What would you do in this situation ?

Follow the rivers direction, should take me out of there

They do. Most witches were hung, not burned. Why would you use fire on a creature who made a pact with the freakin' Lord of Hell? Only a britbong would be that dumb.

I burn the forest down

>implying the forest magic won't make you go in a loop
This follow the river theory is so bogus

Challenge Gossip Witch to an insult match!

turn 360 degrees and walk away

>burn down a damp forrest

Is this actually possible?

I woud kill my 2 friends to show my devotion and promise the witch to bring her children like Rustin Parr did.

What? I'm like an irl Wormtongue.

Yes, but probably not on purpose. Nature is weird like that.

We didn't burn witches, we also hanged them. The Germans were the ones that burned them.

Use the map to get back. But holy shit they were stupid and deserved everything that happened to them.

Cmon, it basically is a remake

can nobody navigate with the sun any more? What the fuck is wrong with people?

There was no sun

Honestly they could've done a lot of things
>head back in the direction they came in
>hire a guide, or an expert on the woods there was bound to be one
>pray to God for the witch to fuck off
Only options.

>everyone in this thread
They were trapped in the woods by literal WITCH MAGIC. You wouldn't be able to escape barring climbing up on a tree and ninja jumping your way across the tops of trees.

>turn 360 degrees
Lel, that's what they did in the movie, didn't work

>Sedimentation is bogus

Why didn't they do just that? PLOT HOLE!

>follow the river
>Check moss on trees it tends to grow on north side divide and decide

>This is Cred Forums logic

360 degrees is all the way around you'd be right back where you started.

Did you not take geometry

I thought the was walking in circles because of some magic bullshit. No?

You can't just say this without any proof of it actually happening and not the group just being retarded.

Newfag detected

Who knows. I doubt it. The girl led them off track once they reached the graves. She decided to take a "faster" path instead of going in the direction they came which wouldve led them back perfectly. She had no idea what she was doing.

>They were trapped in the woods by literal WITCH MAGIC.

No, they weren't.

Fuck off with applying that crap from the sequelmake. They were just stupid and got themselves killed.

You know you're going to hell for that right answer don't you?

>being this new

I liked how the videogame explained that the whole forest was a single entity shifting paths to trap you inside and kill you.

>it tends to

>tfw cant tell anymore if advanced irony or newfag

That's from an old R.L. Stine book...

Sounds ok. Thanks, user.

>book
ha ha ha

jokes on you, i dont read!

CRAAAAWLING IIIIN MY SKIIIIIIIIIN

Yes, it tends to its not guaranteed have you ever been in a forest? It's not like a fucking compass m8. I could walk out to the nearest forest and point you 10 trees that have moss concentrated on a non-northside in a minute. So i think 'tends' was the right word choice.

>applying that crap from the sequelmake
I've never seen the sequel and I know nothing about it.

What makes you think they're just retarded? Is making a group of kids who fucked with your rocks run around in circles with magic too far fetched for a paranormal horror flick?

Yeah, you need to turn all the way around to get away. Are you retarded?

LOOKS LIKE YOUHHH'RE THE BUTT OF THE JOKE

Calm down, that was my point: following the moss is no garantee.

God, I hate what this place has become.

They came across Rustin Parr's house fully intact. When their footage was found not long after, it was among the old foundations of said house. Checkmate bitch.

You only have your shelf to blame.

I don't understand.

>thinking being a newfag 'on purpose' is anything but being a newfag

It obviously collapsed after after their death. Rustin Parr was a shit construction worker.

Obviously.

who owns a house in the middle of the woods anyway

I hate that fuckin' shelf.

this board is full of retards for quite some time my friend

I wish I did.

Don't hate your shelf, man!

just be you'reshelf

Trust nobody. Not even your shelf.

How did it go from a fully intact structure to nothing but a stone foundation in such a short time unless something paranormal was involved?

It's literally a direct sequel

Most sequels are just remakes. They have the same plot/action beats/character development than the original one had.

You don't know what a remake is, then.

Why are you trying to argue this? Blair Witch is not a remake.

Walk in a straight line in one direction for as long as I can. Street or shore, I'm finding an out.

Take out my boomstick and chainsaw

In the first one, you can look at it from two angles, either it was paranormal or it was just dumb kids going off track and getting lost

In the new one it's like woooah dude time and space magic witch literally rearranges reality while they sleep

See . The first one made it blatantly clear that something paranormal was hunting them.

but user there's no 360 there
the counter stops at 350
fuck you

Fucking idiot

Why do you think they use the phrase "turn all the way around and walk back"

checkmate atheists

The house they enter was standing but far from "intact". It didn't look very solid in the first palce. Literally a shack in the middle of nowhere. The Witch may have finished destroying it for some reason.

Well in that case it would still be paranormal and not just them being lost and getting pranked/murdered by local hicks.

I grew up in New England and spent a lot of time in the woods growing up. You'd see pagan symbols made out of sticks all the time. Blair Witch was weirdly influential.

