/swg/ - Screenwriting General

Yes, but generally its super contextual for what it actually means when you an American describes something as European.

>that's all I have for now
But I just got my dick out.

when it feels like civilization

Reads like a Euro porno script, I like it

I like the writing, but what the hell is going on?

>what the hell is going on?

I was drunk, sitting in a dark room, blaring psy-trance in my headphones and ended up writing this. Not a story I want to continue, just an expression of my state of mind.

I'm glad you liked the writing. It's one on my constant concerns that it is boring.

I started writing a few sketches for a show, thoughts?

1/3

2/3

3/3

Bump

>not screenplay format
Instantly dropped

youtube.com/watch?v=dV7H98vB1ZA

I wrote this for fun and quickly abandoned it.

...

...

Fug. Well it's only the firat draft, I'll rewrite that part.

Thanks for sharing your trigger.

It's not a trigger. How can you be semi-serious if you can't even follow the most basic rule of formatting it correctly? Give it to anyone for real critique and they'll similarly drop it.

You really should format you screenplays though, it's necessary advice bro. Just pirate Final Draft

don't bother, final draft is buggy as shit

just get writerduet or fadein

It's literally easier to use a real free program/site than do what you did you dumb shit

I've had to do without a laptop for the past few weeks, I wrote this up on Docs on my phone, which is also old as shit. I'll format it when I get a laptop.

That being said, your sketches remind me of Robot Chicken. The cards joke on the magician sketch went on a beat too long, but it was definitely Robot Chicken-esque. The news one made me chuckle. The last one wasn't funny.

Thanks man. I appreciate the feedback and I like Robot Chicken, so I'm glad to be compared to it.

The 3 second news is going to be a running joke with the anchor drinking caffeine and shooting adrenaline to try and read the news in time.

I'm working on one called Trash Mongers which is a parody of auction shows, and a "Real housewives of" parody. I think I'll focus more on keeping a tv format, at least for the pilot.

I like this. I like the tone and the mystery. More pls

who /featurefilmmaker/ here?

I can post some pages of my screenplay if you want. Pages 1, 15, 30, 45, 60, 75, 90 and the last one. I can give you feedback on yours.

You can start with all the screenplays posted so far

any of them yours?

how do we know they are husband and wife outside of your description?
Well written, good use of language and promising in the sense that for some reason you imagine something sexual will happen.

Interesting. Could develop into something good, like a combination of big lebowski with blade runner.

Yeah, I'm OP. And doesn't the dialogue tip it off? The passive aggressiveness?

>combination of big lebowski with blade runner.
Very close to what I was aiming for.

I think it could be much more action based tho. Start right away with the consequences of having human status revoked. Somebody kicking down your door is much more powerful than a letter. Also, the technology is weird, is this set in some version of the future from the past? Think more about our current dystopic situation and try to have your screenplay influenced by those thoughts.
The have the audience discover it. Don't tell it, show it. basic screenwriting rule.

It being so slow was half the reason I gave up on it. 3 minutes of blather. Was a fun little exercise thou.

...