I LIVE WITH MY MOMMY AND MY DADDY :3

Reminder, Chris Hansen keeps predator dick picks on his personal phone, he eats their snacks and the kitchen is his own personal kill room/shrine.

He is literally the Pedo Dexter, if cops do find a hard drive full of evidence in his possession he has the perfect alibi.

Eric Roberts as the decoy when?

I'd kill to see that shit

>Could you have a seat over here?
>What is your name?
-Eric Roberts
>I know you are a well known actor but, why are you here? Why would you send these candid messages and pictures to a 13 year old boy?
-Actually, a man paid me some bucks to get into this house. I was free from some shooting and i was walking down the street. The man offered me five bucks to pretend to be him and here we are.
>Do you know where this man might be?
-Nope. Sorry. I'll be leaving now, i'm kinda late for an audition. Watch your weight, man.

This is so retarded. He looks like a fucking college student, why wouldn't they leave immediately?

The lack of effort of this show pisses me off.

>13
>receding hairline

Nigga what???

is that dusty smith

Its a random guy i met on facebook and saved his picture to taunt him but changed my mind and now use it as a reaction pic

jesus christ, you're a fucking loser

you dont think i know that?

>male theatre student

I wouldn't be surprised if he fucked the predator after the episode finished 2bh

What were in those cookies?

he totally would if they paid him 15$ instead of 5$

they tried to poison him but his body resisted it. he's built too good.

>now I'm really having a bad day

Wait, chris is on a new program like TCAP?

What do these pedos use to chat with kids?

I'm just asking for research purposes.

tinder and grindr

Quick, someone tell Matt LeBlanc!

>another guy working for Subway turns out to be a pedo

wtf I hate Subway now

Is this true?

hes a big boy

i like how the fag asked for his id because he looked too old
>do you have your id on you? i need to make sure youre underaged

Chips Handon looks like he's about to snatch someone's birthday

What phenotype is this?

Yes, 4 (short) episodes so far, every Thursday.

Fuck you Bullet in the Face and Macaroni were his best roles.

I miss the old voiceovers.

uuuu

kek is there a link to this episode.

Spic

>balding

What? Does your hairline extend to your eyebrows or something?

>how it feels to chew 5 gum

>sends a nude by "accident"
>lol whoopsie!!!
What a fag.

why didn't chris just show the whole fucking conversation? it's almost as if chris was actually trying to be friendly to him, literally not a single sick burn

what was on his shirt

>literally not a single sick burn
He's lost his touch. Maybe in a few episodes he'll be back in form, but I don't think we'll ever see that classic Hansen wit.

Jurassic Park.

I think hes still got it.
>I take him into the kitchen
>And grill him
That line from episode 1 of Hansen vs Predator made me laugh.

Probably because he wanted to show how much of a slimeball that guy is.

Wouldn't it be hilarious if you got caught by one of these shows and you came in decked out head to toe in branded merchandise? Like holding a bag of Wendy's and playing The Beatles loudly over your phone. lol

What is it with Subway and pedophiles?

>It's a "The decoy is more memeworthy than the pedo" episode

I felt so uncomfortable when he said that.

because of your boner?

it's called second hand embarrassment

>General manager at a major sandwich shop chain

why do they make the decoy spend so much time talking to the pedos now? what happened to "I'm just finishing up this laundry, have a seat, I made some cookies!"

Why doe people keep thinking that anyone would believe them if they say shit like that?

>you had your webcam on for thirty-five minutes and were masturbating while chatting with the decoy the whole time
>W-well I didn't know it was on...

Like how stupid are these people

what kind of police is taking him in here
the aryan brotherhood department?

I still don't get how it's illegal if you were talking to an adult all along.

Hard candy

Before I watch this, the cringe isn't too bad, right? I feel like too much would kill me right now.

like clockwork

Thats a normal hairline for an adult if not his forehead would be receding too.
look at which is a 40-something adult

that's why getting people to show up to the house is a key part of the show

Well our leaders set precedents when they plead ignorance of computer-related crimes. If Hillary can plead ignorance, then why can't these pedos?

