What do you do Cred Forums?

stomp her pussy in with my dick

>be me
>in theater
>watching final scene of drive
>a real hero starts playing
>the driver blinks
>suddenly a wave of euphoria rushes over me
>I reach to pop the collar on my scorpion jacket
>I realize that I haven't bought one yet because I didn't know about it until watching this film which isn't over yet
>wait until the the very last frame of the credits before leaving the cinema, which is standard patrician viewing procedure
>head out to the snacks counter
>qt and fat dude serving
>start sweating
>avoid qt and go up to fat dude
>ask for a couple of crabs legs to tape onto the back of my white polo
>he shakes his head and shoots me the look that the kids at school usually give me
>feel sick fury build deep from within my stomach
>go out to parking lot
>wait hours for his shift to be over, nearly pass out
>he finally heads over to his car
>it's a Chevy Impala
>the most popular car in the state of California
>no one will be looking at him
>or so he thinks
>wait until he gets in
>leap onto roof
>pull pants down
>try to unleash epic seafood turd
>forgot about the jumbo two liter coke consumed whilst watching the movie
>start pissing uncontrollably
>cargo shorts are completely drenched
>he starts the car
>tumble backwards off the roof
>land on my neck
>can't feel my body anymore
>bowels release themselves loudly
>onlooker runs up to me
>"What the fuck are you okay?"
>look her in the eye
>stare intensely whilst smirking in a cool way
>"I guess there truly are no clean getaways"

i haven't seen that one before

I was happy during the peak of the real bean posting
Now I'm just sad and lonely

We can start the fire again, user. Put on your scorpion jacket, crack your knuckles, fire up a greentext. It's time to get to work.

What you got against Poe Dameron?

why are you such a faggot?

I NEET

You mean "zipper", dumbass?

I'm detecting signs of double trolling, should I engage?

>ask a cute girl from class if she wants to see a movie with me
>she actually says yes
>tell her "cool, pick me up at 8"
>give her a fist bump
>run home
>she arrives shortly before 8 to pick me up
>her dad is driving
>no one says a single word on the way to the theater
>as we're getting out of the car I hold out my hand to her dad and cough
>he just stares at me
>shake my hand impatiently
>his daughter looks like she's about to cry
>he hands me a $20
>politely inform him that food doesn't grow on trees and keep my hand out
>he hands me another $10
>roll my eyes and say "thanks a lot, guy"
>buying our tickets, "one for Drive please and thank you"
>cute girl starts crying
>"Did your dad not give you any money for the movie?"
>give her a fist bump and go inside
>we didn't go on a second date