Star Wars: The Farce Awakens

inb4 evil and i was only pretending to be retarded.

I was going to pick at each one of these but
>automagically can use a pistol
Anybody can use a pistol, dipshit, you just point and shoot. She's not even that good a shot.
>automagically can use a lightsaber
So can Han and Finn, and they don't have Force magics.

>OP is a shill.

Lizard people are real, they're just not ACTUAL lizards. They like that name, it's why were made the Meat Train Express movie. It's an inside joke now...

So I think we can all agree that TFA and R1 both need strong, male protagonists instead of Mary Sues, right?

This faggot.
m.youtube.com/watch?v=sg29Sa6QFes

>hating a specific character in a medicore film, who happens to be a woman
>misogynist

try harder, shithead.

That's the comment that makes me think it's a shill post because that's the actual joke when he gives her the pistol.

How do you explain those guys not having a problem with sarah or ripley?

What kind of fucked up mental process did you go through to conclude that these posts were misogynistic?

I fucking hate rey and I also think those two women are the best written action-women in all history of films.

>io9.gizmodo.com/toy-commercial-shows-rogue-one-shoretroopers-in-action-1787316319
>heroic nigger kid with blue lightsaber against the evil white supremacist imperial stormtroopers

Subtle (((walmart))); real subtle

Also, "bring me that droid!"- kylo

Stormtroopers see droid, shoot on sight and..

"Call in the airstrike!"

So cool man! COD!

Episodes 4-6 the Star Wars universe was new and interesting, now it's fucking lame a boring.

Anyone that still likes Star Wars is a fucking idiot and I hope I can meet them in person one day to con them out of all of their money.

Fucking rubes.

Finn is fine though.

He shouldn't be able to kill Stormtroopers so easily, but at least he's a a perfectly intolerably "perfect" character.

Walton family are Jews now? Stay asshurt SJW-right stormtrash useful idiot.

But Millenium Falcon, Tie-Fighters, X-Wings, lightsabers, Chewbacca! It had everything I care to see in a Star Wars movie without introducing too much lame new stuff that would be hard for me to process.

We still don't know who her parents are

What is the force? It's literally magic.

Boom, just explained it.

His kevin hart like antics had no place in star wars, i'm not saying the guy can't act but finn was a fucking retarded character all around.

Daisy is a qt

...

Star Wars is all about coincidences, Deus Ex Machinas and plot armor.
The OT had them, the prequels upped it even more and TFA cranked it to 11.

I hate her stupid face so much

Maybe I'm an autist, but it still bugs me he couldn't pull a trigger when he was first introduced but blew up dozens of former comrades without hesitation as he escaped.

You're not, he was every bit as bad as rey just for different reasons.

Finished Kotor 2 for the first time a week before seeing this film.

And god damn did this movie feel bland for me.
It tried so bad to recapture the original trilogy's lightning in the bottle that it did not try to do it's own thing with the star wars universe.

They really need to shake things with the next movie. Not just rely on blind nostalgia to carry the whole thing.

Forgot: Reason i mentioned Kotor 2 is because the story went places the films didn't storywise and actually had a villain who had generally interesting motivations besides domination of the universe and it's ideas about the force.

No, I personally had problems with how the character was handled as well. He had great potential but ended up being tonally inconsistent in a jarring way.

I thought his character arc would be about him choosing not to fight and then struggling over the consequences of his pacifism. The scene at the end where he ignites the lightsaber to fight Kylo Ren could have had so much more significance and weight if it was his first time fighting.

Instead it cuts from the bloody print on his helmet to him cheering at the charred remains of the people he was trained with.

The best delivered line in the whole movie (and the only one that treats Finn's character appropriately) is made by the storm trooper shouting traitor

i think shes hot

Complaining about this movie's story is like dropping a book because you don't get it 1/3 of the way in

If the force wills it, so it shall be

"You got a lot to learn"

What did he actually mean by this? Was he being sarcastic? Butthurt? Jealous of her mad skillz? Or did he "know" she was already trained or something? Seriously WHAT did he MEAN?

>it's fucking Star Wars Movies by Disney???
>what were you expecting

Just because it was expected doesn't make it OK.

Midichlorians bro :^)

>dude let's complain about a children's movie about space wizards

I imagine you're one of those fat star wars fanboys that try to explain how the original trilogy is so full of depth and symbolism

Going off the trailers I expected the most self-important Star Wars movie ever.

