Does anyone have any real stories about going to the cinema?

Does anyone have any real stories about going to the cinema?

I went to the movies once and saw a movie.

>Go to cinema
>watch movie
>go home
It was alright

how bout reel stories?

>attend local theater to watch the new Bourne movie
>having fun
>Bourne is about to kick some ass in Greece
>I sneeze
>I feel something wet on my seat
>I shit myself
>totally embarrassed, I go to the bathroom to clean up
>fuck, I think the ticket collector saw my shit stain
>take off my underwear and put it in my pocket
>go back into the theater
>put my underwear on the ground and step on it to shield the smell
>theater smells like poop the whole movie
>movie ends
>throw away my underwear
>BWEEEEEE

I worked at a cinema, AMA

I went to see some movie a few weeks ago but I forget what it was, and some mexican and his son sat next to me and he didn't have any shoes or socks on and he was laying down on the seats and his bare feet were on the seat right next to me. Then he and his father left 20 minutes into the movie and some morbidly obese, atleast 400 pound Mexican bitch sat right next to. Then later her mexican boyfriend who was only like one fourth of her weight dropped popcorn on the guy in front of him's head and apologized profusely in the middle of the movie.

I hate living in mexic - I mean San Jose, California.

>go to cinema
>nothing exclusionary happens and nobody even looks my way
>still feel very self-conscious because I'm alone
>make up absurd stories on Cred Forums about it to alleviate my feelings

I went alone once, minding my own bussiness and these brats about 13 or so sat behind me, the little shits kept kicking my seat and would not stop giggling and talking during advances (which I like to see) so I had to move seats after they ignored my calls to stop.

Well this was a complete waste of...
>BWEEEEEEE
Kek

>went to the bathroom
>pissed all over the floor and tp
Thought it was funny when I did it. I went to see iron man drunk

Why do people still go to cinemas anyway? If you wait you can get the superior experience by watching the movie at home.

How many condoms did you find tucked in the seats? Did you lick them?

>no singles policy

A decent amount, did find 2 pairs of panties, didn't lick any though. We would sometimes eat the leftover candy tho

Can someone please explain to me what the joke is in this picture here? Why crab legs and showers?

Fuck you the theater is top comfy, the atmosphere of it is magical

Should be magical after you pay out the Ass

>go to see Airport '77 on opening night
>lights start to go down
>lights come back up
>manager comes in and asks everyone to quickly evacuate the building through the emergency exits
>find out when we get outside that someone called in a bomb threat

Why didnt you just throw away your underwear in the bathroom? Thats what Al Roker did. You didnt think you could salvage sharted undies did you?

That's even worse than lick a condom. Don't ever reply to me ever again you disgusting freak.

I once went apeshit on some faggot vaping in the theater. I literally got so mad i chased him out of the building.

>first Jackass movie
>pretty full theater
>end up sitting in a row with five black dudes
>movie starts

>scene where they give each other paper cuts
>guy next to me can't believe what he's seeing
>screams "yo these niggas is assholes!"

>scene where Steve-O sticks the firecracker in his ass before they light it
>same guy flips his shit again
>"yo is this nigga gay?"

He was laughing all through it though. I still say "yo these niggas is assholes" in my head from time to time. Good night at the theater.

you'd be surprised how many people buy candy and then just don't even open the package
I always felt that it was probably some dad taking their ungrateful ass child to a movie while the parents are having a divorce and he's trying to bribe the kid with candy and a movie into letting him see him more than once every two weeks.

I purchased the largest bag of popcorn, especially because I thought I could get free refills. I went for one refill, was served. Went back for another, to be told that there's one free refill. I requested to know where this was indicated, to which the cashier pointed out on the menu where it says, "free refill," not, "free refills."

Are you black? Are most of your co-workers black? How does it feel to work with so many blacks?

Something to do with friends as a social experience, but this is less frequently now, leading to a decline in movie ticket sales.

fat fuck detected

I'm an aspie who loves movies, how would i go working at the cinema?

I'm the guy who posted in the going to the cinema alone thread while standing in line for a movie by myself earlier this week.

I'm fairly overweight now, but wasn't then, and this was maybe 8 years ago. I was sharing it with someone else, though.

>go to movie theater
>surprise penis inspection in the showers

you should go there always expecting a penis inspection, so you are not surprised when it happens and pleasantly surprised when it doesn't

i don't believe this
everything in theaters is so fucking expensive nobody would leave anything untouched

>Friend and I go to see Beerfest opening night
>Midnight showing
>Only like 15-20 other people in theater
>Lights go down
>Opening credits
>Break out the beer we brought
>About to open them
>Hear like 10 more beer cans open all at the same time
>Communal laugh
>Someone shouts, "Good Idea!"
>Hear one more open
>Everyone in theater busts out laughing
>No one talked for the rest of the movie

To this day its still the best theater experience I've ever had in a theater.