AYE BUT AT WHAT COST

youtube.com/watch?v=QOZzFXolGJc

This a new one, cats?

AHM OAN A PERMO

Limmy's show. Comparable to any single-comedian focused Sketch show (for example, Kroll show, the jon dore show)

Limmy does great bits akin to local access tv humor. It's very absurd but not as dry as a lot of english humor. And no fucking laugh track.

One day Limmy will hang himself from the Finnistoun Crane while wanking, just for maximum attention.
I hope death comes to him soon.

REQUIEM YA CUNT!

He hasn't been taking antidepressants for a long time

>local access tv humor
Limmy would destroy you in a minute for this patter.

He's a big guy

Maybe he'll slash his wrists again then.

THE BEAST!

...

>People trying to type in scottish accents and chronically misunderstanding Limmy

Keep posting these it proves he is no longer funny.

MADE WAE A TRADE

I don't know how else to describe dial a quest and it's one of my favourite bits. Suck my fucking dick, dude.

youtube.com/watch?v=mD32PZ0Skgs

xD

m'oan then ya radge

What a weird looking dick.

is that real what the fuck

This dude takes way too many fucking pictures of himself naked

Do native english speakers understand him perfectly? I have a really hard time understanding most of what he is saying.

I don't smoke dog ends.

REQUIEM!

>butthurt tcheuter

Limmy is ours you ugly cunt

Build wall.

I understand him better than people in my own country. Anglo cucks get fucked

T.. Canadian with Scots parents

>LEAP CHASM

...

Limmy is an affluent middle class bloke who lives in an affluent middle class area of Glasgow who deliberately utilises the thickest dialect he can because he is a sociopathic contrarian who thinks he's being rebellious by refusing to modify his language for anyone.
The irony is, a real ned would kick his cunt in in two mins.

"Please laugh at my funny pictures or I'll start crying and slash my wrists again!"

THE BEAST!

...

He lives in Partick you fucking retard.

I bet you're some glasgow uni wanker

>real ned

Yep, confirmed glasgow uni wanker.

Do us a favour and kill yourself Tarquin.

"I will do anything for the attention. Please piss on me."

>Partick
Yup. Specifically the snobbiest part, Broomhill, near Victoria Park, in a giant apartment.
Get it up ye ya fuckin prickend.

I'm Welsh so I'm adept in shit accents, I can understand the Scottish perfectly

...

LES PORTE

DID YER NAME AWWAYS RHYME WI' YOKER OR DID IT USED TA BE LIKE SMITH OR SUM'IN

>Get it up ye ya fuckin prickend.

Tarquin please kill yourself

EY LAD? ....WHATS YER 'HING?

I'm British and I can understand it, but the Scottish can be fucking weird and they make a whole new language and then even I'm lost.
youtube.com/watch?v=le_uNGdpa4c

Naecunt calls anycunt Tarquin, mate. You'll have to pretend to be a ned a bit harder.

shite patter, cats

Why do you uni wankers insist on typing like that?

We all know the second you open your mouth you sound like a Tory voter. Stop using the word ned also.

Also another reminder that you literally should end your life.

I think you should kill yourself asap, cats.

>cunt from Gloucestershire tries to do Glasgow banter

Abject. Only the instagram/vine generation find this gash humourous.

Thankfully the chinese are buying out all the English cunts so all the glasgow uni fags will only be speaking in mandarin in 10 years.

Go on.

>humourous
HAHAHA! Non-brit caught out trying to spell words in English KEK

a dildo in Thatcher's dead arse

You must be gutted you've been spotted. KEK

"no"

why do people take pictures of themselves in public restrooms

is there anything more disgusting

>public restrooms
KEK this just gets funnier.

CLASS A DESIGNER DRUG ECSTASY
>DESIGNER DRUG ECSTASY
>DESIGNER DRUG ECSTASY
>DESIGNER DRUG ECSTASY
>DESIGNER DRUG ECSTASY
>DESIGNER DRUG ECSTASY
>DESIGNER DRUG ECSTASY

eating shit

Nice reeing m8

>KEK

Oh shit he used his money to buy a decent house for himself, his missus and his kid in a half decent part of the city, what a fucking monster, his banter is immediately nullified and he's no longer a true scotsman.

Away up your arse. What's this 'real ned' shit, neds are neds, they flip out for the bantz or coz they're wasted or they don't, it matters fuck all who or what you are. Tho Limmy was up here recently and all the young team who heard came and got selfies with him, so whatever man.

t.easterhouse

I'm from glasgow and work in the building in OPs pic AMA guys ;)

Whits wrang wi that eh, well apart fae them bein ah pear ah fuchin heavy roasters?

t. pardner pretending to be British
You forgot to add "KEK" at the end, you fucking spastic.

