Last thread was good lads, let's keep it going

Last thread was good lads, let's keep it going

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best girl

>generals
Neo Cred Forums is full swing again

Imagine getting cast into Hufflepuff, being the family disappointment and having to learn a suicide spell.

Not counting Ron, who should've ended up with her?

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>tfw she grew up to be a fat double-chinned shit IRL

Are you kidding me, /lit/?? The last thread proved that Harry Porter was one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

Snape

Finally a breath of fresh air unlike one of the dullest shitposts in the history of movie shitposts. Each shitpost following /lit/ wizards and their pals from /r9k/ as they fight assorted kinographers has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the lack of film analysis the shitposts only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of images and pasta?all to make fantasy unfantastical to make witchcraft seem kiddie.

Perhaps the die was cast when Quentin vetoed the idea of shitposting on /lit/ directing the shitposts at Cred Forums, he made sure the shitposts would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-posting for his (You). The shitposts might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-atmospherical anaylsis in its refusal of critique and watching for the plot. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the shitposts are g-g-good though
"No!"

The writing is dreadful; the books were terrible and the films were much better.
As I read, I noticed that everytime he shitposts, Quentin wrote instead that Brave New World "was a low tier form of art."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that shitpost was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. The shitposters mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that he has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of shitpost by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are shitposting at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you shitpost you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

Anybody rewatched/reread recently?

Notice anything new worth talking about?

I'm personally thinking that Ron was the one who was originally going to be Triwizard champion when JK was still thinking about killing him off. Then he would have died in the graveyard, leaving Harry to overcome his best friend's death and seek revenge against Voldemort

Man, that would have been so much better

>>gets called out on being pure letterboxd
>>you're pure letterboxd
>>and I mean it
>I'm shaking
What an idiotic uncreative reply, did you really just copy my reply and change a few words?

Well fuck boy?

I've been noticing some parallels between half blood prince and chamber of secrets

Obviously Tom Riddles diary and Snapes potion textbook
In Chamber the school being threatened from within by a monster, in HBP Draco thinks he’s a monster and is threatening the school from the inside.
Both times harry thinks they are Draco
Borgin and Burkes
Harry and Malloy Duel
Girls Lavatory Potion Making vs Mens Lavatory Duel
Potion making in general is a theme, polyjuice, amortentia, liquid luck, Voldemorts potion
I forget about the books but in the movies fawkes fly from the chamber of secrets to the castle and in half blood prince flys away from Hogwarts at the end
Aragóg is introduced/dies
Hermione repair Harry’s glasses, Luna repairs Harry’s nose.
Lockhart unsuccessfully repairs Harry’s arm, Snape successful repairs Dracos torso
The bathrooms are flooded
Katie cursed, bludger cursed, ms norris hermione colin cursed
There is blood written on the Hogwarts wall when the chamber of secrets Is opened. Dumbledore wipes his blood on the wall of the cave to open the entrance.
The only times we see the herbology gardens are in both
Harry and Ron look over Hermione petrified in the hospital wing. Hermione and Harry look over Ron in the hospital wing
Our first introduction to a horcrux, harry destroys one, our second introduction to a horcrux (the ring) harry fails to destroy one (the fake locket)
Dumbledore sees Harry under the invisibility cloak in Hagrids before he leaves the grounds in chamber of secrets. Dumbledore puts harry under the invisibility cloak before he dies in half blood prince
I AM LORD VOLDEMORT
I’M THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE
In the films because of Isaac ad libing Lucius attempt a killing curse on Hogwarts grounds. In half blood prince Draco fails to attempt one but a killing curse is landed on Hogwarts grounds


There was one or two more that i forget

Always felt like it should have been Harry.

The two had similar interests, were both raised by muggles, and had undying loyalists towards one another (something Ron didn't have; he abandoned them several times).

Had it not been for the shitty Epilogue after DH, I could have easily seen Harry and Hermione developing romantic feelings towards one another.

Everyone.

