What do you watch when you can't fall asleep?

2001 A space odyssey

I call next door to see if her husband's home, then go fuck the shit out of my neighbor's wife

It's probably wrong but she has a great ass and is attractive, not to mention she lets me bust inside

lotr

Six feet under or mad men. That shit is so boring I conk out in no time

i've never been able to fall asleep watching tv. probably because i've never had cable and it would feel contrived to just have netflix going i guess. i like the idea of it though

>wanting some married dude's busted sloppy seconds

Can't get anymore cucked than that

Ncis Los Angeles

I highly recommend it. You make it halfway through an episode and zzz. Then at the end of the other half next night u are out as well.

Totalbiscuit

Oh, and their child is actually mine but he doesn't know

question time
bbc news live
history documentaries

This, my room is pitch black at night

I don't know this feel because I can always sleep

The new Cosmos with black scientist guy. Puts me to sleep every time. No loud music out of nowhere and the lead fella has a pretty soothing voice.

Porn. Seriously.

browse /x/

>How It's Made
Would be perfect if it wasn't for the opening/ending music that wakes me up every damn time.

Porn, for fapping purposes.

One of the BBC documentaries narrated by David Attneborough. His voice and passion keeps me just barely over the threshold of interested, but I can switch off at any point.

I mostly only watch movies to fall asleep to, or if not south park where the gags are more audio based.

If TCM is airing anything pre-1960s for the next few hours, thats always nice to fall asleep to.

Mostly zapping with what's on TV.

Sitcoms, many times: Mad About You or Will & Grace.

nothing, idk why you'd do that since if you leave something on it'll just wake you up

If I can't fall sleep I lie in bed on clover browsing Cred Forums discussing capeshit.

ARIA. Pure serenity.

OJ, Made in America, episodes 1 and 2

there's something comfy about a pre-murder backstory and old football footage.

Harsh Times

Wow you're so edgy

Watch myself lose my own mind while I slowly but surely descend into a madness that I will never cry out for help for even though I know i need to

You just did, friend.

I just take some melatonin and close my eyes

I used to be the same desu senpai.

Then I discovered alcohol helps you to sleep so I can fall asleep to a movie almost every night.

send help

I usually just put on an LP and fall asleep to that plus my fan on max setting

...

"funny house of commons moments"

Top gear specials

A few weekends ago I took mushrooms alone in my house and screamed as a way to find relief in face of such a strong sensation. Screaming is cathartic, give it a try

penis massage vids usually hegre art

>alcohol

The ultimate pleb drug.

nigga read a book

X-files
Twilight Zone
Most Star Treks are super comfy.

TOS knocks me out. Even when the music is dramatic it never gets too loud and is just all around comfy.

...

You can't fall asleep reading a book, idiot.

they're too retarded, they just end up annoying me

the fuck you cant, im asleep right now and i just read a book

you actually can

Sounds that never get too loud is comfy 101. Old movies with that "intercontinental" accent like Cary Grant or Audrey Hepburn are perfect for this audio profile.

...

>put sit-com on to watch while falling asleep
>fall asleep
>wake up feeling completely refreshed
>same episode is still playing
>wind back to last bit you remember before sleeping
>only 3 minutes passed

Movies. I can't even begin to tell you how many movies I've never seen the end of. If I make it halfway, that's good.

Anything starring benedict cumberbuvck.

I usually just put on a podcast or radio show

Reviewbrah. He's so boring but I mean that in the best way possible.

le monke

such as?

The hardest part of drying out is learning to fall asleep again. When the alcohol did if for you, you can just flop into bed and that's it. All those nights staring at the ceiling thinking about how much easier it'd be with a few drinks were the worst. What really helped me was audio books. It might not work for you but it worked for me. Just had to keep my mind occupied and not thinking about trying to sleep.

Bennington
Bill Burr
Nick dip
the bonfire
my wife hates me

so stuff this guy uploads youtube.com/user/StrayFromTheMorale

the stuff on anthony cumia's website, too

I always go to sleep listening to my two best friends talk about movies

This

They are boring in a bad way

>watching any capeshit

so you just sit there and stare at her taint?

This seems counter intuitive

You should probably kill yourself if you get the opportunity

This is the only fucker that gets its. Especially futurama

Seems legit

Good

>2016
still paying for tv

Excellent choices

My Nigga

Why lie on the internet? Its not even like this is bait to get replies, it's just a retarded blog post.

mythbusters. my dvr is just full of old episodes i watch over and over

>The mass reply/rate guy

I wish I could strangle you and every person like you.

Conspiracy theory documentaries.

Check out Misery Loves Company. It's on riotcast, the same as Nick dip. So fucking funny.