Ignore him, he's either a tcheuter or a glasgow uni cunt.

Maybe both.

...

who /anniesland/ here

Who the fuck says
>pretending to be British
>British
when talking about parts of Glasgow? Fuck you're bad.

>toilet attendant

Someone explain his accent

I'd say don't tell the boss hen, but ahm ur the boss, heh heh heh

You think you are doing authentic scottish banter but it's piss poor.

...

You'd shite yourself in Easterhouse mate. What's left of it.

Haud yer wheesht son

Not you, that's for sure.

>glasgow
>typing in perfectly intelligible King's
yikes

I guarantee this thread is full of Aberdonians.

Aberdonians literally only talk about Glasgow.

"Weegie this weegie that y'ken?" is all I hear

I'm English and yes I can understand him

Sir Alex Ferguson is a Scot who's sometimes hard to understand because he mumbles as well as the accent

youtube.com/watch?v=uRILfAi69sk

That fuckin' accent man

Aberdonians can't spell their own name mate.

Not true they also talk about the oil rigs.

Don't be daft, it's fine. Try going further east than the Fort next time you're nearby. Nip over to the Shanny or something at least.

I'm getting.......... a tattoo

Shite. I used to work there. Nice try.

>mfw I shop at waitrose with my bru money

Good work cats. That's the final evidence. It's 'buroo' ya fucking tosser.

Try what? I'm saying Easterhouse isn't an automatic kicking for anyone no from the East End, which it's self-evidently not. It's not my problem if folk are too pussy to believe me.
Take a 38 to the end and go and buy a fucking big mac or something then leave again if you want to dare the big bad Easterhouse and have a mad story to tell your mates. There's a cop shop right there, you'll be totally safe.

I'm talking about government money not the bear from the jungle book

He really is a fat sack of shit

>a dildo in Thatchers dead arse

>mfw I see somebody skinning up down the cloide soide.

Stop ripping on Aberdonians, my dad's from Aberdeen

>It's a scots take a 15 minute break from their heroin binge to post about a shitty """"""comedian""""" episode

>no one's mentioned Limmy vs John Cleese

this whole thread is bait and I just fell for it

What farm is your mum from?

You've fucked it. Piss off now. KEK

Are there somewhere to find scripts for this show? Tried goodling "Limmy Show scripts" but come up with nothing but blank pages.

...

>granite city

M E N T I O N E D
E E
N N
T O
I wew I
O T
N N
E E
D E N O I T N E M

You Scots sure are a contentious people.

The "uni wanker" dick is not Scottish.

lads would you relax

you too

well you're right there pal.

People trying to talk scottish when online is just embarrassing. You know they're putting it on. It's more difficult to type that shit out, but they have to be special, don't they?

Lighting and mirrors

I can't remember these At What Cost sketches.

Is it the nightmare Balamory ones?

>KEK

>have your name alwyas rhymed wit yohker or did it use to be smiff or sumfin

why's his dick look like he doesn't have any foreskin, like his dick is just one colour, no tip.

>a ram raped his maw

idiot

fuckin idiot

explain it then sherlock, that's not foreskin, looks more like a dildo

>tfw I learned how to do an Aberdonian accent by listening to this guy

youtube.com/watch?v=v_guDN7IZ0U#t=1m9s

GEE I WONDER WHY

who the fuck is making dildos with bulging veins, that's fucked up

You're an absolute specimen.

could you stop being a runt for 5 seconds

I have no clue what he's saying

Fuck you, you inbred kilt wearing cockwash

I like Scots aside from the unbearable chip on the shoulder they all seem to have.
It's fitting that the "No True Scotsman" argument was named after the Scots because fuck me, once they get going they're the most unbearable pack of vipers out there.

They all desperately try to one-up each other, ironically by bragging about being lower class than one another.

"I'm Scottish"
>no yoor no, no if yoor no fae Glesgae
>naw, no if yoor no fae Dundee
>naw bet he's fae Glasgae, the POSH BIT a Glesgae
>bet he goes tae uni an aw
>yir no Scottish mate
>yir no Scottish unless yir fae ma bit a Glesgae
>fuck ya that's posh an aw
>naw it isnae yoor posh yir maw votes tory ya bam

It's entertaining until you realise they're serious and they do it CONSTANTLY. It's fucking pathetic. I predict I've even triggered some of them now who want to make fun of me for where I'm "fae"
I eagerly await laughing at their strawmen responses that only prove me right.

I will say that other than this one flaw they're pretty based.