She should have been shared out.

6 is the worst one right after CoS. I won't go into the story issues because I haven't read the books. Instead the cinematography and the acting performances.

First, why is everything grey? The lighting is all fucked up and everything looks the same. I can't for the life of me understand why they would do it that way. The lighting outdoors is exactly the same as inside, that doesn't make any sense(Probably because Delbonel is complete hack and always has been). And the pictures are all blurry, so the whole film feels like a dream. A bad dream, that is. It has the best cinematography out of all the Potter films, but it is still quite honestly the ugliest film I have seen since Mad Max Fury Road.

And then there's the acting. The leading 3 and the other teenagers are terrible. Always have been, always will be. But what disappoints me is that established actors like Gambon, Carter and Brodbent can give performances like this. The whole thing is so badly acted that it at times is actually hard to watch. I feel sorry for Rickman, the only one who seems to care about this production.

Yates is a terrible director and should stick to awful cafe dramas or whatever he was doing before.

a dumpster

Harry Potter is one of those fantasy universes that could be quickly resolved with a firearm

>another pasta autist

this is literally /k/ level autism
Cred Forums and /k/ are the worst boards

>cant act
>no comedic timing
>no redeemable features

Either picture related or Nicola Peltz in a blue is the warmest color remake

thank you
I'll take that as praise

Surely you mean cum

I always felt the same way but I only watched the movies. From what I heard in the books he couldn't stand her that much without Ron. I guess they were just more compatible in the movies than in the books.

>d-d-don't discuss movies just post pictures of muh washed up whyfoo and ebic great taste/bad taste posts
Neck yourself

Me she's perfect

yeah but guns in Harry Potter would have been cringe as fuck, he's not fucking Rambo

t. Cred Forums child molester

Threads been up for 10 minutes and the autistic haters are blowing their loads.

he's also british

so he wouldn't have gotten his hands on one anyway


but to stay on topic: an armed society would have never allow Voldemort to rise to an evil overlord

The book argument is a meme. They worked together well while Harry was in the triwizars tournament, while Ron was shagging Lavender in 6, and when Ron abandoned them in DH. See a theme here? Ron always fucks them both over, and they grow stronger from it.

Bump. There is no need to be intimidated by me

Let them sperg out, and when these threads get more established they'll go back to baneposting, frogfu posting, and being autistic elsewhere.

It's time for Cred Forums to change

If you thought Harry was characterless in the movies the books were much worse, I dont even know how to describe him, the movies made them seem normal. From what you've heard youre right in the books Harry was kind of an ass

Too much feel

>Voldemort drew first blood!

Find me a fucking stream

Try Putlocker maybe senpai?

no stream my own files, i got em all

>Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova

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Mike Newell is a fucking maniac.

I joke about how he would be like on set, constantly running around yelling, harassing the dp, smacking extras on the ass. But I know Emma watson said he was really energetic. Compared to cuaron and yates, who she said she came to understand his quiet thoughtful, slow directing.

Newell is a madman. Acid is a good way to put it even though its wrong. Everyone is out of their minds so much so that hermione seems normal.

Just look at the directing if Sir Michael Gambon, who read Prisoner of Azkaban prior to filming it and who gave a most natural performance which Cuaron commented on loving his eccentric slight irish twinge. Newell just fucking sets the amp to eleven. Dumbeldores screaming, Barty Crouch is licking himself and the Olympic styled wizard tournament is treated as a gladiator match.
To be honest cocaine. Cocaine is the word we are looking for. By the second half of the film it starts to work because everything is consistently batshit and the camera is whipping around and everyone is YELLING.

Its like he based the entire tone off mad eye moody who incidentally steals the film.

