

how come everytime I see a screenshot from an oldschool game, i sware it had better resolution at the time..

I would settle with the old games like armada being available again on steam and such.

Yes, I'm sure those classics have aged like wine.

It looks pretty neat when it's in full screen.

Yea they probably arnt great. But i loved them as a kid, would be a fun afternoon.

Bridge Commander is still fucking awesome too this day.

STO is basically Starfleet command though.

Two words: Reginald Barclay

All 5 eps must've been epic, 'cause 5 seems too low...

Because you probably saw it fulls creen on a crt monitor back then.

I would love an elite force 1 remastered..

>Computer, create a fully self-aware replica of Ensign Wesley Crusher.
>Computer, create 2,000 Worf holograms, enlarge their penii 30% and add extra barbs to the tip, and program them with the belief that only by violently sodomising Wesley Crusher for a minimum of eight hours will their family's honour be restored
>...
>Computer, freeze program.
>Hmmm, this is good, but it's still missing something.
>Computer, what is the current location of the real Wesley Crusher?
>[Wesley Crusher is currently in his quarters.]
>Perfect. Computer, lock on to Wesley Crusher's signal and perform a site to site transport to the middle of this room. Resume program and disengage safety protocols.
>Computer, send a visual-audio recording of the central area of this room in a priority one hail to all Federation starships, planets, and facilities possible.

Based Broccoli.

>Not all Romulan, Klingon, Cardassian, Borg, Jem'Hdar, and Vulcan vessels as well

Broc, you fucked up

>it's a mirror universe episode

...

Is he the Barclay of TOS?

C-C-Computer, u-u-using ship's sensor data run an audio and..uh..chemical analysis of Counsellor Troi's last fart.
>Analysis complete.
Using ship's medical records, create a facsimile of Counsellor Troi's gluteal region that fills one wall of the holodeck. Place one wooden chair facing it.
>Zwoooosh
Great, now reproduce the fart data you analysed earlier to scale and on a loop. Override safety protocols.
>Zwoooosh.....BRRRRAP.....BRRRRAP.....BRRRRAP
Access personal files Lieutenant Barclay and send file marked 'suicide note' to all senior bridge officers in approximately three hours.

Checked GOG? I wouldn't be at all surprised if they have a version available that works on modern machines.

jumping 600 years into the future like that is a bad idea.

like how do you even come up with tech like that on a massive scale that scales well with existing star trek tech?

Not sure about that, but early on he was a God-tier villain who drank his own kool-aid so well, he truly believed he was some hero for the Bajoran people that made their lives better...in slavery.

Season 6 and 7 though he just became a cartoonish supervillain.

Explain yourself further. If you mean that tech would be impossibly advanced by then, you could merely write that once humans caught up with the galactic standard level of tech then advances became a lot slower

>implying

A Section 31-esque tv show would be pretty good

Apparently, it's fucking moonshine to anyone but Romulans.

I love how she found his sex doll version of her, and yet he still finds a way to get the moral high ground in the argument.

Based Geordi.

tfw no empathic metamorph waifu

Every male in her immediate vicinity wanted to bone her within minutes to the extent where a bunch of lads in 10-forwards had to be told to stop by Worf

Riker barely escaped her room with only a kiss and had to immediately go to the holodeck to release the sexual frustration
>Computer, engage holodeck program Riker_Crazy_Sex_Party.holo

Yet Picard managed to go for days with extended periods of time in her presence (alone) and resist fucking her. He must have the self control of a god

have yet to successfully break through into bridge commander, after all these years...

Wait, why is he holding the script for the episode Suddenly Human if he's dressed for Best of Both Worlds? That episode was an entire season after BOBW.

You know Picard can't control his dick at all around Archeology girl though. He fucking nuts over a woman that explores ruins.

>tfw Picard truly is a supreme gentleman and appreciates all the finest aspects of life.

Glorious.