Yeah. A lifetime of exposure to Scottish "culture" has ensured I can understand their rambling.

ok settle down

If it makes you feel any better, I'm from Caithness and I can't stand that city shite. They're fine for a long weekend, but fucking hell; the people there are feral savages. You can't even take a walk without someone somewhere giving you shit about something.
And it's not "banter", it's something animal.

As if Englanders aren't constantly arguing about the Northerners and Southerners.

As if every fucking nation on the earth doesn't do this.

English cunt.

Hating the English does not a culture make.

>tfw waking up at half 5 every day now

where did my life go wrong

Fuck off back to irrelevancy, porridge wog.

>he's never been to a ceilidh

>it's a scotland and england argument despite both places being the same episode

I'm Scottish and I 100% agree

who voted no here

I didn't vote but would've voted yes

wish i placed a bet on it like i wanted to.

youtube.com/watch?v=Os2uKvm0dhY

>scottish accents

MUMS HAD HER HEAD KICKED IN

Daily reminder to remember Britain's Got Talent and vote yes.

>As if every fucking nation on the earth doesn't do this.
They actually don't. Not anywhere near the level Scots do, anyway.
Scots have an obsession with racing towards the bottom. Also they utterly resent and spite any Scottish person who succeeds in any way. They've "sold out" and aren't REALLY Scottish just because they're not dying in a fucking Glasgow council house

i feel embarassed for them

vintage limmy

youtube.com/watch?v=rdChs1CSs2E

Dunno where you live but have never experienced any of this, I'm assuming you associate purely with neds

You're clueless.

That first year of psychology is really paying off mate

There's literally nothing worse than a posh Scot accent. It just sounds so rude. At least a posh Englishman sounds jolly at time.

Aye there's nae need for that son

>tfw dying in an ex-council house on the dole

I'm living the dream

>it's a scots stay in the kingdom to drag britain down episode
kys

>on the dole for a few weeks
>want me to work at another job centre in springburn
nah, that's not me.

We're all hand in hand in the deep end now, don't let go.

>I eagerly await laughing at their strawmen responses that only prove me right.
lol

post your favourite scottish grime

youtube.com/watch?v=2ZOAzbH8tdU

Yeah you can't actually live on the dole anymore. I say dole but I really get disability for my "depression".

You have 12 weeks of dole money before you're forced to start looking for work "under active supervision" which means you go in for an hour and you have to prove you've applied for jobs. You actually have to go to the interview, it sucks.

Anyway I just go to the doctor now every 6 months and say i want to kill myself and I get my anti-depressants (into the bin they go) and I get my money.

Madman

What are you implying officer?

Thom Yorke?

I could've went on ESA if I wanted to but thought it was too depressing and would've made me even more lazy

Living the dream.

I've not worked for around 4 years now and I'd say I'm pretty lazy. It comes in waves though, sometimes you feel like you're doing loads.

My life is pretty empty at the moment and I rarely go outside. Once a week for the shopping and that's it, sometimes once every two weeks.

You're accusing me of stealing a chocolate egg with a toy inside?

then they do a drug test and clears you

basically the same situation as you, not even depressed just had avolition for years.

Have we ever tried to get Limmy in one of these threads?

>implying

My appointment with the doctor is literally less 20 minutes long. My doctor is this nice woman that (probably rightfully) feels sorry for me and once she's done the whole "Oh darling, oh sweety that's okay..." bit she signs my shit and I'm off. There's no real oversight anymore, I'm sure they've just signed me off as a lost case. I was supposed to get cognitive therapy two years ago but nothing ever came of that.

THIS ONE'S FER YOU MAGGIE

youtube.com/watch?v=5jlI4uzZGjU

>ctrl f kill jester
>0 of 0
c'mon now

Check out Daft Punk's new single "Get Lucky" if you get the chance. Sound of the summer.

had a cousin who was forced to do cognitive
said it was shit and that she only wanted to talk to someone else and not an entire group
killed herself 2 years ago

kinda feel for her tho, her parents were shit and pretty much all of her friends had killed themselves as well

>ask for money and get advice huh
>ask for advice git money twice huh

what did he mean by this?

youtu.be/5uUuRD_atfI

Does it work, guys? I'm scared to try.

that sucks. was she hot

she was a cutter and were anorexic

is that a yes?

kill user

damn she sounds hot

god this fucking sucks she could have lived with me and we'd both be happy

get troll

The scottish have the same problems the Danes have. They both lost their the majority consonants in after a centuries long drunken stupor.

