O shit nigga you just got caught by Chris Hansen

I'm at work!!!!!!! WTF!!!!!!!!!

are you fucking kidding me

The cops are watching a pretty wide radius around the house. They've chased down people who either chickened out or changed their minds and still charged them with every crime they could think of, just off the chat logs.

Because as is said in every thread, these stings are literally built around criminalizing saying shit on the internet.

wow, never seen that serbian mouse before.

reported for requesting pcp

Oh no I ain't come lookin for no little boys. I ain't got no milk, no cookies, nuthin. I came lookins for man's butt.

Are mods asleep?

reported for reposting pcp

sauce?

How big of a sentence can you get from chat logs? Is there much of a crime against asking kids shit about their sexual lives face-to-face?

AM I BEING DETAINED?

Haha, you fool! This was just a ploy to get me thrown into prison so I can be a cocksleeve for men all day everyday and have my every need provided for by the american taxpayer!

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
reported

About as much as any of the contestants on TCaP and HvP.

Yes, the sentences are identical as well. That's the main reason asses are in the air about this shit.

>What do you say to get yourself out of jail?

The cops can only get you if you leave the house. So you stay in the house.

MODS MODS MODS!!!!!

I just wanted to get something to eat!!

Delete this you sick fuck. Are you trying to get people v&d?

Wow for once something that doesn't get autodeleted

Thanks, now I'm probably on an FBI watch-list faggot.

holy shit kys

I've thought about this and I'd hypothetically prepare for this to happen in every scenario

Arrive, put bag of stuff on the table and start to leave without saying anything. If/when the kid/decoy asks where you're going act confused. Ask decoy/kid what they think I'm there for. Start talking to the decoy/kid, take anything they offer like water or whatever. Stick around.

Hansen emerges, asks me what I'm doing. Tell him I answered an ad on craigslist offering $100 to deliver the items. I only stuck around because the kid started talking to me and got me a snack, whatever man

Brings up chatlogs. Brings up dick pics. I don't know what you're talking about man. That's not my dick and I never used a chatroom in my life. I just answered a craigslist ad. Sorry I can't help you. I'll be leaving now

Squeaky clean

...

Kill yourself you sick fuck

i JUST opened this in google chrome, not even in fucking incognito. jesus fucking christ. i dont even know what to say, fuck you you need to burn in fucking hell for posting that

Lmao youre dumb as fuck

they will trace your IP / seize your computer

Seriously is that a doll? How can it stretch that much?

reported

Absolutely nothing, plead the 5th till you talk with a lawyer

I am appalled

MODS

It was going to be anal. It doesn't count.

>I didn't INTEND to try and have sex with a minor.

Worked for Clinton didn't it?

"my nigga, look at da picture yall use my nigga. Tell me you don't wanna bust dat ass my nigga. Don't be using dem fine ass bait pictures and I won't be coming out here my nigga"
Then I call Al Sharpton before walking outside and walk out yelling "hands up don't shoot, black lives matter!"
Checkmate

Clintons have essentially had people killed, don't think they'd bat an eye about raping a child.

>tfw opened before reading the replies

I didn't think you could do that to a human body. Simply amazing.

easy
>pull out my camera
>start screaming "it's a prank bro, lol, rlmao, it's from my youtube channel"
>show them footage I have filmed prior to that saying it's a prank and shit
walk away scot-free

That's the same as an alibi letter except as a video

Cred Forums GUIDE TO SPEAKING WITH LAW ENFORCEMENT OR CHRIS HANSON UNDER ANY AND ALL CIRCUMSTANCES

1. SHUT UP
2. LEAVE
3. JUST LEAVE, IF YOU'RE REALLY UNDER ARREST THEY WON'T LET YOU GO SO LEAVE
4. STAY SHUT THE FUCK UP
5. DON'T SAY ANYTHING
6. DEMAND TO SPEAK TO A LAWYER
7. DON'T SAY ANOTHER FUCKING WORD YOU RETARD HOLY SHIT
8. LEAVE YOUR KILLKIT AT HOME

I'm actually impressed by those who had thte presience to say to themselves "something is fucked. I'm leaving." Without even seeing anything.

None of the things any sex offender says? Because I'm not a sex offender?

I'd offer Hansen a cookie and a bag of dorritos if he'd let me free. Judging by the size of his gut there's no doubt he'd cave.

"Mr. Hansen? What's going on? A 13 year old girl? .......oh shit. Oh my fucking God I'm so sorry. It's my dyslexia, I thought she was 31!"

so was hansen and crew.

So they started instructing the decoys to disengage from anyone remotely intelligent.

>bring a birthday cake for her 14th birthday tomorrow

Uhhhm

Lel
I've noticed in the new Hansen v Predator that the people he's caught so far are some autistic looking fucks
Full on fucking sperglords

"Actually, I identify as female and therefore cannot commit child rape"

What was it?

Bad shit, I assume. At least he had the decency to spoiler it.

Chris Hansen taking a seat on his own show after luring himself into his own sting operation. He acted really surprised when he was met by himself instead of a 19 year old decoy for a 12 year old girl. It was alltogether very awkward, but it's going to be the best episode yet. The ratings will be through the roof.

>come to house dressed like a priest
>fill car with bibles and infographics about why pre-marital sex is wrong
>Knock on the door
>chris asks you to take a seat
>you claim you were trying to save her from real predators and get her right with the lord.

It was two consenting adults of opposite genders engaging in missionary sex solely for the purpose of procreation.

I was pretty triggered desu.

I love how cooperative this board is

What are you talking about?

I was being ironic.

Honestly what is stopping a predator from bringing his own hidden camera, pamphlets about rape / child safety, plans to make a "prank video", etc and claiming this was a social experiment to teach kids the dangers of meeting people online?

The courts have convicted innocent priests just because of the stereotype.

I want to watch this show with you guys, but I don't know when it is on

>If that's all true and you were just here to educate the girl, why did you send her pictures of yourself like this?
>"I'd like to blank you hard" you say
>And you sent her a photo album of your genitals

People have literally tried this defense

One guy claimed he only wanted to help her, went to his car and pulled out a note saying all this BS. Pretty sure he got busted a few days later.

>?
>74807755
>v
>74807421
Fuck off reddit. This isn't 2006. archive.4plebs.org/tv/thread/74807311/#74807421

Didn't see it, but it is almost certainly something along the lines of "I will delete this post in one minute reply as if this were CP"

>dude i hate fun lmao

If you have grease monkey installed you can still see it. This is the image from the deleted post.

This shit is the hardest to see, good thing I didn't.

This is what genuine autism looks like everybody.

That's why we can't have nice things

Fuck off.

NO FUN.
NOT EVER.

Aren't you supposed to spoiler images like these?

Oh grow up, you fucking faggots.

Excuse me sir but i'm jewish

Oh grow up, you fucking faggots.

Say nothing, walk out the door, get arrested and invoke the 5th amendment.
Then get the best lawyer I can and hope he can squeeze me out of it.
Anything else is wrong and you deserved to be put in jail for it.

That's right, this board is for serious shitposting, not funposting.