*record scratch*

You gotta be pretty fucking dumb to fall into a wood chipper

Nah just needs a rest for a few days.

Hell be fine

Why? Even if he doesn't have the lower part of his body, if he's able to go on living he could live a similar life to most people on this board.

Fuck I want some sausages now

yeak, he would make a great shitposter

I'm an arborist and honest to god this dude was probably doing something pants-on-head retarded like trying to kick wood into the chipper. Also if my foot ever got pulled into the chipper I'd just let it take me because by the time you get to the last chance cables to stop it you're looking like homie here

Yeah, he doesn't even have a dick to jerk off. Fuck that. I love masturbation too much

Good thing that woodchipper arrived, else he would never have known about the giant worm in his stomach.

you dont fall into it. you get pulled in when (stupidly) forcing a stuck log in with your foot.

Well if he survived the shock of his legs getting pulverized, he'll probably survive in the long run

I really want sausages now.

it's not so bad

Poor guy.

what's the fucking point?
>no dick
>have to eat Robocop style mush your entire life
>not a contributing member to society
>burden to everyone and everything

so it's basically like being a woman, except for the diet

>mfw reverse image search

>your whole body is just a life sustaining system for your head
If they manage to feed your brain you can go without a body altogether

Name?

Imagine being a doctor and being presented to this. Where do you even start?

I hate it when this happens

>Half Naked Girls
>Half

Fuck that, next time i see a woodchipper, I'm booking it in the opposite direction.

Looks like they're in cartel land.

Shit like this happens 5 times a shift.

I'm gonna grab you and throw you in it

Like crank 2 lmao

Is that really you? What happened? I know it probably isn't you. Either way I'm sorry

...

I WILL FEAST ON YOUR FLESH

Futurama did it first.
Your idea is not original.
put the fucking joint down, hippie

I'm gonna need a lot of vodka for this.

if I pull those sausages off would he die?

>not a contributing member to society
some works can be performed by seating in front of a desk all day.

Not if I throw you in first!

>Is that really you?
no
>What happened?
He was 12 years old when a stray bullett (due to an unknown person nearby not practicing proper gun safety) pierced his body resulting in himself being paralyzed from waist down. Countless operations and reoccurring Osteomyelitis, and the result of being hit by a car while in his wheelchair, resulted in the final decision of the hemicorporectomy. This was to save his life!!
youtube.com/watch?v=n8QtxIaTTpc

pretty sure he's dead now

Did he jump in a woodchipper? Why?

wtf is your problem?

...

It would extremely delicious

Literally how did he survive?

>no dick
Just kill me

You're a seasoned meat

no it's not ur flesh u eat sticks

Are trees not alive? Check your non cell walled privilege

Expect a new poster for the waifu brigade any day now

How is this thread still up?

Jani is a sausages man