>we used a photo of a real 13 year old for the decoy
>we've blurred it here to protect their identity

Did you get their permission? Inb4 they reverse search the kid and find their facebooks and shit.

>major sandwich shop chain

>shitty unsexy decoy
>stupid pedo working at subway trying to talk his way out
>hanson doesn't roast him enough

it was 5/10

Is that why none of these guys get convicted?

can somebody please post the mugshots?

>mugshot = conviction
do you even lawyer, bro?

The Untermensch.

>Waives his right to remain silent

What an idiot. The only thing you should say is "I want a lawyer."

they've all gotten 8-15 years so far iirc. watch the fucking episodes before you post again, squire

>where's the exit

You're already there, my dude.

>he really believes what the tv tells him
I bet you are totally freaking out about Pepe's right now.

>math teacher from Harrison, N.Y., who police said claimed he only wanted to smoke marijuana with the girl

this dude looks promising

I have never understood why these people simply don't commit suicide the first opportunity they get after being on the show. They'll never be respectable again

intent

you pedo

it's like how a lot of drug dealers get caught up on conspiracy shit, you can't just say "hehe prove it ;)"

a lot of the time they don't have to prove SHIT

people will forget about them in a month or two

only Cred Forums remembers, the last bastion against pedo shits

Well in this episode he mentioned using Grindr, although it wasnt named it was pretty obvious

attempted lewd acts on a minor and such

was he our guy?

>Me, my mommy, and daddy

haha fucking 5 star post

uhhh why dont they just use 15-16 year olds, they would be way more plausible

>I have never understood why these people simply don't commit suicide

why commit suicide when you can wait 10 years for pedosexuality to be socially accepted?

These men will be seen as blacks in 1964 or pre-slavery era.

That nigga was older than Hansen.

That fat fuck pedo was probably more worried that the 30 year old man pretending to be 13 was going to murder him than anything else. He was probably relieved to see Hansen walk out of that room.

Why do these retards always sign away their right to remain silent?

...

>tfw similar hairline

fuck

Looks like Pepe. Should be good.

They're registered sex offenders.
No one will ever give them a job again.

>do you live by yourself?
>no I live with my three dogs

No.
Papi was literally from Cred Forums.

If they're going to continue to use such old actors, they might as well save money and just have Hansen play the decoy.

...

*record scratch*
*freeze frame*
"Yep, that's me!"
"You're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation."

End yourself OP

Pepe's what?

Just shave it off.
Looks a lot better than that shit.

>hansen comes in
>they have to edit out the expression of genuine relief when he realizes this isn't going to be another instance where a frat house is getting gays to come over so they can beat them 90% to death.

He knew he fucked it from the off, decoy was just toying with him

>surprise, there was no 9 month old on the other end of the computer
>but you are a degenerate and we will ruin your life now
>But we won't let you just up and end it, you have to suffer in a prison full of ass-pounding rapists who we have been pumping full of HGH, Crack Cocaine, and Sucrets.

Life is fucked up, you did not choose to be here and you cannot choose to leave.

chris is more savage in this than in tcap though

AHAHAHA

didn't even notice that

>and Sucrets
wut

I fear I end up looking like

if you ever get caught just scream "VOTE HILLARY" "VOTE HILLARY" "I'M A PEDO" "VOTE HILLARY"

100% guaranteed they will NEVER air that shit

hansen thinks, because hes doing his own thing now, and not beholden to dateline, he can completely forgo the comedy.

For admitting the only reason people were watching was the grilling of losers, would mean admitting nothing he was doing actually mattered and he was just a glorified prankster who never had to say, "its just a prank bro."

Grow a beard or wear a cap.

cough drops? I don't know. It might've been code for crack cocaine, named for the way its smuggled into prisons, but he said crack cocaine

>too old to wear a cap
>can't grow a beard

I don't understand your image. Why would a racist frog care about your hair?

ebin

>tfw didnt get to eat all the cookies

>Netflix?.......chill??