Do you know how they film tv shows?
The whole season's scripts are written ahead of time.

does anyone have a chair

...

Yeah but still, he was dressed for probably the first episode of season four, and reading the script for the fourth episode. I mean unless Patrick Stewart is just a fucking boss and has all his lines already memorized so he's reading ahead

boobs

>It's a 'miranda class starship get's rekt' scene

What did Rick Berman mean by this?

Do the Klingons, Romulans, Cardassians or anyone else follow anything similar to the Prime Directive?

Oh FFS those engagement ranges are complete bullshit. Not even trying to have believable tactics.

>it's another big battle with no shields episode

what did wharf mean by this, lads?

He became a main character on the last season of Voyager for no fucking reason at all

Why didnt they just have a Deanna or Beverly take care of her, or could she make women into lesbos?

>wharf

In the Dominion's very first episode, they showed us phased polaron beams which tear through shields as if they aren't even there.

So I guess in the real world they left out shield visual effects for budget reasons, but in-story they had been using shield-penetrating weapons for over three years already.

> Computer, generate 1000 self aware Lieutenant Tasha Yars
> Also generate 2000 Turkana-IV rape gangs, program them as if they haven't been able to rape anyone for days. Uhh, increase sexual urge by 200%

> Lt Barclay to Chief O'Brien, I might need you to transport some protein samples from holodeck 4, I'll be in touch shortly

> Oh, and computer, disengage safety protocols

...

>disengage safety protocols

Why this was even possible I'll never understand

these posts always crack me up

After reading this I have to wonder what it was like for the incredibly petite Nicole deBoer to take her place...

>Not even trying to have believable tactics.

Almost no sci-fi ever does. The trouble is, "believable" space combat is difficult to pull off on screen and still be entertaining.

They're conquering empires, their "prime directives" would be pretty much entirely the opposite of the Federation's.

Fucking perfect.

so Picard has a reason to shoot the fuck out of Borg drones

Shut up, Wesley.

Yeah, shits retarded. They should be able to shoot the crap out of each other even if they're so distant they can't be seen with the naked eye. The fact they's shown that they're able to fure at targets on the surface of planets is proof of that.

Working on set can be pretty fucking boring when they're not shooting your scenes. I imagine the writer gave him the script which had just been finished to get Patrick's thoughts on the episode.

When ships are far away then it's easier for them to dodge phasers and blow up torpedoes before they get too close.

Was it sociopathy?

>Not "Last time, on /trek/"

why do i find this shit funny?

The Recipe for Romulan Ale
>2 parts Blue Curacao
>1 part Clear Rum, no flavor or spice
>1/2 part Grain Alcohol
>1/2 Viso Will

This shit will kill me in one cup.

What? They make it clear that Picard fucked her.

>And so two years ago, our government signed a treaty with the Dominion. In it, the Dominion promised to extend Cardassia's influence throughout the Alpha Quadrant. In exchange, we pledged ourselves to join the war against the Federation and its allies. Cardassians have never been afraid of war. A fact we've proven time and again over these past two years. Seven million of our brave soldiers have given their lives to fulfill our part of the agreement. And what has the Dominion done in return? Nothing. We've gained no new territories. In fact, our influence throughout the quadrant has diminished. And to make matters worse, we're no longer masters in our own home. Travel anywhere in Cardassia and what do you find? Jem'Hadar, Vorta and now Breen. Instead of the invaders, we have become the invaded. Our allies have conquered us without firing a shot. Well, no longer. This morning, detachments of the Cardassian First, Third, and Ninth Orders attacked Dominion outposts on Rondac Three. This assault marks the first step toward the liberation of our homeland from the true oppressors of the Alpha Quadrant. I call upon Cardassians everywhere. Resist! Resist today. Resist tomorrow! Resist till the last Dominion soldier has been driven from our soil.

Don't listen to him! He's drunk!

I love how DS9 takes characters that were only meant to appear once and turns them into a GOAT supporting cast you look forward to seeing every episode.