...

A lot of children's movies aren't terribly written and also have deeper messages so why can't this one? And I'll whole heartedly agree the original trilogy isn't particularly deep in any way, but it was decidedly more consistent and thought out.

I don't think something should be given a free pass in terms of its quality just because of its target audience. It's a pretty poor excuse to hide behind.

He's just a huge faggot user. They can't defend this piece of shit so they attack anyone who doesn't like it.

What? Are you legit retarded or just very stupid?

I'm saying the entire franchise is shit.

The pacing really fucked me off. It was all so rushed.
I was going to say its like a flick, but it IS a flick

Now that's what i call a good goy

MIDICHLORIANS SON

If you can close your eyes to shit like this, TFA is a good flick, but if you're a fan of SW universe then I think it's really hard for you to like this movie.I can understand both sides but fuck it Kylo Ren is the Anakin I always wanted.

It's called mainstream feminism, bro.
Women are not to be criticized by the filthy white male in principle. That would be sexist.

may the force[d diversity] be with you

>So can Han and Finn, and they don't have Force magics.

Han uses a lightsabre to cut open an already dead animal. That kinda ranks a little lower than beating a force sensitive guy who trained with a lightsabre most of his life in a one on one on your very first try.
Yeah and Finn's success was equally if not more retarded.

Walmart commercials r gr8

youtube.com/watch?v=Wf_djPu1nac

>can beat someone trained under Luke fucking Skywalker for several years and has gotten so powerful he could kill all the new jedi and make Luke go into fucking hiding in the same hour she learned that magic is real

Cucks will literally defend this

Usually with the arguments
>w-w-w-w-w-well he was injured so it makes since for a literal magic wizard god to lose to a malnourished sand hobo. Losing so bad in fact you couldn't even land 1 hit on her.
>w-w-w-well he was EMOTIONAL and sad and angry so it makes sense he would lose the fight. Please ignore episode 6 when Luke becomes more powerful by channeling his anger.

>it was decidedly more consistent and thought out.
>I don't think something should be given a free pass in terms of its quality just because of its target audience.

I think Boyega is a fine actor, and Finn remains one of the better parts of TFA, but his character is a little incoherent. The film simultaneously wants to make him the humorous, relatable everyman while making the foundation of the character a harsh, controlled life as a First Order trooper and the tragedies that get him to break away from it. That's not very everyman. It shouldn't be, anyway. Not as fast as the movie forces it.

I don't think Luke is in hiding because he can't take care of Kylo, but because he's unsure what his role should be and how to proceed.

>spends entire life rooting around old broken down ships
>knows about old parts
no shit

That's not how the Force works!

It looks great and moves at good speed. Cool stuff happens.
Yet.... TFA is just a glib facsimile remix version of why most people like Star Wars. George Lucas ran an independent film company full of artists and craftsmen that introduced new concepts and designs every movie. Disney and Jar Jar Abrams somehow crafted this soulless theme park ride that I enjoy while I'm watching it but hate it when I'm not.

It's amazing actually.

If we killed enough of this shit bags, would this type of thing end or get worse? I know if we killed all of them it would stop. I guess my question is, who do we kill?
this is a hypothetical question and in no way means I fancy murdering anyone. This is Cred Forums after all and only a fool believes anything posted here.
Answer my question if you can, thanks.

Luke's only in hiding because they didn't want him to over shadow the shit new characters.

I'm still fucking mad about that ending.

Kylo Ren is supposed to fucking win their first confrontation with Rey getting in one good shot (most likely because of Kylo's bowcaster injury) before getting away by the skin of her teeth, that's how this type of story works.

Luke did not kick Vader's shit in at the end of the first movie. Or even the second. Fuck.

Only after watching this film a second time do you realise how awful it really is.

Anybody who thinks this is a good movie has no taste. FACT.

i agree, i just want nudes of daisys muscular ass and pussy region

MEMBER CHEWBACCA????
OH OH MEMBER THE MILLENNIUM FALCON????
MEMBER THE FORCE??

The movie was garbagio

Here's what I didn't get. Chewie's bowcaster was seen to blow stormtroopers off their feet no problem but the shot on Ren just burned him a little?

Force sensitives always have a barrier up.