Decoy was taunting

or they'd just edit it

youtube.com/watch?v=uaob5ryqpgE

could be quiznos

>or they'd just edit it

Into 'VOTE TRUMP'

I remember one guy actually did back in 2007.

>gave the phone to the decoy so he would know how to act
>know how to act

They'd blur it all or if it gets excessive just not air it

they're trying desperately to talk themselves out of going to prison for 10 years. I'd tell them I was possessed by the spirit of Catherine the great

He is the only one I have respect for. He did the right thing

may as well get some chinese food or something

didn't know the coneheads were real.

...

this

fuck it was funny how he thought he was believable

Can we find out who this guy is so we can bully him on twitter?

>What do you wanna do after? Netflix? Chill?

>not wanting to look like billy corgan

spotted the plen

>It's a "The decoy is more memeworthy than the pedo" episode
first time this happened

The pedo from this episode did nothing wrong.

>Papi is engaged
>turns out his fiance is male

They should have left that part out. Would have added another layer of lulz.

NOTHING SEXUAL

Suicide is a coward's choice. If your life is already ruined, it's time to upgrade to full-time serial rapist.

>"lust for young boys"
TOP FUCKING KEK

>goes to a house with the intent of fucking a 13-year old kid
>I dindu nuffin

hope he gets raped in prision tbqh

>T-shirt printer from Shelton, who later told police he was medically unable to have sex. The box of condoms found in his car? They were old, he claimed

this nigga

>last post isn't someone from Cred Forums

fuckkkk

something about his face tells me he has the killer genes in him

>prison rape meme

nigger that shit isn't allowed, it doesn't happen unless you wanna get your wig split

t. felon did 5 yrs for selling crack

>we all make silly mistakes lol no biggie

whats this hairstyle called?

the 5head aka the big boss

Hanson one cool motherfucker

yes. but also the guys hair is getting thin and his back is getting tight

Dinner4one

TAKE A SEAT BITCH

>i don't have many friends
>you have a fiancee
>we don't talk much anymore.. he works a lot.
Fucking faggots I swear to God.

this type of stuff he can sit and brainstorm over for a while, he still has the touch there.

I think he's softened up a bit when face to face though. Next episode and he should be ready. I'm assuming he reads these threads and is taking this stuff on board.

...

This gay pedo has more friends and loved ones than me.

That's it, I'm ending it tonight.

This is the faggot who was going on about having no friends? Guy has more girls on his facebook than most of the people on Cred Forums.

Jeez the actor looks old as fuck and the way he acts is just too fucking obvious

>uh you hungry..no...uh...what do you wanna do?..uh you don't want to stay here?...uh what do you wanna do after?

they needed to leave that out so we would assume it was a she, makes the whole thing even better.

>calling the wife from county jail
>hey honey
>heyy youu
>so like i need half a million dollars for bail
>wtf what did you do? kill someone?
>nah i tried to score with a 13 year old boy

they had a girl on there on one of the first 3 episodes who legit looked loli as hell

but yeah that guy looked like someone who would teach a class to 13 year olds in high school

It's usually a relative of someone on the team, often an old picture of someone who is now grown up.

All the decoys were terrible, I remember in the first one they had a middle aged woman with an unusually deep voice trying to pretend to be a preteen on the phone, it was terrible.

The only sort of good one was that brunette girl, they even had her talk to some of the guys for a few minutes before Hansen popped out. I wish they'd do that more. I also just don't get why they can't hire some better decoys, the world must be full of young looking unemployed actors.

that only goes to show that all fagfags are scum.

>guy makes bail
>it was like 400,000

what the fuck? just sit in the jail it can't be that bad.