For example, Weyoun was only written for "To the Death" in which he gets killed, but the writers loved Jeffrey Combs so much they brought him back for "Ties of Blood and Water" and came up with the idea of Vorta cloning.

You could still reasonably engage at ranges of 1-3 light seconds (1 light second is approx 299k-300k kilometers). It would also make disengaging from combat easier for both parties. There is literally no good reason but "muh both ships in same shot" bullshit.

>muh both ships in same shot
And that's all the reason they need.

>STOdeepspacebattle.webm

> tfw that part of season 4 where you think Dukat is going to become a begrudging good guy.
> tfw he does space fireworks for Sisko
> tfw he breaks the conditioning and keeps his daughter with him and loves her.
> tfw he becomes a 1 man klingon cranial cracking machine in a stolen bird of prey.
> tfw they fucked it all up with bajoran meme ghosts.

Why was S7 so shit bros?

K L I N G O N ' D

It adds literally nothing. BSG proved you can keep ships out of the same shot 90% of the time and make the battle dramatic through characters.

I loved Weyoun so much. Such a smarmy motherfucker.

Rick Berman had gone insane

They just replaced it with Viper combat.

Then they should have added attack fighters into a more predominate role in the show like they tried in the Dominion War (but put no named characters in the role of fighter pilot).

> Dukat will never lead the Cardassian Resistance against the Dominion.

Fucking Damar. The dude who shot Ziyal ends up the hero of Cardassia. It's almost been 2 decades and i'm still seething.

So much development for him wanting / leading a resistance, then they finally have a chance to set up EXACTLY that scenario and he joins them only to have a nervous breakdown. Fuck me. Almost 2 decades and i'm still seething.

>Computer, create a life-sized replica of Odo.
>Computer, create life-sized replicas of Captain Sisko, Chief O'Brien, General Martok, Commander Worf and Quark.
>Computer, program all replicas with an unending urge to fuck Odo in every orifice he can create for himself.
>Computer, run program for 480 hours upon my exit from the holodeck.
>Computer, record data and broadcast image to all known Dominion channels.
>... I'm forgetting something.
>Oh! Computer, disengage safety protocols.

One of Ira's few missteps.

They set up Dukat to become a part of the team and in the end they pulled that hocus-pocus shit out of their back pocket because it's easier than writing something more down to Earth that's cosmic in scope as they made the wormhole aliens seems.

Most DS9 fans dislike the ending, in part with how badly they handled Dukat's character and made it all about Sisko.

>Computer, Interior crocodile alligator, create a Chevrolet movie theater
What did he mean by this?

>perfectly fit the sterotype of a gay twink
>write him to have the most on screen charisma with a lizard dude
>play him off as straight and pair him with shittier Dax even though she rejected him the first time around in exchange for some 12 inch Klingon dick

What did they mean by this?

Computer, analyse these dubs.

Only even slightly amusing one yet.

Star Wars ruined Star Trek...

Asking the computer to create the interior of a Chevrolet-themed movie theater with the room's wallpaper in the skin of a hybrid Crocodile-Alligator.

Imagine they needed to solve a problem and they worked out how to do it, but they needed to use the holodeck to create the gysmo because it can't be replicated and their engines are broken.

If the computer can just say "No, that's not safe" with no way to get around it, everyone dies.

Early TNG had it that you needed 2 Command-level officers to do it (e.g. Descent 1), but I think it was that episode of Voyager where B'anana had a death wish removed that limitation because the plot demanded it.

I honestly think Terry is full of shit. I'm sure Rick Berman is a prick, but

1) Why didn't she tell anyone about this? It's not like there was some huge cabal of sexist assholes running the show.

2) If the comment about breast size is true, why did he have her replaced with Ezri? He was one of the show runners, he could have gotten any bimbo he wanted.

3) Why wait until your acting career is in the shitter and you realize that Star Trek was the best thing you had going for you before you pulled a Denise Crosby to come out with all of this? Seems awfully convenient.

