Two people wake up after sex

>sex scene
>people involved aren't sweaty as fuck, red-faced and the awkward moment where you put the condom on n make a random lame comment to diffuse the act is never made

more like
>two people wake up after sex
>man has the sheets up to his waist
>woman has the sheets up to her chin

alternatively
>two people wake up after sex
>they're wearing underwear

Is this normal for normies?

Been watching the Luke Cage show on netflix and apparently you can have sex with someone and never even ask their names.

>shower scene
>character doesn't spread his butt cheeks and obsessively try to clean his anus hole of poo residue

am I the only one who does this

>couple has sex
>cum everywhere
>goto sleep covered with cum and piss

do people really do this?

I just use some sort of wash cloth

Nope, I spread my cheeks to clean out my anus. Been bleeding regularly thanks to hemorrhoids at 25 too, so I have to clear that out now.

Not obsessively but I do it too

ENOUGH

I slept in a cheap hotel in Thailand and I literally heard this conversation through the thin walls of the hotel.
>tfw

>character has sex

be careful it's not pilonidal cysts. I had that once and the doc thought it was hemorrhoids.

Shit gets really painful if u don't get it removed

>shower scene
>character doesn't take a poop and force each pieces of corn down the drain with their foot

Cred Forums Pass user since June 2016.

>been pass user since like 2014-2015
>don't get my own signature
IT'S NOT FAIR

Yeah this monday I'm finding a doctor to check it out. It's absurd to be bleeding out more than a fucking woman does and to have a inflated bleeding anus almost every time I shit.

'since4pass' in options in post

Cred Forums Pass user since June 2016.

...

what happens if you get banned while using a Cred Forums pass? asking for a friend

Sent from my Apple™ iPhone™

>character buys a Cred Forums pass

Really?

Cred Forums Pass user since October 2016.

It kind of sucks, because the ban follows the pass and not the IP.

So remember to log out if you're banned, else it'll follow you around

testing

Cred Forums Pass user since November 2013.

Test

Cred Forums Pass user since December 2013.

>look at me, I'm a good goy!

I gotta shitpost fast, mate

Where are you getting piss from?

But yes I've done this. It's hot man. Cum all over her tits n collapse on top of her making a cum sandwich then just sleep. Very hot.

Actually I wonder if this will reset once my current pass runs out, since I bought a new yesterday with the sale on

>sleeping in your own cum
hmm

Show me an example of this

The Ductile Copper.

You literally have no taste or you have Alzheimer's.

When McNulty goes into that diner in the Wire and immediately fucks the waitress.

Don't really like the thought of getting cum smeared into my chest hair.

H O T
O
T

It moisturises you underneath it. First hand xp.

That was kino af tho

When the protagonist stands over the antagonist at the end of the movie with a gun pointed at his head. Then the antagonist says "I wasn't your father... but your brother all along..." and flashback of the protagonist and the antagonist during their youthful days playing starts and the protagonist lowers his weapon and cries. Then the antagonist trips the protagonist and wins the fight.

>Now you get to watch her leave,
>Out the window, guess that's why they call it window pane

Cred Forums Pass user since June 2016.

How the fuck would you know? Have you had sex?

test

Interesting

Would it work as a face cream too?

fucking hate it when that happens

get new ideas, fucking hollywood hacks

Knulty does it in the wire more than once

Ask your dad.

>hemorrhoids at 25
Nigger how fucking fat are you

Can't, he's dead

I'm /fit/ as fuck and I bleed out my ass periodically at age 23 as well.

I shit extremely hard.

I got them from being very constipated this one time. Must've been like 8 inch girth.

Im gay

Banshee Episode 1

Test

Cred Forums Pass user since October 2015.

HOW DO YOU WRITE SUCH A BAD LINE

>Character has a special signature on his posts and doesn't tell anyone else how he got them

You can just say your boyfriend/fling reamed you too hard, we're all adults here.

>Character doesn't read the thread and makes himself look like a dumb idiot

Cred Forums Pass user since November 2013.

>uses a Cred Forums Pass
>calls other people faggot

Test

He didn't call you a faggot, though.

He called you a dumb idiot

Ayy

...

TEST

Tfw cuck

big deal. Had my first hemorrhoid at 14 from straining so much during pooping.

Dude you probably have hemorroids because you spend too much time sitting (at least that's why i have them)
You just have to find pic related and that's it

banshee s01e01

Hi there! You seem to have unintentionally posted an image of "Pepe the Frog," a cartoon character often used by Neo-Nazis, White Supremacists, and other Far-Right Extremists to promote racist, Islamophobic, xenophobic, and anti-Semitic hate beliefs on the Internet. This character was recently categorized by the Anti-Defamation League of B'nai B'rith as a hate symbol, and your usage of such imagery qualifies the contents of your post as hate speech, which is liable to civil and criminal prosecution in many countries around the world. The moderators of this website are aware of this problem, and are actively working with us to find a solution. In the meantime, please remove your post from the forum if you can, and delete that image from your harddrive, as well as any other files containing "Pepe the Frog" or other hate symbols that might be in your possession. Please visit the Southern Poverty Law Center's website to find out more about what you can do to help combat Right Wing Extremism on the Internet. Together, we can eradicate hate! Thank you.

upvoted

>protagonist has his foreskin intact

>sex scene
>women has sex on top of the man with her bra on
Must be an American thing.