>claims he doesn't have any friends in the episode
>has literally more people willing to publicly defend him on kikebook than I've spoken to in months

why do the corners of his mouth grow during the interview

Here's ten with names, supposedly all convicted.
churchofcawd.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=4623

i guess that sort of works, as long as they know

like imagine if it was you on there.

>yeah i saw user on that chatsite the other day
>turns out he's gay and likes older dudes and mikes hard lemonade

This always surprises me too, especially since a lot of them seem like utter retards so they can't exactly have great jobs either.

You don't have to pay the whole thing yourself...

i'm pretty sure it's usually just their parents using their house as a guantor kind of thing. No way could anyone excluding Brad Pitt or someone come up with that sort of money instantly.

Lolita
Leon the professional

HMMMMMM I WONDER IF A STRAIGHT PEDO WOULD GET THIS KIND OF REACTION
Fucking faggot-loving society

I suppose it makes sense that these people would have friends/relatives that are equally retarded but that's still a pretty big fucking sum of money. Not even worth it in the end, really.

I'm actually happy that he has people that support him, I hope he stops being a pedo, or at least learns to control his urges

I mean you wouldn't have to pay 400k on a 400k bond.

>can't be that bad

They have tv in county jail, everyone is together, they'll know why you're there within a day tops. Your life is on the line if you have some spic gangsters in there or something trying to make a name for themself before they go to the big house. They're meant to do something about pedos and shit even if they don't care.

That's a widow's peak, not a receding hairline.

Why? They're just encouraging his idiotic behavior and false sense of oppression. Real friends (or family) would tell him he fucked and he should face the consequences of his stupid behavior and that people are absolutely right to judge him.

>its a "pedophilia is only okay if you're hwhyte" episode

...

...

> supposedly sends nudes to people without even paying attention to who he's sending them to
>"i swear i don't just hook up with strangers!"

What a dumb queer

you only have to pay like 10% or something

He looks like he bulked up, Hansen better watch out.

what the heck

>No way could anyone excluding Brad Pitt or someone come up with that sort of money instantly.

That's why bondsman exist.

>Guy has more girls on his facebook than most of the people on Cred Forums.
and they're all disgusting fatass spics. now i understand why he wanted a slice of loli.

>I hope he stops being a pedo,

I guess you think you can pray really hard to stop being gay too right?

enough to make a man kek

Usually either put up their homes or find a bail bondsman who will charge like 5%
The money/house is always returned unless you jump bail. Then pic related comes a knockin'

You can though. I prayed the gay away

He's the spitting image of my cousin. But my cousin gets a lot of poon.

It actually is pretty bad if you're a pedo

Rip user. I'll never forget u.

Why don't they make the girls come to them?

looks like he's gonna rape some boipucci in the slammer

i don't get it

does the guy make me listen to his 80s hairmetal band if he finds me?

remember user, down the road not across the street.

good luck! don't pussy out.

Even still, Cred Forums and Cred Forums told me it's only okay to be a pedo if you're hwhyte. Poor guy.

A lot of these idiots drove hours or went relatively far, most 13 year olds can't do that.

legal poon?

>everyone caught is a basement dwelling nerd
>usually fat

How can they not be aware of this show and the way the decoys talk, etc.

>chatrooms

These still exist?

No, he kills you.

>"I still don't get how it's illigal if the bank vault was empty all along"
>"I still don't get how it's illigal if the hitman was a cop all along!"
>"I still don't get how it was illigal if the school was evacuated before the bomb went off all along!"

Between this show and all the faggots who come out of the woodwork screaming entrapment in every thread i legit think pedos are mentally retarded.

They don't use chatrooms anymore, they use stuff like snapchat.

One of the guys actually said "I knew this was gonna happen". They know of the show, but they're so horny they can't control themselves.

what are the actual chances of actually getting a 13 yr old at home like surely 99% of the time its not a 13yr old

Look at the beak on that jew.

Why did this guy refuse to enter the house when he saw the decoy but when Hansen appeared he went right in?

Absolutely. Going to College also.