You are dead. Game over.

the problem with the danish is that they have too many
it's the reason why the danes are taught swedish at school so they can have an easier time learning shit, not even joking

it's clearly a dildo m8

Being Glaswegian and getting into an argument with another Glaswegian while in the company of people who aren't Scottish is a beautiful thing m8

>there's a company out there making veiny dildae
can't explain that

OMG I hate Danes now

Ah knoo what yer thingken
Limmy's the wan treppen
Limmy's the wan commin up with this daft shet

plz don't do that, it's bad

This might come as a surprise but most dildos have veins, user

CATHCART REPRESENT

The main problem is the "Danish soft D". They throw that shit into everything and literally makes every word sound like you forgot exactly what you were saying half way through it, scottish is even worse in that every consonant has a soft version so it just sounds like

>AOUHIOUHOJU

youtu.be/77LSqPpzulo?t=2m7s

>Fife

youtube.com/watch?v=Rc76FsKo37A

been looking at a lot of dildos eh?

youtube.com/watch?v=ix852eFDhMA

ahm sorree did ah oopset yee

What's your address? Want to meet up and suck my dick?

KAMELOSER!

what in the steaming fuck are these new captchas

gook moot really needs those passes huh

who /govanhill/ here?

Mount Florida checking in

>youtube.com/watch?v=mtWWo1ac1Yw
how old is this girl

How many muslims/gypsies rape you daily?

As-salamu alaykum

...

130 Old Castle Road

Sure, but only if you take me for a pint in the Smiddy first.

What age is this girl.

0 m8

she's 16 no worries

I mean you're still a dirty bastard but legally you're alright

Mate that's a comfy looking house. Is it comfy?

>mere feet from a corner shop and barber's
Must be a nice place, you renting?

Old enough,

>literally across the street from a takeaway and a corner shop
wew

is that 2.30 a pint or 2.30 for 3 pints?

fuckin LOOK

It;s a pretty sweet spot.

Cheap rent and the pakis, kebab shop and pub are all seconds away.

You just made an enemy for life!

>2.30 for 3 pints

You realise that place would be fucking mobbed if that was the case

£8 for 3 bottles of wine
this aint spain

What kind of neighbours do you have? Mostly whites or is this muslim area?

i am unfamiliar with the beer costs of foreign countries

One of the few I legit struggle to understand him in
youtube.com/watch?v=jQAjGmPtlN0

this video makes me want to die

Mostly white and well-off second and third generation immigrants.

YOU'LL BE WATTIN' ME TAE SAY IT AGAIN
HEHEHEHEHEHEHE

JUMP THE CHASM

>one for me, and two... for me.

Aye what you going to do it about? Phone the polis?

Pure waaah

when you can understand this you can understand any accent

You're training Google's self driving cars for free.

>Been married twenty year
>Coulda killed her and been oot by noo
HEHEHEHEHEHEHE

is he ricky gervais?

Cool I'll be done in an hour, wear a dress if you have one mate

/thread

It's buzzer 1/1.

>tfw you don't know how to pronounce chocolate choux

/dethread

need a jobby

See that? THAT'S THE RRROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND

I think it's a fucking shame we have the Scottish Cringe but I do and it's hard to read online. I want to join in but am no Scots enough :(

what?

a dildo in thatcher's dead arse

reading scottish twitter genuinely makes me wish i was english

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scottish_cringe

scottish cringe is a lie. jocks are the most arrogant in the world

youtube.com/watch?v=QH2KwQ4eM2A

literally kill yourself

>there's an actual wiki page on this.

almost as bad as Korean Han.

>embarrassed they're part of the uk
they're not alone in that

Because there wasn't a focused effort to erase the Scots language for hundreds of years right? And there aren't plenty of people who feel embarassed speaking or hearing anything but RP?

this is why

Who fucking cares mate, kill yourself

Is there anything better than a just about legal wank?

'nit'

t. Maw Broon

*men

Fuck off Joe Rogan I'm not buying your brain pills

a just about legal shag

nothing better than getting a blowie off a 15 yr old southside schoolie

get cebeebies on man

hello fellow heemster

If only captchas were used to organize my porn folders.
>Select all anal gapes

that's a good idea, stealing it.

Drumchapel up in this motherfucker.

Me in job interviews

Something is really not right with that video

people like this make me want to live in britland but then i get scared that i'll get beheaded

It's like the black/nigger difference
There are Scots and jocks

And I agree, jocks are fucking awful people.

I work in Govanhill, wouldn't like to live there.

>go to sleep with music on my phone
>get woken up to "WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT PROSTATE CANC'A

what do you work as

>Writing On Games in the comments

can't stand that cunt

Where do you work?

