"Heh, yeah that's pretty funny. You know what else is funny? When we compare IMDB pages. Oooh sorry, did that sting?"

Things Jonah Hill says in the shower 4 days after the fact for $600, Alex.

jewishbusinessnews.com/2016/10/05/jonah-hill-highest-paid-jewish-tv-actor/

Um... are you fat shaming me? That is dis-gusting.

Why are Americans allergic to banter?

>jewishbusinessnews.com
kek

they're not meant to be

"You are an insignificant person. Also, you are female, hence you should suicide. Furthermore your talent towards men is paltry as your talent at imagination. . You look like an asperges from palestine, and your dad fucked a liferaft which was your grandmother, who farted you."

>"If you say anything like that to me again, I can't be held responsible for what happens to you. I am more powerful than you can possibly imagine. This is your one warning."

*farts*

>"Furthermore, are you going to eat that?"

the jerk store called

>So is your fantasy to be a slut?

FUCK YOU

AND THEY'RE ALL OUTTA YOU

>implying the french know imdb instead of allociné

>tfw no one gives you any (You)s

I gotchu senpai

why does that matter when you're their all time best seller

Are we ironically coming up with bad comebacks now?

I'm not, you are.

The immaculate conception of jonah°

...

That was always the point.

there are no good comebacks, what do you expect

being a fat manlet talking to an attractive woman doesn't give you a lot of options

I realize Jonah Hill has copped a lot of flab in recent years for not straying too far from comedy and tucking into much meatier rolls, but there's a lot more to this man than meets the ribeye, and it turns out he's really an all-round good guy.
If everyone on here could get off their high whores, face the cold hard fats, and stop pudding him down for two seconds, they'd realize being a fry in the ointment isn't always a piece of cake.
If there is subway you could find it in your hearts to show the milf of human kindness towards Jonah, you might come to see the reason he's regarded widely by his peers, and is, pound for pound, a true heavyweight of the Hollywood scene.
As Jonah himself once said, "when I'm sorting the beef from the chaff I always beer in mind, every hotdog has his day when the chips are brown. You've just gotta keep your eggs held high and remember that a burger in the hand is worth chewing the bush."

>Leave? You must be confusing me with a filthy frog. We Americans dont surrender our women. If I want it then I will take it. In fact now that you mention it you are looking pretty tasty for a disgusting french fucktoy. How about everyone else leaves except for the camera crew, that way everyone will remember this moment for the rest of your shortlived dead end career.
>

Done. Simple as that.

>That's quite a funny "joke" you just made at my expense. It does leave me with one burning question though. Why did I forget to laugh? If that joke was so funny why didn't it inspire the effect of laughter on my part? Why didn't I even smirk or chuckle? Oh that's right because it wasn't actually funny you see, I was just joking when I said it was. Take note little girl, that is how you tell a joke.

...

Wpow did you write this, that's so clever, you should feel so proud that your so original and funny wow! 1

Well hey, at least I smell better than anyone in this yuro excuse of a "studio"

Yo you got an extra one? I'm kinda lonely.

...

>*pulls out glock*..."Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. You were saying? No please, continue... I'd love to hear the rest of this fantasy of yours. NO, DON'T MOVE. NOBODY MOVE! EVERYONE SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND SHUT UP! What's the matter, frog got your tongue? You seemed so talkative before, what changed? Oh this? Yeah, this is normal to carry where I'm from, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's the first real one you've seen. No, don't look at anyone else, look at me. Look at me because I'm the one in control of your life right now. I'm in charge. No, don't cry, that's not going to help you. Not even a little. Wanna know why? Because at this very moment, here and now, as far as you're concerned I'm God and unless you play your cards right, I could very well be the last thing you ever see. So save your crocodile tears for someone who cares and choose your next words really fucking carefully now you stupid French bitch. You useless skank. You disgusting euro whore. Because this is my show now and your fifteen minutes are almost up. Now tell me what you are. Repeat what I just called you. Every single word. Do it. SAY IT. And start taking your clothes off as you do it. Go ahead. Yeah that's right. One piece at a time. Right here and now on national television. Good, just like that. You know, you might wanna thank me right about now. Because I'm about to make you a star you worthless cunt..."

And that's how it's really done.

Smells like reddit, my nigger.

can i get a link to the video source of this new meme

>glock

lol, you're pathetic. No wonder nobody likes you.

YOU DON'T GET IT I'M BEING AN IRONIC FAGGOT

Is that a self-insert cringe thread?

>Jonah is about to fire
>suddenly has a subway ranch-induced heart attack
>the bullet misses and just scrapes her arm
>security tackles him
>a week later, he's reading a magazine in his cell
>sees an article about her
>Brad and Leo came to privately visit her in the hospital

did they fuck her?

THE JERK STORE, AMIRITE Cred Forums?