I enjoy it but my god people who think GoF is well directed or a good adaptation are bonkers. Ootp is exponentially better. I would put it as the worst with the first one. Not that its bad but the others are better

bump

Which one Cred Forums?

agreed. is there a worse bit of direction in history then after killing boss wizard and then confronted by potter snape says "I'm the half blood prince" and walks off screen?
death of the mentor is a trope older than dirt for a reason, it should work effortlessly and yet yates sucked every ounce of gravitas out of these two scenes with his incomprehensible need to rush through all the material
and the attempts at seriousness/serious acting were so laughable as well, it felt almost like watching a korean film at times
other grievances include: no consistency of magic powers, terrible continuity and nothing really makes any sense(mind you I haven't read any of the books except for the one with the train cover)
the only thing that saved that abortion/assembly line product was delbonnel and even then this ashy shit he put out wasn't the original look
1&2 are the worst though. 1 is like a school play and 2 is just a fucking cluster fuck

>in history then after killing boss wizard and then confronted by potter snape says "I'm the half blood prince" and walks off screen?
congrats the direction was great, snape kicks harrys wand away like a dick

The original though she needs to show more of her freckles

pastebin.com/wwtmhSKY

I remember Rowling saying that HBP was meant to be very similar to CoS when it was about to come out.

Also: they are the only books where Ginny is relevant

Ravenclaw and Gryfindor.

yea lots of similarities

As a long standing HP fan I hate reading these threads because they are always full of the worst movieplebs who don't know anything about anything. I'll be gone now.

>being a bookfag
>thinking they arent complementary
top pleb

I like the movies, only thing I hate is that it completely ruined how I envisioned the characters. I can't re-read the books without seeing the actors, and it pisses me off

To be fair Rowling wasnt a good writer so they really were all caricatures. Fun to read but not Harry was no realistic and I can't remember anything at all about him that gives him some character to care about

fuck. but Harry was not*

But that's why Hermione Lewd fics are so enjoyable, user.

not an argument you fucking Cred Forums movie buff.

>Nagini cockblocking Hermione

>general
off to a certain website with you

lol

>harry potter came out 50 years ago

youtube.com/watch?v=InbY9rHMee0

youtube.com/watch?v=3MvHMPKg6oE

youtube.com/watch?v=hkSA4l7sWl8

youtube.com/watch?v=GXsIjIJAtpg

youtube.com/watch?v=yjeER4_tGTs

youtube.com/watch?v=ySvXYETgOws

youtube.com/watch?v=Cebne3MTloU

youtube.com/watch?v=nLnqd707Fnw

youtube.com/watch?v=rEtMed6_1b8

youtube.com/watch?v=uLba3KtlLQM

youtube.com/watch?v=YpsBZRnjE20

youtube.com/watch?v=qAXfQzKod1I

>found out my Patronus is a Rattlesnake, I'm a Slytherin at Hogwarts, and a Horned Serpent at Ilvermorny...

I'm a fucking snake niggas

Too bad it'll take 50 more for you to develop some taste

>tfw patronus is a fucking dolphin

Those questions are horseshit

>God made wizards and God made muggles, but Cam Colt made them equal.

DO YOU PREFER DARK OR LIGHT?

SOFT OR HARD?

ERECT OR FLACCID?

DARK HARD AND ERECT

>YOUR PATRONUS IS A CHICKEN

SHIT

Thats a cool patronus. Mines a Chestnut Mare

Harry always liked Ron the best out of his two friends.

With Hermione you are right about her undying loyalty, she stuck by him when he was an asshole, all the times everyone else hated him and when Harry stopped talking to her because she told McGonagall that the anonymous out of nowhere Christmas gift might be a trap from the mass murderer that had just snuck into the castle to try to kill him.

She considered him a better wizard and person than her even when he was only better than her at one school subject, she talked so much about him to her bf that he got jealous about it and I honestly can't see why would she ever fall for Ron over Harry.

But we all know that HarryxGinny and RonxHermione happened so they could all be one big happy family. It's just more fun picturing Harry spending Christmas with all the Weasley family than with Hermione's literally who muggle family.

That's sort of the point though, Harry is just the average boy come from a shite childhood forced into a suicide mission to stop the most powerful dark wizard to ever live.