Who /Dennistoun/ here

Not gonna say mate, would give the game away.

Pathetic.

How much do you make

Jelly.

I can't cum from blowjobs. I think its a problem with me though not the girls.

I'M CLEAN. I'M FOCKIN CLEAN'

>I can't cum from blowjobs.
Probably because of the obvious reason.
you masturbate too much you fucking shutin

still game > limmys show

debateable

"you"

Rab C > both

>It's a Scots desperately try to convince themselves that they have any national identity episode

do you remember your first blowjob?

>it's a paki pretends to be an englishman season

watch it paulie

other than being scottish they're not really comparable, sitcom and sketch show

did you mean chewin the fat?

bastard

>Remaining in the union
>Any year

Remember when the Scots were given the chance to actually act on all their "sovereign nation" shit and immediately backpedaled?

nope

How the fuck did this thread got almost 300 posts?

Lol i thought you were taking the piss up untill this post.

Here we are lad
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scottish_independence_referendum,_2014

interesting

There's just the 5 of us having a bants sesh

men wi a trade

He is actually from Carnwadric which is a shit tip

>affluent middle class area of Glasgow
A ghetto in Edinburgh or Aberdeen.

>tfw i've had to sit through this with my dad, who is recovering from prostate cancer

fucking awful

AH'LL PUNCH YER CUNT IN, AY?

>glasgow and dundee
there's your answer

they think they have a monopoly on what constitutes scottish identity despite the fact that they are all irish immigrants

you won't encounter this shite in edinburgh or aberdeen

Limmys Show has a quarter of bad material (half sometimes) whereas Still Game at its worst is still entertaining.

watching scottish people go at it is pretty funny

Who /Aberdeen/ here?

shithole

you're one of those cunts on Scottish Twitter highlights aren't you.

some ae dose cunts are pure mental though tbqh familia

>mfw Cred Forums is full of sc*ts

You're a fucking moron mate. Naecunt said he didn't come from a shithole only what he does now.

get merked famalam

>>>/brit/

you will be sentenced to LIIIIFW LIFFFBE LIFE IMPRISONMENT

limmy.com/

what happened to the rest of his website?

Jokes on you I hate all brits

alright rasheed don't bomb me now

it commited suicide

God forbid somebody makes a bit of cash and buys a nice home for his family. Of course you can't be Scottish if you don't sleep in the gutter and chug buckfast for breakfast according to the fenian mob.

Typical Glumgow parasite mentality. Rope yourself you unwashed ned.

this is like the opposite of scottish cringe

it's like performative scottishness to signal how scottish you are

it would be okay if it was funny but it's not

Weak effort at emulation and you said all this earlier.

Wasn't me. We all think you're scum cunts outside of Lanarkshire believe it or not.

>limmy thread reaching bump limit
He's finally made it lads

trying way too hard with the trolling patter mate
it's shite

limmy.com/flash/demons/

it's mostly still there

>trolling patter
What are you slavering you utter spastic?

Foetal alcohol syndrome must have done your brain in Declan.

Believe it or not, more than one person has noticed the No True Scotsman thing in Scottish people
Maybe that's where the name came from, huh?

But I guess everyone has just been "trolling" for years

I SAID DON TELL DA BOSS
BUT AM THE BOSS HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

UBLOCK

SHE'S TURNED THE WAINS AGAINST US

Trying too hard mate it's not working. It's pish in fact.

>mfw pornhub and some other sites somehow get around ublock but youtube can't

>WAINS
What a fucking twat.

Fuck off back to Ireland you soap-dodging reprobate

do you think he could of conceived

>TURNNNED THE WEEENSS AGAINNNST UUSS

if he was a middle class glaswegian?

>could of
Fucking moron.

>WEEENSS
Have another attempt.

wee yins

She's turned the wanes against us

SHE'S TURNED THE WAYNES AGAINST EES

she's turnt the Wayans against us

She has turned the wines against me

MARRY FUCK KILL ENSLAVE

she's pure turnd the weans agaynst uz

youtube.com/watch?v=RkuWrmxN7hg

my wife has turned my children against me

Does anyone even understand what he's saying?

>wife
How can you not understand such a basic sentence?

nope, it's esoteric avant-garde comedy

you're not happy

she's turned the Waynes against us

what did i misunderstand?

...

youtube.com/watch?v=Xan2xU-ZFic

>scotland

youtube.com/watch?v=JfkDzXuWhkk

>france

>this is where they come, paedophiles come to Ayrshire
Ayrshire confirmed for shithole

it's like a white version of The Wire

>£10 a go

damn that's a bargain

rip thread

>I'm British
>british

No you're not