I'd realize the witch is just a shitty CGI zombie and not give a fuck

t. Blair Witch

Holy shit they showed what she looks like after 17 years of mystery and that's what she fuckin looks like? Looks like a cut of beef jerky.

that's just a pawn of the witch, the girl of the first one i think

Is there a clearer shot of it? I heard it looked like the stick figures which could have been kinda cool, but that just looks like shit out of silent hill

They walked south all day and ended up in the same place. Sure seemed like magic to me.

sit down, cry, await death

y'all niggas better hope its not day 3, day 3 is when it starts to pour

>only having one map/compass
>not going into the woods armed
>no big out bags
>not having any basic idea of hiking, or even the lay of the land you are hiking

granted, the witch was fucking with them, the thought theyd only be gone a few days and it wasnt as lame as some other stupid choices in scary movies just to have cannon fodder. Iin fact it was pretty realistic how they acted which made it scary but I would have done more preparation and not entrusted all of our shit to one person. Id have some back ups just for me.
worst case scenario go in armed and go down swinging

that wasn't the Blair Witch, that was most likely the phantom/ghost/apparition/guise of Elly Kedwards

it wasnt intact. it was still standing but clearly long abandoned and fell into disarray. I have tons of houses like that where I live

>Lite Forrest on fire.
>Whisper in the witches ear
>IT'S GONNA BE ANOTHER SCORCHER

You know the witch can only harm you if you spend the night there.

So just leave before dawn so you can technically say you didn't spend the whole night.

Also close your eyes the entire time and walk backwards.

gg blur witch ez mode no re

Came here to say this. Level the playing field by burning it to the ground and shooting anyone who is left standing.

for everyone debating whether Rustin Parr's cabin was magically hidden or if it naturally collapsed

>Heather's footage was found by Lane near the tree that Rustin was hung in by the lynch mob
>near it was rubble and the foundations of an old collapsed cabin
>after four days of running around in the hell-woods, they magically find the hanging tree and Rustin's still-standing cabin in the depths of the woods
>nowhere near where they started

Nothing.

People build shit like this all the fucking time in the woods.

kys

hang out with the rednecks from the beginning and go fishing instead

>That scene where the qt purple hair girl died.

Do a 180 and moonwalk the fuck out of there

>if u get caught in wood loop when u enter woods, how did the tape get out of the woods?

REALLY GETS THOSE NEURONS FIRING

Ask for some butter

Jesus i laughed way too had at this

you do realize the key factor is spending a night in the woods right? Its not like the entire Black Woods region is an instadeath

Just go home.

no user, the joke's on you
you're reading this right now

What if an entire group of armed navy Seals spends the night, with round the clock guards?

Or a big group of burly, lumberjacks who proceed to cut down every single tree they come across to let them see for miles in the direction they came from?

So um...now that we are all here in this haunted cabin.....

Clearest shot I could get, you only see it for half a second.

Also here

you're doing good work, m8, I've been trying to get/find a good shot, but my copy is a fucking camcorder......recording a found footage movie, so the quality is abysmal

Are you fucking kidding me?

i think we've reached a new meme meta where "falling for it" is actually the meme now and people that respond are the newfags

who played her? was it Javier Bodet? He seems to be Hollywood's go-to for lanky emaciated monsters. Or was it CG?

Assholes like this should be permanently banned.

according to the director its not the actual witch

popular speculation is that its the ghost of Elly Kedwards, who was hung on a makeshift rack and left to die on suspicion of witchcraft, thus the reasoning for the loooooong looong limbs. when they came back to take down her body, it was gone, leading some to suspect that the witch got to her first

>there were only 2 of us left, 3 if you count god

The implication I got was that Elly became the witch, why else would villagers start dissapearing after they killed her if the witch already existed?

This a x1000, dose it in napalm and white phosphorus.

maybe the woods were evil/cursed even before there even was a titular witch

it wouldn't surprise me if the woods itself is the overall big-bad of the series, with things like Parr and the Witch just serving as various fonts for it to fuck with people

nah the forest is essentially a pocket dimension inside our own world, if you sleep there overnight you pretty much get "teleported" to this dimension

>mfw newfags don't know that pretending to not understand the meme IS the meme

top laff

when the memes get too meta and self-referencing

we've reached critical mass of memery

TARS what's the meme level in this thread?

>mfw your the newfag who doesn't know that shitting on the one who pretends to not understand the meme IS the meme

top laff

I like that explanation, but it doesn't really come across in the movie itself.

exactly, can't believe everybody sees a spoopy figure and automatically concludes it must be the vvitch.

First time I saw the movie I thought this. Just start burning the fucker down.

Because the new movie is really unsubtle, jump scares out the ass, "member the stick figures?", crazy time warps, etc. When it sets up an obvious origin story and has the characters being chased by something spoopy the obvious conclusion is that it's meant to be the witch.

that is fucking really unsettling, is the directors cut worth a watch?
i rewatched the theatrical cut like a week ago adn while on a technical level i found it exceptionally well made and again very very unnerving, it didnt scare me like it did the first time

This is what the sequel has done to us

Fucking hell

The forest is just another dimension. Or where another comes into ours. There is no witch but these things that happpen are because of the overflow and we just perceive it as a witch lmao

>not sure if memeing or just retarded

fuuuggg :DD

That's the point you fucking retard. When walking normally they ended up walking in a circle. That's why you turn 360 degrees first so you don't end up walking in a circle you enormous wittol.