Hansen told him to come in, and a lot of them are eerily obedient to his commands.

So was he actually going to kill her?

>but they're so horny they cant control themselves

this nigga a magnet head

Demotivationals got so fucking stupid

god he looks like me, scared me for a second.

i've become so good at jacking off that i almost prefer it to chasing tail. Don't even have to move out of my seat.

no he just tries to convert you to Catholicism while you oggle his tittymonster wife

Do you still sell crack?

then (You) said...

>i want you to put your blank in my blank

What did he mean by this?

nipple in my ear

Punished Boo

no

Hawt

vestigial tail in my armpit

>I want to blank your blank while you blank the blank

...???

>Hey, do you want to come look at this. My daddy made it :)

What the fuck was he thinking?

What's his endgame?

top tier acting desu, he will star in true detective season 3

This. Being gay gets the sympathies.

Only version of that screenshot I could find that didn't have someone else's face plastered on it

Same. Load up 2-3 good vids, place two kleenex in front of me, and ill have a semen sample ready in under 10 minutes.

money in my bank account

i loved the part where the guy seems to think he is off the hook and is all thankful and shit, and Chris narrating says something like 'he might be wanting to take back all the nice words in a minute when he sees the police outside'

i don't know why, you see it coming, but the way Chris says shit is always so funny

>decoy walks out of the room
>pedo starts to follow
>Chris pops out
>So, hot date tonight huh?!

he's fucking back boys

Reminds me of dafoe

Getting you

COO-EE *LEAVES FORTUNE TO GREAT-GREAT GRANDCHILDREN* I LIVE *DIAGNOSED WITH PNEUMONIA* WITH ME MAM *GETS AIDS* AND ME DAR *HAS A STROKE* FELLOW YOUNG PERSON *DIES*

How are these pedos driving nice cars but are so stupid to not lawyer up ?

which episode is this guy from?

they spent all their money on their nice cars

Most people don't know shit about civil rights. If you watch Law and Order: Special Memes Unit you always know the bad guys are bad because they don't cooperate with the poleez who are goods boys who dindu nuffin.

these betas aren't exactly versed in how this shit works, they're probably thinking 'i'll just talk straight away and maybe they'll let me go home tonight'. Keep in mind they never killed anyone or anything.

This dude was talking so much and so fast, Hansen probably thought he didn't need to - just let him dig his own grave.

has anyone ever tried to pull a Max Cady on Chris?

He was just on the way to the beach.

youtu.be/vQ2Xe4xrNi4

you know what? he doesn't want these cookies anymore...

...

oh jesus fucking christ...

These are home baked!

TCAP generally scraped the bottom of the barrel retards who actually fall for such an obvious trap. They don't have the brains or balls to try anything. The only one who ever took a swing was the rabbi, so I guess Chris better watch for him.

wew

top kek

>The only one who ever took a swing was the rabbi

What did he do?

yeah, people are saying this isn't as comedic as the original TCAP but I think it's still there. just in the first episode you have Hansen comparing the predators to cockroaches and pointing out the fact that the guy is sobbing like three times.

kek

Towards Chris? He just kind of lunged at him and some security guy stepped in. Kind of stupid in general as Chris was like a foot taller anyway.

>cant grow a beard either
>i spotted the line receding

T-T WHYYY GOD WHYYY???

He just lunged at him and got in his face. Apparently he also tried to bribe him to not air this footage.
youtube.com/watch?v=xt6MmzRRYk0

yeah he's been pretty vicious with the slander (cockroaches, etc)

He was a frail old man. I thought he reached out and tried to grab Hansen's throat, slow like Frankenstein's monster, wide unblinking eyes. Everybody in the crew jumped him and he acted like he had just woken up and didn't know what he was doing. But maybe I'm confusing him with someone else.

If anything I think Chris is being a bit more intense with the insults for the new version of the show. That and the jokes.