> Two characters wake up after sex
> Who are you?
> Your worst nightmare!

tbf, she was realistically average looking to be a total slut

Cred Forums Pass user since September 2016.

whatever

idiot

Cred Forums Pass user since September 2016.

kys

Or maybe, just maybe, they actually had a conversation or went out for a drink after she finished work, but there's not really any point in showing it?

PAY 2 SHITPOST

girls actually do this

early 2015?

Cred Forums Pass user since February 2015.

normie detected

Testicularcancer

This basically happened to me last night.

testin

This has actually happened to me twice but it wasn't after it was midway through.

I don't remember the names of about half the people I've slept with

Being gay is ez mode

and then she replied 'left hand' amirite? xDDD

...

Name 2 kinos

This probably won't work but

>two people have sex in the morning

Unrealistic and disgusting. Takes me out of the film.

>people have sex
wtf?

> Solaris (1972)
> Tokyo Monogatari (1952)

...

My gf literally woke me up this morning by rubbing my dick at 9am. We fucked for 45 mins and she went back to sleep while I'm on my phone shitposting.

>man has sex with woman
>she has an orgasm

Why is hollywood so out of touch?

Gross.

>My name is Charlie Bronson

I'd find it hot, from time to time. Make that any kind of lingerie or shirt or stuff.

My ex would use to want to take everything off, though, saying it'd be uncomfortable, otherwise. But anyway, I've been deprived of such pleasures.

delete this

>american movie
>something big happens in a city
>many cars crashes into eachother

Are americans really this bad at driving?

>country where people are literally so retarded that "driving automatic" is the norm
you really have to ask?

pretty normal, thats how it usually goes

whats up with morning wood though i never get how that shit works

>american movie
>cop chase scene
>atleast one cop is launched into the air
>and atleast two cop cars crashes into eachother
>sometimes a cop car rolls oven onto its roof

Really?

>characters have sex
>girl doesn't suddenly kick her leg and say "Stop fucking with my feet" in an unreasonably angry tone even though Im literally paying for this

>american movie
>character enters house and doesn't take of her/his shoes
>goes to the kitchen and takes out a bottle of water to drink

Right there with you. I either use a wash cloth or a soapy hand, squat down, and go to town on my anus. Afterwards I make sure to use the removable shower head to shoot water directly up my ass to make sure all the soap is gone.

>character has sex
>smokes immediately afterwards

since4pass

It helps relieve the buildup that lingers for a few minutes.

>character is about to have sex
>the woman doesn't laugh at his penis and tell him to get out

>american movie
>disaster film
>film takes place in the US, preferably New York City
>the statue of liberty is shown crumbling to pieces

All healthy males have increased testosterone levels in early morning producing boner.
Its not anything complicated,those levels are high because boy heals during sleep,testosterone as well as other hormones just happen to be going up in the few hours before waking up.

I hate morning sex. Stank ass breath and my dick isn't woke yet. Lol dont even touch me until I've had my coffee LMAO

>body heals*

I just squat, put a lot of shower gel in my hand and end it as fast as I can while making sure it's clean.

norman leave the premise rooooooooooooooo!

I'm sorry if it happened to you, mate, but unless you're banging absolute sluttiness and there is any kind of emotional connection in the two of you wanting to fuck, normal girls will never do this.

Third possibility: you have a micropenis. Welp.

lmao

>end it as fast as I can

but why?

>body heals overr night
>mind doesnt

this

You can get hemorrhoids from walking on hard surfaces all day or especially from lifting weights.

Test

soapy palm and I swipe it like a card between my buttcheeks till it's squeaky clean

Bra, garter belt, stockings and heels are all perfectly optional imo.

>Stank ass breath

Morning sex shouldn't involve kissing or foreplay. It's strictly about getting off quick and starting he day.

does it work?

Cred Forums Pass user since October 2015.

jessica jones 1st episode

>Implying this board isn't ridden with 14-17 yos
>Implying you're adult at 18
kek

rlly?

butts

test

>cop has messy house

Oh my fucking God this, or one awkward encounter then cut to them walking and talking deep in conversation

Underrated

>>shower scene
>>character doesn't spread his butt cheeks and obsessively try to clean his anus hole of poo residue
>am I the only one who does this

How

testing

My life.

The Reader was funny.

I have sex without knowing names but I've never gotten laid off of a single look.

I'm not really normal tier though.

Just a drug addict and that leads to sex sometimes

Alot of ppl on this site seem to have issues with their poop shoot.

I don't get it either

???

test

...

aids

since4pass

Yes it works if you're a 6'4 /fit/ person.