I know but but even if you are average it doesnt mean you have to be devoid of traits. the point im saying i felt the movies actually made me care about him since he was at least a little more likeable.

Yeah part of it apparently was 'wishful thinking' or whatever that means by Rowling. She even admitted it. I guess that dance scene between Harry and Hermione in the movie made her realized she made a mistake.

I wonder if the inevitable Harry Potter reboots will change the endgame pairings.

>one chance at being a wizard
>sorted into Hufflepuff

Just kill me, desu

that dance scene is good even if they are just friends which they were. it shows them at their low point and when they are done dancing and hermione walks away it enforces the grim reality of everything, harry is kind of wrecked that he can only cheer his friend up for a minute and they are back to being in danger and shes willing to die for him.

ron and hermione always had a thing going but harry and hermione had good chemistry too

>shes willing to die for him
How can Ron be okay with this? It just shows if Hermione had to choose between Harry or Ron in a life and death situation she'll always end up picking Harry above anything or anyone.

shed die for ron too. i meant really that she was sacrificing herself to the cause like she always did. ron just wasnt there but she always was

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>implying

Great post. especially this "1 is like a school play"

HBP is patricians choice

>and then he said

>x childrens movie is the patricians choice!

Watching Half Blood Prince right now.

How does people literally believe that the those freaks would win in a human vs le magicians war?

How can that overpowered senile teacher do anything against a """"""muggle"""""" F-22?

It's pretty much implyed that the reason they keep themselves secret is because muggle weapons fuck them up.

if they wanted to they could curse the thames, set magicial beasts on london and imperius curse, polyjuice potion, stealthly apparate and kidnap/ take over the PM in one night. declare martial law and round up all the muggles to safe zones due to the chaos in the streets and they literally mass murder them like the sheeps they are

watch more films.

I've seen thousands and thousands

Sort yourselves.

(although the Sorting Hat takes your choice into account)

Gryffindor

>Bravery
>Nerve
>Chivalry
>Courage
>Daring
>Strength of Will
>Justice
>Honour
>Courtesy

Hufflepuff

>Dedication
>Hard Work
>Fair play
>Patience
>Kindness
>Tolerance
>Unafraid of Toil

Slytherin

>Resourcefulness
>Cunning
>Ambition
>Leadership qualities
>Self-Preservation
>Determination
>Cleverness
>Fraternity
>Power

Ravenclaw

>Intelligence
>Wit
>Wisdom
>Creativity
>Originality
>Individuality
>Acceptance

>HBP is patricians choice
more like you've watched hundreds at most after leaving television. don't even bother replying because I know for fact what I'm saying is a fact.

Hufflepuff is for true Americans.

Try being more pretentious and passive aggressive like a girl I've watched thousands

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>tfw I made 9 different Google accounts in order to get a patronus that was appealing

It was actually pretty interesting the things that stayed the same and the things that changed each time because I did each quiz everytime too. Definetely Slytherin though Gryffindor was close and was pretty even on Pukwidjie and Thunderbird. For wand I got Cypress wood with a Dragon heartstring core 12 ¾" and Slightly Yielding flexibility everytime. I ended up going with Seal as my patronus. First one was a fucking aardvark.

At least dolphin is better than a fucking magpie.
How the fuck am I supposed to scare a dementor with that?

which house is for NEET virgin squibs?

NEET's don't got to school, dumb dumb

>he replied even though I told him not to
fucking hell these plebs are getting brave.

I'm Gryffindor what can I say

Entire school knows Gryffindor and Slytherin are the cool houses, everyone else can bugger off. Their rivalry makes the game. They are like the Yankees Red Sox

Currently marathoning Half Blood Prince, first Potions lesson of the year. Might fall asleep though, I'm tired as fuck. Gonna go attempt to Lucid Dream in Hogwarts

Slytherin, but not for edgy reasons. Reptiles are cool and green and silver are my favorite colors. And I'd say I can be resourceful and cunning a good amount of the time.