>Work at a large furniture company in deliveries.
>Start first day of job just stickering boxes and filling out manifests
>Boss walks up to me
>Hey kid, one of our drivers can't make it in today, can you deliver for us?
>.........
>........"I drive"
>Put on leather racing gloves and scorpion jacket
>Get in van and drive to job listening to Drive soundtrack
>Arrive at customers house
>Ring doorbell, no answer
>Call customer, they explain they'll be home within 10 minutes
>"There’s a hundred thousand streets in this city. If I drive for you, you give me a time and a place, I give you a five minute window. Anything happens in that five minutes, then I’m yours, no matter what. Anything happens a minute either side of that, and you’re on your own. Do you understand?"
>"Uh o-ok?"
>"Good. And you won't be able to reach me on this phone again"
>See customer approaching their home approximately 5m0s later
>5minutes 1s, slam foot on accelerator and speed away
Work at a large furniture company in deliveries
i miss these
holy fuck i laughed
>be me, proud Los Angeles resident
>own Drive soundtrack (all formats)
>own Drive poster (wallet size)
>own Drive jacket (aryan size)
>own Drive blu-ray and DVD (camped out on launch day)
>essentially and literally the Driver
>in homeroom
>check voicemail on my motorola razr
>it’s mom
>there’s a Drive convention happening in an hour
>i ditch class and walk to the bus stop
>get to the bus stop
>realize i forgot my toothpicks
>theres a patch of grass next to the bus stop
>put some blades of dried up grass in my mouth instead
>put on my skull candys
>stare down cars as I wait
>the brooding aura I give off is infectious
>bus gets there
>bus driver asks me for fare
>”I drive”
>He mistakes me for his shift replacement
>clocks out and hands me the keys
>I get in the drivers seat and plug my zune into the PA
>start the engine
>nightcall.mp3
>I crash the bus and 53 people die
>mom tells me to pick her up at the store
>put on my scorpion jacket and racing gloves
>get in the car and put the Drive soundtrack on
>stick toothpick in my mouth and drive to the store
>wrap my watch around the steering wheel and start the timer and wait
>mom walks out and tells me we're giving a ride to a qt girl from my school
>see her walking towards the car and panic
>quickly pull my scorpion jacket and racing gloves off and stuff them under the seat
>spit out toothpick and turn off the soundtrack
>she sits down and smiles as she says "hi"
>...
>she asks "why do u have ur watch on the steering wheel?"
>face turns red as I start giggling to myself
mom slaps me across the back of my head and says "Drive"
........I drive
wait did this actually happen?
...
>get on subway
>qt is standing near the door
>stick toothpick in my mouth and stand opposite her so we face each other
>keep glancing back and forth
>finally work up the courage to stare at her
>she starts laughing and tries staring back but can't
>can't contain my excitement so I get off the subway 30 minutes before my stop
>as I walk past her I whisper "I drive"
>trip as I start running out of the subway
the most unbelievable thing is that anyone ever purchased a Zune
should have crushed the bus with no survivors
>"Drive"
BRAVO REFN
Aww shit niggers, missed these. Gonna post my own classic story.
>back when go was in university
>drive to pick her up after classes
>have the driver mood, sunglasses, toothpick, leather jacket, muffled nightcall on the stereo
>she comes out of the front door, jogs to car
>hey user! Can we wait a bit for my friends? They asked for a lift.
>stare at her blankly
>user?
>tap the clock on the front panel
>"they have 5 minutes, no more, no less. I'm here for that time, no matter what. Past that, they are on their own."
>...uh...okay then
>we sit and wait
>see a group of them jogging to the car
>they are almost here, the guy is reaching for the door
>times up
>floor it
>storm away, almost running over the guy
>"OMFG user! Why?! You are a special kind of dick yada yada !..."
>don't listen to her, just smile vaguely and turn the radio up
>"there's something about you boy..."
>drive into the sunset
Je conduis.
...
>still have to fight the urge to buy the scorpion jacket
...
Kek
>tfw bought the jean jacket he wears and seriously considering buying his shoes
>be me
>in theater
>watching final scene of drive
>a real hero starts playing
>the driver blinks
>suddenly a wave of euphoria rushes over me
>I reach to pop the collar on my scorpion jacket
>I realize that I haven't bought one yet because I didn't know about it until watching this film which isn't over yet
>wait until the the very last frame of the credits before leaving the cinema, which is standard patrician viewing procedure
>head out to the snacks counter
>qt and fat dude serving
>start sweating
>avoid qt and go up to fat dude
>ask for a couple of crabs legs to tape onto the back of my white polo
>he shakes his head and shoots me the look that the kids at school usually give me
>feel sick fury build deep from within my stomach
>go out to parking lot
>wait hours for his shift to be over, nearly pass out
>he finally heads over to his car
>it's a Chevy Impala
>the most popular car in the state of California
>no one will be looking at him
>or so he thinks
>wait until he gets in
>leap onto roof
>pull pants down
>try to unleash epic seafood turd
>forgot about the jumbo two liter coke consumed whilst watching the movie
>start pissing uncontrollably
>cargo shorts are completely drenched
>he starts the car
>tumble backwards off the roof
>land on my neck
>can't feel my body anymore
>bowels release themselves loudly
>onlooker runs up to me
>"What the fuck are you okay?"
>look her in the eye
>stare intensely whilst smirking in a cool way
>"I guess there truly are no clean getaways"
INDIA
N
D
I
A
>be me
>in theater
>watching final scene of drive
>a real hero starts playing
>the driver blinks
>suddenly a wave of euphoria rushes over me
>I reach to pop the collar on my scorpion jacket
>I realize that I haven't bought one yet because I didn't know about it until watching this film which isn't over yet
>wait until the the very last frame of the credits before leaving the cinema, which is standard patrician viewing procedure
>head out to the snacks counter
>qt and fat dude serving
>start sweating
>avoid qt and go up to fat dude
>Boss walks up to me
>Hey kid, one of our drivers can't make it in today, can you deliver for us?
>.........
>........"I drive"
>Put on leather racing gloves and scorpion jacket
>Get in van and drive to job listening to Drive soundtrack
>Arrive at customers house
>Ring doorbell, no answer
>Call customer, they explain they'll be home within 10 minutes
>start pissing uncontrollably
>cargo shorts are completely drenched
>mom tells me to pick her up at the store
>put on my scorpion jacket and racing gloves
>get in the car and put the Drive soundtrack on
>stick toothpick in my mouth and drive to the store
>wrap my watch around the steering wheel and start the timer and wait
>mom walks out and tells me we're giving a ride to a qt girl from my school
>see her walking towards the car and panic
>quickly pull my scorpion jacket and racing gloves off and stuff them under the seat
>can't contain my excitement so I get off the subway 30 minutes before my stop
>as I walk past her I whisper "I drive"
>trip as I start running out of the subway
Should've ended with
>real human bean
>own drive poster
>wallet size