Due to wookiepedia in the ancient Sith Temple of Shangri-Lah they called this sacred technique plot armor, it is created by constantly changelling the force arround you with your mind. Sadly enough their is a poor visual representation in the movies, but Greedo's trilogy 'The life of a bounty hunter - Shattering point' vastly expands upon that.

Kill yourself pleb

I hate Rey but the whole story was a terribly obvious carbon copy of A New Hope.

automatically a kike choose a chav culture low life ugly alcohol fetal syndrome main lead

and you have questions.

Except it missed critical story elements such as character development and impact

Han was half assed
Nobody gave a damn about Storm Trooper now or random pilot

Shit was just there to be big and showy and that's all.

If anything I'd say it's far closer to The Return of the Jedi

The entire movie reminded me of a high school rendition of Waiting for Godot, nobody really understands the source material, but at least they know the words

I don't know whose genius idea it was to make Han and Leia divorced. Why did they think we wanted to see that?

Also why did Han offer Rey a position working with him? That's not like his character at all, he just met the chick and he wants her around.

Can someone tell me why if the emperor was gone and the republic was started again by the rebels and democracy restored, why were they called the "Resistance"?

What were they resisting? Also how the fuck was a rebel group (first order guys) able to build a fucking super Death Star out of a planet in secret?

The same reason he said he liked finn, to try and convince the audience they weren't shit. It didn't work

Notice how he didnt offer Fin a job to keep him and Rey together or keep working on the mission though. "Stay with us until we deliver the message, then I'll give you a job"

Too bad he didn't have that Mary Sue magic

Sidney.

Love you

Whore

When Sheev is kill the empire is split into 2, the republic and the first order. The resistance is a guerrilla movement inside the first order's territory.

Why would you make something like this up?

> he was injured
But he was, the movie goes out of its way to show bow powerful the bowcaster is

> he was EMOTIONAL
But he was, killing han was supposed to make him stronger but it did the exact opposite. The movie goes out of its way to show this. Kylo doesn't feel hate, he feels regret

Nigga, did we watch thr same movie? Or are you just one of those autisict film goers that needs everything explained for the audience?

This tbqh senpai

>what were you expecting

not

>Are you OK?

And you got it, senpai.

I saw it not as a 'remember' but 'hey kids, the new generations, you should check out the original star wars...'

Weird that you take it for granted that EVERYONE knows Star Wars and has seen it and knows literally everything about it.

>universe has tons and tons of good quality fiction that could be brought to the screen
>remake the first movie instead

>Actually taking this blatant bait.

Why can't 'redpilled' Cred Forumsacks leave our board alone?

I don't mind her character, its the first entry in a new series of films and theres room to grow.

but anyone who says she isn't basically the literal definition of mary sue is off their rocker.

>EU
>tons of good quality fiction
Latest meme?

Someone here posted the official visual guide or whatever it's called and it explains things in the plot that don't make sense. There was a disarmament between the two sides, so the Rebellion and Empire went away. The New Republic was formed, but Leia thought they still needed a way to fight the remains of the Empire. No one was on board with that, so she formed the Resistance, which I think was just like semi-tolerated by the New Republic, but not officially sanctioned.

There is no good explanation as to how Starkiller base was built.

Presumably they thought people were so turned off by the space politics of the prequels that they just completely left out giant plot points and hoped people just wouldn't care. It's idiotic that you have to read a book to "complement" the story told in the movie.

>Summary..
>I felt threatened by a girl lead character and splerg out with autist rants thinking people won't notice the real reason behind my butthurt

What I don't understand was how they got Luke's old lightsaber back when it literally fell into a gas giant

how can she grow exactly? she is already elite at everything, that's why the character is so shitty

Anyone that doesn't like TFA is racist and/or sexist.

Hardly, you've just exaggerated things in your mind because of bandwagon contrarianism. Your opinions are copypasta defense mechanisms of someone who felt emasculated by a female star wars lead character that didn't end up in a gold bikini.

there's nothing wrong about being racist or sexist. Those are the most basic character traits in all human beings.

>automagically runs into the one droid the Resistance is looking for

Just like Luke.

ebin trolle, my friend.

Don't fall for such obvious bait, just ignore it. You're better than this user.

Luke made more sense though. The droids were captured by aliens that would sell them to farmers. It was also Owen who took Luke there to buy them.