That can be very easily handwaved away by the fact that as chief engineer, it should be well within her abilities to disable the safety protocols without the need of a second officer.

I'm pretty sure they were disabling safety protocols individually well before that though.

FUCK. YOU. GET YOUR UNDERAGE GENERAL BULLSHIT OUT OF HERE GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I'm fine with this being in fiction because literally nobody in real life would drink this.

I'd give that a try. Probable make me go blind though

I did like how Dukat completely brainwashed and then fucked Kai Winn.

But yeah, it was a pretty shitty way overall to end a great character.

He was the only one who used the holodeck as it was supposed to.

In the kinky way

"RIKER YOU'RE FULL OF HOT AIR!"

The federation are cucks, they lose every single military confontation
in the 2009 movie they send the whole fleet and gets annihilated by a mining ship, a fucking mining ship

>Warning: attempting to access impulse flow regulators while engines are engaged is not recommended
>Mufuggah, tell me someting I don't know
>Warp plasma cannot melt Tritanium beams, USS Odyssey was an inside job
Who programmed the Federation computers anyway, Sam Raimi-Sing?

What is this, a picture for Owls?

Do you think TOS would have gotten better if we actually had the full 5 seasons like the 5 year voyage implies, or would it just gotten worse from the 3rd season onwards?

Goddamn she is hot

>he's a bad guy

I've said it on other boards, but the difference between Spock's Brain (considered by many the worst TOS episode) and Threshold is that Spocks brain is just silly shit. Threshold on the other hand insults your intelligence. Then you have the king of bad Trek. Dear Doctor which displays genocide as a good thing under a veil of bad science only Dr Mengele would be proud of.

The plateau of flintlocks in a way?

>Why didn't she tell anyone about this? It's not like there was some huge cabal of sexist assholes running the show.

Berman was the top dog at the Star Trek office for many years, from the time (as Marina Sirtis put it) he pried the torch from Roddenberry's still-warm hands until he stepped down a few years after Enterprise went off the air. While, ostensibly, she could go to whatever their equivalent of human resources was and file a complaint, and while, ostensibly, she would be protected from retribution for doing so, in practice it's very difficult to take on THE boss, the guy your own bosses report to. It's why women who worked at Fox News didn't take on Roger Ailes until they weren't working for him anymore.

>why did he have her replaced with Ezri? He was one of the show runners

Berman wasn't an active showrunner on DS9 (which was handled by Ron Moore, Ira Behr & the late Michael Pillar), he just ran the overall Star Trek franchise, and his personal focus was usually on TNG & Voyager. It's entirely possible he made comments about Nicole deBoer as well and she just hasn't spoken up about it.

>3) Why wait until your acting career is in the shitter...to come out with all of this?

Because hindsight, as they say, is 20/20.

>from the time (as Marina Sirtis put it) he pried the torch from Roddenberry's still-warm hands

In fairness, Roddenberry was basically losing it at that point. The drug cocktails were taking a toll on his mind, and he had a serious problem of "only I know what's best for Star Trek" which is why the first 2 seasons of TNG were the way they were.

He's Gene, right? I mean it's not just me?

>can't keep their hands off women
>have drinking problems
>are great visionaries in their field
>motivation for said vision was primarily money and pussy
>are both really tall (this one was probably just a coincidence)
>despite all that, history has elevated them to bring almost deified for what they created

Was his character in First Contact some kind of Star Trek meta commentary on Roddenberry, or something unintentional from years of working with him? Because had Gene still been alive when the movie came out, he probably would've noticed the similarities. Or maybe not, he was doing some serious drugs in his later years.

Well the message of his character is "Don't try to be a great man. Just be a man, and let history make its own judgements."

At least he was a well acted cartoon villain.

Berman said he only noticed the similarities in hindsight and Zefram was never intentionally supposed to be like Roddenberry. He's just the unlikely hero archetype.