Test

since4pass

>/fit/
Please lurk more and dont fall for bs

The what?

lel

Okay then

goddamn this post is reddit as fuck

>character goes to a bar
>asks simply for a "beer" without specifying quantity or brand of beverage

>Two people wake up after sex
>Just put their clothes on and leave without taking a shower

>Two people wake up after sex
>Wearing their underwear

.

>characters have sex
>the man doesn't apologize during and afterwards

unless im in my own house I'll put my underwear back on after sex

>is given a beer
>takes a few sips
>moments later takes out wallet and puts a few bank notes on the counter
>leaves

>wakes up
>doesnt sneak out, go home and scrub his dick with bleach

>Male protagonist about to have sex
>Girl doesn't laughs at his penis and leaves
>Male character doesn't follows her with a bunch of dollars so she doesn't leaves
movies are so unrealistic these days lol

cunt

there are some girls with ugly boobs that look better inside a bra.

>doesnt sit and drink it while playing on phone
>doesnt order another
>another
>another
>watch any sport on tv
>another
>another
>one for the road
>one for the road
>last one
>leave

>character emters bank
>so is a bank robber
>everyone gets to the floor
>character remembers he forgot to turn off the oven and is facing the century old dilemma of risking getting shot by the robber escaping or getting his house burned down

>Sex on screen
>Woman laying there with hair all over the fucking place
>'Wow that was amazing!'
>2 minute scene at max

>two persons are having vigorous sex
>not even a fart or a queef is heard

Nugger

>People have sex
This doesn't happen in real life, right?

Cock

Nah, it's a meme.

Stupid fucking frog

Doesn't work faggot

Your doctor thought a pilonidal cyst was a hemorrhoid?

Was a doctor or nurse practitioner?

wut

Violence is never the answer

wat

We're all gonna make it, r-right?

>Something scientific is being explained
>Explanation gets interrupted
>In English please

Has to be the most frequent used method to get dumb people to understand something

It literally doesn't

This is the only thing in frogposting threads that actually happens in mainstream films on a regular basis. I can think of like five films that do this just from the last year or so.

...

in ENGLISH please

>Lol dont even touch me until I've had my coffee LMAO

Is this the most normie thing ever uttered?

>since4pass
>implying this shit is gonna work

wojack would never defeat pepe

No. If you haven't had sex by the time you're 21 it's over; thanks for playing, please try again.

I dont have a pass but lets see

>tfw 22

They cant tell c-can they?

Testing this cancerous new meme

Wojak and Pepe are best friends and united in feels against the normie horde.
Anyone claiming otherwise is lying

test..

>please try again

dubs

Too close to home

>tfw XX% of the population sees footfags as lepers

Women can literally detect virgins

Not their fault that your "country" is 30 years behind

delete Cred Forums

>redwood is a skinny manlet faggot

I literally couldnt be any less surprised

>He pays to shitpost

Whenever someone says "show me an example of this", I can't immediately think of one, but in this instance, this was my IMMEDIATE thought. Thx for posting, m8

>reddit as fuck
>as fuck
look who's talking

you just got BTFO

what the fuck is that thing in the shower

Straight in from reddit are you

it's that gay long-legged spurdo that made the rounds a while back

Should be [Jesus Christs internally]

do realfags actually pay for passes or are they all shills

Poo poo

what does such a pass give you, my overlord ?

public shame

>since4pass
did it work

Adds inches to your dick

>his mom doesn't drive him everywhere

>Characters are having sex
>The girl doesn't take her bra off

>girl takes her bra off for sex
>the camera angles for the scene are all positioned no where near the tits

>Characters are having sex
>No rimjobs given

>characters have sex
>character gets up and wraps blanket around their naked body to walk to bathroom

>interesting threads get deleted
>these unapologetically shit threads thrive

Not sure about these sort of episodes.

>male character has sex with a vietnam girl
>it ain't me starts playing

these are always the best threads on Cred Forums

worth $15 for sure

?

...

>characters takes a shit
>doesn't show signs of physical pain
>not even blood in the toilet

...

meme

>character goes to school
>its never penis inspection day, its not even mentioned as a possibility

...

No, it's just a movie myth.

>virgin shut-in: example post

when i have sex i normally slip on some underpants after we have sex but before we cuddle

not to be too gross or anything, but it helps with... semen leakage.

so this isnt that weird

>people have sex

That's not isley. And I'm 90% sure that's not ennui. I don't know the rest of them but

Mook pls

Jimmy Carr was a virgin until 26.

>unironically believing this

???

>characters have sex
>the girl covers herself up afterwards

you ever tried lying in bed naked without covers? its chilly, dude

IT FEELS GOOD MAN

That's why you use you naked body to keep her warm

test

...

or you can cuddle him under the covers, which is even cozier

plus that way if your roommate barges in or something, you arent both totally exposed

girls do this

fuck you

He also asking about heterosexual sex, user

If you weren't a fucking barbarian and used a bidet you wouldn't have "poo residue" in your ass.

>bang girl i was dating at the time
>she swallows my nut
>tries kissing me less than 10 seconds later
>gets mad when i ask her to brush her teeth

Girls, amiright?

Is this complete OC, or just edited?

I was a virgin until 23