Rey on the other hand just happened to find the droid in the middle of a fucking desert planet.

higher level characters always have more hitpoints, duh

Am I making an ass of myself? I'm not sure what you're trying to point out here.

fucking just watch this video
youtube.com/watch?v=8g9cJ5WKZeU

it's pretty good

It's almost like there's an all-powerful, godlike Force guiding them or something.

no, its called asspulls, retard

>saying this about a series where destiny is a driving force

lol

That's because she is the most powerful dark side user since Palpatine.

damn, i'm glad people are beginning to wake up.

still don't see how any star wars "fan" could hate the prequels though. flawed, unfiltered vision from someone doing what he loves, resulting in a series of film unlike anything seen before or since. prequels are the ultimate pleb filter. in b4 >but muh rules of kino

no one cares because star wars was always shit

quality and success has no correlation

>implying the force awakens actually presented fate, coincidence, and things falling into place with good writing and storytelling

This. Most people in general don't give a fuck and just live and let live.

You saying the Force guided a fucking droid? Or if you're talking about Rey, she was on her way home which so happened to be where the droid was going for no apparent reason.

dropped as soon as he set forth the autismo nerd premise that "disney made more starwars movies to validate the prequals"

no they make them to make money faggot, and it works because you keep going to see them and buying merchandise through your complaining

The last Starwars I actually paid to see was the Phantom Menace..

maybe BB-8 is actually a cyborg with organic brain or something

Like Grievous

>I don't know what a story is

Yep let's just make a "realistic" plot about Rey farming scrap for two hours I'm sure that would be thrilling.

no, he said disney is trying to validate the original trilogy because the prequels were terribly executed, hence the mutilmillion dollar copypasta

the point i'm trying to make they ain't trying to validate shit they're just trying to get more of your shekels

the point he was trying to make is their goal for more shekels is reusing shit, hence trying to validate themselves by simply reusing the original's background, story, imagery, etc.

How the hell was she able to have teeth like that living in the desert?

I can't believe their are anons on Cred Forums who not only liked TFA, but actively defend it.

I believe almost every element of the film was a mistake, and that they produced a bland, uncompelling, creatively bankrupt mess of a film.

The biggest issue was the emotional connection between characters and audience, or lack thereof. No one cares about the Resistance, no one likes Rey, Solo was killed by a guy we don't care about.

It looked like a TV show. No dynamic filmmaking, no memorable scenes. Bland, bland, bland.

dear god, her face is such a repulsive thing

>you hate this because is a woman

Thats all the defense they have. They dont need arguments, they just use the victim card and they 'win'.

The future you choose when you support this kind of movie

What

semen white process

I just watched part of this and holy fuck does Carrie Fischer look like fucking shit. Why did they cast her again? She looks so fucking awful it took me out of the movie, she doesn't look like she belongs on film anymore.

youtube.com/watch?v=sg29Sa6QFes

Not to mention that the actress is fucking terrible and her accent is annoying

Do you people purposefully leave out how she wanted to bail because she was scared and accidentally released the monster on the ship? I am not "defending" the movie, these are factual events that happened you're leaving out probably because they go against your narrative.

> ive never seen star wars before

It's star Wars.

If you want serious stuff ----> Star Trek

literally nobody defends this

>so can Han and Finn
The fuck are you talking about? Han just turns it on and slices open a dead animal. Finn uses it for 5 minutes (which was stupid too) but gets his ass handed to him by a grunt stormtrooper.

Rey holds it for the first time and completely tools a skilled warrior with little effort.

So are you implying that Luke CAN take care of Kylo but is merely hiding and letting hundreds of people get killed because he's unsure? What the fuck?

Clearly he's scared of Kylo. Kylo killed the other Jedi and is now trying to hunt down Luke.

>be Kylo Ren
>be looking for Luke Skywalker so you can kill him and end the existence of the Jedi once and for all
>can't even beat a 20 year old girl holding a lightsaber for the first time

Wait what the fuck? What exactly was Kylo expecting to do when he found Luke?

>she's totally a flawed character guys!! Remember that time she let out a giant monster that killed a bunch of bounty hunters but then magically knew the layout of the ship she had never been in before enough to close the door at the exact right time so that it chopped off the monster's limbs but left Finn completely - nevermind the fact that the monster was carrying Finn around for some reason despite immediately eating everyone else it came across???

Just shut the fuck up, you idiot.