My favourite bit was when Zephram copyrighted his lyrics to Ooby Dooby and got royalty payments whenever it was played in honor of First Contact

TRANSPORTER PSYCHOSIS.

Why do you ask?

No reason

There was also that episode of Voyager where Tuvok used it to have sex with an image of his wife when he'd go into that Pon Farr thing.

Anyone else think an episode where they actually use the holodeck to play videogames instead of re-enact fucking Sherlock Holmes would be worth watching?

Imagine playing Mario, or Zelda, or Elder Scrolls on a holodeck. Or hell imagine playing D&D on it.

A FERENGI WILL RAPE YOU TO DEATH BUT NOT IF YOU REPLY

THANK YOU BROCCOLI

>3) Why wait until your acting career is in the shitter and you realize that Star Trek was the best thing you had going for you before you pulled a Denise Crosby to come out with all of this? Seems awfully convenient.

She got Becker soon after.

It lasted for years.

I just remember Paris Captain Proton!(?) best part of voyager. And how he talked about his F1 simulator

And Bashir and O'Brien talking about flying spitfires, wearing full flight gear and drinking bitter in quarks. Thats what i want to do!

I somehow think there is a better, more viable and efficient economic model than the one adopted by Starfleet....

Na, I'm crazy. People naturally want to work all day.

Status: Impressive.

> Lt Barclay to Chief O'Brien, I might need you to transport some protein samples from holodeck 4

That's actually a question about the ships in Star Trek I have. Does the ship's system basically "teleport" or "dematerialise" any type of dust, including dead skin cells? They have cats running around, so they presumably dematerialise feces and piss out of the carpets.

So is Barclay collecting the semen he expels in the Holodeck for entry into his piss bottles?

>zap materials into consumers' fat fucking faces out of thin air
>everything that can't be zapped into existence out of nothing is owned by a communist government
>the entire government is built around a quasi-military organisation that sends the best and brightest out to find planets to plonk the ever-expanding population of the worthless consumers on Earth onto

Nah, the Klingons did nothing wrong.

Kek

I'd watch the hell out of an episode where Paris plays Starfox or something similar.

From what I've heard, society outside of Starfleet is pretty chill with every basic necessity provided for free.

Housing, clothes, food, health care. It's all free because most of your paycheck is taxed out the wazoo.

It's luxury items like fancy clothes and shit that you have to actually work for.

Which is fine with me. I mean I'd gladly give up 90% of my paycheck if it meant I didn't have to pay for 90% of my living expenses.

>st augustine
hes HERE

>Which is fine with me. I mean I'd gladly give up 90% of my paycheck if it meant I didn't have to pay for 90% of my living expenses.
Now I don't want to turn this into a discussion about politics and ruin this thread because a lot of people are enjoying it, I just will put in my two cents. If 90% of all my pay check was taxed and I got basic housing and food and shit for free, I would quit my job instantly and make you fags putting your life on the line while exploring SPESS pay for all my shit.

Which is why communism and socialism fail every time. People are lazy faggots at heart.

He has that gay moment with O'Brien in Sloans mind

He's not gay, he's British. It's a common mistake.

not cheer, but were sympathetic to him.

it was a pretty dumb move to turn him into a comic book villain for that reason imo

>Allah save the queen

Picard doesn't come of as camp. Bashir very much does.

Bashir was genetically enhanced anyway so it would've gotten rid of any degenerate traits such as homosexuality.

>British
>Paki
m8....

half brit half muzzie

Both his parents were Pakis too

Right, i forgot his dad was a raghead too despite being named Richard
Well in real life he has some brit in him because his uncle is Malcom McDowell

Right, I forgot we live in the demon dimension and names determine reality

Check out my new car btw

What about that doesn't add up in your head?

i love you

Just watched this episode, it was shit. Started with barely a plot and Kira, ended the same way.

Based Rick Johnson.

>Shran spinoff never