Luke, did I ever tell about the time I went oooooooOOOOOOO to scare off some Tusken raiders? And I was a good friend

Fucking Hell. It's no wonder they killed all EU canon if this is how retarded it is.

Luke, did I ever tell about chairs? They were pieces of furniture humanoids could sit in or on (depending on the type of the chair). Chairs came in many shapes and styles, and chairs that could hover also existed. Chairs were common household items throughout the galaxy. And they were a good friend.

good shit

>tfw no 4u luke
luuuuke

what did he mean by this?

He did that right in front of Luke.

wtf i love goodfriendposting now

Luke was knocked the fuck out

>"Luke, did I ever tell you about the time I fought Sheev's first apprentice, Maul? I cut him in half after he killed my master. Its not the Jedi way, of course. But I still bisected him with all of my anger. As it turns out, Luke, Maul survived and managed to live for years on a garbage planet, living off of his hatred for me. During the outbreak of the Clone Wars, his brother, Savage Opress found him and took him to Dathomir, where the Dathomiri witches healed his mind and body. Within months, Maul had toppled the galaxy's biggest crime syndicates and created an army of Mandolorians. He ruled over Mandalore until Sheev decided to pop in one day and cockblock him out of his revenge fantasy. Maul some how survived and recently sodomized a young force wielder named Ezra Bridger on Malachor V."

>"He really wasn't a good friend."

>Luke, did I ever tell you C-3PO, who was built by your father, Darth Vader, while stranded on the planet of Nim Drovis, auditioned to perform at a cantina called the Wookiee's Codpiece. C-3PO performed by playing back songs stored in his memory core with his vocabulator. The assistant manager of the establishment told the droid that he sounded like a festering jizz-box and rejected him, saying the Codpiece already had a jizz-box to play.
>They were all good friends
>Also, turn off your targetting computer

>Also, turn off your targetting computer

Maximum kek.

Didn't Maul become some half-spider mech or some shit?

Lucas is such a hack

Yep.

Then he got force enhanced robot legs

>Luke, did I ever tell you about Darth Maul? He was Sheev's apprentice before Dooku and your father that used a double-bladed lightsaber. He fought against me and my master Qui-Gon on Naboo, and managed to kill him. Fortunately, even though I was still a Padawan I managed to cut him in half by taking advantage of the fact that he didn't know how to use the High Ground. However, it turned out that his hate somehow allowed him to survive getting cut in half and falling down a bottomless pit, and he somehow managed to escape from Naboo and become a cyborg spider on some other planet. Years later, during the Clone Wars, his brother Savage Opress found him and upgraded his cyborg legs. They went on a rampage across the Galaxy, trying to get revenge both on me and his former master Sheev. It's such a pity that he never told anyone that Sheev was a Sith Lord, that would have saved us a lot of trouble. They eventually took over Mandalore and killed the only woman I had ever loved right in front of me. After that I kind of lost track of him, not sure what became of him. I hope he's doing well, he was a good friend.

>Luke, did I ever tell you about jizz? It's my favourite. Jizz was an upbeat, swinging genre of music, most notably performed by Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes and the Max Rebo Band. Subgenres of jizz included the styles of jizz-wail, aubade, and glitz. Also, the music form jatz was reminiscent of, or in some ways similar to jizz. Other notable jizz bands included Bobolo Baker's All-Bith Band, Evar Orbus and His Galactic Jizz-Wailers, Hutt, Figrin D'an II and the New Modal Nodes, and The Sozzenels.
>they were good friends.

>but it already bought the bugs

Yeah it was about an hour ago

"Ben, that just happened like ten minutes ago."

>Jizz
>Look it up
>It's true

Why is Lucas so bad with names?

>Luke? Luke, wake up. Did I ever tell you about Darth Maul's Party Town? Darth Maul's Party Town was a spot set up in 32 BBY in the outskirts of Mos Espa, a city on Tatooine. The Sith Lord Darth Maul established his Party Town next to Queen Amidala's Royal Starship. Maul himself was using his lightsaber as a limbo bar for Captain Quarsh Panaka. After Jinn arrived, Maul launched into a duel with the Jedi.
starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Darth_Maul's_Party_Town

Second woman he ever loved. Read the EU.

>reading fan fiction

Make it all stop

Is this Lego Kino?

>Luke did I ever tell you about Yarael Poof. Poof was a male Quermian Jedi Master who served on the Jedi High Council during the final years of the Galactic Republic. Both an expert practitioner of Jedi mind tricks and illusions and a skilled diplomat and teacher, Poof witnessed the reemergence of the Jedi's ancient enemy, the Sith, and the discovery of the Chosen One.

>Poof was a male Quermian who stood at 2.64 meters tall and had pasty white skin and red eyes. Like other members of his species, Poof possessed two sets of arms and two brains, one in his head and the other in his chest.Although appearing as a serene thinker among the Jedi Council members, Poof also had a mischievous side and enjoyed playing mind tricks on colleagues.

:^)

>Oh and Luke the senator was your mother.

>Luke! LUUUUKE! Did I ever tell you about the gungans? They were an alien race of rastafarian horse-fish men that lived on Naboo. They had sea doos that could weather the impossible pressures of sub-tectonic ocean travel, but they used giant glowing marbles thrown from catapults against a relentless droid army. They were ruled by a big green one who didn't really look like the smaller cockroach ones at all. They were all good friends.

P.S. Did I ever tell you about the time I was chased in a giant corkscrew by monsters trying to eat one another? That was a good trip.

Who the fuck comes up with these back stories?

the mental ill

>Luuke did I ever tell you about Luke Skywalker? You're a clone of him. He was a good friend.

>Obi-Wan, did I ever tell you about Luke? He is our last hope. I want you to look after him on this desert shithole of a planet. But don't train him in secret or teach him anything in the 18 or so years of his life. Wait until his sister steals data tapes and his family gets killed because some droid landed on his sandfarm. Then when we have no time left give his his father's childkilling lightsaber and tell him he's a jedi. As our last hope we better do everything we can to prepare him. Be a good friend.

But it seems to be for every character, no matter how minor they are

>Luke did I ever tell you about the time The Emperor who was chancellor Palpatine at the time told Your father who was Anakin Skywalker about the time about Darth Plagueis who was Palpatine's master tell him about the secrets of the dark side and about the time he killed his master soon after he devulged his secrets? He was a good apprentice.