Cred Forums, Driveposting has changed my life.
>Be me, June 2015, 23 y/o autistic loser living with mom and working part-time at a grocery store.
>See random Driveposting thread, decide to check the movie out
>Holy fuck autism has never looked so cool.
>Decide to become the driver.
>Have shitty broken down, 2001 Toyota Camry, but fuck it, its a start. Decide to look for a driving job.
>Finally see a "Drivers Wanted" sign at a popular pizza place that delivers till 2am
>Land interview
pt 1/?
>Watch Drive before the interview to psych myself up.
>Walk in, meet with boss. Say as little as possible. He tells me they go through drivers pretty frequently because no one wants to deliver pizzas at 2am on a Saturday.
>Asks me if I'm up to it
>Look him straight in the eye.
>Let 10 seconds go by
>"Yeah, that'd be fine."
Get hired on the spot.
3/?
>Start driving for pizza place Thurs-Sun 10pm-2am
>Manage to convince grocery store to let me work 2pm-8:30pm same days for convenience
>Start jogging in the mornings to get fit like the driver
>3 months go by
>Loving my delivery job. Spend the entire time listening to the Drive soundtrack (and occasionally Hotline Miami 1/2 and other various synth shit,) occasionally practicing my driving moves when the streets are empty.
>Pizza place also serves as constant source of toothpicks.
>Enthusiasm for driving quickly makes me their best, most trustworthy Driver. Constantly picking up extra shifts, etc.
>Boss offers to let me work 6-2am Thurs-Mon, + 2 dollar raise, since it will allow him to fire some of the shittier employees
>"You give me a time and a place, I give you an 8 hour window. Anything happens in that 8 hours and I'm yours. No matter what. Anything happens a minute on either side of that, and I'm gone. You understand?"
>Boss looks around awkwardly "....sure"
Bane?
Good for you user, though the ending showed you're still one autistic fuck.
I believe.
nice meme
Same here OP. I watched that flick also, then got a job delivering newspapers at 3 in the morning.
4/?
>New hours/raise allows me to quit my grocery job
>Think about how the Driver would do this
>Go in for my regular shift that Monday
>Stone face through my shift, saying as ,little as possible, as usual.
>5pm hits. Need to be at pizza place in an hour
>Store starts to get busier, as usual.
>Working the register. Some middle aged women starts complaining that I'm not bagging fast enough.
>"How bout this. Shut your mouth. Or I'll kick your teeth down your throat and shut it for you."
>Women stops talking, doesn't call a manager as I expected, and just slinks away, slightly terrified.
>5:30,
>Just stop mid scan and start walking out
>Manager "user, where are you going?"
>Look over my shoulder
>....
>...
>..
>"I drive."
>Walk out and never look back.
I don't know what to say other than godspeed. Godspeed, OP.
5/5
>Fast forward several months.
>Have shed considerable weight, getting really fucking good at driving
>Tips are generally awesome due to the general speed and frequency of my deliveries
>Also begin sneaking into a community college during the day and using their gym/ sitting in on car maintenance classes
>Save up enough for shitty Mazda 2012
>Start ritual of Uber in the afternoon, pizza at night, and working out and classes during the day.
>Doing this I eventually was able to move out into a shitty apt. in the city.
I'm gonna start boxing twice a week next month, and possibly look into getting a job working as a mechanic soon. I've already got a diner I frequent.
Whats the next step of my master plan?
Get a tailored jacket. Doesn't need to have a scorpion on the back, put any animal, like a turtle or a lemming.
Get involved in petty crimes and move up from there
Getting more driver-like clothes is on my list. According to /fit/, I'm maybe a year away from reaching Driver-mode. At that point, I'll probably get the jacket.
Find a waifu to awkwardly gawk and smirk at.
That's not at all what he would have done, but okay, you're a legit autist, so all is forgiven. Also, pretty fucking cool.
Find a qt single mother to hold hands with and raise son as emotionally crippled Le Samourai clone.
Actually, I started shoplifting a few months ago, just to get my nut-up. Just petty shit I can use, like food and such to save money here and there.
this is an inspiring and very austistic thread
Nice. Post results when you do.
Are you close to Gosling in looks or at least good looking?
Stop doing that. If you get caught it's a usually put on a criminal record. Only steal something that's really worth it
are you serious
OP you are like legit retarded.
Subscribed to your blog, looking forward to more updates !
When do you sleep?
There are many men like you
Somewhat autistic silent young men crusing the suburban landscape in their cars, playing out some noble fantasy in their heads to stay alive in this shit.
kek'd and fucking nice
There's hope for everyone
Pls be real. This is the most autistic thing I've read on this site
I'm not bad looking, but I'm no Ryan Gosling. As I've started to get more fit, I've had a couple girls try to flirt with me (often pizza deliveries and Uber passengers.) Waiting 10 seconds before answering has helped me with my autism, as I have time to think of something to say.
I got caught shoplifting once, and I just ran the fuck out of there. It was just an apple, so they didn't bother with the cops or anything.
Either way, 75126127, noted
I don't eat
I don't sleep
I do nothing but think of yoooouu
3ish am- 10ish am most nights. Tuesday/Wednesday I'll generally sleep for 10 hours to make up for it.
Stop doing this
You will get caught and embarrassed eventually, for nothing.
If you want to get your 'nut up', honestly, one of the best things may be just trying to get into some fights at a couple of clubs, or something.
OP where do you piss when youre driving?
An empty gatorade bottle?
I don't Uber all that much, so its not that difficult for me to hold it for 1-2 hours. Just some extra cash.
When delivering pizzas, at work.
Tell us a good story about finding your Drivefu. You absolute madman!
...
...
>ywn be this attractive
it's not even worth living, sall i can do is be ugly
Watch Nightcrawler next OP, it contains the next step
I've seen it. I'm not a sociopath. Also, he talks too much.
Tfw i have to try driveposting now and reach my maximum potential
>get my haircut like Driver and start wearing clothes like Driver
>not autistic
Is this the greatest delusion outside of Cred Forums?
What city you in op?