I'll leave that up to your (and Jonah's) imagination

hhehehe they totaly fucked in my aimiagineation

"Alright. Anyways, "

>"You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I’m an easy target. Yeah, you’re right, I weigh too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you… but I don’t like to hurt people’s feelings. Well, you think what you want about me; I’m not changing. I like… I like me. Leo likes me. My Subway sandwiches like me. ‘Cause I’m the real article. What you see is what you get."

...

>"Because I'm Jewish? That's just sad."

"Why would I leave just because you want me to? I'm not French."

SO YEAH, I'M A FAT KID. AND A GOOFBALL, AND A WINGNUT, AND A KNUCKLEHEAD MCSPAZZATRON. BUT MOST OF ALL, I'M... I'M... I'M...

I'M A GOOFY GOOBER

This is objectively the only correct comeback.

They are always funny

>that joke is about as funny as your IMDB page

I don't know, everytime I see Jonah's confident face paired with a shitty comeback I have to laugh.

>A SERIOUS ACTOR

The best response would be to just keep a blank stare, not laugh and don't say anything. Make the whole thing extremely awkward and unsettling

WINNER

>AYO AYO HOL UP HOL UP
*eats*
>SO YOURE SAYIN
*catches breath*
>YOURE SAYIN THAT
*sweats*
>THAT YOU WANT
*winks at rabbi*
>YOU WANT SOME KINDA
*eats again*
>SOME KINDA
*has heart attack*
>THREE WAY?

>"Why should I live in history? Fuck, I don’t want to know anything anymore. This is a world where nothing is solved. You know, someone once told me time is a flat circle. Everything we’ve ever done, or will do, we’re gonna do over and over and over again. And that little boy and that little girl, they’re gonna be in that room again. And again. And again. Forever."

*crushes can*

>Bad taste in my mouth out here. Aluminum. Ash.

>winks at rabbi

Fucking kek

>you should just kill yourself

Smells like a couple of faggots throwing stones from their Jonah-sized glass house if you ask me.
I bet you genuinely feel bad for the guy.

>confirming yourself as a beta cuck is a good comeback
Nah

There is no good comeback

The joke is that he doesn't want to fuck her

>Yeah? Well you are a woman so your opinion literally does not matter. Tell me, sweetheart. What women have had an impact on the state of civilization. Which women have made advances that you use today? Huh? None, right? Well, the right to insult a superior actor, who in every single movie he's in pours his heart felt emotions into it, you know who gave you that right? That's right, men. WE gave you that right back when we fought for free speech, while your kind were busy with babies on your teats. You know what? Insult me, fine. Just know that at any moment, we men can take all of those precious rights away from you, and there's not a single thing you can do about it because you're some dumb cunt with a pair of tits and a vagina. Congratulations for both, sweetheart, because they're the only thing keeping you afloat. If either of the men you mentioned were in this room right now, they'd begin to convulse and vomit all over this cheap set that looks like it was designed by some filthy moor, which women like you have welcomed in by the millions. If those two men were here, you wouldn't be smiling right now, because you would have to face the reality that with all the BS out of the way, you're just some six out of ten who would get laughed off by THE SAME ALPHA MEN WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO INSULT ME. SO ONCE MORE, INSULT ME, BITCH! INSULT ME, AND KNOW WHY YOU CAN, AND NEVER FUCKING FORGET IT!

That's what he should've said haha

Talk for urself only, faggot.

>Threads women will never understand

>Here's a tip: ask for the money first.

Best comeback ive seen

hey thats pasta

*unsheathes katana*

*teleports behind her"

>"Say that again bitch, see what happens"

Objectively the only correct comeback.

Would she consider that a menace?

Here's what the show's host had to say about Jonah Hill :

>That's crazy. When Ornella went onto the set, she used Jonah Hill's own comedian culture, his Judd Apatow kind of humor. She ends her sketch with a witty joke, and then this guy takes offense. American actors think that outside of their big country, there are rules : they must be treated like stars, and you can't talk back to them(...) If you watch the whole sketch, Jonah Hill says to her just before : 'and you, you get sodomized pretty often as I've heard, right??'. Then he calls her a small time local journalist. The insult came from him.

gqmagazine.fr/pop-culture/news/articles/victor-robert-s-exprime-sur-l-affaire-jonah-hill/46651

Maybe it's time americans learn some humility and respect.

Kek

>and you, you get sodomized pretty often as I've heard, right??

is that the best he can do ?

in my fantasy, she gets sodomized a lot

This is the best reply. Shows a little butthurtedness, but is a good jab at her and would probably get a semi-shocked laugh out of the audience.

They're actually meme-kino faggot.

So just, news?

>.fr
French propaganda
>implying frogs don't consider accusations of excessive sodomy as a compliment