I watch my imagination of me being a director and making my movie ideas come to life, so I can have people watch them, and tell me how surprisingly good it was and congratulate me on it. I also imagine taking interviews for my movies and being a super down to earth guy with the interviewer and be humble and shy when talking about my awesome movie, and become a adored internet star and have endless threads on Cred Forums about how "kino" my movie was and make dank memes about them. And by the end of this imagination trip I would winning an Oscar and saying my acceptance speech.

This is when I eventually fall asleep and have dreams of being a complete disappoint to my friends, family and teachers for dropping out of school, by dreaming about myself confronting everyone when I go to school and seeing how successful and happy they are, and not remembering me and being disgusted by me.

Then I wake up, cry to myself, and start my grueling morning exercise routine to train for joining the army, because I have no more ambition to get into film. And being a NEET has finally taken a toll on me and I need to get out and occupy myself again.

wew

>and become a adored internet star and have endless threads on Cred Forums about how "kino" my movie was and make dank memes about them.

So I'm not the only one that dreams about this. I feel sad now

>grueling morning exercise

Care to share what's the said exercise?

End of Evangelion

whenever I have this fantasy I cant help but admit Cred Forums would be insulting it constantly

I don't. I read. Or I do some cardio.

twitch.tv

Cardio, lifting light weights and practicing the exercise assessment for getting into the aus defence/army. I'm a fat neet and trying to cut, and this is really difficult for me because I've never worked out in my life. Lucky I got a friend who is helping me though.

Also I have know idea what those terms for working out are, I'm just following what my friend is saying.

Generation Kill
I can't fall asleep without mad bantz in the background

same

i used to sleep with the tv on all the time in like 7th grade, it was usually

>How It's Made
>Curling
>1000 Ways To Die
>Dog The Bounty Hunter
>Gene Simmons Family Jewels
>Life With Derek
>Katie And Orbie

yes i'm a leaf

you're well on your way, doing better than most of us here already.

don't give up.

Thanks mate

Well if you got a friend who's competent with that stuff, you should be fine, but going to /fit/ just for the sticky is a great way to "motivate" yourself and learn some basics.

How about your, no doubt, bad eating habits, working on that?

I'm 6 months into the "healtheir" life style and I gotta say, changing my eating habits was way easier then forcing myself to go to the gym 5 times a week

Futurama or a Brian Cox/attenborough documentary

Brooklyn nine nine. When I finish streaming, I realize how empty the universe of my life is, and all the black screen of the tv accurately shows that.

>tfw exact opposite

A silent room with nothing but the tick tock of a clock keeps me up, hate staying at my parents house because of this

David Attenborough documentaries with the sound at a level where I can still hear it but it doesn't prevent me from dozing.

I do the same whenever I'm sick with a fever. It's golden.

>T. hardcore kush smoker who injects entire blunts

Yeah I've been looking that up recently, I'm not eating anything to heavy lately and I don't have a eating schedule like everyone else, I just eat when I'm hungry. But I think now I might start that time table with eating dinner at 7pm not at 12 noon.

Thanks for the advice user, much appreciated man.

>AVGN
>Documentaries
>in general movies similar to nostalgic ones Nostalgia critic reviews but not said reviews

Carl Sagan's Cosmos.

MST3K is my main go-to. Sometimes Columbo or Star Trek. I also like to relisten to episodes of the podcast You Must Remember This.

There's a cable channel called NHK World, usually shows short Japanese docs and nature shows (fav is "Inspiring Landscapes") with english voice overs.

Economy news.

NHK is so comfy

I usually just park it on adult swim or IFC

you can stream it on their site too, my dad watches it all the time cause he adores japs
his face is gold when they show all those akihabara segments where some amerifat or some yuro goes and buys anime related crap

...

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why though?

You mad?

Why?

Explain yourself.

Why?

I'm genuinely thinking of getting into star trek just to help me fall asleep.

comfiest. the white people on the channel are very cringey though...this man makes me very uncomfortable.

www3.nhk.or.jp/nhkworld/en/tv/ukiyoe/

Stargate sg1 literally only ever watch it when I'm utterly fucked cause it reminds me of being young

Bob Ross

Happy to help lad, as someome who managed to go down 30 kilos in 6 months, I gotta admit, all that shit about feeling better when you lose that weight is actually mostly true, more so in the head than in the body in my expierience, but still.

Just keep at it, injest the knowledge slowly ( I founds all the stuff extremely intimidating at first but, damn, /fit/ really has a great sticky ), work on better eating slowly and when the moments of doubt come, remember it's not about motivation, but discipline

You can do it

...

What are some good podcasts to listen to when trying to go to sleep bros?

I've listened to all Carlin's Hardcore History, which is great to fall asleep to, and a bunch of In Our Time. Anything like that, especially history oriented, would be fantastic. Had trouble finding more. Found a hist. podcast from some channel in Minn or Wisc but it's like 12 minute episodes. way too short.

