Guys. Spiders don't swing from webs

Guys. Spiders don't swing from webs.

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But some spiders swing webs

Spiders actually shoot web from their butts

>Called SPIDER-MAN
>Doesn't look like a spider

Why is this allowed?

they actually do though, some spiders can even fly by letting down a web and then jumping off a tree and being dragged along by wind currents

I want Tom Holland for sexual reasons

THICC

...

Snyder's Spider-Man

Go on...

Some spiders can do it from the mouth. Spitting spiders can shoot venomous webs from their fangs

Guys. Spiders don't have a "spider sense".

Why doesn't Venom do that?

Why are spiders so disgusting? How did nature fuck up so badly?

That seems like it would be a pretty major evolutionary advantage.

Guys. Spiders don't have super strength or invulnerability.

Protip: every sense a spider has is a spider-sense

no. they're cuties

Spiders are the coolest things on Earth

They kind of do, relative to their size.

Because Venom's symbiote isn't an arachnid lifeform, it based some of its abilities around what Spider-Man wanted.

I think there were symbiotes that could spit acid though

Guys. Spiders don't go to high school.

I have seen some on my old school

>invulnerability.

wut? Spider-man's never demonstrated any kind of invulnerability.

Why don't criminals just shoot him in a face then?

I wanna cuddle him all night long

He has enhanced durability. He's not invulnerable but his body tissue is tougher than that of a regular person. If I'm not mistaken there is a scene in one of the raimi films where his doctor breaks a needle on his skin.

:3

Also, if I'm not mistaken, there is a scene in the Raimi films where he stops a moving train with his goddamn body without being ripped intwine.

Guys. Spiders don't pay the rent.

>He's not invulnerable

Thanks, all I needed to hear.

>been around forever
>gorillions of species
>found in abundance all over the world
>fuck up

nigger, they're an evolutionary masterpiece

though still a step beneath the pound-for-pound deadliest predator on Earth
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That man is not a bat.
The other guy wasn't all that super.
It's a wonder anyone ever thought she looks like a woman, let alone an amazon.
It takes a higher rank than Captain to lead America.
He's not really made of iron.
None of them wore watches.
He rode a motorcycle, not a ghost.