>hey boo

There is an attempt to make it look like journalism at times but at this point it is just entertainment.

episode ranking so far

2 > 1 = 3 >>>>>>>>>> 4

GAY PRIVILEGE

you can't be mean with gay people, because that's homophobic (even if they're pedos)

He's a Trump fan.
twitter.com/stevebuck6985

>tactical 360° spin to check for cops
damn, he's good

>posts re4ddit horseman

No u

>We memes now
I was stoned when I saw this and this part freaked me out

He's a bounty hunter, like samus or captain falcon.

>Implying SJWs and Tumblr want to legalize pedophilia
>The only place people are defending pedophilia is Cred Forums, Reddit and the other chans.

Well they support sharia law which abolishes the AoC

they haven't figured out that unlike homosexuality which doesn't usually personally affect people, pedophilia has potential to effect anyone that has kids and literally digs at every parents worst fear.

He's a seat salesman...

Show me where tumblr supports sharia law.

Dude looks kinda boyish but he's obviously like 26-yo or something, what were they thinking.

You were the first one to mention Tumblr, paki lover.

>when you see it

Wasn't me, and way to dodge the issue.

meme magic

PAKI

fucking kek

MOHAMMED

RASHEED

And you mentioned Sharia first.
You replied to a different person

danke spärde

libertarian pedo-apologist detected

Praise Kek

>Hey boo

top lolo

...

>that actor
>13

If Chris Handsome was shot and killed during one of these stings would he become an American hero?

uh oh

>Eric Roberts as the decoy
soon as TCAP gets the budget together to offer him a soda pop and chili dog.

I thought the kid looked just like Dave Franco.

Wew lad

On the other hand, he made a tweet against Kim Davis (the anti-gay marriage clerk).

Ill say" but I always vote Republican"

This guy is the average Cred Forums poster, I bet he posts here.

Sjw have made it legal for little girls in california to be prostitutes. That means that if you're a girl (not guy) under the age of 18, you can have sex with men for money and then report the man for raping you, i bet you could even sue him and get even more money off of him.

I'm sure they are on Kik now too since it's been in the news

youtu.be/FOIeXXpJ8ss?t=36

>Hi, I'm Eric Roberts. I play both the tough guy and the cool guy in lots of Hollywood movies and tv shows. But there is nothing tough, there's nothing cool about diddling kids.

No one gives a fuck about me either not even my parents but I'm staying alive as a big fuck you to everyone suicide is for losers

"Hey boo"

That wasn't really a burn but a like oooh shiiit moment

>churchofcawd.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=4623

oh cawd! oh cawd!
Lorne got caught and he said oh cawd

kek

>25 year old man
>im 13 "want some netflix and chill?"

KEK

>im 27
>not true, at the time of recording, he was 28

>mommy and daddy got me this skateboard for my 13th birthday last week!

>i usually meet at a public place so its safer for me

jesus christ dude

episode 5 when? someone said two per week and we've only had one this week

I thought he was going to say he was really 38.

...

>tries to fuck a 13 year old boy
>Jules Armani "everyone makes mistakes people can be so judgemental"

HOLY FUCK

I hear what you're saying. just FWIW,
snopes.com/child-prostitution-legalized-in-california/

netflix is such a fucking meme fuck normalfags ree

>IDs the fucking kid in case he accidentally fucks an adult

3 signs with words being shown
>no parking ANYTIME between Parent and Loli

That is pretty fucking wierd guys

This guy tries to fuck a 12 year old kid, and his family and friends treat him like he's some kind hero, meanwhile I try to be good and all that my family and their friends have to say is that I'm no good and can't do anything right and that I should be ashamed for being a loser.
I think don't want to live anymore.

meme magic is real son

embrace it

Maybe you should get caught trying to fuck a 12-year old kid.

Maybe but I don't like kids, I'm in to old women.

Post the after pic

Its not like you went to fuck a horse.

checked

...

Cred Forums Cred Forums banner

this isn't your personal blog, kiddo

whoa, he looks younger and more attractive in the post photo.
UNJUST