>automagically runs into the one droid the Resistance is looking for
>automagically runs into the Aluminum Falcon
>automagically runs into Han Solo

this is fine

>automagically knows how to DUDE BYPASS ED LMAO an obscure control panel on a dated shipping freighter

this is less fine, but she's been collecting parts from old fighters all her life so i'd assume she'd know her way around a ship

>automagically can use a pistol
>automagically can use a lightsaber

this is fine

>automagically can mind control a trained force user
>automagically a Jedi Master

ok i'm with you on this.

>automagically befriended by Chewbacca for life

this is fine.

>She's not even that good a shot.
Better than the stormtroopers chasing her. You know, professional soldiers.

Man you just don't like anything do you Cred Forums?

Succ his dick

>anybody can use a pistol

Lol, okay you and i have a shooting competition with my 1911, il be impressed if you can figure out how to release the slide and take the safety off.

Or hit the goddamn paper at 20 yards

Maybe it's know Luke hasn't his lightsaber. Kylo was probably messing around too, like "ok this is the first time I get to have a lightsaber duel,imma enjoy it.There's no way these untrained nerds can even touch me" and it didn't turn out so well for him. And besides when the find Luke it would probably be Kylo's master who would face him.

>Kylo wasn't trying
Holy shit the only thing sadder than this movie is the people trynig to defend it

Alright, have fun hating things while I have fun enjoying them.

...

Kill yaself

stormtroopers having shit aim has been a meme forever you nigger

>automagically can mind control a trained force user
And when did she do this? Wasn't he just a stormtrooper?

shes so cute

Right...from all those aliens she was servicing on the side for extra portions. You know how aliens love human girls.

She reversed Kylo Ren's mind-reading abilities right back at him. Because, you know, the Force.

It's been a long while now since I watched it but it really didn't seem like she was mind reading him? I thought she just "read" him?

star wars is for normal people with their normal theatre snacks in their normal theater chairs. what did you expect?

She says something along the lines of "You fear you will never be as strong as Darth Vader," which shows that she was able to get inside his head.

and she's fucking ugly too

Close your mouth when you chew, fucking dirty sket

did you buy the Finn toy for your wives son?

youtube.com/watch?v=sg29Sa6QFes&t=144s

What about Poe?

Her character isn't the greatest, but you over exaggerating Cred Forumsfags are the most insufferable twats when you try to criticize anything that isn't inherently perfect.

A lot of these criticisms ARE things that you can very easily wrap your head around if you give it just a tiny bit of thought. But no, you'd rather ZOMGY ITS UTTER SHIT LOLXD

fuck this board gets more and more cringy by the minute.

>Talking to some normie in my class
>He asks me about the new star wars movie
>Say it was ok but not too good
>He starts ranting about how shit Rey was
My faith in humanity was restored a bit that day

>completely tools a skilled warrior

Who had a huge hole in his side.
Who had just had a bit of his soul destroyed.
And she didn't own him, she was running the entire time then used the force at the end to finally do something to him.

fucking christ.

She was looking at a screen with big fat buttons for each door. I think you're reaching.

>The monster didn't eat fin

It's a movie. You could apply this logic to 80% of films ever released.

Come watch in eggkara you cunts.

I actually think misogyny is a huge problem on Cred Forums and in society in generally but there are just as many Marty Stu's as there are Mary Sue's its not really a gender thing.

>expecting a normie to be able to be objective and critical of art

>art

Star Wars and the billions capeshit movies are making just prove you don't need talented actors, a good story, decent CGI or anything like that, just get a brand (SW, random superhero, etc) and put 90% of the budget in the marketing. Congrats! You just made 1 billion dollars worldwide.

>implying not art

what bothers me most is that they ignored logic to make the "resistance" like the rebel alliance.
somehow the "first order" was so powerful and the resistance fought them, even though the rebels defeated the empire ergo the resistance is actually just a part of the status quo preserving government forces.
doesn't make sense to me.
instead i would have liked to see the consequences of the revolution, ie economic crash, separatists etc etc basically the empire falls apart into civil war since the central power is too weak to keep it together.
would have been more realistic too, since that is what happens in the aftermath of a lot of revolution/regime changes.

The """""resistance""""""" was even backed by the republic.

It's so fucking stupid.

I thought they handled Finn's lack of training pretty well. I don't think kylo is that far into his training either. Finn manages to survive fighting an inexperienced and injured kylo ren but still gets his ass kicked instead of them having equal footing. Rey beating Kylo was bullshit though.

That Plinkett review tho