Has anyone here ever tried to act like the driver ? did it work?

Has anyone here ever tried to act like the driver ? did it work?

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Yes
No

>be autistic
>finally learn to drive
>no qt racemixing blonde with half breed son ever appears in my life
Fuck this movie

/thread

...

Without trying to sound edgy, I acted like him before the movie even came out. I was a driver for escorts at a "massage" place. Alone with whores at all hours of the night into the early morning made me feel pretty cool.
The Driver ain't got shit on me.

It works evrytime, without fail friendo

>be me
>in theater
>watching final scene of drive
>a real hero starts playing
>the driver blinks
>suddenly a wave of euphoria rushes over me
>I reach to pop the collar on my scorpion jacket
>I realize that I haven't bought one yet because I didn't know about it until watching this film which isn't over yet
>wait until the the very last frame of the credits before leaving the cinema, which is standard patrician viewing procedure
>head out to the snacks counter
>qt and fat dude serving
>start sweating
>avoid qt and go up to fat dude
>ask for a couple of crabs legs to tape onto the back of my white polo
>he shakes his head and shoots me the look that the kids at school usually give me
>feel sick fury build deep from within my stomach
>go out to parking lot
>wait hours for his shift to be over, nearly pass out
>he finally heads over to his car
>it's a Chevy Impala
>the most popular car in the state of California
>no one will be looking at him
>or so he thinks
>wait until he gets in
>leap onto roof
>pull pants down
>try to unleash epic seafood turd
>forgot about the jumbo two liter coke consumed whilst watching the movie
>start pissing uncontrollably
>cargo shorts are completely drenched
>he starts the car
>tumble backwards off the roof
>land on my neck
>can't feel my body anymore
>bowels release themselves loudly
>onlooker runs up to me
>"What the fuck are you okay?"
>look her in the eye
>stare at her whilst smirking in a cool way
>"I guess there truly are no clean getaways"

Ever get some freebies?

what the fuck

No, the most I ever got was seeing them change and making snark comments. I'm not a fan of having an STD.

Yeah
Yes and no, worked on one gril but failed on another.

But it was only massages

The last couple days I've read at least 10 comments from dudes who allegedly drove escorts around. It's a pretty neat meme, but this instantly gave you away, because the kind of whores that get driven around lose their job if they get an STD.

2/10 m'virgin

An escort and massage business don't do much massaging.

Don't know what meme you're referring to, but I'm not telling any lies.
You realize that when someone has an STD they don't magically grow a loudspeaker in their assholes blaring "I HAVE AN STD" right?

Just admit you're bullshitting and we'll call it a day. I don't want to dig in and expose how these "escorts" you were driving around was actually your mother.

How boring as shit your life gotta be to think driving escorts around is unbelievable?
Don't have to prove anything, so you thinking so is fine, friend.

7/10

bro, regular women have a lot of stds as it is, can you imagine a whore

Well at least I keked.

Everything he's been saying is so naive it makes me think he's actually around 15 years old.

Yes I ended up on To Catch a Predator.

I don't want an STD

STDs are treatable you virgins

Yeah I'm sure I can walk to my local Walgreens and cure my AIDS

Not all of them

B-better never have sex, j-just in case!

Lay some science on me then, bro

Get out of my board you contagious faggot

No it's okay supposedly you can cure STDs

kek

He wishes he could cure his diseased dick

drive

toothpick

so am i

>saw a girl wearing the driver's jacket
>wanted to compliment her but wasn't sure if it would come off as awkward or not
Such is life.

hi guys i need some advice

im looking to buy some toothpicks to improve my popularity at school. I wanna be 'that guy with the toothpicks' so people know they can come to me and ask for a toothpick at any time and i can give them one or two, tim the toothpick tadpole, they might call me.

my question is what toothpicks do you think i should get? i need a brand everyone will like, and im looking at buying a very very large amount in bulk. Idk like 10kg of them or maybe something like cinnamon flavor? what kind of toothpicks would you like kowning your reliable friend has on him?

my father suggested it to me since it has been rough making friends, my father has no friends either. but he brings memes to work and says the people call him mememaster mike (because he carries the dankest memes), and that people like it.

suggest me some toothpicks please!!!!

When I was a junior in high school and I first got my license, I didn't want to go home and instead started walking around the halls for hours on end after school listening to '80s music and not talking to anyone. Eventually some of the other kids who stayed after school found out I had a car and started having me drive them places, so I became known as that quiet guy that would drive you home or to get bagels if you had the balls to ask a random stranger to drive you somewhere for free.

Good times. Made a lot of friends (and girlfriends) that way.

>driving around town
>A Real Hero starts playing from my playlist
>mfw

I can't suggest a brand, but my advice is PLEASE don't chew it.
Driver doesn't chew, he keeps it in his mouth.
No biting or sucking on the toothpick.
You lose all cool factor if you check on it or suck it.
You might bite it a bit thinking you look cool but what you don't know is others are watching someone enjoy biting on a piece of wood.
Keep it in place, don't move it, hold it, and don't talk.

driveautist pls go

Fine, do the EXACT OPPOSITE and show me the ladies you pull.

I'm at dinner with my gf and this was far more entertaining

Yeah and I got beat up for it

youtube.com/watch?v=H4ooJPYg2ew

I tried.

kek, daring synthesis user.

LEL