Star Trek (original series, animated, the next generation)
Simpsons (S01-09)
Futurama (S01-04)
Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Squidbillies
Harvey Birdman
Space Ghost Coast to Coast
Looney Tunes
Peanuts
The Littlest Hobo
Monty Python

I need to stop getting high before I sleep.

i have an app on my tablet called mobdro and i just search for shows / movies watch the channels that come with the app.

can watch GoT breaking bad, LOTR, die hard. whatever. its comfy and i don't care if you don't like what i like

Secret of Kells does it for me, good music, ok singing moment and visually nice to look at, gets me sleepy fast.
That or Hot Fuzz and Dog House does it for me if nothing important the next day

This

no lights

usually hardcore history podcasts

Same on MST3K with me. Which makes trying to watch an episode when I actually want to watch it difficult. I kept falling asleep during The Deadly Mantis and late into the episode Crow say "Hey! Wake up!", which would wake me up. I still have no idea the context to that line.

If not MST3K then old black and white horror movies are great. There's also a local scifi/horror host show on local tv that's good to sleep to.

Best of the Worst

Rich Evans's laugh haunts my dreams

Blade Runner. It's so boring I've never finished it. Definitely napkino.

TNG is my go to. Soooo commfffyyy

>t. cuck

>ST:TNG
>X-Files

Good comfy choices desu but my go to is Joel Mst3k episodes on Hulu

I fall asleep to infowars after every drunken wasted day of my life. AJ's got a soothing voice, but the shit is repetitive as fuck so it doesn't really captivate you enough to keep you up after the first half-hour or so.

Jones, Bill Burr's podcasts and Michael Savage's show are essentially all more or less the same; kill the lights, pop a pill or two, and let some distinct, familiar, somewhat humorous voices drone on about shit, and you'll be out inside of an hour.

Literally do something awesome

I think about how I would hang myself

iktfb

i've even got a pretty swell life. depression is a sonuvabitch

Gilmore Girls
Veronica Mars
Kamen Rider Fourze

aye me too

I used to imagine myself giving contentious interviews over the controversial content of my books and what their popularity says about the anger and hatred boiling over in America with Rolling Stone or Forbes or Playboy or GQ.

They try to dislike me at first, but my charm, intellect, and perfectly reasonable arguments eventually gets them to the point where their vicious ambush hit pieces on me become grudgingly respectful pieces that their editors end up rejecting.

If it makes you feel any better, user, once you hit your late 30s/early 40s, those dreams are completely dead after you realized that you've wasted your life, and if it hasn't happened by now, it never will.

Once you reach that point, you realize that the death of all your silly little aspirations and the reality of your hopeless situaton and how worthless your entire existence is, you'll be able to sleep like a fucking baby. In fact, you will likely be eager to close your eyes at the end of the day, and become to resent every morning you wake up and realize you're still you.

Black and white old shows.

50s sci fi movies from youtube

90s discovery channel shows about military equipment like airplanes and tanks

this show is cool

it looks like they just filmed everything in the directors backyard

I've made my own edit of the Stargate Atlantis episode "The Last Man" that mostly contains just the scenes with Shepard and the McKay hologram.

The episode starts with Shepard transporting accidentally 48,000 years into the future after Atlantis is being reclaimed by sand and dust. It's an intensely quiet and lonely scene. He is essentially by himself the whole episode.

It really takes my mind away from anything I'm thinking about, as I imagine what the world would be like 48,000 years from now and what I would possibly do if I were suddenly transported there.

Before I made that custom edit I would watch the Voyager episode "Course Oblivion" which would help me imagine that I wasn't actually myself and all the concerns I had were not actually mine.

Edit that shit out.

Don't let perfection stand so close to you when you can get it.

A black and white movie usually. Not because they're bad or boring, but they're usually comforting (depending on which one you pick, but a lot of them). Helps to drown out whatever is keeping me up.

japanese horror. I don't speak japanese, so I have to read subtitles, which requires a bit of focus. horror is generally slower paced, especially in japanese horror. 20 minutes in and I can barely keep awake, or aware enough to turn off my tv. if I doze off a bit, I rarely feel like I missed something. really heightens the experience.

but that's been my routine these past months. had to adjust my sleep schedule for work reasons.

also, wine and melatonin

MST3K. Cozy, fun, laid back, bro-ish. Great choice.

Soderberg's Solaris is literally the boringest movie ever made. Literally rainy mood: The movie.

GOAT sleepcore

so many fucking people get raped and then murdered on that show

bob ross

nature documentaries

historical documentaries

travel network/HGTV

Harry Potter films.
I have fallen asleep during every one and haven't watched one all the way through.

doctor who
early seasons can be real easy to snooze to